Hey, guys! I just watched the new episode, "Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future," and it was scary-awesome. I seriously cannot wait for the next episode. For this fanfiction, though, keep in mind that it takes place before that episode.
Birch Ellpi arrived at exactly 6:00 in the evening. Oddly enough, he arrived the moment the clock struck six.
"Hi, Birch!" Mabel squealed, grabbing his arm. He was wearing a banana-yellow suit, which Dipper found uncomfortable to look at, although he couldn't figure out why.
Mabel's boyfriend recoiled for a millisecond but bounced back immediately with a wide smile. "How are you, toots?" he asked, pulling her off him. To Dipper, he said, "Nice to see you, Pines! You look well, I see."
Dipper eyed him grumpily. For some reason, it felt to him like that sentence was more of a challenge than a conversation starter.
Mabel hopped up and down excitedly. "I'm so glad you're here!" she gushed, ignoring her brother and dragging Birch into the kitchen. Dipper followed them sullenly, not taking his eyes off the well-dressed interloper.
Grunkle Stan had set up a plastic table where the usual table was with a cheap tablecloth on top. He'd set up six places. Dipper noticed that he'd put the forks and knives in the wrong places, not to mention folding the napkins like a drunken four year old.
Ford's reaction to the table was the way Dipper imagined. "What did you do?" he exclaimed upon entering the kitchen. "Fifty years in my house, and you never learned how to set a table?"
"What do you expect?" Stan replied with annoyance, glaring at his brother. "I was a little busy, trying to save you."
The younger twins glanced at each other with worried expressions. For once, Mabel was thinking about something other than Birch. Both of them were wondering if it would ever be possible for their great uncles to care about each other again like they once had.
Their worry made Dipper take a moment to notice the look on Birch's face. He appeared to be a shade paler than usual, and he was slowly inching backwards.
"Is something wrong?" Dipper asked accusingly.
Birch adjusted his expression, smiling once more. "Not a thing."
Ford looked away from Stan to frown at Birch. "Are you wearing eye contacts, young man?"
Dipper wondered what piqued the question, but Birch answered calmly, "Yeah, I am, for vision, you know. You know what? I just remembered; I have a prior engagement. Truly sorry, but I must be leaving."
With that, he strode right out of the kitchen and out the door.
Mabel's face fell. "Birch, wait!" she cried, running after him.
Argument forgotten for the time being, Grunkle Stan huffed, "Talk about rude." He stretched and accompanied Ford out of the room. "Well, more Stancakes for us!"
Dipper frowned. How bad at cooking could Stan be to make breakfast food for dinner? And more importantly, why had Birch left? Somehow he doubted it was because of a "prior engagement".
Just then, the doorbell rang.
Dipper practically jumped. He wondered if Mabel was back, with or without her mysterious boyfriend. But then he heard Stan shout from the living room, "Dipper! I'm too lazy to get up! Get the door, would you?"
Dipper remembered who else was coming and drooped a few inches. Pacifica.
Okay, she wasn't so bad anymore. But he was reluctant to invite her over.
Walking as slow as possible, he headed to the front door and threw it open. A bewildered Pacifica stood there.
"Dipper?" she said. "Why is your sister following Lumberjack Girl's friend Lee into the forest? And honestly, he looks like a punk accountant in that suit."
Dipper blinked. He hadn't been expecting that. Then he registered what she'd actually said.
"What do you mean, Lee?" he asked. "Didn't you hear? Lee's gone missing."
Pacifica rolled her eyes. "I don't care what happens to the farmhands." She looked suddenly uncomfortable, though, as if thinking about the "farmhand" in front of her.
Dipper decided not to tell her that they were, in fact, in the suburbs, and not the rural area. He doubted she'd know the difference, anyway. They had more pressing matters at hand.
"But what do you mean?" he repeated. "How could Lee just come out of nowhere and…?"
He trailed off, realization hitting him.
"Lee," he said again. Pacifica looked at him like he was nuts.
A weight dropped into his stomach. He needed to get to Mabel, now.
"You're not that hungry, are you?" he asked Pacifica at once.
"I guess not…" she said, still baffled.
Dipper nodded, grabbing a flashlight from the cluttered corner table. "Grunkle Stan! Grunkle Ford! We're going outside!" he shouted.
To Pacifica, he said, "Good, because dinner's going to be a while."