Chapter 6

Everyone grieves differently. Trust me, I know. I'm so concerned about Rachel. I haven't heard from her or spoken to her. Mom told me to give her some space which I completely understand. It's just, it's been two months.

I miss her, but I know I can't be selfish.

Chelsea made cards for Emma and Rachel. Mom and I picked out flowers.

We want to make them feel love. "Nothing yet?" Mom asked me as she hands over a plate of brownies. I'm usually always up for brownies; except today's different.

"Nothing. Not a call, not a text.." I respond shrugging my shoulders.

"Hang in there, kiddo. She's trying too. We'll be there for the both of them."

For days I've worried about her. For days I've cried about her. "Does it feel wrong to fall in love with her?"

"Finn-"

"I'm so in love with her! But then I think about her family. I don't want to confuse her."

"I know you've loved her since the day you met her. I remember the look in your eyes. It's the look of love. All I want is for my son to be happy." Mom says stroking my back up and down. "And you're happy with Rachel. She needs time to grieve." Mom's always right. She knows the words to say.

All I want is for Rachel to understand that I'm here for her. She doesn't have to run or hide. She didn't do either of that.

She came to me. I walk over to the door after hearing it ring. It was Rachel. She's wearing a long black sweater with no make up with dark sunglasses. Do I give her a hug? Do I comfort her? I decide not too. Instead she hugs me.

Not a two minute hug, a long warm hug. The hug I've wanted to give to her. "I love you. I want to be with you." I can't tell if she's being serious. She doesn't take off her sunglasses. There are no tears. "I'm ready Finn."

She touches my chest with her hand. "I love you. Why aren't you saying anything?" She asked resting her head on me.

What do I tell her? I don't want to hurt her as much as she already is. "Have you thought about this?" You can't fall quickly in love with someone after a loss?

Can you?

"I love you. I love you. Just tell me if you love me too." She doesn't let go of me. I've already told her I love her. It wasn't the most perfect time. I felt stupid..Because Zach recently passed away. I keep reminding myself time and space is what Rachel really needs.

"I guess you don't. I always thought you did. I'm a terrible person. That's why Zach left me in this world, that's why Emma's mad at me. I have nothing." She hits me multiple times with tears in her eyes. I try stopping her but she won't stop until she collapsed on the floor. I kneeled down and held her. I stroke her hair.

She's so full of mix emotions. First she hugs me then she hits me. It's all grief. I just let her sob in my arms.

My arms were around a heartbroken young mother for two hours. She fell asleep on me and I allowed her to lay on my chest. Chelsea came downstairs with her cards. "I have the cards daddy." I wipe my own tears with my hands. Chelsea sits down next to us. "You're the sweetest little girl."

Chelsea carefully hugs me, trying not to wake up Rachel. "I heard her crying."

"She was. She's sad, baby girl."

"Do you think these cards will make her happy?" Chelsea asked.

"You can try." I said reaching over to give her a kiss. "Where's Granny?"

"She's upstairs doing laundry." Chelsea responds. "Daddy.." She pokes me. We both look at Rachel who tossed and turned. I whisper gentle words in her ear. "Sshh...you're having a dream." Rachel sat up. That's when I can honestly tell she's so confused. "Zach.."

"Oh, Rachel.." My heart breaks for her. "You had a dream. Did you see him there?"

"I-" She tried to speak but she started sobbing. "I want Emma." She finally says. "I want Emma but I don't want to stay in that house. There's pictures, flowers, and everything that reminds me of him." She tries to catch a deep breath. "Ssh.." I try to calm her down. "Chelsea baby? Can you get a glass of water please?" I asked. Chelsea nods and gets water for Rachel.

"Please drink some." Rachel took the glass of water. She took slow sips. "If you want you can stay with me. We have a guest room."

Rachel shook her head. "No. Emma hates you. I'll just sleep at Jenny's house."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." Rachel responds looking down. That's when Chelsea came up to her. She gave her several cards she's made. "These cards are special. I hope it can make you smile." She said handing them over to Rachel. She greatly took them from Chelsea.

The cards were arts and crafts. Chelsea decorated them with flowers and stars. She also had comforting words that were 'You are strong. Remember that. We're here from you. Love Hudson's.' I saw how touch Rachel felt after reading every card. She placed a hand on her heart. "Thank you so much. You're so precious." She says hugging my daughter.

"He's not gone. He's in your heart." Chelsea says before walking away, leaving the two of us behind. "Thank you Finn. For your kindness and your words. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for a shoulder to cry on. I'm really glad we've met." Rachel says slowly standing up. "I have to get home. I have my own daughter too."

We were both standing now. "Come by any time or call me." I say. "If you need to talk or you need to cry.." Rachel nods. She gives me a small hug. "I will. I'll see you later." She left just like that. I didn't want her to go back and to feeling lonely again.

She says she will tell me if she needs me. I'm not totally sure how promising that sounds.