"Emma." She only called her that when she was sure there wasn't anyone else but them around. She treated it like a cool glass of water on a hot sunny day. " your punishment is over but I still expect you here after 's one of my requirements as my teacher's assistant."
"Sure. "
The blonde smiled, the kind of smile that had the power to render the usually well spoken teacher momentarily speechless. She wasn't sure when or how it happened but lately this was happening a lot to her. Only in Emma's Swan's presence.
"Now..." Those jade eyes looked over at her rapt with attention, still full with a small smile. "Go bring out the boxes in the white cabinet over there."
She directed Emma to it with a tilt of her head and the blonde was moving. She never had a teacher's assistant. Nobody had ever wanted to spend any extra unnecessary time around her. So actually having one felt awkward, like learning to walk for the first time. She would try her best not to let the blonde see this and thought to have her do anything and everything. Emma let out a small oof as she dropped the box, and she was drawn back to the task at hand.
"Sort through those and organize them alphabetically...please."
Wordlessly, Emma lifted the cardboard lid, and removed stacks of photocopies and loose papers.
She busied herself with a different box, but gave herself the same task. Rather than dull and tedious, it was actually quite therapeutic. It was just their quiet breathing and the shuffling of papers for the longest time. Until, Emma started humming. There was an urge to snap at her, to tell her to stop immediately but the sound was enchanting, and oddly endearing. Emma was comfortable enough around her to let go, unless she was unaware she was doing it. Her ears strained to piece together the melody, consciously recognizing the string of notes flowing one after another . Then it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"You're beautiful." Emma's cheeks burst into rosy flames, and surprise widening her eyes. Then she realized there was no context behind it. She quickly elaborated, fearing an embarrassing situation. "The songs you choose to hum in your idle time have me starting to wonder about you dear."
"I'm sorry I can stop. They just invade, you know?"
"I do." She smiled at Emma it had been amusing seeing her so reaction. "I had Taylor Swift stuck in my head for a good two days and I don't usually even listen to her. I caught parts of it on the radio..." Emma laughed.
"I hate when that happens."
They shared a smile and she averted her gaze to the papers.
How was it after only a couple of exchanged sentences she felt like a brand new person, refreshed, and happy? She wanted to feel like this all the time.
She swept her eyes across the tabletop, to steal a glance at Emma standing to her right. They were almost the same height, but she knew if it weren't for her heels Emma would be taller. It was such a strange situation to be in. Emma a grown adult in high school as her student.
"I still don't understand your choice to be here in high school."
Emma twisted her head, and any trace of her smile was gone.
"I know its weird...I just never got to experience high school. I didn't want to miss out on it. I've missed out on so many life experiences already."
It was still a strange concept for her.
"It must have taken you a lot of courage."
"Yes...if it wasn't for my mother I probably never would have even continued my education. She helped me see where my future was heading. I want to be able to support Henry...and I want him to look up to his mother. I don't want to be a drop out to him."
Emma's tone of voice softened, and took on a more defeated tone. She wanted to reach out, offer her a comforting hand but she just knew it wasn't appropriate so she held on to the papers in her hand, gripping the edges tighter than necessary.
"What about you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Your choice to be here. Why teach high schoolers? They suck."
"This is my last year actually… It started off guide my students, let them see their full potential but times change, so do people. Now everyone hates English, and despises any work beyond fill in the blank." And me. She added in her head.
"Thats….sad. This school's losing a good teacher." Emma wasn't just saying that to be nice. The down turn to her mouth, and eyes said so.
"Thats life." It came out harder, and sharper than what she intended, but she was feeling too many conflicting emotions. Bitter by how her life turned out, angry that Emma was bringing this up, and sad that this woman was the only one who seemed to think that way about her.
The jab wounded Emma, she returned to her papers and didn't say anymore. I am a bitch. She found herself thinking.
She didn't like this version of Emma. It made her feel guilty, and upset at herself. Why can't I do anything right? She worried her bottom lip and dropped her task of sorting papers.
"I'll be back shortly." She said. She didn't wait for a response from Emma and just fled to the bathrooms. She needed air. She needed to pull herself together. It was getting pathetic how over emotional she became these days. It shouldn't matter to her how Emma felt but it did. She locked the bathroom stall and just sat there, mentally asking herself what she was doing. At what point in her life did she feel the need to run away from a student? It shouldn't be that way. She pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled loudly. Just go back. Act like everything's fine. You are making this into a big deal and its not. She pushed back the stall door and glanced in the mirror. Her hair was falling flat...and her mascara was slightly smudged. She spent the next couple of minutes trying to fix it, and no she wasn't stalling. Finally her hair fell the way she liked it and she managed to get the small smudge off without making a huge mess of things. She took in a deep calming breath and returned to her class.
The blonde looked up for a split second to see who had entered and just went back to the papers. She felt cast aside but certainly that wasn't what Emma had done. No she was just doing what she had asked of her. Organizing papers. What was she expecting anyway? A welcome back party?
She didn't join Emma this time. Instead she went to her desk. There were some lesson plans she could go over. Some papers she could finish grading. She was too distracted by her thoughts to see the latest prank. Even if she hadn't been distracted, it would have been impossible to notice.
When she sat down, her world fell apart. Literally. The rolling chair she sat in, collapsed under her weight, the screws having been loosened to the point of nearly falling out. This one hurt. Physically but more so emotionally. She wanted to be strong in front of Emma but that was impossible when she was so near her breaking point. She gathered herself as best as she could and sat up, desperately try to calm her frantic heartbeat, and tried to blink back the tears as she remained on the cold linoleum flooring.
Emma, the sweet girl, was by her side the moment she sat up.
"Regina!" She kneeled beside her and the look of concern on her face just made her want to cry.
"Are you okay?"
"Yes." Her voice shook, though. This was too much for her to handle right now. Emma, the chair, her emotions.
"You don't look okay...You're shaking." When did that happen? She closed her eyes, as if to will away the entire situation, but the gentlest of touches met her arm, causing her to open them again. "Did you hit your head?"
"No."
"Good…" Emma inched closer to her on the floor, moving nearer to comfort her. She didn't want to be treated like a wounded animal, but that's how she felt, and Emma was just too kind to turn away. Emma's other hand took hold of her own that had been resting in her lap.
"Hey." Her eyes locked with Emma's. "You look like you could use some air. How about we go for a walk?"
"Okay." Anything to get away from this disaster. Why were they so cruel, hasn't she suffered enough? Shakily, she stood with Emma's gentle pull to her hand. Her palm, slid so easily into hers, it was warm and soft like she suddenly held a beam of sunlight in between her fingers. Emma went to release her hand but, for some reason she gripped it tighter. She needed it. Emma's brow softened. Nothing in the expression held pity, only understanding, and there was an unspoken agreement between them. Emma kept hold of her hand, but her legs didn't want to move. Her body was in shock, her nerves a jittery mess and moving felt like climbing Everest.
"Regina…"
Don't cry. She told herself. You've been through worse, but she hadn't. Somehow this one incident felt like the final blow to her carefully constructed glass house. It shattered, and now she was recalling everything. Daniel, her parent's death, painful pranks, and even her bitter attitude towards Emma.
"Regina..." Emma said her name again, but this time it was different. Her voice was brimming with an emotion that gripped tightly on her heart. Emma sounded grief-stricken, and on the verge of tears herself. Once more their gazes locked and the exchange of emotions between them became too much. Emma pulled her into a hug, a desperate needy embrace that both of them somehow needed just as much as the other.
"Im sorry…" Emma whispered. This wasn't anybody's fault but her own. Emma didn't need to be apologizing.
"Don't be." She talked around the lump in her throat and instead, buried her face into Emma's neck. She didn't want to feel the pain anymore, and hiding in Emma's warmth made her feel protected, it took some of that pain away. One by one the tears fell and she let them, just grateful Emma was there to shelter her.
"These pranks have to stop…" Emma said softly.
"They won't because I deserve them."
"No." Emma shook her head, and she could practically feel the blonde's own heartbeat squeezing painfully. "Nobody deserves this kind of treatment…"
Emma held her tighter, stroking her hair and they just let their emotions run their course.
A shudder, took over her body when Emma's hand slid from her hair, to the back of her neck. Everything about the blonde was comforting, and it reminded her of just how much she missed the embrace of a lover, the love and care portrayed through the simplest of touches.
More so, it reminded her of how much she came to care for Emma despite having only known her for a couple of weeks. She had to end the embrace because of that.
"Thank you Emma." She cleared her throat, her hands just barely trailing down Emma's back as she withdrew from the brace. They ghosted over her hips and she felt her thoughts shift to a forbidden place, imagining how they might feel without the fabric of her jeans in the way.
"Of course. Regina." Emma's eyes still held a depth of sorrow that made her heart ache. "How about that walk?" She called it a day and locked up the classroom.
The air was slightly chilly and they subconsciously walked closer, as the outside temperature dropped.
"You don't have to do this Emma. You should go home to Henry. I'll be fine." She pulled her coat tighter around her waist as she spoke.
The blonde frowned.
"Henry's spending the next couple of days on a camping trip with my dad, and...I don't want to go home. Not yet." Emma looked over at her shyly. The small breeze, tossed her strands of hair into a mess of curls, and her cheeks were pinkening because of it. Emma Swan had yet to look as beautiful as she did in that moment.
"If you insist."
They had decided to go for a walk off school property, and Regina had driven them to a small air line trail. The gravel made it difficult because of her heels but she refused to say anything about it. She was spending time with Emma, and that made the struggle worth it. Was she really that desperate for company?
"Do you plan on teaching elsewhere?"
"It's crossed my mind."
"You should."
The two words hung in the air between them, as they both considered the statement. She couldn't imagine a life without teaching, she just couldn't stay here any longer. Too many bad memories, too many mistakes made.
"Regina...do you want to go see a movie? On me of course!"
"Today?"
"It doesn't have to be..." She hadn't been to the movies in years, the whole concept was unappealing but it was something Emma wanted. Maybe she would enjoy it.
"What would we see?"
Emma laughed.
"Does it matter? It'll be fun just say 'sure Emma I'd love to go see a movie with you!" She felt her lip twitch in amusement.
"Sure Emma I'd love to go see a movie with you!" She did her best impression of Emma just then and they broke into laughter.
"That's what I was hoping you'd say." She rolled her eyes at Emma but there was a smile still on her face.
As they walked the sun started setting. Emma was the first to suggest they turned around and Regina was silently grateful. It was cold and she was sure to have a blister or two.
"I know you don't want to talk about it but you should. Why do you think you deserve to be treated so poorly?" She should have expected a question similar to that. Once they ran out of things to talk about it always boiled down to what they had been trying to avoid. "I won't judge you for it. I promise...I just want to know why you think that way. What happened?"
"Surely you notice the way I treated you at the start of the year?"
"Well, yeah. You thought I ruined your Gucci handbag and then I ran you over in the hall. I'd treat me like you did too. How much did that bag actually cost?"
"I wasn't exaggerating about the price. Its well over 10,000."
"WHAT!"
"How...on a teacher's salary?"
"I don't need the money. I've inherited my family's small fortune. I could retire and live comfortably the rest of my life if I so desired..." Emma was regarding her differently know, staring at her like she just discovered some foreign species.
"Yet you still put up with this job..." Emma said it really more to herself. She could tell the blonde was trying to get over the fact that she willingly came to work to be abused by her students when she didn't need to.
"I told you. I enjoy teaching."
"You still haven't answered my question."
She sighed.
"My past was full of mistakes Emma and I'm just paying for them now." Her tone was final. She did not want to dig up any more emotional issues from her past. She was still too raw to talk about them. They stayed silent the remaining distance to Regina's car, both feeling pensive about what they just discussed. When they drove off, Emma flipped through the radio, and when Taylor Swift came on. She couldn't help grinning ear to ear. Regina shook her head but never made a move for the dial.
A/n: This felt dark...Poor Regina. Things will get better. Thanks for reading! Happy New Year!