Okay, so I'm a little nervous about posting this chapter. At this point, things are about to change for Alexis and Kevin. I hope you enjoy!

This was becoming to be too difficult. She didn't want to feel this way; it was hardly the right time to feel this way about him. There was too much going on. They were just becoming good friends and they were both feeling better about the pregnancy, especially Kevin. She was becoming more and more excited about being a parent. Now that things were falling into place, she wasn't as fearful as she was when first finding out about it. Maybe this was how things were supposed to work out, even though things were weird with Kevin and her, that didn't mean it always had to be that way.

A smile appeared on her face, thinking about him and the baby. She didn't need to feel these feelings for him. She needed to be focused on the baby, not him.

It shouldn't have make her light up when she saw him come through the door. Butterflies shouldn't appear whenever they were standing close to each other. It was completely stupid that she got a smile every time he called or sent a text. It just wasn't right. Especially not now.

She shouldn't be thinking about how hypnotic his eyes were, or how attractive he was when he smiled. She shouldn't be thinking about if he felt the same way. Definitely not. He probably didn't feel the same about her. He didn't treat her any differently, there were no lingering looks coming from him. She would know, because all she had been able to do around him was look at him.

He had caught her doing it a few times. She covered it up by just saying that she was lost in a thought. He seemed to buy it easily enough.

Her phone rang, bringing her out of her thoughts.

The stupid smile appeared when she saw his face pop up across the screen.

"Hello, Detective," she answered.

"Good, you're up."

She looked at the clock. "It's noon."

"Last Saturday, you slept til two," he reminded her.

"I was sick that day."

"I take it that you are feeling fine today?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I have a plan."

"Should I be afraid?" She laughed.

"Depends. Are you scared of dark places?"

"Depends on who I am with," she said, already feeling a little uneasy about the unknown plan.

"You'll be with me."

A dark place with him. Why was she now excited about this?

"Okay, what dark place is this?"

"It's a surprise."

"I hate surprises."

"I know, but this will be a good one."

She sighed. She really did hate surprises. Finding out she was pregnant sort of made the shine wear off.

"When will this surprise be taking place?"

"Tonight when I get off work. I'll text you when I am on my way. Work for you?"

"I'll be here," she agreed, then remembered that she had to help Martha with a play she was putting on."Wait, I might be with Gram, so you might have to pick me up at the school."

"Alright, just let me know when I text you. I should get back to work. Javi's staring daggers at me."

She laughed. "I'll see you later."

"Give the little one a rub for me."

She smiled at his request. "Will do."

"Alright, bye."

"Bye." She smiled and kept smiling for a while afterwards.

Martha had ended up calling, and Alexis wasn't exactly happy to go help. It had nothing to do with Martha, it had more to do with her not wanting to do much of anything. Ever since she found out about the baby, she hadn't exactly felt like doing much.

She was helping Martha's assistant, Jake, with getting costumes ready for the students when her phone beeped. She smiled when she saw that it was a text from Kevin.

He came to pick her up, telling her that she needed to get away from the apartment. She knew had a point, but she didn't have any motivation to go anywhere or do anything, maybe because she knew once the baby got here, she'd be on her feet 24/7.

Kevin begged and she decided one night wouldn't kill her. They ended up going to see a movie. She hadn't entered a movie theater in over a year and she was a little excited to be there.

Halfway through the movie, she couldn't take it anymore. The armrest was digging into her side. She sat up and moved it up, hoping her problems would be solved. A new one came to.

She sat back in her chair trying to get comfortable, but it wasn't working. Sitting up straight wasn't an option. It was painful and was making her sick. Maybe seeing a movie wasn't a good idea for her.

"Here," she heard Kevin whisper. "Lean into me."

She gave him a weird look. Clearly she had heard him wrong. "What?" She asked, trying to hear him better.

"Lean into me," he repeated and she met his eyes. He wasn't joking?

"Seriously?"

He nodded. "It will be more comfortable for you." She bit her lip. He had a point. She couldn't sit up and the armrest was too hard.

"You sure?" She asked again.

He nodded. She moved toward him slowly, waiting for him to change his mind, but he didn't. She gently rested against him, feeling a little weird. Was this appropriate? She knew it wasn't on her behalf. She was the one with the ridiculous crush, not him. He was probably just trying to be sweet. She almost moved back, but his scent and warmth prevented it. Once she nestled against him, with her hand on his chest, she found it hard to pay attention to the movie. The heat coming from his body and feeling his heart beat was so much more entertaining.

"Comfortable?" he asked putting his hands on her shoulder.

"Uh, yeah." She answered and then rolled her eyes at herself. He was definitely only doing this to be sweet. She felt so pathetic. She spent the rest of the movie enjoying being close to him. Feeling his chest rise and fall was relaxing. She may have fallen asleep, if not for his cologne. The scent made it hard for her to stop her hand from gliding up his chest, but she didn't move. She even restrained herself from moving when his hand moved from her shoulder to her waist. It didn't feel like he had put it there on purpose, but that didn't stop her from savoring his touch.

She was sort of happy when the movie came to an end. She was feeling guilty for enjoying his touch so much.

The drive back to the apartment was filled with talking about certain foods she should be eating and exercises she should start doing. She sometimes felt that Kevin was already a father, with no baby, so he had to focus on her instead.

They got back to the apartment and she couldn't have been happier. She liked leaving, but it felt good being back home. "Thanks again for taking me out tonight. I really needed it," she said, sitting down on the couch next to him.

"No problem." He was on his phone. "You have a doctor appointment for the 17th, right?"

She leaned forward, taking off her jacket. "Correct." She threw her jacket on the chair across the room and kicked off her shoes.

"I might be able to get that day off."

"It's scheduled for the morning, so you don't have to take the whole day off," she tried, but he was already planning.

"I'll have to talk to Gates. Give her a few days notice." He was ignoring her. She watched him as he looked through his phone. She could actually see his brain working while he talked to himself. A smile pulled at her mouth.

"Kevin?" she asked wondering if he was even aware that she was there.

"Hmm?" He was still looking at his phone. He looked almost as if he was working a case. "Have you been doing those exercises, I mentioned?"

"The breathing exercises?"

"Yes."

"I don't like them."

He frowned. "Why not?"

"I don't think they are working."

He put his phone down and rubbed the back of his neck. "I know, but please keep doing them, they will help."

She gasped and grabbed her stomach when a weird, almost painful sensation occurred.

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked, placing one hand on her shoulder and the other on her stomach.

"Yeah," she sighed, when it passed. "Don't worry. It's nothing to worry about." His hand stayed on her stomach with a concern written all over his face. She found it annoyingly sweet how attentive he was whenever she felt a little discomfort.

He slowly began to rub his hand gently against her stomach. She closed her eyes, because it felt so good.

"Kevin," she said in a whisper.

"What? Is something wrong? Do you not like me rubbing your stomach?" He moved his hand away, but she pulled it back.

"No, I like it."

"Then what's going on?"

His eyes met hers and she decided right then and there that she needed to do the one thing she had been thinking about all night.

She moved forward and pressed her lips against his.

She was kissing him. Why was she kissing him? Kevin pulled her face back. A frown almost immediately worked over her face, making him mirror the expression. "Why did you do that?"

"Because I have wanted to for a while." She stepped closer to him. "I really like you, Kevin."

That didn't make sense. She didn't like him. She hadn't shown it before now. Why now would she be doing this?

"You like me?"

"I really do. I don't know when it exactly it started, but I do. I like you a lot." She put her hand on his cheek and tried to pull him closer, but he stopped her.

"I don't understand."

"What's there to understand? I like you. Don't you like me?"

Of course he liked her. She was smart, easy to talk to and fun to be around. "I do."

A smile pulled at her lips. "So what's the problem?"

"I don't know where this is coming from." What brought this on? He looked down and saw her hand resting on her stomach. Was it because of the baby? Was she doing this because she was hormonal? He had read about that. It certainly made more sense than her suddenly liking and wanting him.

"Alexis," He grabbed her hand. "I don't think this would be a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Because you are pregnant. You might regret this later."

"You think I am only doing this because I'm pregnant?" Her face reddened. Was she embarrassed?

"Hey, you don't have to feel bad. This happens to a lot of women."

She shook her head at him and ripped her hand away. Tears formed in her eyes.

"Don't cry. You don't need to."

"Just stop," she said, getting up and walking away. He sighed. 'Good going, Kev.'

He got up and followed her. He couldn't let her feel this way. It wasn't good for her or the baby.

He stood in front of her, making her face him. "I'm sorry about that, I just think–"

"Well, don't think," she demanded, before pulling him to her by his shirt and kissing him. Not lightly or slowly, but fast and a little rough, as she bit his lip. "Stop thinking." Her lips came back to his and he couldn't think of anything as her hands ran up his chest and wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to her.

He hadn't been kissed like this since, well, he couldn't really remember. Her hands ran down his shirt, but she didn't slow the kiss down, and he couldn't bring himself to do it, either. She grabbed the bottom of his shirt before, pulling it off. He grabbed her waist and pulled her closer to him.

"I want you, Kevin. Not because I am pregnant, but because I want you." She moaned when he began to grind against her. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him back into a heated kiss. His brain had been turned off and his body was in full control of everything.

"Bedroom," she moaned again, when he ran his hands up her shirt.

He quickly moved his hands down to the back of her legs picking her up, she willingly helped, wrapping her legs around his waist. He opened his eyes long enough to see the path to her room.

They made it into her room with ease, he laid her down on the bed, kissing her neck, loving the sounds the she made. She sat up and quickly removed her own shirt. She pulled him to her by the waist of his jeans, working the button and zipper with skillful ease. Part of him felt like this was wrong, but his body disagreed. He quickly found out that his body was running the show. Her hands slowly glided down his boxers, softly rubbing her fingers against him making a gasp of pleasure escape. He grew stiff in her hand.

"Alexis," he breathed against her neck. Her lips found his before she began to stroke him in an agonizingly slow pace. Was she torturing him on purpose? He pulled away from her mouth and removed her hand so he could get undressed.

He saw her smile and he knew he didn't want that face to look any other way. She finished getting undressed and he laid her down, getting on top her. He attacked her neck, not being able to resist the softness and the taste of her skin. She moved against him, digging her nails into his back as she raised her hips against his.

"I want you so bad. Please," she whispered into his ear. He knew he couldn't deny her. Her hips grazed his again.

"Stop begging. It isn't necessary," he groaned against her neck.

The need to was too much. He moved his hands to her waist, pinning her to the mattress. She was still trying to rotate her hips. "Please," she breathed. He claimed her mouth, hoping to distract her long enough to get her body to calm down. Once her hips seemed to relax, he leaned into her. She moaned into the kiss, making it hard for him to concentrate on anything. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer. He didn't resist. The sensation was too mind blowing.

He let go of her hips and moved his hands to her hair, bringing his mouth down on hers. She rotated her hips and he lightly bit her bottom lip. God, she felt so good.

He jerked his hips forward, feeling like he was going to lose himself at any moment and he needed to see her go over the edge first. He was sure she was just as close as he was.

Her breathing and moaning was becoming more and more erratic with each thrust. Her body was so responsive, he wasn't sure how he could hold out anymore.

"Faster," she breathed, pulling him closer. He dug his head into the crook her neck and enthusiastically complied. He was sure she was going to kill him. Pressure built and before he could do anything, he felt her underneath him. Every part of her body clenching onto his as she moaned his name.

Very soon after he was on top of her, completely out of breath.

After their breathing came back down, he carefully got off her. He couldn't get his brain to function. He didn't know what to say or do now. He was finding it hard to think. He just knew that this was wrong. He allowed her to take advantage of him. Allowed her hormones to take control. He knew that this could happen, but he didn't think he'd have to worry about it so soon. He should have been prepared, should have stood his ground, but he didn't.

Instead he took advantage of her when she was in a very vulnerable state of mind. What was he thinking? How could he have been so selfish? He knew he was selfish. She came onto him and he should have told her no, but with the kissing, moaning, and touching, he couldn't resist. He was a sick person.

He needed her to know how sorry he was for acting the way he did. Whether or not she went along with it, she wasn't fully in control. When he looked over at her she was sitting up and bent over touching her stomach.

"What is it? Are you okay?" he asked.

"I don't know." She struggled. "It's just a cramp." Her hands rubbed her stomach. He got up and turned on the light. She moved back, probably trying to cover her naked body. He didn't watch, it felt wrong. Once she was covered up he noticed something on the bed. He moved closer and saw exactly what it was.

His heart nearly stopped. Blood covered the blankets and he knew it was from her. He'd read about this very thing, but wished he would never have to experience it quite so personally. He stood there for second until he heard her groan.

"Alexis."

"What?" she asked, obviously still in pain.

He needed to get her to a hospital immediately. He quickly grabbed his clothes slipping them on, while grabbing her clothes.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Put these on."

"Why?"

"We need to go the hospital." He placed his hand on hers. "Let's go."

"It's not that bad, I think it will pass."

Sadly, he knew that most likely she wouldn't feel okay until they went to the hospital. "No, it won't. We need to go now."

"How do you know it won't pass?"

"Alexis, please, do it for me." He uncovered her. "Please get dressed. Just a check up, for the baby." He lied, but he had to. He didn't want her to be scared, but he needed her to willingly go with him. He was hoping he was wrong assuming the worst, but he needed to get her help.

"I don't want to go." Tears were in her eyes.

"If you are experiencing that much pain, the baby might be feeling it too." He hated lying to her.

"Fine," she sighed. He was thankful she was cooperating now. He helped her get dressed, since she wasn't able to get it done without stopping to rub her stomach. His heart felt like it might explode at any moment, but he had to keep it in. He needed to be strong for her. He stood her up helping her to get her shirt back on."What's that, Kevin?" She pointed to the blanket.

He stopped for a second. "Nothing." He got her shirt on. "It's nothing. Let's go okay?"

"Kevin?"

"Everything is okay," he said, grabbing her shoulder and making her look at him. He needed her to be calm. "It's all okay. We're good, right?"

"Kevin." She kept looking down at the blanket. "Is that–"

"It's nothing." He walked her out of the room, blocking her view of the bed as they walked out.

There it was: the truth, for better or worse. She had actually heard the words. She wasn't sure why her hand was hurting so much; she didn't really care. She couldn't think about that right now. All she could think about was that she was no longer carrying another life inside her.

She didn't know how many people told her what a blessing it was that she was pregnant. Not anymore. Now she would just be the girl who was pregnant. She had just gotten the news and she already felt empty, lifeless.

Hopelessness settled in quickly when her eyes looked down at her stomach, she touched it lightly, but it was different now. Instead of a sensation of calm, she just felt nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Alexis wished she could disappear. She didn't want anyone around her. That wasn't working though, because Castle kept coming by. She regretted giving him a key to her apartment. It was the ninth time he had been there in last week. She wanted him to just go away, but she knew the only way to do that was to kick him out. Every time felt wanted to do it, she stopped herself. Yelling at him wasn't going to make anything better.

Castle hadn't been making her talk, which she appreciated. Instead of talking, he was making her eat three times a day, which was very difficult for someone who almost always felt sick. She only did it without fussing because she didn't want him to start nagging her.

Beckett came with Castle sometimes and Alexis hadn't mind that. Beckett would get a hold of Castle if he had become too much to deal with.

"Sweetie! Your cell is ringing!" Castle called from the kitchen. Alexis was in her room changing clothes. She came out and grabbed her phone.

"Nobody important," she replied before walking away. She saw Castle leaning over and looking at her phone. She sat on the couch and propped her feet up on the coffee table. Castle came in with popcorn and drinks.

"Ready?" He asked.

"Of course." She replied with less enthusiasm than Castle had used. They were having a movie night. Alexis didn't mind, because she didn't have to talk. She just watched the movie until she fell asleep. She knew Castle had used the excuse so he could keep an eye on her, but she couldn't force herself to care. She just went along with whatever he wanted, knowing it would easier than trying to fight him. She was too tired for that.

"Has he tried calling a lot?" Castle asked as the movie started.

"Yes."

"Ever answer?"

"No."

"So what? You guys are never going to talk again?"

"We have nothing to talk about."

"He's going through the same thing you're going through."

"I know."

"Don't you think talking to him might help you?"

"If I did, I would answer his calls." She sighed, "I have nothing to say to him. Can we drop it?" Castle paused the movie. Alexis didn't do or say anything, she just sat there looking at the frozen screen.

"I will drop it, but not until I say this," He grabbed her hand. "He must be hurting and he is trying to reach out to you. If you don't want to talk to him, nobody can force you, but, and this is just a suggestion, I think the decent thing to do is tell him that you don't want to talk to him. Ignoring him is only going to make it seem like you blame him."

"I don't blame him."

"Good. I'm glad to hear that. Just don't string him along. Tell him you don't want to talk anymore. He might not like it, but at least he will know where you two stand. You can even do that over the phone."

The thought of talking to him made her stomach turn. Why would she talk to him? She thought ignoring him would be easier. She had nothing to say to him. She blamed herself, more than anything for what happened. How could she talk to him, tell him that she was the failure? She had destroyed his marriage and now this. She needed to stay away from him. She didn't want to cause anymore trouble in his life.

She sighed. "Sure, I'll call him." She lied. "Can we get back to the movie?"

"Of course." She could tell in his voice that he was smiling. She snuggled closer to him as he hit play.

Like I said at the top, things are going to change for Alexis and Kevin and I hope you all stick around for the crazy ride ahead. Let me know what you guys think!