Notes: All characters are property of J.K.Rowlings, this writing is for my
own enjoyment, and hopefully yours. All Chapter titles and quotes are
taken from "Passionate Love Letters" by Michelle Lovric
Relationships: Snape/OFC, Ron/ Hermoine, Sirius/OFC
*Warning: This chapter contains sexual content between two consenting adults. If this bothers you, please don't read on.
Chapter 6: Protective
"I shall never feel that you have accepted my love in it fullness until you have learned to cry in my arms."
Woodrow Wilson
The scent of whiskey and peat lingered on his smooth skin. Her tongue tasted the salt of his labor as she worked her way from neck to navel. She decided it was high time she returned the favor of their first night together. It had been over a month since then, and their passion grew at each rejoining of their bodies. Tonight she made love to him with her mouth. They sleep for an hour, and when she awoke again his long fingers were teasing her.
"I want to make love to you," his voice rich as soft, worn leather. Gods! How he loved saying those words. Her body responded with little cries and slowly they slipped into the ancient dance.
Back in Gryffindor Tower Harry struggled over his Elvish translations. They had a week to work on it, but as usual quidditch came first, and now he was in a panic to get it done, but he needed help. Ron and Hermione were not to be found. Typical. It was a Friday night after all and there were many nooks and crannies in the castle where two people could find intimate privacy. Sirius had apparated to Kristen's and he hadn't been able to find Ginny either.
"Oh, bloody hell!" He slammed 'Aelgeon's Elvish to English Dictionary' shut. He would just have to go bug Aunt Adhara. It was only eleven; surely she was still up grading papers or doing whatever teachers do on Friday nights.
He left through the fat lady and made his way up and down the stairs to her rooms. He knocked softly, but there was no response. With hesitation, he turned the handle. The door opened and he called out, "Aunt Adhara?" He was only met with silence, but then a faint rustling came from behind the door to her bedroom. He tip toed across the room and heard a woman's cries from behind the other side of the door.
"Severus!" It was Adhara's voice.
"Oh, gods! He's raping her!" Harry whipped out his wand, opened the door and pointing it at the man's naked back, shouting, "Don't move an inch, or I will kill you."
Snape stopped in mid thrust. What in hell?
"Harry?" Adhara's voice answered weekly. Thank the gods we are under the covers!
"GET OFF HER!" He yelled with seething rage.
Severus withdrew from between her legs as Adhara sat up, modestly covering herself, "For Gods sakes! Put your wand down! This is consensual."
The young man froze, wand still pointing at Snape, "He's not…he's not raping you?"
"No!" They both answered simultaneously.
"Now get the BLOODY HELL OUT!" Snape voice was as angry as Harry's, but much deeper and much more menacing.
Harry's arm dropped to his side, his mouth hung agape. Sensing the seriousness of the situation, Adhara struggled to wrap the sheet around her as she rose. "Please wait for me in the study Harry. I think we need to talk." His face white, he shut the door to the bedroom and waited for her.
With her right hand she pushed Severus, muttering curses, back into the covers. "You stay here. I'm going to handle this." She put on her dressing gown, which had earlier been discarded in the floor, and walked into the study, shutting the bedroom door behind her.
"Now you know why you should always knock first." She admonished.
Harry's face was scarlet from embarrassment. His green eyes make a good study of his shoes, "Sorry about that. I knocked on the outside doors, but when no one answered, I let myself in. I heard…I heard you call his name. I though he was hurting you."
Adhara nearly blushed herself at how closely pain and pleasure felt and apparently sounded. "Well I hope you understand that your show of gallantry has been very embarrassing for both me and Severus."
"Severus?" He nearly gagged on his name.
"Harry, I am not asking you to be happy with my choice, or understand, but please accept that I am an adult, and I am free to be with whomever I choose."
"But Professor Snape?" The name was as bitter on his tongue now as ever.
"I know it seems strange, but underneath all his harsh ways, he is a good man, Harry."
Snape was standing in the doorway to the bedroom dressed in black silk pajama bottoms, and a black robe embroidered with the Slytherin crest. His eyes were dancing black flames, perfectly reflecting the dying ambers of the fire. "Adhara, do you mind if I have a word with Mr. Potter? Man to man."
Adhara nodded, patted Harry's shoulder with goodnight and went back into the bedroom.
"Well, Mr. Potter, you once again have one-uped me. The question is now, are you to be trusted?"
"Sir?"
Severus went to a small mahogany cabin and pulled out a bottle of Jameson's and two shot glasses. Placing them on the coffee table, he quickly poured two drinks. "Your 'aunt' has decided she is not ready to reveal our relationship to anyone yet and that includes Sirius." He pushed a full glass towards Harry, "Drink."
Harry wanted to push it away, it probably had versillium in it, but he didn't want Snape to think he was a coward. So he sipped it.
"Take it in one swig, Potter." Lifting his glass to his own lips, he drank it clean. Harry followed his example nearly chocking on the burning fluid.
Snape's laughter was deep and velvety. "Good man. I thought this might help us talk easier." He paused, "I know you despise me, Potter, and you have that right. I know I have been hard on you and your friends while you have been at Hogwarts. I have my reasons, which I will not be explaining tonight."
"That's one way of putting it," Harry sighed.
"Gods you are just like James! Your looks. That bloody cocky attitude."
"I'll take that as a complement," he looked down at the second shot of whiskey that Snape had poured.
"Drink it. You'll need it for what I'm going to tell you next." Harry resented doing what Snape wanted him to, but after all that had happed tonight, he wanted to feel numb. And he was somewhat thankful that the man was giving him whiskey instead of a beating for what he had just done.
Snape studied him. "It's a pity you don't look more like your mother, except for her eyes. She was very kind." Snape's black eyes looked very distant, very hollow as he reflected on the past, "She helped me during a terrible time in my life. I can not say how, it's…personal. But she gave me a great deal of comfort and I was indebted to her."
Harry's eyes widened, "You and my mother?"
He knew what the boy was thinking. "Harry, a man's love isn't always returned. Your mother loved James. The bloody git was never worthy of it, but as Adhara reminds me, no one is every truly worthy of being loved."
"So", Harry thought numbly, "Aunt Adhara loves him; yellow teeth and all."
"She was the reason I left Voldemort. When I learned of his plan to kill your parents, I rushed to Dumbledore. He believed me and we went to find Sirius, whom we thought was their secret keeper. But when we arrived at your house, it had already been destroyed. The scene between Sirius and Peter had just played out when we arrived in London. We were too late to save them. I am sorry."
Harry chest burned with drink and sadness as he pieced together this new information, "Why have you told me this?"
"Because you need to know."
His green eyes turned hard, "Tell me why he killed them."
"I can't, even if I knew or ever did know I can't. There are spaces in my mind that are black, where Voldemort took my memories. Some were bound with spells others lost forever. Adhara is using her old magic to help break some of the hexes, but that knowledge, that memory is gone. However, I am sure Dumbledore has his theories which he will tell you when he is ready."
Harry nodded and returned to a previous thought, "Why did he hex you?"
"He was suspicious of my loyalties. I was not working for Dumbledore then, but the Dark Lord never completely trusted me either."
"Why not?"
With his black eyes hooded by his damp dark hair he replied, "He could smell your mother on me. Did you know that humanity has a smell? That's why it's called the stench of humanity. When you have chosen darkness you can smell love, kindness, empathy. I tried to wash them from my soul, suppress them deep within me, but he could always smell them. I was never pure enough."
"But what about your feelings for Aunt Adhara, those must reek?"
"I haven't seen Voldemort since the night. As far as the curses, I'm not sure the others know what he did to me. That's all I can tell you." His voice was low and troubled.
Adhara reappeared in the doorway, "I think it's time for you to go to bed Harry."
"Alright." He stood on shaky knees. "I can't apologize enough." Harry's green eyes were downcast.
"Just keep our secret, Harry. Don't betray us."
His eyes pierced hers, "I will, Aunt Adhara. I know the consequences of betrayal."
She smiled thoughtfully, "Goodnight." With that, the young man left her rooms.
***
"Severus," She walked to him, hand brushing his cheek, "Come to bed."
"Did you hear?"
"Everything you told Harry."
He placed his hand in her outstretched fingers, "I realize that there is so much I haven't told you."
"Or I you, Severus. When you are ready, I will listen."
Weary eyes turned to hers, and he looked much older than his thirty seven years, "Listen, now."
She nodded and he pulled her into his lap, breathing in the femine intoxication of her hair. "I don't know if you remember, but I played on the Slytherin quidditch team when I was a student. It was my fifth year when I was knocked unconscious for several days by a bludger, and Lily was acting as my nurse. I think she was interested in being a mediwitch in those days. Anyway, she was the one who changed me from my quidditch robes into a hospital gown." He sighed heavily. "She saw where my forearm was badly cut, and beneath that she saw the dark mark. I awoke to find her redressing the wound and tried to push her away, but I was too weak."
Running the back of her knuckles down the side of his smooth face, Adhara whispered, "Show me." He clutched her hand next to his heart and shut his eyes allowing the memory to dance like a shadow before her.
~*~*~*~*~
"Get away!" His voice weakly rasped.
"Severus, I already saw it." Lily's green eyes filled with tears, "You…you tried to cut it out?"
He rolled away from her, her hand still holding his forearm. "No one knows, Lily. Please, gods! No one knows." His free hand covering his face.
"Severus," she stroked his black hair, "Tell Dumbledore. Please!" She was begging him in low whispers. "Please!"
"No! He'd throw me out if he knew."
Her brow tensed, "You didn't want it did you?"
"My father made me. Some people don't have the choice between good and evil. Gods! I am marked for hell!"
"I refuse to believe that, Severus Snape." Her words harsh. "You may not have control over the mark on your arm, but no one can rule your heart."
He looked up at her and Adhara could see the tears that stained his face. For a moment, his dark eyes looked hopeful, then they faded into two black voids.
"Leave me. Please, leave me...I am damned, Lily, damned." His voice was racked with fevered pleas.
Her thumb swept the tears away. He shivered at being touched with such a gentle caress. Only his grandmother had touched him with such concern, such tenderness.
"I will do this. I will keep your secret, but if you ever cut yourself again…I will tell and don't say you'll hex me, because I don't care." Her face was strong and defiant. Adhara admired her, as she was sure Severus had.
"Alright." He was angry at her for making him feel so weak. "I won't cut myself again," the boy mumbled and turned his back to her. "It didn't work anyway."
"Goodnight, Severus. Never stop listening to your heart."
~*~*~*~*~
Her smile faded away and Adhara awoke to find her face streaked with tears. Snape on the other hand had broken down into complete sobs.
"I could have saved her. I could have…I could have… done something!"
Adhara enfolded him in her arms, rocking him back and forth, "There was nothing you could have done. Nothing anyone could do." She wanted him to get it all out. "Dumbledore could have shielded them here, Sirius could have been their secret keeper, but we are only mortal. We make mistakes, so did James and Lily. Her spirit is free now. Let her go." Cradling him to her breast, "Let her go."
For minutes, they were silently entangled in one another, holding on for dear life, like two ships tied together in a storm. Finally, calm engulfed him. His sore muscles relaxed and wrapped in her arms he felt peace.
***
Relationships: Snape/OFC, Ron/ Hermoine, Sirius/OFC
*Warning: This chapter contains sexual content between two consenting adults. If this bothers you, please don't read on.
Chapter 6: Protective
"I shall never feel that you have accepted my love in it fullness until you have learned to cry in my arms."
Woodrow Wilson
The scent of whiskey and peat lingered on his smooth skin. Her tongue tasted the salt of his labor as she worked her way from neck to navel. She decided it was high time she returned the favor of their first night together. It had been over a month since then, and their passion grew at each rejoining of their bodies. Tonight she made love to him with her mouth. They sleep for an hour, and when she awoke again his long fingers were teasing her.
"I want to make love to you," his voice rich as soft, worn leather. Gods! How he loved saying those words. Her body responded with little cries and slowly they slipped into the ancient dance.
Back in Gryffindor Tower Harry struggled over his Elvish translations. They had a week to work on it, but as usual quidditch came first, and now he was in a panic to get it done, but he needed help. Ron and Hermione were not to be found. Typical. It was a Friday night after all and there were many nooks and crannies in the castle where two people could find intimate privacy. Sirius had apparated to Kristen's and he hadn't been able to find Ginny either.
"Oh, bloody hell!" He slammed 'Aelgeon's Elvish to English Dictionary' shut. He would just have to go bug Aunt Adhara. It was only eleven; surely she was still up grading papers or doing whatever teachers do on Friday nights.
He left through the fat lady and made his way up and down the stairs to her rooms. He knocked softly, but there was no response. With hesitation, he turned the handle. The door opened and he called out, "Aunt Adhara?" He was only met with silence, but then a faint rustling came from behind the door to her bedroom. He tip toed across the room and heard a woman's cries from behind the other side of the door.
"Severus!" It was Adhara's voice.
"Oh, gods! He's raping her!" Harry whipped out his wand, opened the door and pointing it at the man's naked back, shouting, "Don't move an inch, or I will kill you."
Snape stopped in mid thrust. What in hell?
"Harry?" Adhara's voice answered weekly. Thank the gods we are under the covers!
"GET OFF HER!" He yelled with seething rage.
Severus withdrew from between her legs as Adhara sat up, modestly covering herself, "For Gods sakes! Put your wand down! This is consensual."
The young man froze, wand still pointing at Snape, "He's not…he's not raping you?"
"No!" They both answered simultaneously.
"Now get the BLOODY HELL OUT!" Snape voice was as angry as Harry's, but much deeper and much more menacing.
Harry's arm dropped to his side, his mouth hung agape. Sensing the seriousness of the situation, Adhara struggled to wrap the sheet around her as she rose. "Please wait for me in the study Harry. I think we need to talk." His face white, he shut the door to the bedroom and waited for her.
With her right hand she pushed Severus, muttering curses, back into the covers. "You stay here. I'm going to handle this." She put on her dressing gown, which had earlier been discarded in the floor, and walked into the study, shutting the bedroom door behind her.
"Now you know why you should always knock first." She admonished.
Harry's face was scarlet from embarrassment. His green eyes make a good study of his shoes, "Sorry about that. I knocked on the outside doors, but when no one answered, I let myself in. I heard…I heard you call his name. I though he was hurting you."
Adhara nearly blushed herself at how closely pain and pleasure felt and apparently sounded. "Well I hope you understand that your show of gallantry has been very embarrassing for both me and Severus."
"Severus?" He nearly gagged on his name.
"Harry, I am not asking you to be happy with my choice, or understand, but please accept that I am an adult, and I am free to be with whomever I choose."
"But Professor Snape?" The name was as bitter on his tongue now as ever.
"I know it seems strange, but underneath all his harsh ways, he is a good man, Harry."
Snape was standing in the doorway to the bedroom dressed in black silk pajama bottoms, and a black robe embroidered with the Slytherin crest. His eyes were dancing black flames, perfectly reflecting the dying ambers of the fire. "Adhara, do you mind if I have a word with Mr. Potter? Man to man."
Adhara nodded, patted Harry's shoulder with goodnight and went back into the bedroom.
"Well, Mr. Potter, you once again have one-uped me. The question is now, are you to be trusted?"
"Sir?"
Severus went to a small mahogany cabin and pulled out a bottle of Jameson's and two shot glasses. Placing them on the coffee table, he quickly poured two drinks. "Your 'aunt' has decided she is not ready to reveal our relationship to anyone yet and that includes Sirius." He pushed a full glass towards Harry, "Drink."
Harry wanted to push it away, it probably had versillium in it, but he didn't want Snape to think he was a coward. So he sipped it.
"Take it in one swig, Potter." Lifting his glass to his own lips, he drank it clean. Harry followed his example nearly chocking on the burning fluid.
Snape's laughter was deep and velvety. "Good man. I thought this might help us talk easier." He paused, "I know you despise me, Potter, and you have that right. I know I have been hard on you and your friends while you have been at Hogwarts. I have my reasons, which I will not be explaining tonight."
"That's one way of putting it," Harry sighed.
"Gods you are just like James! Your looks. That bloody cocky attitude."
"I'll take that as a complement," he looked down at the second shot of whiskey that Snape had poured.
"Drink it. You'll need it for what I'm going to tell you next." Harry resented doing what Snape wanted him to, but after all that had happed tonight, he wanted to feel numb. And he was somewhat thankful that the man was giving him whiskey instead of a beating for what he had just done.
Snape studied him. "It's a pity you don't look more like your mother, except for her eyes. She was very kind." Snape's black eyes looked very distant, very hollow as he reflected on the past, "She helped me during a terrible time in my life. I can not say how, it's…personal. But she gave me a great deal of comfort and I was indebted to her."
Harry's eyes widened, "You and my mother?"
He knew what the boy was thinking. "Harry, a man's love isn't always returned. Your mother loved James. The bloody git was never worthy of it, but as Adhara reminds me, no one is every truly worthy of being loved."
"So", Harry thought numbly, "Aunt Adhara loves him; yellow teeth and all."
"She was the reason I left Voldemort. When I learned of his plan to kill your parents, I rushed to Dumbledore. He believed me and we went to find Sirius, whom we thought was their secret keeper. But when we arrived at your house, it had already been destroyed. The scene between Sirius and Peter had just played out when we arrived in London. We were too late to save them. I am sorry."
Harry chest burned with drink and sadness as he pieced together this new information, "Why have you told me this?"
"Because you need to know."
His green eyes turned hard, "Tell me why he killed them."
"I can't, even if I knew or ever did know I can't. There are spaces in my mind that are black, where Voldemort took my memories. Some were bound with spells others lost forever. Adhara is using her old magic to help break some of the hexes, but that knowledge, that memory is gone. However, I am sure Dumbledore has his theories which he will tell you when he is ready."
Harry nodded and returned to a previous thought, "Why did he hex you?"
"He was suspicious of my loyalties. I was not working for Dumbledore then, but the Dark Lord never completely trusted me either."
"Why not?"
With his black eyes hooded by his damp dark hair he replied, "He could smell your mother on me. Did you know that humanity has a smell? That's why it's called the stench of humanity. When you have chosen darkness you can smell love, kindness, empathy. I tried to wash them from my soul, suppress them deep within me, but he could always smell them. I was never pure enough."
"But what about your feelings for Aunt Adhara, those must reek?"
"I haven't seen Voldemort since the night. As far as the curses, I'm not sure the others know what he did to me. That's all I can tell you." His voice was low and troubled.
Adhara reappeared in the doorway, "I think it's time for you to go to bed Harry."
"Alright." He stood on shaky knees. "I can't apologize enough." Harry's green eyes were downcast.
"Just keep our secret, Harry. Don't betray us."
His eyes pierced hers, "I will, Aunt Adhara. I know the consequences of betrayal."
She smiled thoughtfully, "Goodnight." With that, the young man left her rooms.
***
"Severus," She walked to him, hand brushing his cheek, "Come to bed."
"Did you hear?"
"Everything you told Harry."
He placed his hand in her outstretched fingers, "I realize that there is so much I haven't told you."
"Or I you, Severus. When you are ready, I will listen."
Weary eyes turned to hers, and he looked much older than his thirty seven years, "Listen, now."
She nodded and he pulled her into his lap, breathing in the femine intoxication of her hair. "I don't know if you remember, but I played on the Slytherin quidditch team when I was a student. It was my fifth year when I was knocked unconscious for several days by a bludger, and Lily was acting as my nurse. I think she was interested in being a mediwitch in those days. Anyway, she was the one who changed me from my quidditch robes into a hospital gown." He sighed heavily. "She saw where my forearm was badly cut, and beneath that she saw the dark mark. I awoke to find her redressing the wound and tried to push her away, but I was too weak."
Running the back of her knuckles down the side of his smooth face, Adhara whispered, "Show me." He clutched her hand next to his heart and shut his eyes allowing the memory to dance like a shadow before her.
~*~*~*~*~
"Get away!" His voice weakly rasped.
"Severus, I already saw it." Lily's green eyes filled with tears, "You…you tried to cut it out?"
He rolled away from her, her hand still holding his forearm. "No one knows, Lily. Please, gods! No one knows." His free hand covering his face.
"Severus," she stroked his black hair, "Tell Dumbledore. Please!" She was begging him in low whispers. "Please!"
"No! He'd throw me out if he knew."
Her brow tensed, "You didn't want it did you?"
"My father made me. Some people don't have the choice between good and evil. Gods! I am marked for hell!"
"I refuse to believe that, Severus Snape." Her words harsh. "You may not have control over the mark on your arm, but no one can rule your heart."
He looked up at her and Adhara could see the tears that stained his face. For a moment, his dark eyes looked hopeful, then they faded into two black voids.
"Leave me. Please, leave me...I am damned, Lily, damned." His voice was racked with fevered pleas.
Her thumb swept the tears away. He shivered at being touched with such a gentle caress. Only his grandmother had touched him with such concern, such tenderness.
"I will do this. I will keep your secret, but if you ever cut yourself again…I will tell and don't say you'll hex me, because I don't care." Her face was strong and defiant. Adhara admired her, as she was sure Severus had.
"Alright." He was angry at her for making him feel so weak. "I won't cut myself again," the boy mumbled and turned his back to her. "It didn't work anyway."
"Goodnight, Severus. Never stop listening to your heart."
~*~*~*~*~
Her smile faded away and Adhara awoke to find her face streaked with tears. Snape on the other hand had broken down into complete sobs.
"I could have saved her. I could have…I could have… done something!"
Adhara enfolded him in her arms, rocking him back and forth, "There was nothing you could have done. Nothing anyone could do." She wanted him to get it all out. "Dumbledore could have shielded them here, Sirius could have been their secret keeper, but we are only mortal. We make mistakes, so did James and Lily. Her spirit is free now. Let her go." Cradling him to her breast, "Let her go."
For minutes, they were silently entangled in one another, holding on for dear life, like two ships tied together in a storm. Finally, calm engulfed him. His sore muscles relaxed and wrapped in her arms he felt peace.
***