Chapter 5: Feeling the feelings

Days passed and Harry grew restless. He had been on his best behavior constantly around the clock. It had paid off, the keepers were relaxed around him and they didn't brandish their wands at the first unexpected movement, but it was also very stressful to consider every movement and gesture beforehand. There were fewer keepers caring for him, as he was healthier and calm. Some of the keepers had left to prepare his place in the Romanian Dragon Sanctuary or were negotiating how to move him without alerting any muggles.

Preparations would still take weeks, but Harry felt the time running out. What if Charlie would be ordered to care other dragons too? He didn't want to share his human with anyone! He could imagine some Swedish Short-Snout sticking its overlarge head and demanding Charlie pet it. Or worse, a Chinese Fireball prancing around like a peacock; showing off those scarlet scales they had.

They would try to steal his Charlie, he was sure of it. When they did, they would feel his wrath. Humans weren't a threat, they couldn't steal Charlie from him in the same way another dragon could. But dragons… The fights would be unavoidable if they tried to take his human. He would rip their scales out with his talons, bite their necks until their anguishing screams wade away. They would regret their existence and Harry would just laugh as he drank their deliciously hot blood while their entrails pool out of the wounds he made. It would be so sweet…

Harry violently drew his mind away from bloodshed and mayhem. The more their relationship grew, the more he felt that Charlie belonged to him. And dragons didn't share well; they hoarded and projected their belongings with a jealous rage that no human could truly understand. Harry had enough human in him that he could restrain himself from acting on that rage, but he also understood that a real dragon wouldn't hold back down if it detected even a hint of threat.

"Hello, Mar! I decided to make a surprise visit." Charlie greeted him. Harry blinked his eyes in shock; he had been so distracted by his own thoughts, that he hadn't noticed the man. Harry blew a puff of warm air in Charlie's face as his own greeting. Before this would have caused a hasty retreat on Charlie's part, but now he just laughed.

"Woah, you really should try to wash your teeth mate. Your breath could kill a troll!" Harry pretended to be offended and growled at Charlie. At the same time, he wondered if anyone made dragon-sized breath mints. The wizarding world seemed to have everything available somewhere, so maybe it was possible. Maybe he could order them with owl-post.

"I wish that I knew what you are thinking about. I haven't seen such an expressive dragon before." Charlie lamented. Harry whined softly, he had tried to find a way to speak with Charlie, but it just seemed to be impossible. Lately, he had not even bothered to try. It just seemed so pointless.

Sometimes his lack of motivation scared him. It felt like humanity was slipping through his fingers, and the roar of his inner dragon was becoming louder. Being a dragon seemed to be natural, maybe more natural, than being a human ever was. He just forgot that he should try to find a way to become human again. For the first time in a very long time, he felt happy and comfortable in his life.

He missed his friends less and less. When he heard a funny joke, he no longer wanted to tell it to Ron or Hermione. Instead, he saved his jokes and stories for Charlie. Expect that he could not tell them to him either.

"It would be so amazing if you could talk." Charlie echoed his thoughts and Harry mentally sent his agreement. "Sometimes, I almost believe that you can understand English. Maybe you can, but we humans are just too stupid to understand what dragons are speaking." Charlie continued. He gave Harry a pat and then left to join other keepers to their evening meal, leaving Harry alone with his depressing thoughts.

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"We have to let him fly! Otherwise, his wings may not heal to be strong enough." Charlie was yelling to Leah. His eyes burned with outrage, and the normally calm man was gesturing wildly with his arms.

"I say it's too dangerous. It can fly when we get to the reserve. It's too bothersome to control dragon in the air here." Leah retorted coolly. They had been fighting for a while now. The other dragon keepers had stopped to stare the fight. No one had intervened for now, but they seemed anxious. The keepers were a tight-knit group who lived at their workplace, fights were rare and never a good thing.

"So you would jeopardize Mar's health because you are too lazy? Is that it?" Charlie was almost foaming at the mouth. Harry was keen on being allowed to fly, but he was worried that Charlie would get a heart attack or some sort of seizure soon.

"For God's sake, Charlie! If the dragon can't fly for days at a time anymore, then so what? It's going to a reserve! It doesn't need to fly so much! If it can't fly, well then we don't have to catch it because it can't escape like the others. We can keep an eye on it until it heals and gets used to its new life." Leah yelled back, losing her temper. A thick silence fell down. It seemed that time stopped for a moment. Charlie stared Leah in disgust. She paled as she realized what she had just said.

"Maybe you should leave and go look T how things are going on the reserve then. I think I speak for everyone in this." Charlie hissed. Some of the keepers nodded, their expressions stone cold. They were all here, because of their love of dragons, and now their leader was proposing to hurt one. Harry hissed viciously; keepers were supposed to be on his side, and one of them was trying to deny him the skies. Without use, his wings could heal wrong, crippling him for life. Leah's face contorted in rage and hurt for a moment. Then she turned sharply on the spot and apparated away.

The keepers and Harry stood in the silence, wondering what would happen now. The silence dragged on and on. It was an angry silence, filled with disappointment and betrayal. They couldn't imagine how one of their own could think that way. They had thought that they knew each other, but now they doubted their fellows.

"I'll go get the long chain. Prepare the wards for the flight." Charlie commanded, breaking the silence and leaving. The keepers stared each other for a while before they jerked to action; strengthening the wards around the pen. Harry watched them excitedly; it seemed that he could fly soon.

Soon Charlie was back with a long chain. He tied the other end to the ground with a spell that Harry had never heard before. Then he levitated the other end to Harry and attached it to his collar. Only after he had ensured that the new chain was properly fastened, he detached the shorter chain.

Harry opened his wings immediately and jumped to the air. The beat of his wings raised dust from the ground. Keepers backed away and covered their faces from the wind. He was still weak, and he knew that he couldn't fly for long, so he had to enjoy every second he was in the air. The chain on his neck was heavy and restricting, and for a moment he dreamed about escaping. Soon, though, he abandoned the idea; he didn't have the strength for it, and it would mean leaving Charlie behind.

Instead, a wicked idea sparked to life inside his mind.

He dived towards his target. Just before he hit the ground, he leveled his flight and scooped the certain redhead into his claws. Before the dragon handlers had time to act, he threw Charlie onto his back and rose up. He could feel Charlie scrambling on his back, trying to find something to hold on. His laughter joined the wizard's curses.

Harry thought it was a pretty clever idea to reward his keeper by giving him this gift. He doubted that any other human has flown on the back of a dragon like this. He was disappointed that he could not show all the aerial tricks he knew; the chain wasn't very long. It would also be a bad idea to perform very deep turns; after all, it would be easy to drop Charlie.

If he was unlucky enough to misplace him, it would be hard to catch the keeper when he was forced to stay so close to the ground. Of course, there were plenty of wizards around with wands, so they would probably help - not that he was counting on their help.

Charlie didn't trust the other wizards. On the other hand, he didn't trust Harry either. He could feel how the redhead was stiff as a board and clutching him with all of his might. Harry could taste the fear in the air, even if he didn't see Charlie.

He felt the moment Charlie let go of his apprehension when he started to really trust in Harry and enjoy himself. It was more than just feeling the tension running out of the wizards' body or the ceasing of the cursing. The yell of joy didn't cause the feeling either.

Harry felt his awareness melting to that of Charlie's. Feeling the trust and joy they shared and really understanding each other. They were just at perfect harmony at that moment, enjoying the wind flowing around them and the freedom.

Except, Harry wasn't free. Even if the dragon keepers meant well, he was still a prisoner. He felt the collar suffocating him and the chain pulling him downwards.

The moment broke.

They separated and the word seemed to be a colder place for it. Even the memory of that one perfect moment fades from his memory. Harry descended slowly and landed in his pen. He lowered himself as far as he could, so Charlie could jump down easily. He felt Charlie hesitate, but in the end he climbed down.

"What just- why?" Charlie stammered. He looked so confused and disappointed. Harry turned his gaze to the ground and closed his eyes. He couldn't meet his gaze at the moment. It was too painful.

"What the hell, Charlie! That dragon is crazy! It just took you, you're lucky he didn't drop you. Man, what was it like to fly?" The other keepers swarmed him and Charlie. One of them changed the chains on him and Harry rose up and slunk away from the hustle. He just wanted to sleep and ponder the situation later- much later.

Harry sighed as he lay down to sleep. He should be happy. After all, he was looked after and he wasn't alone. After what he went through with the poacher living with the dragon keepers was wonderful. However, flying had brought back the memories of the forest and the true freedom he had felt in those first weeks as a dragon. It had reminded him, that even if he wasn't tortured anymore, he was still in a cage. It was gilded cage, and the shine from the bars had blinded him for a while. Could he really go on like this? He didn't really know if the reserve would be any better than this pen. He knew that restrictions on dragons were numerous; they were so hard to hide from the muggles.

The last thing he saw before closing his eyes was Charlie standing in the midst of the other keepers. They were so excited and happy, wondering what a mad dragon they had stumbled upon. Then his keeper lifted his gaze and stared at him worriedly.

Betaed by Shyannie