A/N Sorry I haven't been posting much lately, I've been busy. So, I have four other stories, and you should read those too. Here they are: I only need you, Brought back to life, Diary of a Broken soul, and So you think you can dance. Check them out, please. Thanks for the reviews, R/R, enjoy!
When I imagined my life when I was smaller, I thought of going to college, getting an education, and then meeting someone I thought I could marry. I pictured I'd get married, and have maybe two or three kids. I'd watch them grow up, with my wife by my side, and I'd teach them everything I knew about life and what I think makes the world go round. Never once in my thoughts was there the chance that I'd fall in love within a week, and be on my way to meet her child that she had after she was raped.
I guess life is kind of unexpected sometimes. Anyways, on with my life right now, I'm on my way to meet Kyle Cooper. I hear he likes all kinds of sports, which I don't play. He likes to read, and I haven't read a book other than my textbooks in years. He likes to write, and I guess I like to, but I'm not creative. I also hear he's really good at art, which I suck at. He likes the movie, The Corpse Bride, which I've never seen. So we have nothing in common, and I have a confession. I know nothing about kids.
I know they can be a pain, but that's about it. I never really talk to kids. Even when I was a kid, I acted like I was much older than my age. So I don't know how I can relate to a five year old. If he's anything like his mom, then I'm in for one heck of a time, because I'm still trying to figure her out. And if he's like his dad, and from what I've heard about his dad, I don't really know if we're going to get along well. I guess I'll find out, because I'm at the house.
I just stare at the front of it for a while, wondering what the day could hold in store for me. What if Kyle and I don't get along? What does that mean for me and Marissa? Do we break up, or what? And as I sit here, alone, thinking in a car, I realize that I think too much. Way too much.
So I do the most courageous thing I've ever done. I walk towards Marissa's house. And I ring the doorbell. And I wait, for a minute at the most, but it seemed like hours. And I greet Marissa. And I stand there, looking at the child that's next to her. It may not sound like much, but it's like jumping out of a plane. Not like I'm ever going to do that.
"Hey, come in." Marissa said with a smile on her face. The boy, who I assumed to be Kyle, just stood behind her, never looking away from me. He seemed shy and it made me smile. He was cute. He had Marissa's blue eyes and light blonde hair. He also had Marissa's freckles. He, unlike Marissa, wasn't very tall for his age, but I guess that didn't mean he couldn't grow tall when he grew up.
When I'm inside, Marissa looks at the boy, and holds out her hand to him. He takes it, and she says, "Kyle, this is Ryan Atwood, Ryan, this is my son, Kyle." She looks at me, waiting to see my reaction. I don't know what to say though, because I'm awestruck by Kyle. I can't explain the feeling I have right now, but it's not bad.
When I'm finally out of my trance, I say, "Hi, it's nice to meet you Kyle, I've heard so much about you." Kyle doesn't say anything though, just stares at me. We stay like that for a few minutes, until I finally stick out my hand for him to take. I don't know why, but I did.
It must have worked because he puts his hand in mine and shakes it. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Atwood." And it feels weird, his hand in mine. It's so small, compared to mine anyways. Another wave of emotions washes over me, and I gulp.
"Call me Ryan." I say. I smile at the boy, hoping he'll smile back. He doesn't though, and I turn to Marissa. "Do you have anything planned for today?" I ask her. She shakes her head no and I sigh. Then, I get an idea. I turn to Kyle and ask, "Do you like baseball or basketball better?"
He thinks about it for a little while, and then says, "Basketball, because I like the Lakers."
"Basketball, huh?" I ask with a smile. He nods his head and I say, "Wait here." I head to my car and get my basketball that's autographed by Kobe Bryant. As I'm walking back, I see that he's watching my every move. I smile at him and give him the basketball. "Here, it's signed by Kobe Bryant. I'm not much of a Lakers fan."
He gasps as he reaches out for the ball, "I can have it?" he asks, his eyes wide open. I nod and he says, "Cool!" And he runs to Marissa to show her the ball. She looks at me with tears in her eyes and mouths the words, thank you. I smile at her and she turns back to Kyle. "Thanks Ryan." he says, becoming shy again.
"It's no problem." I say. I walk over to Marissa and reach for her hand, holding it in my own. "I was thinking, how about we go to the park today?" Kyle's eyes light up and he starts running around me and Marissa excitedly.
"Can we mom, can we?" He asks. Marissa smiles and nods her head and he goes to get stuff from his room. When he's gone she turns to me.
She leans in and puts her head on my shoulder and I wrap my arms around her. "You're amazing, do you know that?" She asks me, and then looks into my eyes. We just stare at each other for a couple of minutes, liking the comfortable silence between us.
"I wouldn't say amazing." I say. She smiles and leans in and connects our lips in a short, sweet kiss. When she pulls back, I put my forehead against hers and say, "I think that there's something in the Cooper genes that makes me love them at first sight or something." And I don't even realize what I'm saying until it's out of my mouth.
Marissa doesn't say anything, as if she's comprehending the words. Then, as if what I meant struck her, she gasps, and slightly pulls away from me. "I have to go check on Kyle." She says, leaving my arms, making me feel empty.
We go to the park, and I play basketball for a while with Kyle. It's a good thing he's only five and doesn't know a good player from a bad one, because I'm not the most skilled. Marissa kept her distance from us, and I can't figure out if it's because she's giving me alone time with Kyle, or if she's afraid to be near me after our conversation earlier. Either way, she stays away.
Later in the day we headed back to Marissa's house and just hung out, watching TV. Marissa stayed far away from me on the couch, but Kyle didn't. He kept his distance at first, and then, as the afternoon wore on, he began scooting closer to me. It made me smile despite Marissa's odd behavior. At least I had one Cooper on my side.
When it was time for Kyle to go to sleep, he asked if I would tuck him in. How my heart soared when he asked me, getting shy again. I of course, said yes, and Marissa watched from the doorway. When Kyle was asleep, I turned to her, and looked deep into her blue eyes and saw two emotions. Amazement and fear. Fear was winning.
We silently went downstairs to the couch and just sat there, looking at each other. Finally, when I could no longer stand the awkward silence, I asked in barely a whisper, "Did I say something wrong?"
She watched me for a little bit longer, just staring, not speaking. Finally, she drew a breath and started speaking. "You didn't say anything wrong." And she paused, looking away from me. "I'm afraid of love. Deeply, deeply scared of it." I could see tears were making their way down her cheeks, but I didn't try to comfort her, knowing she wouldn't allow me to.
She continued. "I think when you said that earlier, I didn't really think you meant it. But then, I thought, what if you did? What if you did love me? And I couldn't think of why you did, or could." She turned to me and said, "So don't tell me you love me if you don't, because Kyle's involved now, and I already know that he's falling for you."
She starts to get up when I say, "I love you." And never in my life had I meant it as much as I did now. Right here, with her, I wanted to tell her what was on my mind. Everything, I wanted to talk, so I did. "I can't explain why, or how, or when it happened, but it did. And I'm not upset or mad that I am either. Because you're amazing, and you're funny, and smart. You make me laugh, and make me think of things I never thought of before. You make me want to smile and talk, and have fun. And I've never felt this way before-"
But I was cut off by her lips on mine. She kissed me long, and passionately. I ran my hands through her hair, and pushed her down onto the couch, never breaking contact with her. She moaned softly and I'd never heard a better sound. The feeling of her soft lips against mine was amazing, and pure. And I love her, which is amazing.
And as I'm kissing her, I can't help but think about my feelings. I'm in love, me, Ryan Atwood, who vowed never to love anyone ever again, was falling deeper in love with her every single day. It was amazing, and I didn't want to stop it, and I wouldn't. Because I knew that no matter what happened, I would always love Marissa Cooper. And her son too.
After a while, Marissa pulled back, breathless. She looked deep into my soul and smiled. Then, she said the four words I'd been longing to hear since this morning. No, since our first kiss on the ferris wheel a couple of weeks ago. The four words that mean more to me than anything else, the most powerful thing to say.
"I love you too."