"Akira, you need to calm down." Morgana meowed from the windowsill for the umpteenth time. "If you can't calm down, I can't calm down. And if we can't calm down then we're not going to solve anything!"
Oh no. Now it wasn't the time to calm down. Not after he received the most distressed call from Grace he ever had the misfortune to answer.
"Do you mind… if I come over tonight? I don't think I can go anywhere else. I don't think I want to go anywhere else. Please?"
The words still echoed in his mind, a burning memory that refused to disappear, no matter how much he tried to remain calm and collected.
Her voice, plagued with sadness, at the verge of breaking down and disappearing into a bottomless void, paired with the helpless feeling of not being able to do anything about it was the thorn that drove him mad by the second.
"I couldn't do anything else, Mona!" Akira shook his head in anger, his hands curling up in fists "I could only tell her to come. If only… If only I-"
His feline companion hopped onto the bed in one single leap and growled furiously at the now despairing teenager. "Listen here mister, stop this pitiful act in this moment." He arched his back with fury, grabbing the attention of the Thieves Leader. "You're Joker! The mighty leader of the Phantom Thieves! Do you understand what it means to be a leader? It means you can't give into despair, no matter how bad the situation becomes!"
Akira gasped at the sudden words of courage. "Mona, you…"
Morgana leashed out again, interrupting him. "You don't get to despair, pal. The leader is the last bastion against certain and crushing defeat! What would the others think if they saw you like this? You can't do that, it's unthinkable!" He puffed his chest, waving his tail at a rhythmic pace. "That's why, you have to smile, 'till the very end! If you never give up, then the others will follow you. If you never lose hope, then you can be a beacon in the darkness. That's why, Joker, you need to snap out of this!"
How pitiful. How terrible that his feline mentor had to remind him of the most basic truth he had learned during his adventures in the metaverse: The role of leader is the one who takes the whole team into his shoulders.
It wasn't just about being cool, stoic, or unwavering. It was about giving hope.
"You're right." He stood up from his bed, in his face a determined expression. "Grace needs support now, more than ever. And I can't help her if I'm spiraling into despair myself."
Morgana meowed. "That's correct. I'm glad you came to your senses. It would've been bad if I had to scratch that face of yours."
He laughed a little. "Yeah… good thing that we never got there. Anyways, for now, the plan is to greet Grace with all our might, and to help her in whatever way we can. As always."
Yes. That seemed like a good course of action for now. In fact, it sounded better than any other idea he had in the past few hours. Better than pacing around the attic like a madman until the wooden floor gave in. Yep, much better.
He would help Grace, no matter the cost. She already helped him out of the darkness, and now it was his turn to return the favor.
—
"Alright. I've got the special ingredients from the market and I even snatched a little bit of Sojiro's private coffee collection." Akira reviewed one last time if he had everything he needed to make an unforgettable meal. One that would lift the spirits of anyone who tasted it. "As long as I don't screw up the preparation, Grace should return to her normal self in no time."
Or at least he expected her to.
Mona let out a purr with a small hint of sadness. "Aw man. Sometimes I'm really jealous of not being able to eat normal food. If only I had my real body…" He groomed his fur a little bit. "But I won't complain! This is for Lady Grace's sake!"
He nodded. Be it at the kitchen, or stealing someone's heart, the mighty Joker never backed down from danger. Not now, not never.
Suddenly, Mona perked up. "Someone's coming. I'll leave the rest in your hands, Joker." In a single jump, he vanished, with the same flourish as always when Akira needed some privacy.
The door opened in an even more slower fashion than usual and Grace entered the cafe with an awfully slow pace. "Hey…" She waved with what little strength she had left in her. "I'm here."
To say she wasn't ok was an understatement. Her usually proud stance was gone, no trace left of her smug smile, or her eyes so full of life. Her head hung low, her whole figure was trying to occupy the least amount of space possible, like she just wanted to disappear from there.
If Akira had to be blunt, he would have said that the person in front of him wasn't Grace Nam. That 'thing' was just a husk.
But that was going to change. Right now.
With a grand gesture, he waved back to her, in the same fashion one would great a close friend who just got back from a very long trip. "Good Evening, Grace!" He sported the biggest and warmest smile he could muster. "I'm so glad you came. Please, take a seat. For today, leave every bad thought outside of this cafe and just enjoy."
She smiled, or at least tried to. Without answering, she seated on her usual spot on the bar, without even lifting her head.
"Just you wait, Grace. I'll get you out of there." He psyched up, ready to cook for dear life.
Akira repeated what already was part of his muscle memory, but this time he also had to get in some glimpses of the woman sitting at the bar.
Who knew if suddenly she had the urge to just get away from there, from him. From anyone. He was ready to run after her if needed be, but Grace was turning out to be relatively easy to watch over while in that extremely depressed state. A fact he didn't know if it was good or bad.
By some miracle, the young thief managed the finish the fresh batch of curry and brew a premium cup of coffee without much incident.
As always, he served the meal just in front of Grace, but this time, she remained in the same position. Looking at the bar, without even lifting her head to acknowledge the food, or the person in front of her.
It seemed that some extreme measures were needed.
With care, Akira took off his cooking apron, and proceeded to seat beside his older friend. "Just for today, let's change a little." He poured a cup of coffee for himself. "This time I'm not the barista of Cafe LeBlanc. Tonight we're just a pair of friends eating inside a little cafe, in a corner of Jongen-Jaya."
Grace lifted her head at the mention of her friendship with the disheveled teenager at her side. "You… you care for me." Her eyes seemed to recognize the gesture coming from him.
"Why wouldn't I? Isn't that what friends do for each other?" He smiled again. "Now, take my advice as your friend, and please eat your food while it's hot. You know how terrible cold curry and coffee is."
She nodded. Slowly at first, but with increased confidence after a few seconds. She took the spoon coming out of the plate, and after hesitating a couple of times, she ate a bit.
Grace yelled, but Akira didn't even flinched. "Ah crap, it's hot!" She fanned her mouth with her hand. "You did this on purpose!"
"Tell me. Is this enough to make you stop eating curry?"
The raven-haired woman gave him an incredulous look. "No? Why would I? Your curry is excellent, and I can tell by the smell alone that this plate over here is even more delicious than usual."
"But you burnt your mouth, isn't it? Is the pain worth the trouble?" He inquired again, without lifting his gaze from his cup.
Grace frowned, pointing the spoon in his direction. "Of course it is! How old do you think I am, eight? I can wait for it to cool down or I can just blow on it. Why would… I."
She stared at him, her mouth agape by the sudden realization. Her posture, her eyes, her tone, all of her changed. Grace was caught in the conundrum of discerning what gave her the final push to snap out of her miserable state.
She looked at the curry, then at Akira, at the spoon, her cup, Akira again. "That's right… why would I stop doing something I love just because of a little misfortune?" She tried to laugh a little but it was still difficult. "You little rascal."
"I prefer the title 'Handsome Trickster', but rascal is also fine." This time he gave her a smug smile. "Took you long enough, eh?"
Grace wanted to thank him. She wanted to thank him oh so badly, but her voice cracked again. She grabbed the spoon and started to eat in silence, trying to regain the strength she had lost in the ordeal.
"You don't have to thank me. You also don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, but please…have some trust in me." His eyes were kind, his smile soft and comforting. "Don't suffer alone, all right?"
In that moment she cried. Not with a bang like both had hoped in the beginning, but in silence. A few tears fell down her cheeks but nothing more. No sobbing, no blurred words or anxiety attacks. Just silent tears and gritted teeth. And a few spoons of curry in between for good measure and energy replenish.
Crying was exhausting after all.
Some time later, Grace had finished her plate of curry and was currently drinking her third cup of coffee. It was difficult, but after many tears and one or two sobbings, she managed to leave most of her sadness behind.
She wasn't out of the water yet, but her whole being seemed to indicate that she was much, much better than a few hours ago. And she preferred it that way.
"I swear I still don't know how you do it." She hummed with delight whilst sipping the coffee in her cup. "Curry and coffee should not be able to increase in flavor exponentially, and still, it gets tastier the more I eat. Are you sure you're not some kind of reclusive master chef who just happened to live in here?"
Akira laughed. He was happy to see his older companion talkative and ingenious as ever. "Sadly, I'm no master chef. If anything, I've been taught by one." A brief image of Sojiro flashed in his head, giving him a thumbs up for the compliment.
Grace returned the cup to its plate and gently tapped the bar with her fingers. "Well, that's alright with me. I prefer the normal student Akira Kurusu." She took a deep breath and crossed her arms. "So, you wanna hear the rest?"
"The rest of what?"
"The rest of my life. You don't think it just ended with me getting my degree, do you?" Her eyes flashed for a moment.
An unknown feeling crawled through Akira's spine. He had seen those eyes once: in Akihabara, just before he got into a senseless chase over an invisible pursuer. "Go ahead. I'll listen to everything you have to say."
She nodded, accepting his words as an implicit oath of secrecy. "After graduating from the KAIST, I joined the army. Crazy, eh?" Grace awaited a gesture of awe from her younger companion, but all she got was a meager 'uh-huh'. "Not much of a surprise for you, it seems."
Akira shuffled his hair a little. "I wouldn't say that, per se. I'm just accepting the fact that every word you're going to say is going to surprise me. Doesn't matter how minuscule you think it is." A little bit of that wasn't true, of course. He had explored that possibility in the thousands and thousands of imaginary scenarios he ran through his mind about her life. Grace was just taking the role of grading the accuracy of those scenarios. "So I've decided to look surprised later. After you've finished."
"That's actually very helpful. Then let me continue." She fixed her beanie a little. "As I was saying, I joined the army after graduating. It was certainly not the choice many people would have made, but it was the one that I wanted."
"If it was your choice, then I don't see why it should be bad."
"Now I'm getting reassurance from a boy still in highschool. Some adult I am." Her voice had a small hint of sadness in it.
Before she could continue spiraling backwards, Akira refilled her cup. "Does it really matter who gives you assurance?" He almost posed his hand on her shoulder, but he refrained at the last second. "Besides, you're my favourite kind of adult."
"Oh, is that so?" She tilted her head a little bit. "And what kind of adult am I?"
"The kind that helps other people without asking for anything in return." He answered, no hesitation in his voice, no doubt in his eyes. "The kind of adult that hasn't forgotten about others, and doesn't let power or position cloud their senses. The best kind, in my humble opinion."
"Once you've experienced it, you know the types of people in this world, isn't it? The surprises just never stop with you."
"Shouldn't that be my line?"
"Perhaps. And this isn't even the good part of the story."
Akira gulped. Loudly. Somehow he felt the terrible omen that even his wildest theories about Grace were nowhere near the truth.
And she didn't disappoint him. During the next hour or so, Grace told him bit by bit how she entered the army, how once inside, her own athleticism and daring attitude granted her an appointment to be a part of ROK Army Special Warfare Command.
Then she had to blow his mind again when she added the little fact that she eventually got into the 9th Special Force Brigade: The Ghosts.
"Wait, wait, wait. Does this mean…?" Akira tried his best to not sound frightened at all.
"That I know how to fire a gun? Yes, I do. Several kinds, to be precise." She answered like it was the most common thing in the world. A fact that was even funnier, considering how imitation weapons worked inside the metaverse.
"No, I mean, do you actually know how…"
"How to operate explosives? Pretty much. I also understand logistics, army lingo, counter-intelligence and several other skills. Was that the answer you were looking for?" The smile in her face only made his blood run colder.
Akira took a deep breath and then clashed fiercely with her gaze. "I want to ask you: Do you really know how to kill?" The smile in her face faded, leaving only her cold, merciless eyes. "Are you ready to take someone else's life if needed be?"
"Tell me something, Akira. Do you understand how to fight against an enemy who does not fear death?" The raven-haired woman asked, her voice completely calm and devoid of any hesitation.
Suddenly, Akira felt a lethal grip on his right arm. Grace had taken hold of him just when he was concentrated in fighting her cold gaze. The force with which she grasped was too unreal. The tightness fluctuated between immobilizing and outright limb severing. "Can you understand the fact of an enemy so dangerous, so despicable, that its only goal it's not getting out alive of a hostile situation, but rather carry out terrible, horrible acts of savagery and cruelty?" She glared daggers at him.
Did shadows had that kind of thinking? Of the ones he had to fight against in the Metaverse, it never seemed to exist one similar to the monster Grace was talking about. They weren't very interested in carrying out massive acts of evil or anything like that, they just liked to gather in a palace, where human desires were strongest. Because, as long as the human consciousness existed, they would survive, rendering the thought of mortality totally obsolete.
"I don't. I don't understand that feeling." His voice cracked a little at the last part, product of the kind hug his older friend was giving to him.
The moment he had answered the question, Grace released the powerful lock. "Once you understand that feeling, then you can also grasp the concept that the only thing you need to pull a trigger, is to know who has more to lose." After those words, her voice turned back to normal. The gleam of her eyes also returned. "Sorry about the arm, though. I tried to mix in a little bit of physical demonstration but I often forget you're just a teenager."
Akira rubbed his arm with all of his might in an attempt to endure the sudden pain. "Yeah, I don't think I'll ever forget this. Thanks for the kind lesson."
"Pshh, you'll live." She sipped another bit of coffee. "Anyway, as I was telling you. Once inside the 9th Special Forces Brigade I quickly returned to my old ways. The brigade was extremely disciplined. And me? Well, I like to think of myself as someone with a rather unorthodox set of skills. In fact, that's what was written in my report. That alongside: Exemplary tech skills and highly adaptable to situations."
And that was the last bit of information he needed. She was a hacker. Plain and simple. Now it made total sense to him why she was able to fix his phone when no normal tech service could.
"It must be a very interesting report, I bet."
"Oh, and it's not over yet." She toyed with one of her braids. "After some joint exercises, the instructors encouraged me to try my hand at with the 707th Special Mission Battalion: The White Tigers."
Just how many special groups and battalions the South Korean army had? If the trend continued, Grace might end up in the Ultra Super Intergalactic Defense Force.
"Don't tell me. Then you went to the Black Tortoises, and then to the Vermillion Phoenixes and finally to the Azure Dragons?" Those lessons about Japanese mythology finally paid off.
"Oh, how I wish that were the case." She sighed. Apparently the joke was not as funny as he thought it would be. "Sadly, in there I finally crashed against the worst kind of people you can meet in the army. Those who believe that being a soldier mean you owe them unwavering loyalty and absolute obedience."
How familiar those people were to him. Arrogant bastards that refuse to give up their beliefs just for their sake. Using force and fear to impose their rules and punishing those who resisted.
He had another friend who fell victim to those who abused their power now. Seemed like everyone he had a relationship with encountered the same problem.
"You can't escape douchery, it seems. Even at the army."
"It was worse than being a douche." Grace hardened her expression. Her gaze focused in front of her, just as if some invisible enemy had infiltrated the cafe. "Undoubtedly, the White Tigers were a much better match for my skills, but… as long as I clashed with that bastard, my chances of reaching my full potential became null." Akira saw her hands curl up in fists. Her whole figure tensed in response to the hatred emanating from those memories. "As long as I remained in there, he would make my life hell. As long as I refused to break and bend to his will, I was pinned against the wall. What did it matter if I could become a really valuable asset if I wasn't willing to obey every order, even if that meant death?"
"Grace…" His words were cut short once he saw she was relaxing a little bit.
"But then… I saw my chance." Her eyes lighted up with the brightest light he had ever seen. "I heard during training about something really, really special. Something that I wanted to be a part of, no matter the cost. But I knew that as long as that bastard was in charge of the 707th Battalion, then I would never get my chance." She fixed her glasses with the utmost care and then looked at Akira, her face loaded with a smug smile. "But luckily for me, I did what I do best. Thinking outside of the box."
He laughed a little at her remark. For a moment there he forgot that Grace was second to none in resourcefulness. Specially when it meant getting something she wanted. "And that thing you wanted oh so badly was?"
His older companion almost answered the question, but she stopped before any words could leave her mouth. She only sighed a little a gave him a warm look, filled with something akin to kindness mixed with concern. "I can't tell you, Akira. Doing so will only burden you more with things that do not concern you, nor will make you any good." She slowly rose from her seat, taking care of getting her bag. "I know I must sound just like those adults you despise oh so much, but please, believe me. You've already helped me beyond words, and I would be a terrible friend if I were to put such a ridiculous burden on your shoulders. So, let's leave this conversation as it is, and just remember that we are good friends, ok?"
It would be a lie if he said that it didn't hurt. Even a little. But after today, he understood that Grace had very good reasons behind many of her actions. So instead, he just decided to smile again. For her. For his own sake.
"I understand, Grace. You don't need to worry about me thinking less of you." He gave her a thumbs up in his usual fashion. "I told you, didn't I? That you don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to. As long as I know you're okay, then that's all I need. You are okay to go, right?"
She hummed a little. "Yes, now I'm okay. A few hours ago I didn't feel like going anywhere, but now? Now I think I can manage to go back into the world. Once more."
Akira looked at her, perked up and with a smile taking place in her face. She wasn't lying, and that gave him peace of mind, something that he had been lacking for the majority of the day.
"Well then, I'll see you later." He shuffled his hair.
"Yes, of course. We'll be in touch." She opened the door a little bit. "Oh, and Akira?"
"Mhm?"
"Thanks. I don't know what would've happened with me had you not been there."
"Happy to help. We birds of a feather must stick together, right?"
She laughed heartily at the sudden comparison. They really had a lot in common once she thought more about it. "Goodnight Akira."
"Night."
Once the chime rang for the last time in the day, Akira finally collapsed on a nearby seat. The whole situation took a hefty toll on his nerves and body, but it had reached a happy conclusion.
At least that's what he wanted to tell to himself.
The past that Grace talked about brought a whole new flock of questions that would never be answered, she made sure of that. It was better for him to leave those locked in the back of his mind, otherwise, sleeping at night would become nigh impossible.
Besides, who else could brag about having such an interesting friend?
As long as he overlooked the terrible fact that she had zero qualms about killing, that is.