Emma moved from her front door and into her bedroom. She pulled out a shirt from the bottom drawer of the dresser, sighing softly before she pulled it over her head.

She had kept some of Killian's clothes when she sent his things to him. She wore them to sleep, often at first, especially right after she lost the baby, but it became too much. Now she only wore them when she couldn't keep him out of her thoughts.

When she missed him more than she could bear, and tonight she needed the comfort it brought. As pissed as she still was at him for leaving her, for not letting her be with him through the difficult times, she missed him and she still loved him more than she'd ever loved anyone.

Emma crawled into bed, allowing herself to feel everything she'd been trying to forget for years. She wished he was there with her, his strong arms wrapped around her. His bare stump resting comfortably against her stomach.

Emma didn't know what had happened, but she knew she was already forgiving him. She didn't want to just forgive him because it meant she would be in his arms again. The one place she always felt like she was loved for herself, where her past never mattered. But now Killian was here, and she knew she couldn't just run too quickly back into his arms.

After tossing and turning in bed trying to sleep for a while, she gave up and went to sit on the bench by the window in her room. She leaned against the window and pulled out her phone. She paused for a moment before dialing her sister-in-law's phone number, she needed someone with her.

"Emma? Is everything alright, Sweetie?" Mary Margaret asked tiredly. "You left the bar with Killian.. Did he do something?"

Emma took a breath. "I.. I know, no he didn't do anything.. But.. I'm kind of freaking out, M&M.. I don't know what to do." She admitted. "I still love him. But I can't love him.. I can't.."

"Oh, Emma.. It's okay that you still love him. You two went through a lot together.. I know just how much he means to you.." She told her.

"But.. You don't, not really.. And he hurt me so badly.. I can feel myself forgiving him, understanding why he did it.. But I don't feel like I'm ready to do that.. I want him in my arms, to hold me and assure me everything is going to be fine. Like he used to.. But I also can't forget about what happened.. How he just left me." She sighed.

"I know, Sweetie.. Do you want me to come over? I just got Leo back to sleep and David will be fine with him in the morning.."

"I.. You don't have to, M&M.." Emma said softly. She really wanted her there, but was too scared to ask.

"You shouldn't have to be alone, Sweetie.. Don't worry about it, I'll be there soon, Emma. It's all going to be okay." She assured her, already putting her shoes on.

Mary Margaret let herself into Emma's apartment not ten minutes later. She knew where Emma was when she felt overwhelmed. Emma turned to look at her when she opened the bedroom door.

"You didn't have to come, Mary Margaret.. You probably need your sleep.." Emma said softly, tugging the blanket tighter around her shoulders.

Mary Margaret sat next to her, running a hand over her legs gently. "It's no issue, Sweetie. You're family, and you needed someone."

Emma leaned into her arms and sighed softly. "What do I do?"

"Emma, I know you're not going to like this, but.. I don't think you or him ever really stopped dating the other. You've tried going out with the guys we've forced upon you, but I know you've never enjoyed it. You compare them all to Killian, to the man you wished you were on a date with."

"But, I.. I was so hurt when he left. He broke my heart, I thought he was my future and he left me.. And I lost my-" She stopped herself before she could admit the rest of the truth to her.

"I know there's something you haven't told me, Emma.. About your relationship with Killian. And I get it, but I can't really help you unless I know everything." She ran her fingers through Emma's hair gently.

Emma took a deep breath and sighed softly. "Um.. Do you remember a couple weeks after Killian sent the papers, when I um.. I said I was sick?"

Mary Margaret nodded a little. "Yes, were you really sick?" She asked softly, scared of her answer.

"In a way.. Um, the same day I received the divorce papers, was the day I found out I didn't have a stomach bug.. I was pregnant." She said quietly. "I was pregnant and two weeks later I had a miscarriage.." Her voice had grown so quiet she wasn't sure Mary Margaret even heard her.

She pressed a kiss to her hair. "Oh, Emma.. I'm so sorry.. That's probably why you're so confused about all of this. Does he know?"

Emma nodded. "Yes, I told him a couple days after he came to family dinner.. I.. I couldn't see him and not tell him the truth. We had talked about having kids one day, and then.. It happened and he was gone.. Then so was our baby." Silent tears fell down Emma's cheeks as she talked.

"I know you're scared about getting hurt again, but I've never seen you happier than when you were with Killian. Even before you started dating. I think you should give him a chance, at least to be friends." She said softly. "Didn't you leave the bar with him last night?"

"Yes, and we had a good talk.. Which is how I ended up like this." She sighed. "He was honest with me, and he was understanding. And he was Killian, he was the Killian I used to love." She said softly. "The Killian I still love."

Mary Margaret rubbed her back gently. "I could see it earlier tonight how he still loves you, but I know you're just trying to protect your heart. Your brother and I, we just want you to be happy, so even though David might want to punch Killian for hurting you, he would never do anything if he's the man you love."

Emma sighed. "When I saw him at your house, I wanted to simultaneously kiss him and punch him. He showed me pictures of his family, and I.. I told him I'd meet him for coffee soon."

"That's a good start, Sweetie. I think it's going to be good for you to talk with him, and kind of start over, you know? Get to know who he is now, let him know the Emma you are now."

She nodded a little. "Yeah, I.. I think it would be.. I mean, neither of us are the same, but.. But that doesn't mean he's a bad person, or that.. That we couldn't one day get back to where we used to be.. Right?"

"Exactly. Now, let's get some sleep. I'm just going to stay here with you, make sure you get some sleep tonight." Mary Margaret helped Emma up and to bed.

Emma curled up with her sister-in-law. It took her a little while, but she was able to get a few hours of sleep. When she woke up the next morning, she had a blanket over her and could smell coffee.

She padded out of her bedroom into the kitchen where Mary Margaret was making her some breakfast. She smiled a little and kissed her cheek.

"You didn't have to stay and make me breakfast, M&M. You've got your son at home, and David." She shrugged. "But I am glad you stayed."

"Of course, I love my boys, but you needed me too. And you're as much family as they are, Emma." Mary Margaret gave Emma a plate and they sat down to eat.

Emma was still kind of distracted, but she felt a lot better than she had last night when she called. She fiddled with her phone, trying to decide if she should text Killian and ask him to get coffee.

After Mary Margaret left, Emma was left to her own thoughts again. She idly cleaned her apartment to keep herself distracted. When she finished that, she went to work on some of her cases, despite it being her day off, needing the distraction that only work could provide.