Okay, so y'all have realised that Brendan and Ste in 'Safe' are slightly different characters to the show's characters. I have softened Brendan's edges and sharpened Ste's brain (basically corrected bits that kinda/ sorta/ sometimes grate on me on the show). I hope you don't mind the artistic licence but then this is AU. Anything goes...
Hugs,
Chips
{~}
"I honestly couldn't give a flying fuck right now."
Brendan pushed their bodies together and Caden responded by stepping into him and going in for a kiss but Brendan teasingly pulled his head back, out of reach. So Caden tried again with a groan of frustration until Brendan relinquished. The escort dragged Brendan backwards out of the bathroom and into the bedroom; mouths crashing together in a passionate embrace.
Jesus, Brendan thought as the backs of his legs collided with the edge of his bed; their bed.
He felt the weightlessness of falling backwards and landed on his back. Caden fell on top of him and grinned as he straddled Brendan's hips and leaned over to rest against him. The young man whispered,
"So, you want to stay in or go out?"
His eager hands clutched at Brendan's clothes while he used his teeth to tug at the Irishman's earlobe then sucked it before kissing a path over his jaw line and neck.
Was there really a time where I thought the kid was naive and didn't know what he was doing? Brendan thought as his eyes closed. Caden was undeniably sexual and yet there was nothing jaded or vacuous about him. His actions were fresh, enthusiastic and sincere and what Brendan had seen of his personality was solid, determined yet playful.
No wonder Caden claimed 100% satisfaction amongst his clients. Excepting the escort's tantrum earlier, there was something about him that made Brendan want more. Caden was a master at what he did.
Brendan gripped his hips and pushed him off before standing up in one fluid move. Caden looked up at him in confusion as he lay on the bed.
"We didn't have lunch earlier." Brendan said, raising a meaningful eyebrow. He took off his tie and jacket garnering an anticipatory look and smile from the boy.
"Yeah. I mean, no. We didn't." Caden said.
Brendan grinned as he took his shirt, shoes and trousers off. "We were otherwise occupied."
"Yeah." Caden eyed Brendan up as the older man went to his travel bag. "We were busy."
"So now I'm hungry," Brendan said as he grabbed a smart T-shirt. "I've made us a reservation. We're going out."
{~}
Ste loved Liverpool. Its culture, art and history made it a happening place to be; not as vast as London but no less cool. That was only part of why Ste was fond of it. Growing up his mother and step-father would often send him up from Manchester, where they lived, to stay with his grandfather at weekends while they spent some 'much needed 'us' time together'.
He didn't mind. He loved the northern city and he loved his granddad even more. Especially since Grandpa Bobby was totally awesome; a working class man who frowned at his daughter's affected airs and graces since marrying Stuart Hay, an architect, when Ste was ten years old.
The Liverpool his granddad had showed him was very different to the middle class existence he had experienced since his mother's second marriage and polar opposite to the Liverpool he frequented now.
The Liverpool Brendan lived in.
The limousine he was in with the Irishman drew to a stop outside Hotel Indigo, a hotel that Ste had used once as a call out venue for one of his Liverpool based clients.
He ducked his head as he walked past the doorman with Brendan by his side. The shame and fear of being recognised, however unlikely, made him freeze to the spot.
"Coming?" Brendan asked him as they walked past reception.
"Yeah." He said. This is another reason why he hated doing what he did. The shame he felt was ridiculous. He could imagine what people might say or how he would be treated if they knew why he was with Brendan right now.
He composed himself "Uh. Why have we gone from one hotel to another?"
"MPW Steakhouse."
"Huh?" Ste said.
Brendan pointed to a sign above their heads.
"Oh." Ste said.
"Best steak in town."
"Good evening, Mr Brady." The maitre d' said when they walked through the restaurant's doors. "It is a pleasure to see you again. It has been quite a few months since your last visit."
So that is his surname. Brendan Brady. Good to know after having sex twice already. Ste thought.
The head waiter quickly gave Ste the once over as if assessing a bit of crap on the soul of one's shoe.
"That long?" Brendan said. The way he said it made Ste think that Brendan knew exactly how long it had been.
"We heard about what happened. I'm sorry." The maitre d' said sombrely.
Brendan face clouded over. "Yes. Well. Thank you."
He cleared his throat and seemed to look everywhere but at Ste and the maitre d'. Ste wondered what the waiter was referring to. Whatever it was had resulted in Brendan being decidedly on edge.
The awkward silence that ensued was eventually broken when the head waiter said,
"Your table is ready for you and your guest. Please, follow me."
As they were shown to their table Ste whispered,
"You okay?" Brendan looked at him as if for a moment he had forgotten he had company. His eyes looked lost. "Brendan?"
"Yeah." Brendan's voice was gruff and measured. "Yeah."
It was obvious that he wasn't alright but Ste was not surprised that Brendan didn't want to share his personal stuff. He was a stranger that Brendan was paying to have sex with; hardly someone to open up to.
As soon as their bums hit their seats they were introduced to their waiter for the evening.
Brendan ordered a glass of whiskey straight away, his knee jerking under the table.
Ste ordered a, "A coke please. Regular not diet with a slice of lime and no ice. Thanks."
The waiter jotted the specifics, gave them menus and walked away.
Brendan gave Ste a bemused look while the lad carefully placed a napkin on his lap.
"What?" Ste said.
"You teetotal?"
"No." Ste sat back in his chair. "It's just if I start drinking alcohol without eating something first I'll be all over the place and make a right show of myself."
"Right." Brendan grinned.
"Why is that funny?"
"I think I can picture it. You. Tipsy." Brendan said as he picked up his own napkin. "Cute."
"That's because you haven't seen me in action. Trying to sing. Having to carry me back to the hotel because I've gone legless."
"I would never carry you." Brendan said, straight faced. "Don't want to do my back in, do I?"
"Oi! I'm not heavy!" Ste said smiling when he saw the other man crack into a grin.
"I know." Brendan winked.
Fuck. He can't look at me like that in public. It's indecent.
Ste picked up his menu as distraction and buried his face in it, seeing but not assimilating what was written on it.
"That's the wine menu." Brendan said after a moment.
"Yeah. Right." Ste responded feeling flustered as he picked up the a la carte menu, opened it then closed it straight away. Who was he kidding? "Actually, I am not really a steak man so maybe you can pick one for me."
"What?"
"I like it but I don't love it."
"I can't believe I am hearing this."
"It's just I prefer fish." Ste crossed his hands across his lap. "When I was growing up my Granddad used to take me angling not far from here at Calderstones Park and I would help him prepare our catch of the day for supper."
"You fish?"
"Not anymore." Ste cleared his throat, realising that he was leaking personal details for no good reason whatsoever. "Anyway, like I said I like steak so I'll have the-" He looked briefly at the menu "-Ribeye, I guess. Medium-rare."
"I used to fish too."
"Oh." Ste wouldn't have taken the sharply dressed man opposite him as a recreational fisherman. Nice black blazer, white crisp t-shirt. Neat trousers. Smart casual. "Can't see it."
"Yep. Carp. Tench. Perch. Roach. Pike. Bream." Brendan said.
"Now you are just showing off." Ste smiled. "Natural or artificial bait?"
"The little boy in me loved natural."
"Those poor maggots. That's cruel!"
"You were eating your fish! We caught and released." Brendan laughed.
Ste leaned forward, forgetting table etiquette for a moment as his elbows hit the table and he rested his chin on his hands.
He knew that this was just a night out with his john and that this bit of chat was nothing more than a way to fill air. He knew that really in his heart but it still felt organic. He was interested and engaged so he asked,
"So who did you fish with?"
There was a moment's hesitation before Brendan's reply. "My uncle... amongst others."
"It's fun, isn't it?"
Brendan gave him a small smile. "Yes."
Their waiter came with their drinks and took their order.
Brendan said, "I'll have the T-bone with a béarnaise sauce. Tomato salad on the side and he'll have a surf and turf. Ribeye/king prawn. Both steaks medium-rare." He looked at Ste. "Any side? Sauce? Something stronger to drink?"
"Chips. Peppercorn." Ste grinned. "And a glass of Malbec."
"Chips. Peppercorn." Brendan repeated to the waiter. "And make the Malbec a bottle. Two glasses."
The minute they were alone Ste whispered, "This is going to sound really dumb but what's surf and turf?"
"A main course that combines meat and seafood. The king prawns are a nod to the seafood lover in you." He gave Ste a wink.
"Thanks but I'll be bursting at the seams if I eat all that." Ste gasped.
Brendan sat back and smiled. "I can think of a thing or two to help you work it off."
"Oh." Ste took a deep breath in and out. "Yeah."
"Fuck me! Are you blushing?"
"No!" Ste took a gulp of his coke. "Yes. Maybe. Let's move on."
Brendan laughed. "You want to talk more about fishing?"
"Yeah."
"Okay. Shoot."
"I was going to say that nothing has made me feel as free since. Even when the weather was a bit shit, grandpa and me would head out, kitted out and the world was our oyster." He sighed. "Anything was possible. Even a weedy little schoolboy like me making a big catch."
"When was the last time you went?"
Ste crinkled his nose as he thought about it. "Um, six years ago."
"Why did you stop?"
"Grandpa died." It was out before he could stop himself and strangely he didn't feel bad about sharing that information. He shrugged in an effort to minimise the importance his grandfather's passing had had on him.
Some might say it marked the beginning of Ste's slippery slope.
Some might be right.
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine." Ste said dismissively. He sighed. "I would love to pick it up again. Angling. Like if I had the time. Life gets in the way of things like that sometimes, doesn't it?"
{~}
Brendan was quickly reaching the conclusion that going out for a meal was a bad idea. Not because it was going badly but because it was all going well so far. He was feeling immeasurable guilt that he was living his life; moving on.
He had tried to make this as dispassionate as possible. He had paid a man to come out and eat with him, to sleep with him. He had shunned the 'boyfriend' experience. He had tried.
Despite that this felt like a first date and Brendan couldn't tell if the lad's appeal, charm, quirkiness and interest were genuine or just an act. If it was the latter then Caden was a bloody good actor.
Either way it was giving Brendan a headache. His aim when coming to Liverpool had been to get out of his apartment in Chester, talk business with Walker and distract himself from his thoughts by fucking the shit out of the escort.
Simple. Uncomplicated. In the future it would be better to keep their rendezvous strictly 'shag-and-go'.
When their food and wine arrived Brendan ordered another whiskey and poured Ste a glass of the red. They ate in silence for a few minutes as Brendan ruminated. Silver scraped on china and glasses tinkled.
He finally spoke without looking up from his plate,
"We should head back to the hotel after this."
"I thought... you don't want to go out?"
Caden sounded disappointed as he nearly finished off his first glass of wine.
"No."
"Okay." The escort picked up his skewer of huge king prawns. "You're the boss."
Brendan looked up.
"Whatever you want." Caden muttered as he studied his prawns.
Brendan watched as Caden removed one from the skewer then expertly peeled its shell, observed the pink soft flesh, dipped it into the accompanying garlic butter then put it into mouth with a look of ecstasy. He munched away while working on the next one.
And the next...
His lips curled upwards after a moment.
"You want one?" He asked.
"No." Brendan replied.
"You're staring at my prawns like you do."
I was staring at you eating them.
Eejit.
"And get garlic breath like you have?"
"I'm not feeling bad. You ordered them for me." Caden smiled at him boldly.
"Go on then. Let's try one."
Brendan watched Caden go through his prawn preparation ritual. "Okay. You'll have to lean over or else the butter is going to go everywhere."
It was tempting. Garlicky buttery prawn served on a platter of Caden's fingers. With no company Brendan would be all over that like a rash, sucking and licking. But not now. Not in this restaurant. No. He couldn't.
"Well. Well. Well."
Brendan closed his eyes. He could recognise that smooth voice anywhere. He turned to its owner who was, as usual, dressed far too casually for the occasion.
"Walker." He said.
Simon wasn't alone. He had company. Male. Fit. Standard Walker fare.
Walker darted his eyes between Brendan and Caden who was still holding the prawn in his fingers.
He crossed his arms in front of him and said, "This looks cosy."
"What are you doing here?" Brendan asked feeling the hairs on his neck bristle at his business associate's presence.
"Last time I checked this was a restaurant. We've come for a bite to eat." Warren said. "This is Bill, by the way. A... friend of mine."
Fuck buddy, Brendan assumed.
"Bill, this is Brendan, one of my business partners. We go way back."
He directed his piercing blue eyes at Caden causing Brendan's hands to curl up into fists. He was familiar with Walker's predatory stare. The man was a shark in business and play. "I don't believe we have met yet. Simon Walker. And you are?"
His arm was extended waiting for a handshake.
Caden quickly dropped his prawn into his plate, dipped his fingers into the lemon scented water bowel to clean them, dried his hand and took Walker's hand.
The older man pumped it once firmly then held it for a beat longer than necessary before letting go.
"Caden." The escort said. "I'm a business associate of Brendan's."
It was a lie that had no legs. Not with how they had just been caught.
"Sure you are." Walker said disbelievingly as he eyed Caden up shamelessly. "You are the reason Brendan brushed me off earlier. Can't say I blame him."
Brendan cut into Walker's perving, "We were in the middle of our meal, Walker. So if you don't mind..."
He pointed to the door.
"So you work with Brendan, huh?" Walker asked, ignoring the Irishman. "What do you do for him, Caden?"
"Computer graphics mainly." Caden said without a beat.
Brendan's eyes widened in pleasant disbelief.
Attaboy.
"I design websites but I also create software packages."
Walker raised an eyebrow. "Pretty and smart. Don't know where you find them, Bren. These boys. Although this is a bit soon, isn't it? After your last one. There has got to be some etiquette about this sort of thing."
Brendan was struggling to keep his composure.
"Fine. We're off." Walker said, sensing Brendan's anger. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Caden. Take good care of my friend, will you."
"I will." Caden said sounding a little confused.
"I'll see you tomorrow at brunch, Romeo." Walker said as he audaciously slipped his hand into his date's back pocket and gave his butt a squeeze before guiding him to their table.
"He's something, isn't he?" Caden said.
"Yeah. Nice save, by the way, with the computer stuff."
"It wasn't a save exactly. I-, um, never mind." Caden poured himself another glass of wine and downed it. "It's not important."
{~}
Ste noticed that he was a little tipsy when he got into their limo heading back to the hotel because he said,
"I think I will always order surf and turf. It's amazing, Brendan! And do you know why it is called that? I have figured it out. Because the meat comes from the turf, right, and the fish comes from the surf, I mean sea. No wait. I don't get it. But I got it a minute ago."
He knew he was actually drunk when they tumbled into their suite and he kicked off his shoes, fell against Brendan, clutched his stomach and groaned,
"Why did you make me eat and drink so much?"
"I didn't." Brendan tugged him into their room. He was being really non-communicative; something that Ste suspected had something to do with what the maitre d' and Walker had said at the restaurant.
They collapsed onto the bed. Brendan quickly unzipped his trousers and took his cock out. When Ste tried to kiss him Brendan nudged his face away and pushed Ste's head down towards his groin.
"Just suck it."
Ste sobered up at the command as he was faced point blank with Brendan's flaccid cock.
That's it. That felt more like it. More like how he was normally treated by his clients, even the nice ones. Like something to push about and use.
Ste touched it; the organ that had given him pleasure that he had never experienced before. He watched it twitch so he palmed it after spitting into his hand; saw it get harder and thicker. He learnt his lesson from last time. He reached for his satchel and slipped a condom on Brendan's dick to blow him. If Brendan noticed a difference he didn't comment on it. Maybe it was because this time Ste was able to take more of Brendan into him; not all the way but close.
This felt like a one way street of pleasure.
This felt soulless.
This felt like work.
Brendan came and unloaded into his condom while Ste deep-throated him. His hand clutched the back of Ste's head as he grunted hoarsely. He eased off his pressure eventually and Ste pulled off him. He took the condom off Brendan and cleaned him up with some complimentary hotel tissues before resting his head on Brendan's hip.
"Sorry." Brendan whispered so softly that Ste almost didn't hear him. The Irishman wiped his brow.
What are you sorry for? Ste wondered.
The older man pulled Ste up over his toneless, spent body until they shared a hungry kiss.
"I'm a little drunk." Brendan whispered inconsequentially. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I think I am too." Ste said feeling warm inside for some reason. "Actually I know I am. A bit. You don't need to apologise."
Brendan mumbled. "For the record, the combined flavours of condom, lube, garlic, prawns and steak do not go together."
"No."
They kissed some more until Ste relaxed into his arms, still fully clothed and still feeling bloated.
After a moment he had a thought.
"You wanna massage?" Ste looked at Brendan up close. "I mean just a regular one? You seem tense."
"I'm always tense."
"At the restaurant I got the impression you have had more reason to be tense recently-"
Brendan moved away from him to take off his t-shirt then lay on his front.
"I'd love a massage, Caden." He mumbled.
That was as good as being told to shut up and Ste listened. "Okay. One sec."
He jumped off the bed, got a bath towel from the bathroom and gave it to Brendan. The Irishman folded it out and settled over it while Ste took off his jumper then grabbed his iPod from his satchel, docked it and put some music on low volume. He got back onto the bed, dug into his satchel again and took out a vial of scented oil.
Brendan rested his hands under his face and closed his eyes as Ste placed his hands over Brendan's back, with a bit of pressure and whispered, "I have a feeling this will be hard for you but I want you to let go, okay?"
"No chance." Brendan murmured.
"Just try." Ste poured some oil into his own palm and warmed it by rubbing his hands together. "I'm really good at this."
"I don't doubt it."
He ran his hands over Brendan, from the small of his back to the nape of his neck spreading it evenly in symmetrical circles.
"Do you mind if I get on top of you?"
"Knock yourself out."
He straddled Brendan's legs and got to work.
At first his hands concentrated on Brendan's shoulders, "I may have to work on these knots for days."
Brendan grunted as Ste stroked lightly at first and then superficially kneaded the area before going for a deep tissue massage as he worked on the tension. He got a sigh of gratitude when he succeeded at ironing out the knots.
"You like that?"
Brendan nodded his head lazily. "What's that smell?"
"Sandalwood. It's good for nervous tension, anxiety, fatigue, exhaustion, insomnia, depression and guilt."
"Sounds like it gives you wings."
"I could have used lavender but I thought this was a manlier scent." He leaned over to Brendan's ear to whisper, "For a manly man."
Brendan grinned. "And what's the noise?"
"The noise is not noise. It's relaxing music. Now shush. Relax."
Ste shuffled off Brendan.
"Where are you going?"
"It's hard work massaging. I'm getting a sweat on." Ste stripped off down to his underwear. "Plus I'll get oil on my clothes."
Brendan craned round to see a flash of multicoloured snug boxer-briefs and tanned skin. "You don't need an excuse to get your kit off in front of me."
Ste tugged Brendan's trousers, socks and pants off.
"Is getting your client naked part of your standard massage?" Brendan asked teasingly.
Ste ignored the ribbing as he climbed back onto Brendan and poured some more oil into his hands. He then worked it all over Brendan's arms, pressing into his triceps and forearms then fingers, watching and feeling as the older man's tissues became warm and pliable under his touch. Then his back got the same attention.
All was quiet except for the quiet music, gentle breathing and the whisper of hands on skin.
"Fuck. You should open a massage parlour." Brendan said after a while.
"Excuse me?"
"I mean an actual massage parlour. Not some brothel."
"Ta. I guess." Ste said. If only you knew what I can really do with my hands. Where my passion really lies.
"You're welcome." Brendan sighed. "Yeah. Do that bit again."
"You know what. You talk too much." Ste grinned.
He finished Brendan's back and then turned around over him so that he faced Brendan's feet.
Ste started on his toes and worked his way up each leg; up to the cleft that marks the end of the leg and the beginning of the buttock. He felt his thighs slide over Brendan's back as the oil glided between their bodies. He tried to ignore how good it felt.
He concentrated instead on his fingers and palms as they moved over lean muscles, devoid of an overlying layer of fat, the dark hair that covered Brendan's lower limbs and flattened with the liquid, the occasional spasm of tissue in reaction to his touch especially as he approached Brendan's groin. He karate-chopped up and down then gently pushed Brendan's knees apart when he knew that the Irishmen would offer little resistance.
Ste poured oil directly onto the man's globes eliciting a hiss.
"Fuck, that's cold." Brendan said.
"I know." He grinned. "It'll warm up."
He stroked up and down his buttocks pushing them together and pulling them apart; revealing then hiding the man's tight hairy hole. He ran his finger's close to it but got a,
"No chance, kiddo. Not my thing."
"You'd be surprised."
Brendan flipped over, dislodging Ste.
"See." Ste said, pointing at Brendan's erect dick.
"That's because you have been slipping and sliding over me practically naked for the better part of an hour."
Ste smiled. "So what did you think of the massage?"
Brendan shrugged, nonchalantly. "Yeah."
"That's it?" Ste could tell that Brendan was teasing him.
"Well you didn't take your pants off so." He shrugged again.
"That was my standard. I thought you wanted my standard." Ste knelt on the bed and folded his arms across his chest. "I gave you my standard. No extras."
"Take your pants off. I think I can see a semi."
"Are you serious?" Ste looked down at his pants. Yep. He was rocking a semi. "You want me to take them off?"
"Yes." Brendan grinned. "Jesus. Is it always going to be a surprise that nudity might be on the agenda?"
Ste slowly took his pants off, his body smeared with oil that had been intended for the Irishman.
"Ten out of ten that massage." Brendan said with a grin as he reached for the lad's hand. "But I think we can go for an eleven."
{~}
Brendan's mobile phone woke him up but it took a moment for him to orientate himself; the unfamiliar bed, the smell of sex, the man snoring softly by his side. Then gradually he remembered where he was and with whom.
When he looked at who was calling him, his heart sank. He knew the purpose of this call.
"Hey sis." He whispered as he looked through the curtains. Dawn.
"Heya love."
His younger sister, Cheryl, worked in Hollyoaks and lived in one of his apartments in the village free of charge.
He had taken advantage of her visiting family back in Ireland to stay in Hollyoaks and get away to get away from his apartment in Chester the Friday he called Caden for the first time.
He couldn't understand her fascination with that village. It struck Brendan as the kind of place where everyone lived in each other's pockets and where gossip became fact very quickly. It also had an obscenely high homicide rate that Brendan had used as a reason time and time again to persuade his sister to leave.
"I'm fine before you ask." He said.
Caden moved in his sleep then started snoring softly again so Brendan moved into the bathroom.
"Glad to hear it." She said. "But that is not totally why I am calling."
"No?"
"Did you hang out at the apartment in Hollyoaks when I was gone?"
"Yeah." For a second he panicked. He wasn't about to walk into an awkward conversation with his sister about his use of escorts, was he? He had used his own computer tablet to search online and not her laptop hadn't he?
He was sure he had.
"Thought so." She sighed. "You're still finding it difficult to live in that apartment in Chester, aren't you?"
"It's fine." He lied.
"Where are you now then?"
"At home."
"You're not answering your home phone."
"Fine. I'm in Liverpool." He said. "On business. Are you stalking me?"
"No. I just want to make sure you are alright. You know I am here if you need. You don't need to run away."
"I'm not."
"You haven't hit the bottle have you?"
"I'm not dad. I had a few drinks yesterday. I'm not getting shitfaced every night if that's what you mean."
"And you haven't been sleeping around."
"Fuck's sake, Chez!"
"Have you?"
"Course I haven't."
I've just broken a sexual draught with a bang with a guy I paid, if you must know. Had to happen.
I am a bad person.
"No course you haven't, love. Sorry. It's just that they used to be your two go-to coping mechanisms." Cheryl said.
Brendan watched Caden stir in the bed and then stretch out from where he stood next to the bathroom door.
The escort suddenly sat up rod straight in confusion, his hair pointing in all directions. He looked at Brendan while rubbing his eyes and gave him a sleepy smile.
"Hey." He muttered.
Brendan raised a hand in greeting then closed the door, shutting himself in the bathroom and whispered into his phone,
"Look sis. I've got to go. Don't worry about me. I promise me that there is no sex, drugs or rock and roll involved. I'm coping just fine. Bye."
He put the phone down and walked back into the room to Caden.