*FLASHBACK*
So I poke this girl in my art class that I'm friends with. She warns me that if I do it, she's going to hit me in the face.
I go for it.
She throws a hard one. As soon as I feel it, BAM! Insta-boner. (I can't explain why it turns me on though)
So I have this raging hard on hidden underneath the table jutting straight out of my sweatpants. She warns she'll do it again.
I go for it.
She hits me again. I feel a little pre baby gravy. I'm enjoying it a lot. I try again.
"Why do you keep poking me?"
I freeze. I don't have an answer for that.
"Are you getting off to me hitting you?"
I stammer out a single "no!" And she looks at me disgusted.
"Stand up."
I shake my head, she tells my other friend, a guy, to hit me if I don't do it. He wouldn't do it anyway, but I really didn't want him to ruin my perfect boner.
I stand up with the most obvious erection possible. She laughs and tells me to sit back down.
I was embarrassed, but I don't care anymore, I got what I wanted. I feel like the weirdest person on Earth. Best fap of my life that night.
*FLASH BACK FINISHED*
I turned on my heel and ran wailing from the store like a fucking banshee. But I didn't care. I just wanted to be away from her and out of that abusive relationship. She used to tie me down to the lawnmower and feed me viagra while my dog would carelessly hump my hot body. *faaaap* NO! You can't do this anymore Rose! *faaaap* ROSE! DUDE, JUST STOP. It's Lent and y'all gotta give something up! *faaaap* Oh what the hell! It's the wee hours of the morning outside Centra. Who the hell would see me?
"Rosemary?" I whipped around. Shit, I was caught white handed. And to make shit worse - it was me Religion teacher.
*FLASH BACK*
My friend's aunt had just passed and she was inconsolable. As she's literally crying on my shoulder, I got what I can only describe as a "grief boner"- an unstoppable force triggered by the back of my brain saying "Y'know what would cheer this girl up in her time of dire tragedy? Your penis!"
And yes, she noticed. As soon as she noticed, she NOPE'd the fuck out of there with grace, telling me that she'd have to notify more of the family. I offered my help, not picking up that she'd noticed things, but she adamantly refused.
FML.
*FLASH BACK FINISHED*
"Ummm, I ain't no Rosemary no I ain't. I is trailer trash" I mentally cursed my brain for being such a fucking retard for lying. My teacher just stared at me strangely. Why the fuck did I try and be cool and continue? I raised my hand to wave but forgot that I was holding a deathgrip on my magic muffin.
Time slowed.
My teacher stared at me in utter bamboozlement.
I had just squirted the cum of 1000 sons at her.