Chapter 6: Bonus Chapter! Who Framed Rhoda Rabbit
Author's Note: This idea is brought to you by AnonymousZGirl.
The detective grumpily settled down on a table not far from Martha Acme. Of all the crazy tasks that she had to be assigned to, she had to be tied to a case involving an affair between a tooniphile and a toon.
All because of a CEO getting worried about her A-list toon star's performance. Who believes in ToonTown Tabloids anway?
"Edna Valiant!"
Edna turned to see Bertie Boop, a dashing toon star of the 1920s.
"Bertie? What are you doing here?"
Bertie adjusted his waiter's jacket, "Business has been kind of slow since cartoons went to color," he gave her a wink and his trademark Bertie Boop Flex, "But I still got it, Edna."
Edna smiled back, "Yeah, you still got it."
Majority of the female patrons screamed making her jump. In a semi-stampede, they rushed near the stage. On the front seats, Martha excitedly patted her hair and checked her make-up.
Edna gave Bertie a perplexed look while she jerked her head at Martha, "What's with her?"
Bertie fixed his tray on his hand, "Ms. Acme never misses a night when Jesse performs."
Edna's face became satiric as she leaned on her backrest with her arms folded.
"She has a thing for rabbits, huh?"
Silence hushed as a lone spotlight shined center stage. A clear masculine voice sang out.
"You have plenty suitors before you were twenty-two."
The curtains opened and Edna's mouth dropped in surprise, her body reacting at the sight before her.
"But they all fall short or made a fool out of you."
A tall, elegant toon of a man in a red tuxedo stood alone in the center. Ginger hair brushed over one emerald eye as he looks at the audience with an intensity that could burn through paper.
"Let me do you right, unlike the way that they do."
The women trilled, others have long swooned. A band of doves played a viscous jazz behind him, a lethargic background under the hypnotized air.
"Come over here,"
One woman reached up a hand to him but her knees gave way when he turned to look at her.
"Let me show it to you."
Edna slowly leaned to Bertie, not believing her own eyes. This was the husband of the bimbo bunny who kept hitting herself awhile ago?
"He's married to Rhoda Rabbit?" she whispered just in case there had been a mistake somewhere. The rabbit must have decided to keep her last name.
Bertie's eyes turned dreamy at the rabbit's name. "Yeah, what a lucky goi."
He gently tapped Edna's chin to prevent flies from entering her mouth before walking away.
Jesse walked towards the audience, a king amongst lionesses –or a meat among she-wolves. The hunger in the women's eyes were a blur of both slave and master.
"Now if you have your wits those years ago,"
He knelt down to another woman who stared at him, enthralled. Jesse tipped her chin up as he smiled coolly at her.
"You wouldn't be wond'ring 'bout your tears and woes."
He sang as he left her to slump on her seat in a dazed manner.
"Let me do you right,
Unlike the way that they do."
Jesse stopped at the edge of the stage, looking down at Edna and Martha. He smoothly climbed down from the stage and took Martha's hand who have flirtatiously held it out to him.
"Come over here,"
He gave her a look that made her sigh before he kissed her hand.
"And let me show it to you."
He looked at Edna who stared back in surprise.
"Come over here,
And let me show it to you."
Before Edna could realize what's happening, Jesse had grabbed the backrest of her chair and tipped her backwards. She gasped in surprise as she found herself caged by his arm and emerald eyes.
"Let me do you right-"
Somewhere in the background, a woman moaned.
"Unlike the way that they…"
He leaned closer and for all of her reflexes, Edna's mind became blank.
"Do…"
He slowly leaned her upright again as he backed away, leaving Edna feel like she had ran for miles.
The detective silently peeped over the band instruments piled in a corner. A woman in a luxurious fur coat primped at her hair before knocking delicately at the door with a gilded star on it.
"Who is it?" the rabbit's husband said from behind it.
"Jesse, darling, it's me!" Martha Acme gushed, who seemed to pose as soon as the door opened.
"You sure slayed them tonight, honey. You were incredulous, I mean it!"
Edna crept silently towards the door as soon as it closed. Acme continued to speak.
"You were truly and absolutely the cat's meow out there. You got them-"
She placed her ear closely to the door. Seeing the keyhole, she took a peep.
"-all fired up and wanting more. You whipped them into-"
Someone growled and Edna felt herself being tapped on the shoulder. Hard.
"What are you doing here, ugly?" an unwieldy gorilla bouncer snarled, her dinnerjacket threatening to burst from the seams.
Edna craned her neck to scowl all the way to her face. "Who are you calling ugly, hag-ly?"
Which might not have been the wisest decision in her part.
She momentarily reflected on her actions as she lay facedown on the trash outside the Ink-and-Paint Club.
"And don't let me catch you peepin' around here again!" the gorilla roared before slamming the door close.
She got up, cursing the menopausal butch of a gorilla under her breath. Using her acrobatic skills, she hanged herself upside-down outside Jesse's dressing room window.
"Come over here, Jesse. Come over here." Martha's voice was soft. "I got everything arranged right here on the bed."
Jesse's voice sounded tired. "Not tonight, Martha. I have a headache."
Martha's voice seemed to pout. "But Jesse, you promised!"
There was a sigh. "Oh alright. But this time, take off the hand buzzer."
Edna angled her camera to the window, careful not to be seen. She took a shot.
"Patty-cake… Patty-cake… Patty-cake, patty-cake-"
"Oh Martha."
"-patty-cake, patty-cake, patty-cake-"
"Oh Martha!"
Her eyes widened in shock when she saw what's happening inside. Martha's excited voice rang out.
"Pattycakepattycakepattycake-"
"Martha!"
"I don't believe this," Edna muttered as she takes picture after picture of the bawdy scene.
XOXOXOXOXOX
"Patty-cake! Patty-cake!" Rhoda Rabbit bawled miserably as she pounded the window where Acme Factory could be seen across the road.
She dropped down and slumped on Maroon's table, "This is my entire fault! I let this happen!"
Mrs. Maroon rubbed her back sympathetically, giving her own napkin. Edna watched them apathetically. It was amazing how Maroon could revert from a shrewd CEO who convinced her to accept the job to a compassionate pro-toon Mother Goose.
There are women who still look beautiful in distress. Rhoda Rabbit was not one of them.
Snot and tears glistened down her face as her shoulders racked with sobs. Rhoda blew her nose with the same pitch as that of an elephant.
"I-I should have seen it coming! He'd been coming home late at night! I'd wake up and he wouldn't be there! I should have -hic! I should have -hic! I should have-"
She suddenly made a sound of a dying animal, pounding her yellow-gloved fists on the table.
Edna gaped at her as though she was a dying animal. Mrs. Maroon gingerly took away her soiled napkin and threw it in the trash.
The rabbit shakily lifted herself from the table, her arms quivering with tremendous effort, "I c-can't believe it! My Jesse isn't like that! He isn't so!"
Edna rolled her eyes. Toons, she thought.
"You better believe it, girl. I took the pictures myself," she held out the photos to the rabbit who looked at her like a baby seal about to be clubbed, "Your husband played patty-cake."
Rhoda desperately held the photos closed to widened eyes; looking for a trick of light, an illusion, anything! Her head whipped from side-to-side as she flipped through them like an animatronic, her ears swishing in a blur.
"No. No. No. No! No! No! No! No! No! NO! It can't be! Jesse's my husband! It's just absolutely impossible!"
She threw away the photos as she collapsed on her knees, the scandalous pictures falling around her.
"I can't believe it! I don't want to believe it!" she said, clutching herself as she rocked back and forth, "Jesse's the man of my life, the prince of my story, the knight of my chess pieces!"
It hurt Edna not to roll her eyes. There are two things she couldn't stand: toons and emotional women. Right now, this rabbit was both. She took a shot of Scotch to make her tolerate the situation.
"Well, you better start playing without one 'cause Acme got that piece now."
"It's so hard to believe it," Maroon said sympathetically, as she guided a limp Rhoda off the floor into her office chair, "Martha has been my friend and neighbour for 30 years. Who would have thought she's a couger?"
"Jesse wouldn't do this to me," Rhoda wailed weakly, her lips trembling, "Did I push him to do this? Have I been focusing too much on my career? Have I been letting myself go? Is there something wrong with me?"
Edna bit down a remark that would not end the conversation well. Instead, she just scooped away the offending photos.
Women, she thought.
Maroon soothingly rubbed her back, "Oh no, sweetie! Don't blame yourself! That Jesse is a cad! You've got no one to blame but him!"
Rhoda looked down, her eyes hollow, "Jesse isn't a cad."
Then what kind of a husband flirts to make a living among other things? Edna thought, taking another shot. At least Maroon got alcohol in her office.
"Oh, dearie. I know this is painful for you," Maroon took the Scotch out of Edna's hands and poured a shot.
"Here, girl, take this. It will make you feel better."
Rhoda blearily grabbed the shot glass and drank it straight.
The glass fell from slacked fingers. Her arms droop limply to her sides as she stood still, her head bowed.
Edna pauses in mid-drink. Alcohol always, ALWAYS have an paroxysmic effect on toons. Edna swore in surprise when Maroon suddenly grabbed her and ducked for cover.
Silence. A sob.
Then a high-pitched scream of rage rang peeped over their hiding place. Still screaming, steam gushed out of the rabbit's ears. Her eyes shone blood-red, fire bursting from her body as she clenched her fist and bought it down in a fury of explosion.
The detective yelled in shock as dust and debris flew everywhere. Edna crouched still in their hiding place, her heart pounding. It was World War 2 again when a bombshell landed too close for comfort.
When the dust settled down, both Edna and Maroon carefully stood up to see a pile of ash where the office table used to be. The rabbit stood there panting with one smoking fist dangling uselessly on her side.
Then without warning, she collapsed out cold on the ground.
"Son of a…" Edna said, a bit breathless. Talk about a woman on her period, scorned and toony to boot.
Maroon came to Rhoda's aid, dragging her by the rabbit ears away from the disaster area, "I do apologize for this, Ms. Valiant. But Rhoda needs to let it all out."
Edna shrugged it off. She had worked with toons before.
"My job here is done. What about that carrot you owed me?"
Maroon gave her a check, "A deal's a deal," she said primly.
There was a groan and they both looked at the prone rabbit.
"Oooohh… Hangover," she moaned, holding her head as she sat up.
Rhoda sniffed, putting her face to her hands. Edna couldn't decide if she look like an abandoned puppy or the worst example of the jilted lover.
"You okay, dear?" Maroon asked, putting a hand on her shoulder. The rabbit shook her head.
"What am I going to do?" she whimpered, her eyes watering again.
Edna paused in patting her check inside her pocket.
"What are you going to do? Are you serious?" she asked incredulously.
Rhoda weakly looked up to her but then cried in surprise as the pictures slapped her across the face.
"Pull yourself together, you crazy toon!" Edna yelled, whacking her with each word.
Rhoda looked at her in shock and Edna glared at her.
"You're not the first woman whose husband cheated on her and the heck will you even be the last!"
Edna pointed a finger at her.
"You'd do what every woman who has hired me would do when I caught their men with their pants down! You're going to confront him, kick him out of the house, destroy his belongings and slap him with a divorce! You'd get over him and life goes on 'cause this ain't a cartoon!"
Maroon tried to placate her, "Ms. Valiant, I think that's a bit too early to tell her tha-"
"You're right."
Maroon looked at her with surprise.
"I should move on," Rhoda said, more to herself, "I can do this," she straightened up, "It's time to face facts, cut ties, break clean. I –I don't matter to him anymore. I'm a hard hare, I can do this."
"I mean, I'd probably never love again. I'd probably become a crazy cat lady –a crazy rabbit lady, a crazy lady rabbit cat, a rabbit cat lady crazy, a-" She shook her head.
Then her eyes cleared, "Why am I the one acting like I suffered a loss? He's the one who cheated on me! I don't deserve him! And you know what?"
She pumped her fist determinedly, her fluffy cottontail poofing up with a fight; "He made his decision when he played patty-cake and it's time I make mine!"
She slammed the door as she left the room.
A few seconds later, they suddenly heard someone wailing miserably outside the door.
Edna gave the door a withering stare, "That's her decision?"
Maroon gave a once-over at what remained of the table, "At least she took it well."
XOXOXOXOXOX
"I was going to confront him so I ran to the INK-" Edna leaped at her like a cat and Rhoda jumped up, covering herself modestly when Edna flew by underneath, "-and Paint Club! But he wasn't there so I wrote him a let-you-go letter!"
Edna climbed up into a sitting position, panting and certain that someone above had a sadistic sense of humour –most especially aimed at her.
"Wait a minute. Are you telling me in a fit of righteous anger, you're just letting him go?"
Rhoda nodded from the bed, "That's right! I'm leaving him. I'm leaving him the house, the car, the-"
Edna slapped a hand over her eyes. Which saint did she annoy up there again?
XOXOXOXOXOX
"Drink the drink!"
"She doesn't want the drink!" Lady Doom said impatiently.
Edna raised a brow, "You don't?"
"I do!"
The Lady Judge watched them banter back and forth. She was about to dunk the doe headfirst to end the shenanigans when Rhoda spoke out indignantly.
"Listen, when I say yes, that means yes!"
She grabbed the drink from Edna's hand and drank it in one gulp.
Rhoda threw the glass away and hanged limp in Doomie's grip. Her head bowed, covering her eyes with her ginger bangs.
Satisfied that it was over, Lady Doom lifted her up. But then a soft lethal voice spoke out from the flaccid rabbit.
"Edna, back off a little. I can't see straight."
Like greased lightning, Rhoda was suddenly out of Doomie's fist. Eyes blazing with fire, she let out a warcry as she brought her fist down on the wooden boards between her and the Judge.
Tremors exploded on the ground making everyone fall to their butts. Lady Doom stumbled backward over the factory girls. She could see Edna take advantage of the diversion by beating out the Weaselettes.
Edna threw the Weaselette ringleader over her shoulder. Rhoda teetered dangerously to the jagged hole she had made but Edna grabbed her before she can collapse.
"Gotcha!"
The Judge gripped the handle of her long black umbrella. Swishing her long black coatdress, she leapt over the gaping crack on the bar.
Slinging the passed-out rabbit on her shoulder, Edna ran off, dumping the Dip towards Lady Doom.
XOXOXOXOXOX
Of all the places to hide, Brenda the Cab took them in a movie theatre. Toons.
"What's the matter with you? You're supposed to be hiding!" Edna snapped, flicking Rhoda on the forehead.
"Ow!" the rabbit exclaimed then looked at her in confusion, "What's wrong with you? You're the only person in this theatre who looks like they found a rock in their Scotch. Is there nothing that than penetrate your granite grumpiness? Hey Edna!"
She suddenly ballooned up her cheeks and presses it with both fists to make a farting sound with a cock-eyed expression.
"Geez, nothing," Rhoda said thoughtfully when Edna simply rolled her eyes, "What could have possibly happened to have turned you into such a grouchy grandma?"
Edna's mouth opened indignantly to tell her she wasn't that old but thought better of it.
"You really want to know?"
Rhoda nodded with large curious eyes.
"A toon killed my sister."
The rabbit covered her eyes in dismay, "A toon? No."
Edna sighed as she shuffled in her seat, "That's right, a toon."
"We were investigating a robbery at the First International Bank in ToonTown."
The detective stoically looked ahead, "Back in those days, Terry and I like working in ToonTown. Thought it was a bundle of laughs. Anyway, this toon," Edna took out her flask of wine, "Got away with a zillion smiley-eons," she shook her head as she gave a humorless laugh.
"We trailed that toon to a little dive down Yuckster Street. We went in," she said tonelessly, "Only she got the bomb on us –literally. Toss a bundle of dynamite at us. Gave me burns. Terry never made it. I never found out who that toon was."
The more time that passes, the duller the pain. But Edna knew it will always be there.
"All I remember was, she was standing in front of me laughing with that burning red eyes and that deep gutteral voice. She disappeared into ToonTown after that."
Edna looked beside her in surprise when she heard someone bawling, plus the sudden spray of wetness on her sleeve.
Tears rained down from Rhoda who was using both of her ears as hankies, "No wonder you don't like me! If a toon killed my sister, I'd hate myself too!"
Edna rolled her eyes at her logic, "I don't hate you."
"You do!"
"C'mon!"
"You do hate me! Or you wouldn't have yelled at my ears all those times!" she cried, tugging her own ears.
Oh, right. Rabbits have more sensitive hearing, even toon ones.
"Well, I'm sorry I yelled at your ears."
Rhoda looked at her with sparkly, hopeful eyes.
"All those times you yelled at me?"
Edna looked away with amused exasperation for a moment before turning back at her.
"All those times I yelled at you."
"Aaaawww…." Rhoda exclaimed, touched. Then she spread her arms wide with a leap in her direction, "Friendship hug!"
"No," Edna said flatly, stopping Rhoda by holding her on the face without as much as a glance in her direction. With her face mashed on Edna's palm, Rhoda missed the ghost of smile on Edna's face.
XOXOXOXOXOX
Someone's seems to be on a Diet of Delusions of Grandeur, Jesse thought, watching this madwoman talk about freeways and billboards and visions.
CRASH!
Something heavy crashed down through the ceiling. In the midst of the showering debris, Rhoda dropped down from the sky before glaring up at them with fire in her blue eyes.
"Alright, Weaselettes! Let those guns go or let the judge have it! You heard me! I said drop it!"
Her name escaped his lips before Jesse could stop himself.
"Rhoda!" he exclaimed, relief and joy heard by every toon and human inside the Acme factory.
Blue eyes swiveled at him with a dangerous heat he never saw in her before.
"You."
She stalked towards him and with surprising force, Jesse found himself yanked down to her level by his black tie. Blue eyes sparked at him with all the fire of a burning pagan sacrifice.
"I would love to deal with you right now. But first-" she swung her gun at the weasels as they advance at her, "I have to satisfy my sense of moral outrage!"
Rhoda is mad. Rhoda has a gun. But Jesse was too used to the unquestionable logic of love to think it's somehow strange to see how beautiful his angry wife can be with a weapon. She even has that cute angry pout.
Lady Doom towered her, "Put the gun down, you harebrained ditz!"
The rabbit pointed her gun at her and the judge backed away.
"Go on, Doomie! Give me another reason to punch you full of lead! You thought you can have your cake and eat it too, didn't you? Ha!"
She was sick of humans treating toons like they're pawns in their games for money and power. This "Judge" for toons is no different. Rhoda continued to advance to her, pointing the gun at her direction.
"Us toons may act asinine –but we're not stupid! We demand justice! Why, I bet if you stop to think about the meaning of justice, you'd get all tied up!"
A rope suddenly looped around her waist. Before Rhoda could yell in surprise, she was suddenly attacked by a female weasel. A great cloud of dust ballooned in a flurry of limbs, rope and name-calling. When the dust settled down, the weasel was standing over a rabbit bound hand and foot.
"Rhoda!"
Jesse rushed over to check on her and the weasels surrounded them.
"Tie the lovebirds together," the Judge said, walking toward the Dip Truck control.
A fat weasel in a childish dress grabbed Rhoda. The rabbit kept her expression stony. Just when she was itching to confront Jesse face-to-face, she felt herself placed on Jesse back-to-back.
"Put them up on that hook! Use that escape-proof toon rope!"
The female weasel with the nicotine problem tied a rope around Rhoda's chest and Jesse's waist while another one in a sleek green leathercoat pointed a blade at them.
The machine began to hum.
"Time to kill the rabbit," a psychedelic-eyed weasel in a hospital gown said in sing-song voice before giggling girlishly in a creepy way.
The crane lifted them up and Rhoda clenched her fists when she felt a pair of hands attempt to hold them.
"Do not talk to me," she says in a tone that gave him a cold shoulder -literally.
Jesse craned his neck to look at her but all he could see were long, furry ears. She didn't attempt to move her hands away when he covered them with his own. But then, it might be because they were tied together.
An engine roared to life, making him look up. He didn't need a degree in engineering to know what the hose-pipe attached to the truck was for. Any minute now, they'd be the first toons to be erased out of existence before ToonTown.
"Rhoda."
Rabbit ears twitched at her name but Rhoda stubbornly looked ahead.
"I want you to know I love you. I've loved you more than any man's ever loved a rabbit."
Jesse felt her hands clench tighter inside his palms. Then Rhoda did something Mina thought she wasn't capable of: sarcasm.
"Plus other women of other species too, obviously."
Something inside his gut twisted at her voice devoid of color. He gripped her hands as though that could stop her from distancing herself from him.
"You are my wife," Jesse said quietly even though no one but them could hear him.
Rhoda was all too aware of his grip that intensified at those words but not enough to hurt her. He continued to talk.
"I'd never do anything to hurt you but," he looked down, "Maroon threatened me to get to Martha Acme."
He wondered if she would believe him. R.K. Maroon has worked with toons all her life. She treats Rhoda and every toon star employee in a motherly manner. Even he couldn't believe it at first when he was secretly called to her office for "a favor".
Jesse said the words that he was sure would be the final nail to the coffin of their marriage.
"She threatened me by saying she'd never let you work in her studios again if I won't do it."
She'd never believe him. Maroon has a good reputation among toons and the pictures taken by Edna are too hard of an evidence to be questioned. He gripped her hands tighter, memorizing every bump of her knuckles down to the feel of her gloves, feeling something die inside him. This could be the last time that he could possibly hold her.
"I'm sorry, Rhoda."
He closed his eyes, preparing himself for the final blow.
Rhoda bit her lip, hardly aware of Edna and the Judge talking. Mina once said never cry in front of a man –especially in front of someone who breaks your heart. But she isn't facing Jesse, is she?
Silence stretched painfully as Rhoda continued to be unresponsive. But then a trembling voice spoke out, weak and vulnerable.
"Is it true? What you've said?"
Jesse tried to look at her, not daring to believe.
"Yes."
Everyone on the ground looked up when they hear a solid thunk followed by a cry of surprise.
"That's for letting your principles slide!" Rhoda yelled.
She hit the back of her head against his back again.
"That's for doing it for my sake!"
She hit the back of her head against his back again.
"That's for not telling me!"
The weasels below hooted with laughter and began to egg her on.
"Yeah, girl!"
"Hit him for being a playah!"
"Whoo! S and M!"
"I wouldn't mind a free show if they can do it in mid-air!"
"Kick him in the nuts!"
They began to laugh uncontrollably when Rhoda started to yell childish profanities at him like A-hole, sheepdip and mother-trucking hill of a beachballing custard.
"Look out, you fool!" the Judge yelled.
The female weasel in the white pantsuit turned just in time to catch Edna from stealing her gun.
"One of these days, you idiots are going to split your sides from laughter!"
Edna, who had been too busy holding up her hands, looked up with realization.
"Shall I let her 'rest' now, boss?" White pantsuit asked.
The Judge's face turned into a sneer, "Let her watch her friends get dipped then shoot her," she said, leaving the room with a turn of her cloak.
Jesse tried not to wince, feeling the brunt of her battery. Rhoda didn't pay attention to what was happening down on the ground.
BUMP!
"That's for making me faint!"
BUMP!
"That's for kidnapping me!"
She was starting to see stars as she headbashed him again.
"That's for me waking up in the trunk of our car!"
After running out of artillery accusations, she wordlessly banged her head against his spine some more before pausing to catch her breath.
Rhoda froze when she felt his finger brushed her ring underneath her glove. Even after all that had happened, she never thought about taking it off. Even after the lies, the truths and the twisted games that toons and humans play, everything is still the same. She still-
He gave a sharp intake of breath when her fingers loosened and linked around his. Jesse felt his heart beat faster with every second that color with hope.
"I love you," she spoke quietly.
Jesse blankly stared ahead with the happiest disbelief he never felt before.
He have heard her say those words a thousand times and every time she does, it damn near breaks his heart. For they all have one thing in common: she means it. But he never heard her say it so solemnly like an oath.
"And if we ever survived this..." she continued and Jesse craned his neck to hear her better.
Rhoda angled her head to glare at him, "I'M GOING TO BEAT YOU INTO A BLOODY PULP, JESSE KRUPNIK! I swear!" she yelled, a spray of spit flying from her mouth.
They swayed a bit as Rhoda tried to kick him backwards, "I'm going to kick your fanny! Your pompom! Your posteriority! They won't even need to frame me for murder! You are so dead when I-"
Jesse happily drank in her ranting; something very heavy lifted from his chest. He got her back –kicking, screaming and homicidal but he's still hers and he can die a happy man right now.
But of course, he thought as the hose-pipe rose towards them, I prefer not to.
XOXOXOXOXOX
Edna wiped her bloodied lip before manipulating the control to lower their crane. Lady Doom dead, the Toon Patrol out, and the giant Dip Machine stopped; it was time to rescue those two.
"Jeepers, Edna!" Rhoda said, leaping up to hug her as soon as Edna untied her, "For a moment I thought we're going to get buttered!"
Edna then untied Jesse next.
"Thanks," he said, dropping down on the ground.
He straightened up to find Rhoda in front of him. She looked up to him with a teary-eyed smile.
"Jesse..."
Edna flinched at the sound of someone having debilitating dyspepsia or a bloody scream. Rhoda flung herself at him and Jesse caught her around the waist just in time. She began to thump him hard in the chest with both fists.
"Don't you ever do something that stupid again, you… you misguided martyr! You could have told me about Maroon! We could have done something about it together! You're a-"
That's beating him into a bloody pulp? Edna thought, watching them. She decided to check the Dip Machine of Death to give them some privacy. Of course, it didn't stop her from hearing Rhoda or the pounding she's giving with every word she's saying.
"I thought you were a –I thought you have –Eaarrgh! I'm so mad at you I can divorce you right –" she makes a muffled gasp.
Edna turned around to see Jesse kissing Rhoda like there's no tomorrow. She shook her head, turning around again.
Rhoda let him kiss her some more before she gently pushed him away with a hand on his chest.
"You're still sleeping on the couch tonight," she said with that cute angry pout before the toons came in to the scene of the crime.
Author's Notes: Some of you might be wondering why Rhoda is rather angrier and more indignant than Roger was in the movie. Well that's because a woman scorned is funnier than a wronged but still hopeful woman.