Chapter 5: Reveal

I want this… want this so much… your lips… your body… your scent… you will be mine… or I will die of my desire…

"Why?"

The question struck him with fine sharpness slicing through the dark voices in his head. When he came through, there were the bipolar gems blinking cluelessly at him, framed by his callous and sinful hands. It drove Jun back to fear his nature and his tendencies. What was he trying to do to her- her and her accursed innocence… for someone smart and experienced in world-affairs, Souseiseki was being unreasonably dense. Why indeed, though even Jun would ask the same question…. Why couldn't she understand how much he wants her…

"I'm not sure I can answer that." Jun said, stroking her face and reluctantly setting it free.

"Why not?"

"Because…"

"Because?" she followed him with a question.

Jun moved swiftly so as to get a clearer sense into his head, and to get her off of him before something more severe transpires. Summer was clearly beating down on him in ways he could only curse under his breath. So much for a calm disposition – that blood lost effect didn't do much good once he has gotten his hormones pumped and running again, thanks to this doll, who has somehow managed to crawl towards the retreating lad and pushed him on the bed.

"Jun…"

He suddenly realized how strong she is whenever she has to be, whenever she wants to be, and apparently at that situation she felt like using her strength to get what she wanted, and she wanted answers. So she grabbed the unsuspecting teen through the hem of his shirt and pulled him back on the bed, sure to have a thick bundle of pillows cushion his head.

"Tell me why."

If he could carefully explain the awkward position she has gotten herself into with him, it wouldn't be half as bad. Unfortunately, not only did she sat on that place where boys wouldn't public apply pressure on, she has placed hands to pin his arm on top of his head. Thus contrary to common imagination, Jun is now fancying the scene in his head that he was being raped by Souseiseki – though it was partly meant to be for a jest in his head.

That is, until Souseiseki leaned forward and have their noses touched, wearing a serious expression that was somewhat ridiculous taking into account Jun's mindset. He couldn't possibly consider that face seriously, not when he wanted to pressed his lips on hers, being so closed and so moist.

"I'm not letting you go until you do."

"Um, Souseiseki… the others…"

"What about them?" she asked, and the way she fidgeted to get more comfortable while she straddled on him was somehow, at least for Jun, very provocative.

"Well, they might see us."

"So?" she asked, determined to put up a fight, either with an argument, or with a full blown Rozen strength.

"So, they might think, uh, we're doing something."

"What do you mean something?"

It somehow sliced through Jun's head the possibility of her just toying with him or if she is playing stupid for a cause, but by the way her face clearly shows 'no shit moments please', he just shoved the thought away.

"Erm, nothing… just get off of me, will you?" it was a request contradicting the seering desire… in his pants. Luckily, his little friend down there is still worn out by the previous energy sucking nosebleed.

"No." said the Lapiz doll, and just like her twin, Souseiseki's cheeks flustered up signaling an effort being made, though hers were a bit more subtle compared to Suiseiseki.

"Souseiseki, please. If your sister sees us like this, for one reason or another she's not going to like it."

"Fine." Souseiseki clearly didn't understand what was so compromising about their current position, and Jun wished he could hate her for that.

Sadly, there were too many things he loves about her for him to hate to any degree deeper than the unworthy choice for a clothing she always wears. He thought she would be reasonable and just let him go, but when he saw a small amount of light gleam through her eyes, and when he heard that stupid door suddenly click with a lock, he knew he was in for some trouble.

"There," she began, releasing the amount of magic she has used to imprison the boy, "I don't know why my sisters would be upset seeing us like this, but they won't catch us anymore."

"Well, actually, I don't think I want us to be in this position either." He said, admitting to himself how twisted his character can be when it comes to her, considering he was never known to tell a good lie.

"How come?"

She asked it wish such hurt expression Jun felt his inside flutter, and the proximity of their faces added gas into that.

"Well, I…" Jun tried to explain but it was a little difficult to apply thought into reasonable words when all he could think about was biting that cute little nose of hers, and giving those bubbly cheeks a good lick.

"But when you're like this with my sisters you seem fine with it." She pointed out, still with a tone hinted with subtle hurt.

If memory serves him right, he has never been in a position like this with any of the Rozen dolls, not even with Shinku. Perhaps she was referring to the moments when the two most spoiled little brats in the house would find a good excuse to pounce on him all of a sudden, just for the heck of it. In that case, she would be right.

Memory works well enough to make him recall also the fact that he never had time to publicly share physical gestures of affection with Souseiseki. He wasn't the most expressive type in the first place, but among the many needs that the Rozen Maiden dolls have taught him was the need to touch, to reach out, and to be goey and slimy with all the hugs and kisses that normally make him puke.

"Souseiseki…"

"I'm confused, Jun." she continued, "Sometimes you're nice to me, sometimes you seem cold and distant."

Considering she had been occupying his mind for past few weeks, he found that rather hard to digest. Perhaps his means of avoiding 'unpleasant' events involving pleasurable wrong doings has made a rather interesting backfire.

"But when it comes to Suiseiseki and Hinaichigo, you are always sweet, and thoughtful, and you don't deny them anything."

"Sweet?" Jun confirmed, since it was that last thing he would like to be called.

"Yes. You always carry them in your arms and you hand feed them sometimes when they ask for it, and you let them sleep on your shoulders or on your neck whenever we watch T.V."

The possibility of jealousy rang into Jun's mind, and it gave a rather pleasant realization. Although, at the same time, he realized he had been unfair towards the boku-doll. Setting aside the reserved and high-almighty Shinku who prefers the comfort of her books over any contact, he somehow made Souseiseki felt a little left out whenever the other two dolls would use him as a human snuggy.

"And then, when we're together like this… you say I'm pretty, that I'm very special, and that I matter to you."

"I never said you mattered to me."

"Bu-but, you hugged me and…"

Jun had to mentally snap himself for pushing the little doll's insecurities to the point close to crying. But he immediately corrected himself.

"I did, and that's because you DO matter to me… a lot."

"Really?" she asked in such a sweet, soft tone of voice Jun finally couldn't resist smiling at her precious sight.

"Really." He whispered back.

The faint smell of cinnamon tea coated her breath as she giggled at him. Her sound, her scent, her body on top of him, clearly Jun was smelling molestation brewing within the following minutes. But having Souseiseki on top of him was such a rare occasion he couldn't afford to care what he might do – he just wanted to bask under her warmth and soak up every detail of her face that was so closed to him.

Souseiseki fell into a silent, smiling contentment while she kept their noses rubbing. Her subtle moist breaths tingled Jun's face, her bi-colored eyes sparkled with happiness as it looked into his, and her soft body pressed down nicely at him.

"God, you're so beautiful, Souseiseki."

He didn't even notice it pass by his lips. He just absentmindedly said it, driven by the moment, driven by her closeness to him. But even though it was clearly meant to express a complement, albeit it was mixed with suggestions of lust Souseiseki didn't notice, said doll didn't react so pleased about it. Her face just reverted back to its serious, confused state. She removed herself from Jun and sat by edge of the bed, her legs dangling and squeezed together, a sign that she was clearly not getting it.

"There you go again." she began, "You kept saying those things and making me feel good about myself, but after a while, you…"

She stopped, looked at Jun, then looked away again. Sakurada didn't know what she was about to say. Nor did it seem like she knew how to say it. But she continued on.

"It's just that you seem to hold back. When I think that I finally found someone who… I mean…"

For someone as smart as her, getting confused must be a terrible experience. Fortunately, Jun's head is not purely made up of testosterone. He knew well enough that Souseiseki didn't know just what she is to him, how should she see herself whenever they're together.

It was his turn to advance and place arms around her. The surprised doll looked at the boy who had nothing but reassuring smile across his features.

"Souseiseki, have you ever seen me hug your sisters like this?"

The doll gave a moment's thought. She just placed her cheek on the crook of Jun's neck when he couldn't think of one. "No… do you?"

"Never. You're the only one I hold like this."

"Somehow, that makes me happy." She whispered, and true enough, on her face was a smile retrained by bountiful cheeks. "And you're the only person who has ever held me this way."

Jun pulled her closer, his arms tightening gently and his face taking advantage of the magenta crop of hair that smelled so fresh and enlivening. "Mmm…." He mumbled, rubbing his nose on her head.

"But I still don't get it." She said, placing a fist on his chest. "Why?"

"I don't really know but…"

With hands under her arm, Jun gently pulled Souseiseki up and made her kneel on his lap, keeping eye contact all the while, smiling, and making her feel like a doll again. Souseiseki kept on staring back into his eyes, and Jun felt that magic she always had with him, the magic that heats up his chest and tenses up his muscles.

"…maybe, this would give us both an idea."

He leaned his head forward and placed a soft kiss on the side of her lips. It brought a new idea in Jun's mind on how tender her skin really is, and how nicely the small tints of red decorate across her face while she placed a hand on the spot where his lips landed. Jun smirked, somehow disturbed at how brave he can be when the occasion requires it, and how vulnerable she allows herself to be. But never setting aside the fact she was so cute while she knelt there, completely clueless and speechless.

"Jun…"

"Yeah, I know, but please don't freak out." He said, fearing the worst possible reaction she can have.

Perhaps the idea of being a boy was incorporated into her head too much, she lost track of what it felt like to be a girl. Or perhaps it was the sensation of such level of affection that was totally alien to her. She continued to fidget on his lap and didn't seem too comfortable about receiving something from Jun that she didn't understand.

"What… what did you do?" Souseiseki suddenly asked, voice soft and weak with confusion.

"Huh?" Jun didn't feel good about suddenly intruding on her, but it wasn't like he did anything worth being taken to jail for.

"My chest… it feels so hot… all of a sudden. What was that you did?"

"Erm… it was a kiss…" Jun said, scratching his head. It was somehow his turn to be clueless. Surely Souseiseki has seen a kiss or two in one of those awful toothpaste commercials between Kunkun episodes.

"A kiss…" her eyes turned into a far away gaze, and sparkled with some dreamy glint. "…what does a kiss mean?"

"Well, there are a lot of meanings into a kiss, but basically you kiss someone when you care for them really deeply, and when you want that person to stay you… always."

He tucked some of her bangs to the side and cupped up her flustered cheeks. Souseiseki continued to fidget on him, and it made Jun think that perhaps he was being too forward with her. Perhaps she didn't like it.

"Sorry." He began, "I guess I shouldn't have . I had a feeling you wouldn't like the idea."

"No."

She grabbed the caressing palm before it could even leave her face, placing a hand over it to keep it there, to let it feel her skin and the warmth caused by the blush.

"It is not because I don't like it." She said, "It's just that no one has ever… kissed me before."

Souseiseki crawled back into Jun's lap, and snuggled onto him with her entire form getting cozy on his chest. It was a behavior Jun had never seen before. Then again, no one has pushed her to an embarrassing, familiar corner before, and, most certainly, no one has ever kissed her before. Another learning experience – Souseiseki has always been the serious, no nonsense type of doll, calculating and goal oriented. It never occurred to her that someone would actually be willing to share gestures of affection towards her.

"Do you really want me to stay?" she asked in a whisper.

Jun was happily grazing on her hair again and didn't even need to give it a thought.

"Mmhmm… I really do."

He saw the coat of red on her face darken as the blush deepened into fluttery.

"Do you care for me that much?" she asked again, her voice getting timid and softer."

"Yes, a lot."

Like a nuzzling cat, Souseiseki pressed her face on his chest, and for a moment Jun's perverted mind got mixed up into the whole scenario again. But composure was on a role today, and the odd behavior and her seemingly odd questions was bugging him he just didn't have time to fancy anything sexual. He stroke the doll's soft hair while she pressed her head on his body.

"Do you like me, Jun?"

He then realized- Souseiseki wasn't good at handling these kinds of things. She lose track of reasonable words when feelings made better sense. And the questions she asked weren't meant to look for an answer. They were questions asking Jun to make her feel secured, accepted, and wanted. She wanted, she NEEDED, to hear those words.

"More than you know." Jun answered.

He heard something similar to a giggle as she continued to use his chest to hide her obviously reddened features, and to hide from a feeling that is new and warm and good.

"Mm… this is embarrassing…" she mumbled, and began rubbing her face on him.

Jun couldn't help but give off a little laugh at her antics.

"Aren't you being silly?" he asked, pulling her up from that tight spot she made for herself on him. "You're the one asking all the embarrassing questions."

He himself was blushing. But somehow, it was also, for him, quite liberating. For so long he wanted to hold her, to kiss her, to touch her, to spoil her through every possible means. Now, as he relaying the message, he was getting a rather curious response… curious, yet adorable, especially so with how her red and green eyes seemed to have been accented by the subtle layer of fluster concentrating on both cheeks.

"Let me outline that thought for you." Jun said, still holding on to Souseiseki like the doll she is, "I like you, Souseiseki, I care for you, and I want you to stay here with me."

"But…"

"No buts, no arguments. Will you stay with me? Please?" Jun pleaded.

Souseiseki was reduced to a speechless, blushing heap of wide-eyed cuteness – her eyes still a bit doubtful but definitely reflecting joy, and her mouth gapping with lack of words but with a desire to express something. Jun stared at her. He had to. that's the only thing he can do when something as yummy as her was in his hands.

Apparently, the way he gazed at her was a bit too much for Souseiseki to handle.

She placed both palms to cover her face, hiding whatever it was Jun found so desirable and pleasing to look at. Nevertheless, she still answered the question.

"Yes, yes I will stay with you, Jun."

It was all the answer Jun needed to forget those troubled times he had while fantasizing about her, all those torn moments when he was being a romantic or a pervert. This time, he was sure, his intentions were justified. He really likes Souseiseki, and he will break ways to express that.

"Great!" he declared, pulling the doll into himself. Souseiseki, still hiding behind her hands, groaned as she was cuddled by the happy teen, but made no attempts to break free of him.

"Why are you hiding your face? Hey!" he teased, poking her side. Souseiseki squirmed about with each poke.

"Because it's embarrassing." She said softly, her voice a bit shaky in its attempt to restrain the giggles.

"Oh really? Is still embarrassing if I do this?"

His pokes then turned into full blown attack of tickles, fingers of both hands dribbling on her ribs. The result was an instantaneous yelp, followed by waves of laughter that was delightful in Jun's ear. She was forced to remove her hands and arch her body upward, as Jun held no quarter in attacking her sensitive belly. She twisted and flung her body all over the place, but Jun had her secured. Her attempts to remove his hands were hardly working either, for energy was quickly draining.

"Jun, stop!" she beckoned, in the middle of failed struggles for air.

"Is still embarrassing, huh? What if I kiss you some more, hmm?"

As if his fingers weren't enough, he began showering quick, soft kisses all over her face and on her ear. The sensitive doll couldn't do anything about it. At the very least, Jun's lips grazing her earlobe didn't feel as ticklish as much as it felt good. Unfortunately, her magical body wasn't made to withstand such familiar touches, so the tickling continued along with her increasing volume of laughter.

The boy didn't have the entire day to enjoy that though. With Lempika's magic turning inside out from Souseiseki's excitement, some power came out and the locked door clicked open. And with a somewhat twisted format in Jun's fate, it was also the exact moment when someone took hold of the knob, turned it and entered the room.

Needless to say, the person caught them in a rather unbecoming scenario.

Both Jun and Souseiseki blinked, gathering their breaths. Jun was the first to have full consciousness of the new arrival.

"Erm…. Hi… Kashiwaba-san."

to be continued...

comments and suggestions are welcome... thanks!