"Let's shove this in the hall, otherwise we'll never get everyone in." Balin's voice sounded from farther away. Bilbo brushed past me, covered in weapons that had been dropped on him. He reminded me of a metal porcupine or something.
"E-everyone?" the hobbit squeaked. "How many more are there?" As if on cue, the doorbell rang again, longer than before. I turned almost as pale as Miley was. Bilbo stomped to the door ranting and dropping the weapons all over the place. He yanked open the door and eight more dwarves came spilling through. I stared agape at the writhing mass of bodies on the floor. A huge gray man bent down and looked through the door. "Gandalf." Bilbo sighed irritably. The wizard merely smiled.
"Gandalf's here?" Miley's voice spoke up. I turned in alarm to see her practically run to the door as Gandalf stepped over the pile of dwarves who were slowly untangling themselves. Miley looked up ever so slightly at the towering wizard, seeing as she was the closest here to his height.
"Hello my dear." The wizard smiled, pleasantly confused. "I do not believe we have met."
"Oh, Miley Comtois." The red haired girl smiled. "At your service." She bowed.
"Gandalf the Grey." The old man nodded back. "You seem familiar with dwarvish customs, but you don't seem to be a dwarf." He observed.
"Right…" Miley said quietly, probably making a mental note of it. "I saw some of the other guests doing it. It seemed polite." She explained quickly.
"And are you too a guest of Mr. Baggins?" Gandalf asked, walking with her over to the fire.
"Yes." Miley nodded.
"She's an old friend of mine." I spoke up, realizing my cover would soon be blown. I hurried over and smiled. "Mrs. Baggins, nice to meet you." Gandalf raised an eyebrow. As did Miley.
"Indeed?" The wizard gave me a knowing look. I swallowed nervously.
"Yes. Miley is a dear childhood friend of mine. She was stopping by for a visit when all of these… dwarves showed up." I frowned, looking over at Bilbo who was desperately trying to stop a dozen dwarves from destroying his pantry. He was failing. The poor bloke.
"Can we go with you?" Miley asked excitedly. Gandalf turned to her in surprise.
"Go with me where?" the wizard inquired. I groaned. Miley was so going to blow our cover.
"To Erebor!" The girl pressed, enthusiasm spilling off of her.
"How do you know about that?" Gandalf gave her a queer look.
"Shut up now." I whispered quietly to Miley. She just smirked.
"I know many things Mithrandir." The wizard looked slightly impressed.
"You seem to know elf customs as well, to some extent. Though you are here in Hobbiton." Gandalf said, as if trying to figure her out.
"You are a Maiar." Miley replied. "Yet here you are. In Hobbiton." Now Gandalf was really impressed. He regarded her for a moment.
"I can certainly put in a word for you with the leader of our company, though the decision is up to him." The wizard said at last.
"That is all I ask." Miley smiled, putting on an air of wise maturity. I rolled my eyes.
"And does your friend now many things as well?" he turned to me.
"W-what?" I stammered. "Well, yeah, but not anything useful." The wizard chuckled at my brashness.
"She is a skilled fighter." Miley said quickly.
"What? No I'm not!" I hissed at her. She gave me a pointed look. I coughed. "I mean… I have… some skill with a bow." Thank you Katniss. "But nothing extraordinary."
"Well, I'll put in a word for you as well." Gandalf nodded, before getting up to go take a head count of the dwarves. As soon as he was out of the room, Miley let out a super excited squeal. Her face was it's normal color again as she grabbed my hands and danced in a circle. I had never seen her so excited. Ever.
"We're in The Hobbit!" She grinned at me, her face ecstatic. "Can you believe it M?"
"Chill out! Will you?" I pleaded nervously. "We can't let our guard down."
"Oh come off it already." Miley rolled her eyes. "We'll be fine. This is Bag End for goodness sake!" I just glared at her. She sighed and pried the poker from my fingers, shoving it back in the stand. "Now, Mrs. Baggins, why don't you go help your hubby save the food." I growled at her slightly, but stomped away nonetheless.
The situation at the pantry was horrendous. The dwarves were grabbing anything they could get their hands on. Bread, Meat, cranberry sauce, Entire cheese wheels, anything they could get their hands on was moved to the dining room. Several chairs as well, though I was pretty sure at least some of them were antiques.
At first I tried to help Bilbo stop them. But this proved hard to do while keeping my distance, so I just glared at every dwarf passing by. The youngest looking got so scared of me that he dropped a basket of apples that he was carrying. Fili and Kili noticed it, picked up the apples and put them in the basket. Except for two which they bit into messily right in front of my face and chewed noisily. I was going to kill them. I really was. Even more so when I noticed that Kili was in fact an inch taller than me. Even though he was a dwarf. Unfair. The two apple-eating dwarfs strode off smugly as I pictured what I would do for revenge. The jerks.
Then the dwarves sat down and started eating. Gandalf and Miley joined them. I did not. Neither did Bilbo. I was starving though. I didn't do too well without food. The dwarves carried on loudly, throwing food to one another and walking on the table. And the belching. It was enough to make me sick to my stomach. My appetite suddenly disappeared.
Once their supper was over, they dispersed again and Bilbo was back on patrol, saving dishes and doilies from the dwarven clutches. I searched out Miley to find her sitting with Fili and Kili. All three were laughing merrily. She caught my eyes and stopped laughing. She excused herself from the two brothers and walked with me into the hall. I saw Kili's eyes following her out sadly. It annoyed me to no end and I had no idea why.
"What?" Miley asked angrily once we had stopped in the empty hall.
"You can't honestly be encouraging this?" I glared at her.
"M, you need to lighten up!" the taller girl sighed. It felt really weird to hear her say that, cause usually I was the one saying that to her. "We're going to be stuck with these dwarves for the entire story, so you might as well learn to get along with them."
"I don't want to get along with them. I want to go home." I stressed pinching the bridge of my nose. "There are a bunch of unknown and unsupervised men in this house with us! We can't afford to be so careless!" Miley frowned.
"M… You've had trouble in books before, haven't you?" She asked. I swallowed and looked away.
"Yeah… just a bit." I snapped sarcastically. I could feel eyes of pity on me. I hated it. "Don't look at me like that!" I huffed at her. "It was forever ago. I just don't want the same thing to happen to you."
"I can take care of myself M." Miley smiled sadly. "And I'll look out for you too. I promise. So just try to have some fun okay? It really is a great book." I sighed.
"Fine…" I conceded. We both looked up in surprise then as a certain hobbit's voice rose.
"I don't understand what these dwarves are doing in my house!" Bilbo complained to Gandalf a little further down the hall.
"Excuse me." The younger dwarf I scared before said, walking up to Bilbo. "But what should I do with my plate?" Both hobbit and dwarf looked down at the plate, then up at the other.
"Here Ori," Fili said, walking over. "Give it here." I frowned. Where was the other one? But before I could speculate on the question, a plate was hurled straight at my head. I ducked quickly as the plate went flying over me to be caught deftly by Kili. Oh, that was the last straw. I stood and turned to the dark dwarf, fuming. But before I could say anything, Kili pushed me to the side before catching Fili's plate, which would have hit my head if I had not been moved.
"Are you trying to kill me?" I hollered at Fili who smirked at me before dashing off to find more plates.
"Oh! Did you hear that lads?" one of the dwarves said from the dining room. "He says we'll blunt the knives!" My mouth dropped open at what happened next. The dark haired dwarf began singing in a deep, rich voice, throwing his own plate into the next room, his other arm guiding Miley out of the way smoothly.
'Blunt the knives, bend the forks.'
Fili came back with more plates, taking up the song.
'Smash the bottles and burn the corks,'
The rest of the dwarves began joining in.
'Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!'
The tiny hobbit hole turned into one of the craziest assembly lines ever. Dwarves tossing dishes and silverware to one another. Fili continued to hurl things at Kili, who caught them easily and passed them on, all the while spinning and moving Miley out of the way. She was laughing merrily, having the time of her life. I tried not to sulk. They looked so graceful and natural together. Like they were dancing. I had just been shoved out of the way like a sack of potatoes.
The song echoed behind me as I stomped out of the house, letting the door swing closed behind me.
This chapter wasn't very funny. My apologies. But stuff needed to happen.
Review if you think it was worth it!
SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!
I had an Idea for another story recently.
Unfortunately, it requires over 20 different dwarrowdams. Even more unfortunately, I cannot come up with that many different dwarrowdams.
That's where you come in.
If you would like to PM me or review with a dwarrowdam of your own creation, that would be AMAZING!
I need dwarrowdams of all shapes, sizes, backgrounds, and ages. Also, there is a possibility that not all will be used! But please, the more options the better! Be as detailed as you want!
And thank you for your time!
- the BugSlayer