The World We Live In

by narutokid16

The prison has fallen and the former inhabitants scatter to the wind. Carl Grimes is on his own, tired, and exhausted. Where are the others? Who survived? Who died? And who is this weirdo pointing a knife at Carl's throat? Read on to find out. Last chapter is up you guys! I hope you enjoy.

6. The Monster You Made Me

Chapter Six: The Monster You Made Me

Tay POV

"That's her?" I didn't respond, I dropped down onto the bridge, heading towards the car. I grabbed my bat and some spare magazines for their guns before returning to the top of the bus. I handed them 3 magazines each, hoping that it'd be enough for them to at least clear half the walkers swarming my mom.

I adjusted my gauntlets, strapped my bat to my back, and gave the girls one last look; the sureness in their eyes was all the confirmation I needed. They took up positions on the bus that would allow them to effectively provide support for me before I stood at the edge, ready to descend into hell.

"TAY!"

I heard someone clamor up the side of the bus and as soon as I saw that unmistakable sheriff's hat, I felt a sudden surge of joy. Carl stood before me, looking like a totally different person than the one I'd left behind. One thing hadn't changed about him though; his steely eyed gaze was still the same. I took one last look at him before removing my rifle from my shoulder and tossing it to him.

"Cover me." I didn't wait for any confirmation, I simply dropped into the fray. I rolled when I hit the ground and used the push I got from that to sprint towards the wall of bodies standing between my mother and I.

As I got closer, I had my sights set on my first target; I drew my bat and with one firm swing, I turned its head to mush. At that moment, I felt…strange. I could feel every inch of my body tense and relax. I was aware of everything. The world was moving so slow and everything sounded so far away. The groaning of the walkers was drowned out by the beating of my heart. It was surprisingly even considering the situation. Is this…is this what adrenaline does? I feel so…focused.

I heard a gunshot and I knew what gun it was from. A bullet whizzed by my head and dropped a walker beside me. I dropped to my knees and let a flurry of bullets clear a path in front of me. I leapt over the bodies and proceeded towards my mom.

Swing after swing, bullet after bullet, walkers were dropping like flies. I was about 200 yards from my goal and still feeling invincible. Carl, Camille, and Brittany were doing an amazing job at covering me. If a walker even snarled, it was dropping to the pavement before I could give it a second thought. I did get grabbed once though; a walker grabbed me from behind and was about to bite into my neck but I used the skinnier end of my bat to keep its gapping maw busy and used my legs to kick off another walker. The force of my kick made me and the walker behind me topple backwards but as its grip loosened, I rolled to my feet. I drew my Px4 and fired at the walkers closest to me. Carl, not to be out done, was clearing a wider area around me.

I continued forward, using my fists and feet more than my bat the closer I got. My hits were solid, my form was flawless, my spatial awareness was dead on, best of all, despite being surrounded by certain death, I wasn't scared. I knew that the people on the bus would have my back if I needed help.

I was so close to the bulldozer; I could almost feel the metal of its cab beneath my feet. One resounding shot from Carl made a walker drop to its knees and I used it as a launch point, pushing off its shoulder and landing on top of the bulldozer next to my mom. I didn't wait for her to greet me, I simply nodded back at everyone on the bus before firing at the remaining walkers surrounding us.

As the last round left the barrel of my gun, I finally took a breath and looked at my mom. She looked tired, she had dried blood on her arms and face but no visible bite marks. Her hair was still in a short, manageable afro but it had darkened from the color it had been dyed years ago and was now accented by a blue folded scarf. She looked so shocked to see me but all I could do was stare. The adrenaline surging through my body was preventing me from fully enjoying this long overdue reunion but I knew once we got to safety, everything would hit me.

"Miss me?" I chuckled.

She wrapped her arms around me tightly and began sobbing. I had only ever seen my mother cry when my grandmother passed away and sometimes on my late grandfather's birthday. I'd never seen her sob before. I timidly wrapped my arms around her, solidifying that this was really happening. This wasn't a dream. This wasn't a hallucination. This was real. I was finally with the woman who raised me and I was so happy.

"I thought about you every single day." She sobbed into my shoulder.

"I did too, mom. I missed you so much. I made it my mission to get to you and didn't stop thinking about you for a second. Come on, we gotta go. My friends are waiting."

She hesitantly pulled away from me, placing her hand on my cheek. "You've grown so much."

"Mom, come on. I'm still 5'8. Maybe 5'10 in these boots." I joked.

"You haven't lost your sense of humor."

"Gotta take the laughs where I can get 'em."

I helped her down from the bulldozer, surprising her that I could support her weight. I told her that my time hadn't been wasted by fumbling about the country with my head up my ass and that I actually had been building strength. We made our way over to the others and we all helped my mom up onto the bus. Camille and Brittany introduced themselves, telling her that they'd heard so much about her and were glad they were finally able to meet her. I was watching them then slowly turned towards Carl. I was about to speak but my vision blurred and my legs almost gave out.

"Tay! What's wrong?" Camille cried.

"He's probably exhausted." Carl said calmly. "Here, just climb down off the bus and I can help you from there." I nodded, allowing Carl to go first so he could catch me. As I dropped down, my legs gave out completely and Carl had to support me. "I've got you." He shifted me onto his back and started walking towards what I assumed was his and Michonne's vehicle.

"My baby, mommy's here." Mom said as she walked along side us. "I'll drive to where I'm camped out. Make sure he'll be okay."

"I will…I promise." Carl assured her. That's the last thing I remember before passing out.

Carl POV

"How's my baby doing?"

Tay was currently resting his head in my lap in the back seat of my and Michonne's truck, still worn out from earlier. "He's okay. His breathing isn't labored and he seems to be resting comfortably." I stated flatly as I ran my hand through his hair a few times.

"Thank you…thank you for helping me. My son seems to have immense trust placed in you two."

"You're welcome, but I must apologize for something…"

"Michonne right? What could you have to apologize for?"

"I stepped out of line with Tay when we first met. He was swearing around me and I asked if his mother had taught him to respect his elders. He retorted by saying that you'd taught him to respect those who respect him, regardless of age and to never speak of someone I knew nothing about. I apologize for my ignorance…had I known the situation I would have reworded my question."

"It's quite alright. He always has had a bit of a foul mouth, even around me. But he usually reigned it in when I asked him to. I'm sure if he'd heard what you just said he'd forgive you as well." His mother sighed a bit. "He always has been protective of me so I'm not surprised that he reacted in such a way."

"I understand." I spoke softly. "I was the same way with my dad."

"We're here." We pulled into a secluded shipping bay on the water, it was a pretty smart place to hide. You always had an out if you needed one. I noted that there was a boat in the water, a small garden in the corner, a clear tank full of fish, and a fire pit with chairs around it.

"Carl, be careful with him."

"I will be." I slowly slid Tay out of the backseat, supporting his upper body until Michonne grabbed his legs.

"Right upstairs." His mom said leading the way. "He can rest in the spare bed we have until he wakes up."

"Got it." We carried him up the steps as carefully as we could. His friends were close behind with his gear and a first aid kit.

"Sharon…er…Ms. Alvarez? Tay's mom, do you think he'll need any medical attention?" Camille asked timidly.

"Not likely. If you guys provided adequate support and he still has his training to fall back on, he should be fine with a bed, a pair of watchful eyes, and some water."

"Got it. Anything else we can do?"

We entered one of the rooms upstairs that looked like it was used as a communication center before his mother answered. "You girls can help me cook for everyone tonight. You guys must be starving."

"After today, I'm sure we could all use a nice meal." Camille said politely.

We set him down on the bed, placing his weapons close by. His mom knelt beside him, smoothing her hand over his cheek before placing a kiss on his forehead. "I missed you." She whispered softly.

"I'll stay with him." I assured her.

"I'd appreciate that."

"It's the least I can do, ma'am."

She hugged me tight for a few seconds before kissing me on the forehead. She took the girls and Michonne down stairs to prepare dinner, leaving me standing next to the bed. I turned my attention back to Tay, he looked at ease. I couldn't help but smirk.

"Look at you. You're such an idiot. You dove head first into a horde of the living dead with a handgun and a bat. You killed most of those things by yourself too, the rest of us were just kind of there." I paused, letting my smile falter a bit. "Why did you leave me, you idiot? You could have stayed. We could have found your mom together." I took a second to steady myself. "It's okay though, she's safe, your friends are here, and I'm here with you. I'm happy with how things ended up."

I grabbed the chair from the desk in the room and pulled it up next to his bed. I timidly took his hand in mine, feeling my heart flutter a bit. I'd waited for this moment for a while and I couldn't be happier right now.

Tay POV

My eyes slowly opened and at first my vision was blurry and I felt a weight on my chest. As my vision cleared, I saw an all too familiar sheriff's hat part way down my chest and dark brown hair sticking out from under it.

"Hey, kinda hard to breathe with that huge head of yours on my stomach." His head shot up, a look of utter shock gracing his features. "Don't look so stunned, you didn't think I was dead, did you? Carl I'm hurt." I chuckled dryly.

He threw his arms around me as he buried his head into the crook of my neck. "I'm glad you're okay." I reciprocated his hug whilst rubbing his back.

"I missed you."

I felt his body tense a bit before he started shaking. "I missed you too."

"Shhh, don't cry. I'm sorry I hurt you. I really am. I thought that leaving was best for you…I see now that it was a bit of a mistake."

He pulled away suddenly, tears streaming down his flushed cheeks. "A bit? You almost broke me."

"Carl I'm sorry! That's not what I wanted at all, I thought leaving you with Michonne would be better for you!"

"Actually…you did more by leaving than you think. I used the pain of you leaving to fuel my training and make better decisions."

"I'm glad. We should spar again, show me how far you've come." I rubbed my thumb over his cheek, smoothing away his tears.

"I'd like that…but for now, your mom is down stairs with dinner."

"I thought I smelled fish. Hungry?"

"Starving."

"Let's go eat then."

Carl helped me to my feet and out onto the walkway before we headed down the stairs. "Hey everyone, look who's awake."

Everyone looked up from their plates but there was one person who looked over a bit slower than everyone else. I saw his face and I felt sheer and utter shock surge through me. I never thought he'd be alive, never thought to look for him. Never really cared if he was okay or not, now he was staring me in the face.

"You."

"Son…I'm glad you're okay." He set his plate down and began walking over to me.

"That's your dad?" Carl asked. I didn't reply, my eyes just narrowed and my body tensed.

He got closer to me and looked as if he was about to say something but I punched him in the jaw. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I kicked him in the ribs and landed another punch in his face.

"ASANTE'! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" I heard mom yell but I was too pissed to even care.

"Why did you come back?!" I punched him in his stomach then kneed him in the chin. "I was fine most of my life without you and then you just show up?" I kicked him in the back of his leg before punching him again. "WHY?! You trying to weasel your way in through mom?!"

"Should we stop him?" Camille asked, looking extremely worried.

"After what he told us about him, let him beat the shit out of him until he feels better." She continued to eat her fish as she unapologetically watched me beat my father.

After about five minutes of consecutive punches and kicks, Carl finally restrained me. "Enough! You're gonna kill him!"

My father was left slumped over on the floor, beaten and bloody, coughing and trying to catch his breath. "Who taught you to punch? They did a damn good job."

"It sure as hell wasn't you!"

"Asante', he helped me. He watched out for me. We were doing well together here."

"Are you back together with him?"

"God no. We're just friends."

"I'm so-"

"Save. Your. Breath. Mom, can I have a plate of food? I'll be eating upstairs."

"One for me too please."

"Who are you?"

"Dino, I told you."

"I'm your son's boyfriend." The room went silent as Carl took my slightly bloodied hand and laced our fingers together.

"FUCK YEAH!" Brittany cheered into the silence of the room, causing Camille to choke on a laugh she was trying to keep stifled. Michonne looked…like she wasn't surprised. Mom looked like someone just told her the sky was blue, in other words, she didn't seem bothered or surprised, but my father looked sort of pissed. I didn't care if he approved or not. His opinion didn't mean shit to me.

"Is this true?" He asked, staggering to his feet while wiping blood from his face.

I looked down at our interlaced fingers then back up at my father before turning to fully face Carl. I brought my free hand up to his cheek, smoothing my thumb over it before moving it to the back of his head. "Does this answer your question?" I slowly leaned in for a kiss, unsurprisingly, Carl met me half way and I could feel my body practically levitate off the ground. I felt my heart rate increase before my body relaxed.

We slowly pulled apart and I felt myself being drawn in to his cool blue eyes once again. "AWWWWW!" Camille and Brittany cooed. I tried to stifle a chuckle but it broke free.

"I'm going to get cleaned up." Dino said as he stormed off towards the bathroom.

"Sweetie, you should apologize." Mom said as she brought over my and Carl's plates.

"I'll thank him for helping you but I'm not apologizing for doing something I've wanted to do since I was in grade school. Thanks for dinner. I love you." We took our plates from my mom and I kissed her on the cheek before leading Carl by the hand back to the room we were in.

Once in the room, I shut the door and set my plate on the desk. Carl had just set his down when I pulled him towards me. "Hey there…" He blushed.

"So…was that your unofficial way of asking me out?"

"Yes…and was the kiss your way of saying yes or just you shutting up your dad?"

"It was my way of saying yes. I wanted to piss him off but I also have wanted to kiss you for a very long time and I thought…I'd never get the chance."

"Well here's another chance." He placed his arms around my shoulders before slowly leaning in and kissing me. I slowly backed up towards the bed until the back of my knees touched the edge. I sat down on the squishy mattress while Carl stayed standing. We parted, smiling at each other. He looked down at me through his long hair and I could see the happiness in his eyes.

I slid my hands from his hips, under his shirts, and gently caressed his sides. I felt him shiver under my touch and it provided immense satisfaction for me knowing that I could finally make him feel the way I wanted him to.

"Wanna fool around after we eat?"

"After I talk to my mom…it's been almost a year since we parted ways after my campus was over run and I have a lot to tell her."

"I understand."

"You can sleep with me though."

"I'd like that."

"You still got my phone?"

"Yup." He fished the device out of his pocket, showing me that it was still in good condition.

"You took good care of it."

"It was…the only thing I had to remember you by. I didn't let it out of my sight."

"We can listen to music tonight if you want."

"Just one song. I promised myself that I'd listen to it when I found you again."

"I feel special…you came looking for me."

"I wasn't going to let you slip away that easily." I leaned forward, kissing him softly. It felt so good to finally be able to kiss him. After an entire month apart, I was finally getting to do what I wanted to do.

He slowly pressed me backwards onto the bed until he was straddling me. He guided my hands up to his hips, forcing me to tightly grip them. I smirked to myself, acknowledging that he had been waiting for this moment for a long time and new exactly what he wanted to do.

I slowly pulled away from him laughing a bit. "I thought you were hungry."

"I am, but for something else."

"You sure you wanna do this?"

"Positive."

"Alright. We can fool around tonight and go as far as you want. For now, can we eat?"

"Fine." He chuckled.

After Carl and I ate I went downstairs with everyone else, sans Dino, to talk with my mom. "How ya doing mom?"

"I'm good. How was the food?"

"Great as always. I missed your cooking. So…how've you been mom? Tell me everything about the last year and how it's been for you."

"The whole year? Wow…where do I start?"

"How about after we parted ways in DeKalb."

"Right. Well…get comfortable because I've been quite busy since we've last seen each other."

Michonne and the girls moved to give us some privacy but I waved them off. "You guys can stay if you want."

"Oh, yes. I don't mind if you hear what we say."

"CARL! Come down here!" I called up to him. He came trotting down the stairs coming to stand beside me.

"Yeah?"

I tapped my foot in front of me. "Take a seat."

"You sure?"

"Positive." He sat between my legs, setting his hat in his lap. "You have our undivided attention."

My mom smiled softly before starting her long tale of overcoming the adversity that this new world bred. She recounted how she had to learn to survive and relearn how to use a gun. She told us how she remembered some of the techniques I showed her to defend herself and how she felt when she first killed someone. I had flashbacks to the first time I had to kill someone, it was kind of exhilarating but at the same time I felt horrible.

She went on about her travels and the hardship she endured for an hour or two. She told us about the time she was barricaded in a school after looking for medical supplies and ended up hiding in the ventilation ducts to avoid being killed by zombies, she told us about the time she almost flipped a car after being ambushed, even how she ended up finding my father, apparently they ran into each other while clearing a house and she put him on his ass with a Judo throw before pointing a gun in his face.

I think Carl felt me tense up a bit when she told us about that because he gripped my hand a bit tighter before bringing it to his lips. Once my mom was finished she asked me about my travels.

"Well…as you can see, I adopted the identity of Harley Quinn."

"Wait, does that make me your Puddin'?" Carl asked, smiling up at me.

In my best Harley Quinn voice, I replied "Sure does, sweetie."

"Okay that was scary good." Brittany said from her seat.

"Yeah, that was dead on."

"I gotta get the voice right for my Puddin'."

I kissed the top of Carl's head. "Thank you Harley." I heard a groan from across the room. I saw Dino emerging from some room on the first floor, still clutching his face.

"Problem?" I said in an unamused tone.

"My face still hurts."

"I could pay more attention to your ribs and legs next time."

"Look, son-"

"Not your son."

"What?"

"You heard me. I-"

Carl gently squeezed my arm, silently telling me to calm down. "Tay." I looked down at him and he nodded towards my mother.

I looked up at her and she seemed uncomfortable. "I'm sorry mom." I looked back at Dino, narrowing my eyes at him. "You. Me. Outside. Now."

Carl clutched my arm as I got up. "You gonna be okay?"

I looked at my father then at Carl. "I can't promise anything but I'll try to be calm."

"Please do. Be careful?" He said handing me his gun. I noticed I didn't have mine on me and took it.

"Of course." I leaned down and kissed him quickly before striding over to the door that led to the docks with Dino close behind me.

Once outside, I slammed the door shut. "You're not going to punch me again, are you?"

"I'm tempted to. Look, there's a lot of shit I want to say to you, but I'll skip right to the point: I don't like you, I am still pissed at the way you dipped in and out of my life, I hate the way you treated Aaron for being gay, I hate how you tried to manipulate me into giving you another chance…however…I am thankful you kept mom safe. That…that puts us at a neutral point. I don't like you but I don't hate you."

"That's fair…I wasn't exactly father of the year…I'm sorry for everything."

"I accept your apology. I will make one thing clear though, you come between me, my boyfriend, my friends, or me and mom, and I will personally see to it that you die a painful death. Got it?"

"Understood."

"Good." I saw a walker creep out of the shadows behind Dino. He heard it moaning and snarling, turning to point his gun at it. I lowered his gun before walking over to the walker, kicking it's legs out from under it, and then stepping on its head with a firm stomp. "Gunshots will draw more. Last thing we need is a horde of them knocking at our doors."

"Right…"

We went back inside and saw everyone cleaning up. "What's going on?"

"Lockdown." Dino said looking at me before going to help.

"Is it that late already?"

"You know I like going to bed at reasonable hours, unlike you." Mom joked.

"Night owl, can't help it." I set to work, helping my mom lock down the building and clearing things from dinner.

"Girls, I hope you don't mind sharing a room. Michonne we have a spare room for you if you'd like." Mom said politely.

"We don't mind at all, Camille and I are close so sharing a room is nothing for us."

"Unless someone eats all the red velvet pancakes again."

"LET IT GO CAMILLE."

"NEVER."

"For the love of God you two…" I groaned.

"Leave 'em alone." Carl chuckled. "They're funny."

"You say that now. Give it a month."

"Shut up, Tay." Brittany chuckled.

"You love us." Camille said as she moved their stuff into their room.

"Yeah, yeah. Go get settled. Hey, Carl, go get comfy in our room and I'll be in in a second."

"Okay." He grinned at me before heading into our room. I followed mom into her room, standing against the doorway as she set her gun on the table beside her bed.

"In all my years of seeing you off to bed, I'd never thought I'd see you putting an HK P30 next to your bed."

"Well…times have changed."

"I know…I love you mom."

"I love you too sweetie."

"I'm sorry for the tension between Dino and I…I was surprised to see him is all and…we have so many unresolved issues between us."

"I get it."

"What?"

"I understand. I let you form your own opinion of him and he showed you time and time again why you shouldn't trust him…I get it and I don't blame you." She walked over to me and hugged me tight. "Just try to be nice…for me."

I nodded my head slowly. "Okay. For you."

She smiled up at me, rubbing my cheek as she did. "Good night, sweetheart, I love you."

"I love you too. Night." We hugged once more before I left, shutting the door to her room. "Night everyone." I shouted. Michonne, Dino, Camille, and Brittany responded accordingly as I strode towards my room. As I entered, I saw Carl taking off his jeans. "Hmm, I like what I see."

"Shit!" Carl jumped a bit.

"I don't know why, but a guy in plaid boxers always turns me on." I cooed seductively as I grabbed his waist.

"Seriously?" Carl chuckled.

"Mmhmm." I replied as I kissed his neck.

"Ahh…"

"Sorry, what was that?" I asked as I slowly slid his shirt down to reveal more of his shoulder before lightly biting it.

"Shit…that's…ahhh…that feels good."

"This is only the beginning. I can make you feel so much better." I nipped at his earlobe before spinning him so he could face me. "How far do you want to go tonight?"

"I'll try to go all the way."

"Are you sure?"

"Ever since you left, I've been more sure of my actions. I'm sure." He looked into my eyes, I saw nothing but certainty in those ice blue eyes that had always captivated me.

"Okay. I'll go slow. Tell me if you're uncomfortable at any point in time okay?"

"Alright…have you…done this before?" He asked nervously as he laid down.

"I've been penetrated by an ex but…never had sex."

"O-oh…did it hurt?"

"A bit, yeah. But unlike him, I'll prep you and make sure you're comfortable."

"I umm…I have lube in my bag…"

"Where the hell did you find lube?"

"Found some while Michonne and I were on a run. It's…umm…warming lube."

"Hmph, a good find."

"I tried it out once or twice."

"Yeah?" I smirked down at him. "How was it?"

"I…I liked it."

"Well…tell me what you did with the lube." I let my hand trail under his shirt and up his body. I leaned forward, staying just a few centimeters away from his neck.

I heard his breath hitch the further my hands went. "I…I thought of you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah…I pictured you caressing my sides and pressing yourself between my legs." I pressed my hips forward, feeding into his fantasies. "Just like that. I would…I would stroke myself slowly, thinking of you going down on me, your tongue slowly trailing down the center of my body."

"You're so bad…" I loomed over him, hovering just over his lips. "It's a turn on." He closed the distance between us before gently touching his fingers to my cheek.

He dropped his head back down onto the pillow. He looked down at the small space between us as he bit his lip. "You're overdressed."

I looked down and noted that I indeed was still wearing my clothes. "So I am. Help me undress?"

"My pleasure." I sat up letting Carl help me remove my shirt before reaching for me belt.

"Hold up." I removed my gun and holster, placing it nearby. "Sorry. It would have made things take a bit longer." Carl tore open my pants, all but commanding me to discard the restrictive denim. I kicked off my boots before discarding my pants.

"Really?" Carl asked while laughing.

"What? You know you love how your Harley looks in red and black." I was wearing a pair of Harley Quinn boxer-briefs. Red on the right side, black on the left with 3 red diamonds to offset the color block.

"I do enjoy your diamonds." He said tracing the diamonds on my forearm.

"Well you get to touch them all you want…after we get you out of these." I helped him out of his shirts, enjoying how his hair became even more messy. "Wow…"

Carl looked away, feeling a tad self-conscious. "What is it?"

"Your body is amazing. You've gained a bit of muscle tone in the month we've been apart. I like it. I pressed him back against the bed. "Let me show you what I wanted to do when we were alone at the cabin."

I kissed him on the lips before trailing kisses down to his jaw, neck, and chest. I lightly licked his nipples, eliciting a loud, drawn out moan from him. I continued making my way down his body until I reached the waistband of his boxers. He was extremely aroused at this point; there was a dark spot at the tip of the bulge in his underwear and I could see the base of his cock through the small opening in them.

"Keep going." He pleaded.

"With gusto."

I helped him take off his boxers before tossing them into the pile of his clothes. I can say without any doubt that Carl looked breathtaking in this moment: his hair was strewn about messily atop the pillow, his skin had a light glow surrounding it because of the candle on the desk, his eyes were glossed over, his lips were pink and a tad swollen, and his chest was rising and falling a bit faster than its normal pace.

"You look amazing." I glided my hands up his inner thighs before scooting back a bit so I was positioned above his erect cock.

I licked my lips before slowly engulfing his length in my mouth all the way down to the base. Carl's back arched off the mattress and one of his hands found its way to my shoulder. I slid one of my hands up his side, stimulating him even more, before I slowly bobbed my head up and down. I applied light suction as well as used my tongue to lubricate his length.

"Shit…Tay…I-I feel…it feels amazing."

I kept my pace slow and even, giving Carl my best. I slowly pulled off him before moving to tease his balls with my tongue. I lightly prodded them before gently sucking them into my mouth. Carl covered his mouth, trying to keep quiet as I continued to tease him. I came up for a second to adjust my hair so it was out of the way.

"I've never…never seen you with your hair out of your face…"

I let my hair fall to my shoulders, feeling a tad self-conscious. "Do you not like it?"

"No! No…it's not that. I've never gotten a good look at your face. You're really cute."

"You're not just saying that because I'm sucking you off?"

"Not at all."

"Thank you…" I blushed a bit before I finished tying my hair back.

I licked my lips before getting back to the task at hand. I pressed Carl's cock through the loosely formed seal, putting up a bit of resistance when I did, before letting him slide into my throat. "Fuck." He drawled out.

I kept up a steady, even pace for a bit before I sped up. I fondled his balls a bit as I bobbed up and down and I could feel the orgasm building inside him. His strangled moans grew a bit louder until a small whine escaped his mouth. That was it, he came hard down my throat and I swallowed every drop. It felt like he was emptying a lifetime supply of his seed into my mouth but I didn't pull away until he was finished.

"God…that was…wow…"

"I aim to please." I said licking my lips.

"You have impeccable aim…I think I'm done for the night…"

"I figured you would be. It's okay, I'm guessing this was your first sexual experience?"

"Yeah…never even masturbated before."

"Jesus, Carl. That's something everyone's done at some point…but I guess if you've gone through puberty during the apocalypse you don't have the time." I climbed over him to retrieve his boxers from the pile of his clothes and tossed them to him before climbing back into bed.

"Thanks." He slid his underwear back on before relaxing next to me. I propped my head up using my left arm before taking a long look at the adorable young man lying next to me. "What?"

"Just…happy."

"Me too." His gaze drifted down to my forearm then to my shoulder. "So…about your tattoos."

"I was wondering when you'd ask."

"What are the dates on your arm?"

I glanced fondly at the slightly faded ink on my right shoulder. "Mom and grandma's birthday."

"That's really sweet."

"The two most influential women in my life deserved to be honored in such a way."

"Agreed. Your mom is a wonderful woman."

"That she is…" I trailed off. I could recall all the times that she'd scolded me but it was always out of love and trying to get me to be a good person or learn a lesson.

"What about this?" He asked, trailing his fingertips over the crosshatched pattern of diamonds on my forearm.

"Harley Quinn diamonds."

"They look tattered."

"That's how I wanted them. I didn't lose any skin, I asked the artist to do it that way, make it look like I'd had it for years."

"They did a great job. Anymore I haven't seen?"

"Just one." I moved my hair away from my neck and leaned down to show him my third tattoo.

"What is it? It looks Chinese."

"Japanese actually." I said sitting up again. "It's the character for water."

"Why water?"

"My favorite element. It also aligns with my zodiac sign. It kind of represents how I am in life, I go with the flow, I'm fluid, I can be ferocious and powerful or…" I trailed the back of my hand down his cheek "I can be cool and gentle."

He smiled up at me before leaning forward to kiss me. I let him press his lips against mine, initiating a steady make out session. His arms loosely draped around my neck as our lips rocked against one another's. My hands found his sides, slowly ghosting up them. I nudged him gently as I rolled onto my back, signaling him to get on top of me. He happily obliged, straddling my hips and settling into a comfortable position.

My hands found purchase in his soft, deep brown locks. I lightly tugged at them, eliciting a slight moan from the boy on top of me. He slowly pulled away from me and upon peering deep into his eyes, I saw tears forming in them.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?"

He scooted back so I could sit up and look at him. He pulled me into a tight hug, shaking a bit as he let his emotions overtake him. "Please don't leave me again."

I hugged him as tight as I could. "I'm sorry…I really am. I know I hurt you but I really thought I was doing something that was best for you. I see now that that it hurt you more than it helped you." I squeezed him tighter. "Please…forgive me."

I felt droplets fall onto my back and his grip tighten. "I forgive you…I missed you so much and I wondered what I did to push you away…I thought about you every day…the songs in that playlist…they said everything I wanted to say to you and more…"

"Shhh...I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

He pulled away from me just enough to press his forehead to mine. He took my hand in his before bringing it up to his lips. "You swear?"

"I swear." I wiped away his tears with my free hand before slowly pressing kisses to both of his cheeks. "Come on, we've had a long day." I reached over to the chair beside the bed, grabbing my phone and handing it to Carl. "Let's get some sleep."

He nodded slowly before shifting into a comfortable spot with his back towards me. I slid in behind him, pulling him against my chest. He started the song that he'd wanted to listen to before we went to sleep and upon hearing it, my heart dropped.

"I love this song…"

"All I could picture was your face when I first heard it."

He was playing 'Love Me Like You Do', a song that held a special place in my heart. I hugged him tighter, knowing just how much I meant to him and I silently promised myself to never make him feel this way again, I never wanted to see the young man I had wrapped in my arms cry ever again. So from this day forward, I would bring him nothing but joy and happiness.

I woke up early the next morning. I stared at my surroundings for a while before letting my gaze drift towards the still slumbering form lying next to me. I smiled softly as I ran my fingers through his disheveled, dark brown locks. I climbed over him and got dressed for a morning training session. I headed downstairs, dressed in my jeans, a black tank top, my gauntlet, and my boots with my gun on my belt and bat in my hands.

"Morning." Michonne greeted from her position beside a window.

"Morning. How long you been up?"

"An hour or so. Didn't sleep well."

"Nervous about sleeping around people you don't know?"

"A bit."

"Understandably so."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"What I said about your mom back when we first met…I get it now. Had I known I would have rephrased what I wanted to say."

"Water under the bridge. I was being a tad disrespectful so…I'm sorry too."

"Apology accepted. Where ya headed?"

"Out, to train for a bit."

"Mind if I tag along?"

I smirked playfully at her. "Only if you let me use your sword, it's been ages since I've used one."

"Alright. I'll let you use her, try and show me something I've never seen though."

"Fine, that'll be easy. Come on."

Michonne and I headed out and opted for a spot with a view of the water. I set my things down and began to stretch a bit before doing a warm up series of punches and kicks and shifting into practicing combinations. I started reviewing my forms, messing up a tiny bit each time and redoing them until I was content before taking a breather.

Michonne had been silently watching me, analyzing my movements. I sat cross-legged in front of her for a moment, letting my heart rate decrease before starting up again. "You're pretty good."

"Really? Ya think so?"

"I know a capable fighter when I see one."

"I appreciate the praise. If you want, I can show you the sword forms I know."

"I'd appreciate that."

"We could spar too if you want."

"Gonna have to take a raincheck on that."

"Fair enough." I chuckled. I rose to my feet before holding my hand out towards her. "May I?" She timidly handed me her sword and I couldn't help but marvel at its beauty and feel nostalgic, recalling my days with a real sword. "She's gorgeous. Let's begin."

I began teaching her the ten step sequence of moves I had learned when I was just becoming a martial artist and she picked up on that pretty quickly. I had her practice with me a few times to make sure she had it down before I taught her the 9 points of attack that I had also learned. I used may gauntlets to block her strikes and after about an hour of training together, I did a bit of physical conditioning before we headed back.

"You did well today. I wanted to mention that you should do angled strikes because katanas aren't meant to cleave through entire bodies, they can get stuck or break, so angled slashes are best if you wish to avoid shattering that beauty on your back." We strode into the door of our current residence, tired after a good day of training.

"Got it. I appreciate the help."

"I appreciate you making sure my idiot stayed alive."

"Who are you calling an idiot?" Carl shouted as he descended the stairs.

"You." I chuckled before walking over to him and pecking him lightly on the cheek.

"How am I an idiot?"

"You just are."

"Dumbass."

"Carl." Michonne scolded.

"Sorry."

I pulled him into a hug, poking fun at how he was still on a leash even though he was 18. "You're so cute." I cooed.

Carl chuckled, trying to pull away from me. "Get off me."

"Nuh-uh, Puddin'. Not gonna happen."

"Jesus you two, get a room." Michonne quipped sarcastically.

I looked at Carl and I knew both of us thought back to last night because we both started laughing uncontrollably. Carl settled down enough to give me an actual good morning kiss. "You still got enough energy to spar with me today?"

"Of course I do. I made sure I would."

"We heading back out to spar?" He asked excitedly.

"I was thinking we could spar on the docks."

"Why the docks?"

"Sparring on a narrow strip of land will make you more aware of your surroundings, step too far one way or the other and you end up in the drink."

"Understood."

"Good morning." Mom said as she descended the stairs. I trotted over to her, hugging her tight and kissing her on the cheek.

"Morning. How'd you sleep?"

"Better than I have in a while. What are you guys up to?"

"Michonne joined me for a morning training session and now Carl and I are about to spar. Wanna watch?"

"Sure. I've never actually seen you fight in person. Oh, should I go wake the girls?"

"Let 'em sleep, they've earned a reprieve from the action. Besides, they know I can fight."

"Can I watch?" We all whirled around to see my estranged father standing at the foot of the stairs. "It'd be nice to not be on the receiving end of your punches and kicks, I could actually see what they look like." He chuckled dryly.

Everyone looked at me for confirmation and after looking between my mother and Carl a few times, I nodded before walking towards the docks. I stood with my back towards the water, feeling the spray of the ocean as the waves crashed against the cement below my feet. It was quite refreshing seeing as how it was the tail end of August. Carl stood before me, waiting for me to give him the signal for us to begin.

"You ready, Puddin'? I'm not going to pull as many punches this time."

"I wouldn't want you to." He replied confidently.

"Be careful you two!" My mom warned. I nodded towards her before focusing on Carl.

"Alright…BEGIN!"

"And that's the match." Michonne chuckled as I sent Carl flying into the water.

Soon after his head dipped below the water, he resurfaced, gasping for air. "You did that on purpose!"

I knelt down at the edge of the dock "I told you, the idea was to be more mindful of your surroundings. I let you back me up to the edge a couple of times to make you think I couldn't keep up with you." I offered him my hand then pulled him out of the water before I continued. "It was a mind game, my dear."

"Is that why the first time I could have fallen in, you stepped around me and grabbed my wrist before I went in?"

"Mmhmm, I wanted you to be more careful but you fell for my ploy." I moved some of his hair out of his face, chuckling a bit. "You look like a wet rat."

"Shut up, like you look any better fresh out of the water."

"Well if you had fought a little better you might have been able to see." I winked at him before patting him on the back. "Come on, let's go get you dried off."

"That was amazing!"

"Thanks mom."

"Very impressive, son."

I hesitated for a second. "Thank you, Dino."

I heard him sigh as Carl and I walked into the building. "I wasn't expecting much but hearing my own son address me with my first name is kind of a hard pill to swallow."

"I know it's hard, maybe he'll come around but you know you dug this hole yourself." I heard mom say.

"I know…"

After we got upstairs and behind closed doors, Carl began to shed his soaked clothes, wringing them out in the sink in the corner. "So what's the story with your father?"

I paused, midway through retrieving a fresh change of clothes for him. I thought carefully about his question before sighing and scratching the back of my neck. "That's…a long story."

He shed his underwear, wringing them out before hanging them on the window sill. "I've got time."

"But not the clothing, get dressed so I don't get distracted."

He chuckled shyly before taking his fresh clothes from me and dressing in them. I sat on the bed with my back to the wall and as soon as Carl was dressed, he joined me, placing his head on my lap and staring up at me with those mesmerizing eyes of his.

"Comfy?"

"Very."

"Alright…where do I start?"

"Usually the beginning."

"Shut up, smartass. Well…as a child I never really knew how to feel about him. I was raised by my mom and occasionally my father would take me to his place for a night or two and I would just sorta…be there. I had to entertain myself and I became independent at a young age because of him. I tried to feed myself because whenever I got up, I was the only one awake for hours. As I got older he was in my life less and I didn't know how to feel about it…it just was how it was. I was fine with it for the most part until kids would start talking about what their dad did for them that day or the previous week and I just couldn't relate."

"Go on." He said as he gently took my hand.

"I lied. I began lying about things he did so I'd fit in, so I'd feel…normal. I thought I loved him like I should love a parent. Then that changed when he spanked me for running across the street. It was night, I was on the street I lived on and I could see the place mom and I stayed in. I looked both ways before darting out into the desolate street and up to the front door to ring the bell. He was pissed but I didn't understand why, I had done everything right, looked both ways twice, ran full speed across the street and got to the front door in one piece. Anyway…that's when everything between us began to change. I was more fearful of him. Sure, I'd been spanked but never by him."

"I'm…I'm sorry…"

"I'll save you the in-between stuff and hit key events: Him slamming me against a wall repeatedly after a slight tiff with my grade school best friend, him disowning my older brother after he came out, him promising to be at my 8th grade graduation and instead just popping by to give me something then leaving, for that one my aunt could have come and stayed so he screwed her over, then him trying to manipulate me into giving him a second chance because his health was declining."

"He seemed nice…"

"That's just the surface layer he uses to weasel his way in. In summation, we have history between us and after seeing him for the first time in years…"

"You snapped."

"Exactly."

"So…where do you stand after your talk with him?"

"Neutral ground. I don't hate him but I don't love him. He's just here. I'm being civil for my mom's sake."

"Would you ever kill him?"

I looked down at him, a bit shocked by the boldness of his question. "I told him that if he came between us, my friends, or me and mom, we'd have problems but killing him wasn't what I would have done to resolve the situation. I'd only kill him if he was an immediate threat or turned." I looked deeply into Carl's eyes to let him know how serious I was. "If he ever laid a finger on any of you, I'd have his head on a pike before you could blink."

"Wow, so romantic."

"Shut up. You wanted to know the story between us and now you know."

"Well…he's not all bad."

"How do you figure?"

"He's half the reason you're here."

"Wow that was corny." I chuckled, leaning down towards him.

"It worked though." He met me halfway, kissing me softly a few times. "Thank you for telling me. You didn't have to but I'm glad you did."

"Thank you for listening."

"Anytime."

"Come on, let's go see if mom needs any help with chores around this place."

"Roger that. Oh, did I mention I learned how to drive?"

"Guessing Michonne taught you?" He nodded quickly. "Nice, now I don't have to be your chauffer when we go out on runs."

"Speaking of which, we should go see if we need to go on one today."

"You don't wanna fool around for a bit first?" I chuckled as I let my hands roam his lower body.

His breath hitched in his throat as my hands found their way up his inner thighs. "Trying to mess up my fresh change of clothes, are we?"

"Maybe a little."

"Can it wait until after we do chores?"

I peered down at the bulge in his jeans. "Maybe I should be asking you that."

He leaned upwards, kissing me a bit roughly before pulling away. "It'll be worth the wait." With that he quickly got up and strode out of the room.

"Geeze, the things I do for him."

We sought out my mom and asked if she needed any work done around the compound or if she needed us to go on a run. She told us that the fishing nets needed to be brought in and the crab traps needed to be checked and that we would have to take over guard duty in a couple of hours. She also told us the needed us to drive into town and look for a few things that we were low on.

After being relayed our orders, Carl and I set out to complete our tasks, starting with the fishing nets and crab traps. We hauled in about 10 pounds of fish and enough crab for everyone but instead of killing them right away, we placed them in a holding pond mom and Dino made to keep the fish alive and potentially breed them.

After rehoming our catch, we relieved Brittany and Michonne from their posts, standing guard for a few hours before lunch was brought out to us. Carl and I scanned the horizon for any potential threats, spotting a few walkers tumbling over the hills near the compound. I made eye contact with Carl before nodding towards the minor threat meandering towards us.

"You wanna take care of this?"

"How about I cover you this time."

"You…you serious?"

"I think you're good enough to handle 3 walkers on your own. Go get 'em, tiger."

Carl tossed me his AR before jogging towards the walkers. He readied himself for the first walker's attack, meanwhile, I had the same shambling corpse in the crosshairs of my rifle, ready to intervene if Carl got into a bind. He ducked under the reanimated body as it lunged under him, flipping it onto it's back as he stood. He then swept his leg towards the second walked, taking out it's decaying limbs before he drew his knife and wedged it in the third walker's temple. He turned around and drove his heel into the second walker's skull before driving his knee upwards into the first one's chin shortly before delivering a firm kick to its chest. After it landed, he moved in to finish it, stabbing it between the eyes then wrenching his knife from its skull.

He shot me a jubilant smile before chuckling a bit. "I did it!"

"That's my man! I knew you could do it!" He ran over to me, his smile still shining brightly on his face. "Never doubted you for a second."

"Thanks for the bode of confidence."

I pecked him on the cheek before handing him his gun. "Hey." I heard a female voice call out.

We both turned around to see Camille and Dino approaching us. "Your mother said we were to relieve you two from watch duty."

"Well you missed all the excitement. We'll head inside after we clean up."

"Want us to give you a hand?" I looked at my father for a second before agreeing to accept his offer. He helped up drag the bodies to the spot we burn them before rejoining Camille for their shift.

"He's trying." Carl said as he set the small pile of bodies on fire.

"I know. So am I but I still feel like it's a farce, ya know?"

"Well…after being let down so many times…I get it. You're scared if you let him back in that you'll just get hurt again."

"Precisely." We stood in silence for a few minutes, watching the flames slowly roast the charring corpses. I felt Carl take my hand and lace our fingers together and an eerie calm washed over.

"Thank you for trying." That simple utterance had an immense effect on me, sometimes…just having someone acknowledge that you are actually trying is the best thing that can happen. Even if you fail, even if it feels like you're not doing enough, having someone recognize that you are, in fact, doing enough in a difficult situation, is more than you could ever hope for.

Carl POV

"Hey…you awake?"

I felt Tay stir a bit next to me. "I am now. What's up?"

"Can't really sleep."

"Something on your mind?"

"The past…"

"That's no good." He said in his slightly alluring I-just-woke-up voice. His arm snaked around my midsection, pulling me a bit closer to him. "Wanna talk about it?"

I wanted to tell him about dad but I wasn't up for the wave of emotions that came with it. "Have you ever wondered what happened to your friends from college after you guys parted ways?"

"A lot, yeah. But I have faith in them. I know that they're okay."

"But you aren't 100% certain because you haven't seen them."

Silence briefly filled the room before he spoke again. "This about your people from the prison?"

"Yes…I've always wondered what happened to them."

"Have faith in them."

I stared blankly into the darkness, pondering his statement; he said it like it was the easiest thing in the world to do. I didn't know how to though, I was so worried about Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Daryl, Tyrese, Sasha, Bob…everyone I had known at the prison was out there in the world, fighting to survive but I had no clue where they were.

"How…how do I-"

"You kinda just do. You look back at how they survived as long as they did and you kind of…just know they'll be okay. I can't explain it but there's this feeling in my heart that I know the people I was friends with will be okay, that they will survive."

"I think I felt that when you left."

He squeezed me a bit tighter. "See…you knew I'd be alright, you based your search for me on that one assumption. What if I didn't even make it out of the city? You still had faith that I was alive…it's just like that. Just sort of this blind hope that the people on your mind will be okay."

We sat in silence once more, nothing but the sound of our breathing and the waves crashing on the shore nearby filled the room. "Do you miss them?"

"All the time."

"Me too…"

"It's okay to miss them."

"You…you missed me when you left, right?"

He sat up slowly and gently turned my head so I was looking at him. "I didn't even make it out of the bed before I started to miss you. I wanted to turn around every second that I was walking, ever second that I was driving…of course I missed you."

"I missed you too." He kissed me ever so softly, letting his hand cup my cheek as he did.

He pulled away after a moment or two then pressed his forehead to mine. "Feel better?"

"A lot better. Sorry I woke you."

"Hey, if I can't be there for stuff like this, what kind of boyfriend would I be? Don't you remember our first night together? I barely knew you and I was there for you."

I laughed a little before nodding. "You're right…You don't think I'm being silly?"

"Not in the least."

"I needed that…thank you."

"You're welcome. Now get that sexy ass of yours some sleep, mom needs us to go on a run tomorrow."

I let my smile grow wider as I settled into a comfortable spot on our bed, shortly after, I felt his arms snake around me. One of his hands found mine and that's how I slept, with our fingers interlaced, a set of warm arms around me, and a smile playing at my lips. It was honestly one of the best night's sleep I'd had in a while.