Author's Note: You know, I had really planned on waiting to write more of this before putting up a new chapter, but what the heck, y'all' s comments have been so nice. Here's a new (short) chapter. And just so everyone knows… this is NOT a death fic. I love my dear Castle too much to kill him. At least in this story. :P

In the waiting room Beckett paced nervously around the orderly chairs and couches. She'd tried sitting, but she needed to move. If Castle was fighting for his life in there, the least she could do was move.

Beckett had called Martha and Alexis as soon as she'd gotten to the hospital. She was ashamed that she'd nearly forgotten them. They now sat together, huddled on one of the couches. Alexis was crying. She'd been crying since she'd gotten there. Martha had once again reduced Beckett to tears on the phone. She had been disbelieving, and then hysterical. She now sat with her arm around Alexis and her face distant and stoic. Kate couldn't imagine what she would do without her son.

Kate couldn't imagine what she was going to do if something happened to Castle.

Josh had come by the waiting room earlier. He'd heard about Castle and he knew how much it would impact Kate. He'd pulled her into his arms and she had let him hold her. She'd hidden her face in his chest and for a moment, she had felt better. There was nothing sexual about the embrace. No charged feelings involved. Josh was just a source of much needed comfort. He'd left soon after getting a call that he was needed for surgery.

Now she needed some air. The only update they'd gotten was that Castle was in very serious condition and that he'd been taken straight into surgery. The internal bleeding was bad. They shouldn't be too optimistic. The doctor had given them that notice nearly an hour ago. Now they had to wait. Just wait. Beckett definitely needed some air.

She rushed out of the room, past Ryan and Esposito, who sat silently in two of the chairs, and headed for the outdoors. As soon as Beckett walked out of the hospital, she was hit with a surge of reporters. She had walked right into a hoard of them. "What is the news on Richard Castle?" "How is Castle?" "How have you been affected by Richard Castle's injury?" "Have you spoken to Mr. Castle?"

Questions surrounded her and despite her usual level-headed approach to situations like this, Beckett panicked. She turned and ran back into the hospital, ignoring every question. She ran and more or less held it together until she'd gotten to a bathroom.

There she crumpled to the ground and finally allowed herself to sob. With gasping breaths, she allowed herself to completely feel the situation for the first time. She cried for Castle. For his family. For herself. She cried for everyone that was affected by this, and there were a lot of people. When the door opened suddenly, she quickly tried to pull herself together.

Beckett rubbed her eyes and stood up with alarming speed. When she saw who was in the doorway, she relaxed again. Alexis Castle stared back at her.

The look of pure anguish and worry on the teenager's face brought a crashing revelation crashing into Kate's mind.

This was her fault.

All of it. Everything was completely and totally her fault. She was the reason Castle had been in danger. If she hadn't rushed to him for comfort, he wouldn't have been in the restaurant. If she hadn't always needed him. Always relied on him. Always trusted him to make her feel better and fix everything. This never would have happened. She had caused all of this. And if Rick Castle died, then Kate Beckett would be responsible. And she would never, ever forgive herself.

"Alexis," She said, her eyes still full with tears. "I am so sorry."

Alexis didn't speak. For a moment she only stared and Kate was afraid that she would just walk away, but then the girl stepped forward and threw her arms around Beckett.

She pulled her into a silent hug and Kate could feel the girl's tears wet on her shoulder. They cried together like that for a moment, both completely vulnerable. Beckett was aware of just how extraordinary Alexis was. Instead of needing the comfort, she was comforting Beckett. Castle had raised an amazing girl. Just as Kate was releasing her hold on Alexis, she heard the girl whisper in her ear. "He made it through the surgery. I came to tell you."

Beckett pushed the girl away slightly to study her face. Alexis smiled very slightly and Kate found herself hugging Castle's daughter again, even tighter this time.

The girls smiled together in relief. They had shared their grief, and now sharing happiness seemed just as comfortable.

Of course, they weren't completely out of the woods yet and Castle would have a ridiculous amount of recovering to do no matter what happened, but he was alive for now. He was strong, stubborn, and alive. Kate Beckett knew he would be okay. He would fight through this the way he fought through everything.

In that moment Beckett had another interesting revelation. All she wanted to do was burst into Castle's room, close the door, and kiss him. She wanted to kiss him because he was alive. Because he was always there. Because he was still there, even after being shot. He would always be there. All Kate wanted to do was kiss the childish, immature, handsome, charming man that only hours ago she was sure would be dead right now.

This revelation scared her.

Author's Note: I hope you all enjoyed! Again, this wasn't a chapter I'd originally planned on even including, but it just felt right. I had fun writing the emotional Beckett stuff. I relate to her so it's always fun to explore her character. Please review! Your comments always make me want to write and get things up faster! Thanks!