Kabuto yawned. He was downright exhausted. The whole previous night he has
spent doing some mindless experiments on Kidoumaru, trying to get rid of
the coarse hair growth on his legs. Of course, all means of hair removal
were of no avail and Kabuto has promised the weeping freak that he'll come
up with something nice and permanent. Those experiments kept him up for the
rest of the night. He yawned again and took off his glasses to rub his
eyes.
This isn't the first night, Orochimaru's lackey has spent toiling away on some nameless experiment no one is going to appreciate ever. Maybe aside from Kidoumaru, but who cared about Kidoumaru. He was freaky and had eight arms. And spat some junk that turned into a spider web, mixture of mucus and chakra. Wasn't HE the most attractive thing ever... Kabuto shook his head and went over his notes again. There was ABSOLUTELY nothing he could think of, except for waxing. Maybe if he mixed some numbing medicine into the hot wax it wouldn't be such a big deal. He opened a bottle of Novocain and pushed the business end of the syringe into it.
"You know" Kabuto thought to himself. "I could have been a good doctor. A Surgeon General maybe, have I stayed in Konoha. I would have been rich and famous. And the chicks would throw themselves onto me.. Throw!!" He extracted all of the liquid from the bottle and pierced the cap of another, bigger bottle, and began slowly mix two liquids. "I could have made ... some astonishing discovery! But nooooooo. Orochimaru sama HAD to leave the village. Now I am stuck here, inventing some magic hair removal potion for Kidoumaru."
"Mr. I hate pain, Kidoumaru. I don't know what's wrong with regular wax anyway. Sakon waxes and so does Kimmimarou. Well, Kimmimarou is constantly in a coma, so it's not like he feels anything. But if it wasn't for this wax, we'd be drowning in hair. Man, is that guy ever hairy."
Having emptied the syringe, Kabuto threw it into a special disposal box and began shaking the bottle, to mix the liquids properly.
"You know I could have MADE something out of myself.!! But NYOOO! I had to follow Orochimaru! What's the deal with Kidoumaru anyway? Why does he think he's better than the rest of us? Could have used regular wax you know..."
Kabuto wanted to say something really awful in Orochimaru's expense, when suddenly the door to the lab burst open and one of the guard nins flew in. He bowed to Kabuto in a hurry.
"Kabuto-sama. Please, please come quick. Orochimaru-sama is senile again! He's being violent and vicious!! Please, come quick, Kabuto-sama!!"
"He's what???" Kabuto glanced at the calendar. Today was Tuesday. It was loooong day away from being the Loony Bin Thursday.
"Please, Kabuto-sama. Hurry!!"
Kabuto glanced at his medicine cabinet.
"I think I gave him the right medication today. I shouldn't have screwed up...too badly."
"Kabuto-sama!!!" The guard urged.
Kabuto waived his hand.
"Hai, hai. I'm coming, I'm coming. Give me a moment though. Very violent he is, you say?"
"Very, Kabuto-sama. VERY!!! He's been screaming on top of his lungs for the past hour or so."
"And you JUST got me???"
Kabuto glared at the guard, tearing away from the search for the missing sedative and some tranquilizer darts.
"Well, Kabuto sama...we wanted too.."
Kabuto waived his hand again.
"Ah. Here we go." He happily grabbed a box and followed the guard outside.
The sun made Kabuto's eyes water.
"Damn sun." He thought to himself as he crossed the yard from the entrance to the labs to the entrance to the building where the Kage currently resided. Otokage that is. But before he was even close enough to see Orochimaru-sama, a wave of curses that would make a sailor blush attacked his ears. Kabuto stopped and jerked his head up.
"That *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* WHORE!!!! How *beep* *beep* *beep* dare she *beep* touch my *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* vessel!!!"
The guard did the same thing as Kabuto, and at the end of that sentence he gave Kabuto a guilty look. As if all of this was solely his fault.
"You see what I mean?" He asked.
Kabuto raised his eyebrow.
"What is he cursing about?"
"The morning paper."
"The morning paper?"
"That's correct sir." The guard handed Kabuto a copy. There, on the front page, in big letters were the news from other villages.
"And today, in Sunagakure, the Kage's family was happy to announce the pregnancy of the young Kazekage from her long time boyfriend, Uchiha Sasuke. The couple is going to be married in a lavished ceremony..."
"*beep*" Kabuto cursed. "WHAT the *beep* is this *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*??? All that time that I was *beep* her, not ONCE did she *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* get pregnant!!! And then she *beep* *beep* *beep* with *beep* *beep* Sasuke and what do you know?!! A *beep* *beep* *beep* baby!!!"
Kabuto didn't even try to hide his displeasure. Suddenly, the cursing from upstairs has stopped.
"IS that *beep* you, Kabuto?" Orochimaru inquired.
"Yes, Orochimaru-sama. It is *beep* me."
"What the *beep* is your problem? Why are you cursing like a *beep* pirate?"
"I just read the *beep* *beep* *beep* morning newspaper!"
"You have a problem with the *beep* article too?" "*beep* yeah I do!! *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* Sasuke should *beep**beep* keep his *beep* where it belongs! In his *beep* pants!!"
Orochimaru-sama appeared in the opened window and leaned down on the window still. He was looking straight at Kabuto, while the good doctor was looking up. Orochimaru's face expressed dismay.
"I can't *beep* believe you, Kabuto!! You're siding with that *beep* whore!!!"
"Whore???? She's not the *beep* *beep* whore in THIS story, Orochimaru sama. With all *beep* due respect sir!!"
"Not a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore???? Are you *beep* *beep* *beep* mentally *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* challenged??? She's the *beep**beep* biggest whore of the whole *beep* *beep* *beep* village!!"
"Takes one to know one, Orochimaru-sama!! She's NOT a *beep* *beep* *beep* whore!"
"If she's not a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore, than I don't know WHO *beep* *beep* *beep* is!!"
"Rather was, Orochimaru sama!! Your *beep* *beep* *beep* mother was a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore!"
"How *beep* *beep* dare say that about my *beep* *beep* *beep* mother!!" Orochimaru clenched his fist and shook it at Kabuto from the height of his window.
"I'm just stating the *beep* fact, Orochimaru sama!!"
"Well at least she didn't *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* abandon me!!"
"She couldn't have! She was too *beep* *beep* *beep* busy *beep* *beep* *beep* the whole Konoha zoo, ya *beep* *beep* freak of nature!!"
Orochiamru's mouth opened in surprise.
"Well shows how much YOU *beep* know, you *beep* bookworm! She didn't *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* the whole zoo. That's a *beep* filthy rumor!! She only managed to *beep* get into the cages with the *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* snakes! And you *beep* know it, Kabuto!!"
"That's not what your *beep* birth certificate stated!!"
"How DARE you *beep* *beep* *beep* side with that *beep* *beep* *beep* whore? How dare she *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* touch my *beep* *beep* *beep* vessel??? My *beep* *beep* *beep* poor, *beep* innocent Sasuke!!"
"Innocent? Yeah, *beep* right!!"
"You're just as *beep* horrible as that *beep* *beep* *beep* girl, Kabuto!!!"
"And that's coming from the man who *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* everything and anything with legs and a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* hole! Anything that'll stand *beep* still long enough for you to *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* it!!!!"
"Well, at least I *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* get some! And don't have to *beep* *beep* *beep* clone my *beep* *beep* *beep* partners!!!"
"No, but most of YOUR *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* partners are in a need of heart jump start when you *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* them!!"
"Kabuto, you're a *beep* *beep* ungrateful *beep* *beep* short sighted *beep* little punk"
"I'd describe you but *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* language doesn't have enough *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* words in it!!!!"
That was the last drop. Orochimaru angrily moved away from the window and shut it closed. Kabuto clenched his fists, boiling inside. He couldn't believe that Orochimaru made him loose his cool, just like that. Suddenly the window opened back up.
"Bring me my *beep* *beep* *beep* paper and pens, I'm going to *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* write a *beep* *beep* *beep* letter to that *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore and my vessel."
The window shut closed again.
Letter 5. "Dear little vessel, Sasuke.
How the *beep* *beep* *beep* on *beep* green Earth did you *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* manage to *beep* *beep* *beep* knock that *beep* *beep* girl up??? I created you to be pure and as soon as I *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* let you out of my *beep* *beep* *beep* sight what do you do? HUH????? You *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* idiot!!! You manage to *beep* *beep* knock up a girl!! And that *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* girl *beep* of all the Sand Village women!!
A WEDDING??? Whoever the *beep* gave you that *beep* *beep* *beep* idea???!! Have you completely lost your *beep* puny *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* little mind??? A wedding??? What the *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* to being a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* avenger? Are you going to *beep* abandon that too, just like you *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* abandoned my *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* village?
And I trusted you!! I took great *beep* care of your *beep* body and that *beep* wonderful Sharingan of yours!! I trained you!! I *beep* *beep* took CARE of you!! I let you *beep* play with SAKON!! SAKON! I NEVER, EVER let ANYONE play with *beep* *beep* *beep* Sakon!! And this is how you repay me?? You *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* ingrate!! And to add insult to injury you didn't even *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* bother send me the wedding invitations!!! I hope you know that you're marrying a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore!! Shut up Kabuto! My mother wasn't a *beep* *beep* whore! What? Why you *beep* *beep* *beep* pathetic bookworm!! Now look what you *beep* made me write, you *beep* *beep* *beep*!!! Sincerely yours, Orochimaru-sama.
P.S. I'm sending some poison with the letter. Make sure you put it to a good use. Oh, and once you and that *beep* *beep* *beep* is dead, can the kid come live with me?
Letter 6,
Dear, old, cold and wrinkly Orochimaru-sama.
Thanks for your concern! You *beep* made my *beep* day when I read your letter!! Never have I EVER felt more love in the room! As far as me, knocking up Temari... well that wasn't my fault. I did use protection. The "Little Avenger" brand of condoms. So, any sex accidents resulting in a baby, marriage and future life in hell should be taken up with Itachi. Oh, yeah I *beep* forgot, you're scared *beep* of him!! It's not like I'm enjoying this you know. And besides, you're nothing but a two faced, two timing liar. All you ever did was give me excruciating pain and nothing more. Stronger! HA! Your advertisement sucks more than the "Little Avenger" commercials.
I never lost my mind!! I told you, it was an accident!! How was I suppose to know that my brother is not only a lousy liar he's also a lousy condom maker!! You must be using the Hyuga brand; I haven't seen any other freaks of nature running around just yet. Lucky you. I'm still an avenger! But that's now a part time job. I'm getting ready to be a father, which would always be my full time priority. Well, at least until the kid is 18.
And it wasn't me who refused you invitations. It was Temari. She kept on saying how and I quote "How much of a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* that man is! Of course he's not *beep* *beep* *beep* invited! What the *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* are we going to do with that freak?" She also said if you call her a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore once more time she's going to shove her *beep* *beep* fan up your *beep* *beep* *beep* ass sideways.
Angst fully yours, Sasuke.
P.S. We gave poison to Kankuro. You *beep* old liar! It didn't DO anything! The baby is going to be an Avenger! No time for silly vacations!!
This isn't the first night, Orochimaru's lackey has spent toiling away on some nameless experiment no one is going to appreciate ever. Maybe aside from Kidoumaru, but who cared about Kidoumaru. He was freaky and had eight arms. And spat some junk that turned into a spider web, mixture of mucus and chakra. Wasn't HE the most attractive thing ever... Kabuto shook his head and went over his notes again. There was ABSOLUTELY nothing he could think of, except for waxing. Maybe if he mixed some numbing medicine into the hot wax it wouldn't be such a big deal. He opened a bottle of Novocain and pushed the business end of the syringe into it.
"You know" Kabuto thought to himself. "I could have been a good doctor. A Surgeon General maybe, have I stayed in Konoha. I would have been rich and famous. And the chicks would throw themselves onto me.. Throw!!" He extracted all of the liquid from the bottle and pierced the cap of another, bigger bottle, and began slowly mix two liquids. "I could have made ... some astonishing discovery! But nooooooo. Orochimaru sama HAD to leave the village. Now I am stuck here, inventing some magic hair removal potion for Kidoumaru."
"Mr. I hate pain, Kidoumaru. I don't know what's wrong with regular wax anyway. Sakon waxes and so does Kimmimarou. Well, Kimmimarou is constantly in a coma, so it's not like he feels anything. But if it wasn't for this wax, we'd be drowning in hair. Man, is that guy ever hairy."
Having emptied the syringe, Kabuto threw it into a special disposal box and began shaking the bottle, to mix the liquids properly.
"You know I could have MADE something out of myself.!! But NYOOO! I had to follow Orochimaru! What's the deal with Kidoumaru anyway? Why does he think he's better than the rest of us? Could have used regular wax you know..."
Kabuto wanted to say something really awful in Orochimaru's expense, when suddenly the door to the lab burst open and one of the guard nins flew in. He bowed to Kabuto in a hurry.
"Kabuto-sama. Please, please come quick. Orochimaru-sama is senile again! He's being violent and vicious!! Please, come quick, Kabuto-sama!!"
"He's what???" Kabuto glanced at the calendar. Today was Tuesday. It was loooong day away from being the Loony Bin Thursday.
"Please, Kabuto-sama. Hurry!!"
Kabuto glanced at his medicine cabinet.
"I think I gave him the right medication today. I shouldn't have screwed up...too badly."
"Kabuto-sama!!!" The guard urged.
Kabuto waived his hand.
"Hai, hai. I'm coming, I'm coming. Give me a moment though. Very violent he is, you say?"
"Very, Kabuto-sama. VERY!!! He's been screaming on top of his lungs for the past hour or so."
"And you JUST got me???"
Kabuto glared at the guard, tearing away from the search for the missing sedative and some tranquilizer darts.
"Well, Kabuto sama...we wanted too.."
Kabuto waived his hand again.
"Ah. Here we go." He happily grabbed a box and followed the guard outside.
The sun made Kabuto's eyes water.
"Damn sun." He thought to himself as he crossed the yard from the entrance to the labs to the entrance to the building where the Kage currently resided. Otokage that is. But before he was even close enough to see Orochimaru-sama, a wave of curses that would make a sailor blush attacked his ears. Kabuto stopped and jerked his head up.
"That *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* WHORE!!!! How *beep* *beep* *beep* dare she *beep* touch my *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* vessel!!!"
The guard did the same thing as Kabuto, and at the end of that sentence he gave Kabuto a guilty look. As if all of this was solely his fault.
"You see what I mean?" He asked.
Kabuto raised his eyebrow.
"What is he cursing about?"
"The morning paper."
"The morning paper?"
"That's correct sir." The guard handed Kabuto a copy. There, on the front page, in big letters were the news from other villages.
"And today, in Sunagakure, the Kage's family was happy to announce the pregnancy of the young Kazekage from her long time boyfriend, Uchiha Sasuke. The couple is going to be married in a lavished ceremony..."
"*beep*" Kabuto cursed. "WHAT the *beep* is this *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep*??? All that time that I was *beep* her, not ONCE did she *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* get pregnant!!! And then she *beep* *beep* *beep* with *beep* *beep* Sasuke and what do you know?!! A *beep* *beep* *beep* baby!!!"
Kabuto didn't even try to hide his displeasure. Suddenly, the cursing from upstairs has stopped.
"IS that *beep* you, Kabuto?" Orochimaru inquired.
"Yes, Orochimaru-sama. It is *beep* me."
"What the *beep* is your problem? Why are you cursing like a *beep* pirate?"
"I just read the *beep* *beep* *beep* morning newspaper!"
"You have a problem with the *beep* article too?" "*beep* yeah I do!! *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* Sasuke should *beep**beep* keep his *beep* where it belongs! In his *beep* pants!!"
Orochimaru-sama appeared in the opened window and leaned down on the window still. He was looking straight at Kabuto, while the good doctor was looking up. Orochimaru's face expressed dismay.
"I can't *beep* believe you, Kabuto!! You're siding with that *beep* whore!!!"
"Whore???? She's not the *beep* *beep* whore in THIS story, Orochimaru sama. With all *beep* due respect sir!!"
"Not a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore???? Are you *beep* *beep* *beep* mentally *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* challenged??? She's the *beep**beep* biggest whore of the whole *beep* *beep* *beep* village!!"
"Takes one to know one, Orochimaru-sama!! She's NOT a *beep* *beep* *beep* whore!"
"If she's not a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore, than I don't know WHO *beep* *beep* *beep* is!!"
"Rather was, Orochimaru sama!! Your *beep* *beep* *beep* mother was a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore!"
"How *beep* *beep* dare say that about my *beep* *beep* *beep* mother!!" Orochimaru clenched his fist and shook it at Kabuto from the height of his window.
"I'm just stating the *beep* fact, Orochimaru sama!!"
"Well at least she didn't *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* abandon me!!"
"She couldn't have! She was too *beep* *beep* *beep* busy *beep* *beep* *beep* the whole Konoha zoo, ya *beep* *beep* freak of nature!!"
Orochiamru's mouth opened in surprise.
"Well shows how much YOU *beep* know, you *beep* bookworm! She didn't *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* the whole zoo. That's a *beep* filthy rumor!! She only managed to *beep* get into the cages with the *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* snakes! And you *beep* know it, Kabuto!!"
"That's not what your *beep* birth certificate stated!!"
"How DARE you *beep* *beep* *beep* side with that *beep* *beep* *beep* whore? How dare she *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* touch my *beep* *beep* *beep* vessel??? My *beep* *beep* *beep* poor, *beep* innocent Sasuke!!"
"Innocent? Yeah, *beep* right!!"
"You're just as *beep* horrible as that *beep* *beep* *beep* girl, Kabuto!!!"
"And that's coming from the man who *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* everything and anything with legs and a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* hole! Anything that'll stand *beep* still long enough for you to *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* it!!!!"
"Well, at least I *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* get some! And don't have to *beep* *beep* *beep* clone my *beep* *beep* *beep* partners!!!"
"No, but most of YOUR *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* partners are in a need of heart jump start when you *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* them!!"
"Kabuto, you're a *beep* *beep* ungrateful *beep* *beep* short sighted *beep* little punk"
"I'd describe you but *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* language doesn't have enough *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* words in it!!!!"
That was the last drop. Orochimaru angrily moved away from the window and shut it closed. Kabuto clenched his fists, boiling inside. He couldn't believe that Orochimaru made him loose his cool, just like that. Suddenly the window opened back up.
"Bring me my *beep* *beep* *beep* paper and pens, I'm going to *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* write a *beep* *beep* *beep* letter to that *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore and my vessel."
The window shut closed again.
Letter 5. "Dear little vessel, Sasuke.
How the *beep* *beep* *beep* on *beep* green Earth did you *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* manage to *beep* *beep* *beep* knock that *beep* *beep* girl up??? I created you to be pure and as soon as I *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* let you out of my *beep* *beep* *beep* sight what do you do? HUH????? You *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* idiot!!! You manage to *beep* *beep* knock up a girl!! And that *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* girl *beep* of all the Sand Village women!!
A WEDDING??? Whoever the *beep* gave you that *beep* *beep* *beep* idea???!! Have you completely lost your *beep* puny *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* little mind??? A wedding??? What the *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* to being a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* avenger? Are you going to *beep* abandon that too, just like you *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* abandoned my *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* village?
And I trusted you!! I took great *beep* care of your *beep* body and that *beep* wonderful Sharingan of yours!! I trained you!! I *beep* *beep* took CARE of you!! I let you *beep* play with SAKON!! SAKON! I NEVER, EVER let ANYONE play with *beep* *beep* *beep* Sakon!! And this is how you repay me?? You *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* ingrate!! And to add insult to injury you didn't even *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* bother send me the wedding invitations!!! I hope you know that you're marrying a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore!! Shut up Kabuto! My mother wasn't a *beep* *beep* whore! What? Why you *beep* *beep* *beep* pathetic bookworm!! Now look what you *beep* made me write, you *beep* *beep* *beep*!!! Sincerely yours, Orochimaru-sama.
P.S. I'm sending some poison with the letter. Make sure you put it to a good use. Oh, and once you and that *beep* *beep* *beep* is dead, can the kid come live with me?
Letter 6,
Dear, old, cold and wrinkly Orochimaru-sama.
Thanks for your concern! You *beep* made my *beep* day when I read your letter!! Never have I EVER felt more love in the room! As far as me, knocking up Temari... well that wasn't my fault. I did use protection. The "Little Avenger" brand of condoms. So, any sex accidents resulting in a baby, marriage and future life in hell should be taken up with Itachi. Oh, yeah I *beep* forgot, you're scared *beep* of him!! It's not like I'm enjoying this you know. And besides, you're nothing but a two faced, two timing liar. All you ever did was give me excruciating pain and nothing more. Stronger! HA! Your advertisement sucks more than the "Little Avenger" commercials.
I never lost my mind!! I told you, it was an accident!! How was I suppose to know that my brother is not only a lousy liar he's also a lousy condom maker!! You must be using the Hyuga brand; I haven't seen any other freaks of nature running around just yet. Lucky you. I'm still an avenger! But that's now a part time job. I'm getting ready to be a father, which would always be my full time priority. Well, at least until the kid is 18.
And it wasn't me who refused you invitations. It was Temari. She kept on saying how and I quote "How much of a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* that man is! Of course he's not *beep* *beep* *beep* invited! What the *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* are we going to do with that freak?" She also said if you call her a *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* *beep* whore once more time she's going to shove her *beep* *beep* fan up your *beep* *beep* *beep* ass sideways.
Angst fully yours, Sasuke.
P.S. We gave poison to Kankuro. You *beep* old liar! It didn't DO anything! The baby is going to be an Avenger! No time for silly vacations!!