Hey! I know it's been awhile. But I've been doing other things… Anyway this has a couple of spoilers for my Egoist Spoof. None of it has happened yet and I hope you don't mind. (Think of it as 2 updates for the price of one. Lol) (Note: I don't really like Fergie. She's okay, it's just not my music. But I heard this song the other day and it's still in my head so bare with me! Lol)

--

Let me bring you up to speed. Okay, remember the last time I wrote in this stupid journal? Well, yeah, it's only a page back. Anyway, I was going to con this guy, You Miyagi, who was married to my sister. Well, about that…

I took a deep breath. There was no one I could talk to about this. I couldn't even sort it out in my head. Writing would probably help. It might make me realize something…

I'm in love with him. After all he is the reason I became a con artist. It was bound to happen right? No one else has even had such an impact on my life.

And he's a con artist too. He's been coning me this whole time. There's no other why I could love him this much. It's not natural. And he's like, old. Not to mention he almost raped me.

Ever notice how Semes always rape Ukes? And then the Ukes fall in love with them. It's totally stupid and makes zero sense. Even the women from Lifetime Movie Channel make more sense than we Ukes do. At least they know who their enemy is.

Anyway, I'm stupidly in love with him. I want to believe he loves me. I really do. But for all I know, he could be coning me. But why bring me back? He hasn't tried touching me since the accident. And it's not like I'm cooking anything great for him. It would have be some twisted game…

But sometimes Miyagi just looks so innocent and honest. He can't be tricking me. He's just soo…

Wow, I sound like a teenage girl. I really suck!

Anyway, what I really hate is that I want him to love me back. The other day, before he came home, I caught myself cooking him Italian pasta, thinking I could be like one of those cute housewives or something. Then I remembered that he didn't know I could cook. And if he does, too bad for him. It's the only thing I have left of my act.

Anyway the pasta I mentioned earlier was almost thrown out. Luckily I caught myself and ate it before he got back. He did say something smelt good so I lied about going to Olive Garden with my friends.

I stopped writing when I heard the footsteps in the hallway.

"Yeah, yeah I know" He says into his cell phone. "I'll bring the materials."

He smiles when he sees me, and again I feel totally hopeless. I can't help it. It's just something about that smile. He hangs up on Hiroki, who's going on about who knows what. "I'm so amazing; I manage to work on my day off." He jokes.

His eyes wonder to the book hidden behind my back. "What are you hiding, Shinobu?"

"It's nothing," I say, stepping back. Crap, I should have tossed my journal under the bed. He would never find it then. I wouldn't even find it then!

"Ohhh, it's probably porn! Let me see!" he lunges for my notebook.

I jump back, "Of course it isn't!"

"Don't be embarrassed, I know you young people like that sort of thing." His eyes are playful as we fight over the book. But I'm dead serious. I can't let him see it.

"Why would I read that here!?" I ask just as he pulls it from me.

"Oh, it's a dairy!"

"Give it back!" I yell as he holds it over my head. I jump around, much like a small dog, before knocking him to the ground underneath me.

"I'm sorry," I mutter, seeing that the book is no longer in his hands. Fortunately it was knocked out of reach.

"It's ok! We're anime characters! No matter what happens we'll be okay, unless bleeding is part of the storyline. And even then it'll take long enough for us to reveal our deepest darkest secrets before we die. And for some reason no one will try taking us to a hospital, unless it's part of the storyline, and they'll just let us die on the floor here."

"True. But also since we're anime characters we somehow manage to make this a cutesy moment where I'm laying on you. When in reality the fall would not have been that perfect. And I'd probably nail you in the gut or something painful." I say, brushing a bit of hair back.

We stare into each other's eyes for a moment. Miyagi looks soo convincing…

"We're such great anime characters," I say, a little breathy. I can't help it! It's a cutesy scene.

He tilts my face up to his and kisses me. It's nothing like the hot and passionate ones we've shared before. This time, Miyagi is being sweet. He's not being dominate, though he does slip his tongue in briefly.

And just as my head starts spinning, it ends. He apologizes and gently nudges me off.

My head goes blank, not even able to fandom what just happened.

It was as if…

He hands me the journal before nervously joking, "Idiot! You should be slapping me right now! That's the difference between you and your sister."

"So, that means I have boobs now? Thanks, Miyagi. Anyway, Can I stay over tonight?" I ask, suddenly wanting nothing more than to spend more time with him.

"No, your parents will worry." He tosses me the keys to his car, "I'll drive you, but first I gotta use the bathroom. For personal-male-business you will understand when you're older."

I roll my eyes and leave him, tucking my journal under my arm.

It always ends like this. We hang out, I cook some crappy food and then he drives me home. It's always the same old thing. Our relationship is going nowhere.

I bump the dashboard when I get into his car. I guess even short anime characters like me have longer legs if the storyline calls for it.

From the dash-box falls a picture. The same one I'd seen before in the book…

He's been holding onto it.

He really loves this girl, doesn't he? I know he does, even though he'd never talk about it.

Does he even care about me?

I toss the picture down on the seat and step out of the car. I need a walk to clean my head. I don't want to just assume anything… But…

Miyagi smiles as he walks toward the car. "Sorry, the used bookstore called again. Turns out, Hiroki owes a lot more than we thought." I begin to step around him, "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just remembered… nevermind. I'm going to walk home."

"I said I'd drive you."

"It's okay," I say pushing past him. He lets me go, though I find myself wishing he'd chase after me. No, I tell myself. I want to be alone. I need to think.

--

"Hey Shinobu! Still getting freebees from the old man?" Risako asked grinning at me.

"Yeah, hey sis, I need to ask you something about Miyagi."

She laughs, "Ha ha, what?"

"Well, it's about this picture he carries around." I begin.

Her face goes blank. "Oh, that."

"What about that?"

"He's… He was in love with that girl. He is in love with that girl."

"Oh,"

"He never loved me. He didn't even care enough to hate me," she said, looking at her lap, "That's why I was soo happy you were going to get him back for me."

"So, you don't think he'll ever get over her?"

"It's been like, years."

"Yes but…" I want to protest. I want to say 'But he loves me!' but the words feel wrong. I know all this has been a lie. Everything, all an act. I've meant nothing to him.

I go to my room a little while later. My sister went on for about a half hour about how he worships that picture. And the woman in it, who has been dead for many years.

Life isn't fair.

--

I try not to get my hopes up. But I want to see him again. I just need to prove it to myself or I won't be able to move on.

Moving on? Now that's a joke.

Really I'm just running away. Like I always do.

I'm retreating back to Australia. Exactly where I belong.

--

"Whoa, it's not what it looks like!" Miyagi says getting up. Again his face is perfectly honest. But the guy I'd just seen him with makes me think twice. I swear I've seen that guy on the corners… "I'm just Hiroki's pimp, there's nothing going on there."

"You bet your ass there isn't." the guy says pulling himself off the ground, "Now, I've got work to do."

"Where's my dad's office?" I ask nervously. I know exactly where it is but I don't feel like I belong here. Not now anyway.

"Is something wrong?" he asks.

"No," I answer too quickly.

"Okay, well let me walk you…"

"Just tell me where it's at." I say, putting my hands on my hips.

He tells me quickly and I rush out the door. Okay maybe I don't really have business with my dad. But I don't want to be in a room with the both of them! It's too awkward. And now would be a good time to tell my dad that I really was moving this time.

My decision was made right then. I had to get out. Before Miyagi completely crushed my heart.

--

After a long, drawn out fight about whether I'm leaving or not; my father finally agrees to let me go. I should be happy that I'm finally going to be free of the mixed up emotions. But it's just the opposite. I feel absolutely horrible.

I stop in front of Miyagi's door. I can't help it. I have to see him before I leave. I have to tell him. I have to see that innocent face one more time…

I want to prove myself wrong.

"Hey, thanks for earlier." I say stepping into the room. Hiroki is blissfully absent and I can't help but feel relief.

"Any time. So, can I ask why you came? I mean, wouldn't it be more convenient to talk to him at home?"

"It's not your concern." I say forcefully. I have to be strong, I tell myself. I have to break it off.

"You've been acting weird lately," he says, "If you have something you want to say, say it."

"I have nothing to say to you,"

"Tell me," He orders.

"I'm going home," I just can't pull this off in person. I'll have to break up with him via Facebook.

I turn to leave but he holds me back. He opens his mouth to say something else but is cut off by the song: Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie.

"Oh, I hope you know, I hope you know… That this has nothing to do with you. It's personal, myself and I… We got some figuring out to do. And I'm gonna miss you like a kid misses their blanket but I've gotta get a move on with my life. It's time to be a big girl now. And big girls don't cry…" I quickly answer it before the embarrassing song continues.

"Hello?" I try, stepping away from him.

"Shinobu!" a couple of guys say happily.

"Felix, Josh," I say in English recognizing my friends' voices.

"Yo, I got this chain-text that said you were coming back!"

"Yeah, I'm coming home." I say, turning away from Miyagi. I slyly smile knowing he won't understand anything I say, "I'll be returning in a month."

They cheered like Fangirls on the other end.

"Okay, well I gotta go right now," I say, "T-T-Y-L!"

"See ya,"

"Bye, dude," They said together.

I turned back to Miyagi.

"About that call just now…" he starts, looking confused.

"I'm going home," I announce.

"Wait!"

"Piss off, old man," I say glaring at him.

"Shinobu! If you have a problem, just talk to me…"

I slam the door in his face before he can continue. One thing is sure: Miyagi is a damn good con artist. I wish I could believe him.

But I still love him. What the fuck?

Damn, I need to order a pizza. I reach for my cell phone only to find it missing. After raiding my purse for the fifth time, I know that I'll have to go back to Miyagi's office. He is the only thing between me and a grizzly sized taco-pizza complete with the hot peppers.

I eventually suck up the fact that Lady Luck hates me and return to Miyagi's office. She must really want me to break up with him in person. 'Please,' I plead, 'I can't go back in there. He'll stop me!'

"Hey, did I leave my cell here?" I asked trying to sound innocent.

Miyagi holds up my red cell, luckily-gypsy charm hanging from one side. "You dropped this. So… You're going back to Australia?"

I stare at him in disbelief. Did that bastard answer my phone or could he understand what I was saying earlier?

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. That ringtone was just making me insane… And your loud-mouth friends told me everything."

"I see…" so he did answer my phone call…

"I thought you were going to come to college here…"

"Well, that's my choice, isn't it?" I snap. It's easier this way. To act all pissed off. Because I am a little, though mostly at myself for still loving him. "It's none of your business, old man."

"Isn't it?"

"Hell no!" We stare at each other for a moment. Finally, I just can't take it anymore. I can't go on this way. I need to do this so I can move in. "Look, what I want to say is… It's over."

I don't know how I expected him to respond. I guess I forgot what happened the last time I majorly pissed him off.

"Stop it, Miyagi!" I yelled, slamming my fist against his chest. His kisses me, the only the real way to shut me up. Yeah, I know this trick.

I bite hard on his lip. "What the hell was that?" he asked, wiping blood from his face. I'd never bitten him before. I'd thought about it, but I'd never really wanted to.

"Get off,"

"Don't under-estimate adults, kid. So, you're done playing around with people?" I blink at him. We'd never before spoken about this. It was unspoken between us that he was the better con artist. So, this whole thing really was just to teach me a lesson?

"You're wr…"

"Then what is it?"

"You! That's what's wrong!"

"Sly bastard," he muttered.

"That's not very nice. Anyway, I've had enough. This relationship is over!" I somehow manage to get out of his embrace and move toward the door. I really need that taco-pizza.

"Why? Tell me why!" he begs before I slip out the door.

"Why? Because I'm not some twisted old guy who enjoys playing mind-games with people under him." I remark coldly turning and running.

"What the heck are you talking about?!" he calls but doesn't chase me.

Oh, you know what I mean. I think, getting myself even more worked up.

--

The days after this blur together. I can't think of everything but Miyagi. And for some reason I have a major Cherry craving. But besides that, I can't stop thinking about him.

Felix shows up one day. He's here visiting his grandma who lives here in Tokyo. But mainly he's come to see me. Felix is a good friend. He knew I was hurting even when I didn't mention it. Although at the time I was a little irritated in waiting for my pizza.

Then Miyagi returned as if my life wasn't ruined enough because of him.

--

"Dude, there's a homeless guy following us." Felix jokes.

I glance back to see Miyagi, who looks like a normal person to everyone but a couple rich kids like ourselves. Rich kids who happen to wear their school uniform everywhere, even during vacations. Yeah, we're soo cool!

"Ignore him," I say walking a little faster.

"Shinobu! I want you to explain…" he says, gripping one of my hands.

"RAPE! R-A-P-E, get the hell away from me!"

"I will let go after you give me an explanation. You owe me at least that."

"I owe you nothing!"

"I told you, that guy you saw me with is a nobody. He just works for me."

"I don't care,"

"Should I be doing something right now?" my friends asks.

"No, you're just a side character. You don't even have a name in these books." I tell him.

"Is it this?" he asks, holding up the picture. I instantly look away. I can't look at it. Why does he have to mock me like this?

"I know you, Shinobu," he whispers, "I know you avert your eyes when something's up. Talk to me." I don't answer. I refuse to be swept off my feet like the stupid Uke I am. "Idiot," he says finally, trying to laugh things off again, "It's just a crappy photo."

"LAIR!" I yell, struggling out of his grip. I cover my ears with my hands before singing, "La-la-la, I can't hear you!"

"Brat! Now I have to take you on a field-trip and have more annoying flashbacks." He sighed before muttering, "Well, let's get this over with."

He reaches out to grab me again but this time I'm ready.

I whack him over the head with my purse, "Don't fuck with me! Stop your acting calm all the time! This may mean nothing to you, but to me…" I shack my head, "You don't love me do you? Well, I don't need this type of relationship. I deserve someone that will love me back! This may not be a big deal to you, but to me this is everything!"

There was a pause where we just stared at each other. Finally, my eyes almost about to leak, I said, "You'll never realize how much I love you, you bastard."

He didn't answer. Instead he grabbed my arm and shoved me into the passenger seat.

"What do you think you're…"

"Shinobu!" Felix yells, rushing up to the car.

"Don't worry, I'm not a homeless person." Miyagi assures him, "I'll bring him back in a few days."

"Miyagi!" I begin bitching again, "Let me out! This is kidnapping and…"

Again he kisses me so that I shut up.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" I asked, crossing my arms, "You can't just…"

"Call your dad and tell everyone that you've just staying with me for a couple days."

"Where are we going?"

"Buckle up! Safety first, Shinobu!"

"Whatever," I said before dialing my father's number.

--

Okay, I'm gonna stop here because I know things are going to get long. Hope to see you guy in the next chapter!