[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer

[A/N] Welcome back to another update of my soap-fiction. Thanks for taking the time to read and review. Your support and encouragement means a lot to me.

This chapter here is dedicated to nzuri94 and Villemo79. Hope you'll enjoy

**Chapter 6**

Alice

I'm not only a fucking cheater what itself is worse enough. Now I also have this annoying thing called a bad conscience that literally knocks the breath out of me. The last week has been horrible and I'm trying to ignore Bella's texts on my cell as much as possible. She still doesn't give up and that's a new for me. When Jasper realizes I'm not going to talk to him for any unknown period of time he just leaves me alone.

Bella is not like that, not at all. She keeps texting me, no matter if I write back to her or not. Her words make me blush, make my insides tingle as if I have a million of butterflies in my stomach. They make me laugh and yet at the same time the make me want to cry. It's so obvious that she is interested in me, I mean like…really interested and I can't give that to her. Everything is so fucking complicated and somehow I wished it weren't that way.

When Jasper wrapped his arms around me I sobbed against his shoulder. Usually I don't cry when he's leaving but today it's different. I feel so terribly confused about the situation I'm in.

"I love you, darlin'. Take good care of our baby until I come back will you?" he whispered into my ear and I couldn't even answer him verbally. So I just nodded my head in a silent agreement.

He kissed me and once again, I hated myself for not feeling what I was supposed to feel when he did that. I loved him, that much I was sure of but still, kissing him was nothing but pressing my lips against his and wait until he was done with slobbering around with his tongue in my mouth.

When he pulled back a smile flashed over his face. Slowly he wiped away a tear from my cheekbone and with that he was gone. I remained standing where I was, unable to move just one single inch. My head started spinning and for a moment I wondered if I was going to faint now.

Rosie was next to me in no time, putting one arm around my quivering shoulder.

"Hey, you are really taking it hard this time, don't you?" she asked me worriedly, pulling me over to sit on a bench at the side of the parking lot.

"If you want to you can come home with me and the kids. I prepared some homemade Lasagna for us to eat for lunch."

I don't know if it's the mentioning of the same dish Bella tried to teach me or the fact that my nerves are just too tensed at the moment but I'm sure that I can't manage to spend the rest of the day in the presence of my sister in law. So I forced my lips into a grimace that was supposed to look like a smile but shook my head.

"I just want to be a bit alone now. My head is hurting. I didn't really get much sleep last night."

She grinned and I realized that she had very likely misunderstood my words. I should have had sex with my husband last night but I couldn't. I just couldn't no matter how hard I tried to and he wasn't exactly pleased about that. But it's like something has changed deep inside of me and I can't deny it. My entire life I have thought that sex is just some unpleasant part of married life that you have to endure. Now, I know different and yet when Jasper's hand moved between my thighs last night I stayed completely dry down there what made the entire thing extremely…well, unpleasant.

My cell vibrated in my pocket and I flipped it open with trembling fingertips to read the new text.

You are so pretty when you smile but I really think you need to do it more often

Before I could really think about what I'm doing I quickly typed a reply to her.

I don't really feel a lot like smiling in the last time

Her reply came back when I fumbled for the car keys of the Audi in my handbag.

You worry too much. PS: if the baby is a boy, he's going to end up as a boxer. I'm all black and blue from the inside

I smile at the tiny screen in front of me. Not because the baby is obviously hurting her with the kicking but because in a way it makes everything more real for me. In a few months I'm going to be a mom and that thought sent a wave of warmth through me.

XXXX

I sighed deeply when I parked the car in front of her apartment, checking my reflection in the review mirror for about the tenth time before I finally managed to get out of the car. Maybe I should just leave the gift basket in front of her door. It's embarrassing enough that I have bought something like that at all.

My plan on leaving the basket on her door step and run away is shattered when Bella's brunette head appeared in the doorframe. It's like she has felt I was coming or maybe she has some super hearing abilities and has recognized my loud heartbeat.

"Alice…," she whispered and in that moment I realized that I loved the way she says my name more than anything.

"Can I come in for a moment?" I asked her shyly, feeling my palms starting to sweat because I was way too nervous. What the hell is wrong with me?

She leaded me into the apartment and to my surprise it looked as if she's about to move out. There are boxes standing around and it looked as if she was about to put the metal frame of her bed apart before I came.

I sat down on the edge of the couch and crossed my arms in front of my chest. For a few long awkward moments none of us spoke. She sighed and sat down next to me, her thigh almost brushing against mine. I don't know that it is that I crave her physical closeness that much. It's not normal that much I am sure of and still I want more of it not matter how hard I try to suppress it.

"I brought you a present." I stated finally, cursing myself for the shaking in my voice.

"Thanks," she murmured, wrapping the foil from the basket to see what is inside it.

Then she leaned over and planted a soft kiss on my cheek that managed to set my entire body on an invisible fire.

"Almond oil?"

"I've read that's good to prevent stretch marks."

"Massage oil is good anyway." She murmured, opening the lid from the little glass bottle.

"Hmm, that really smells good. I like massages and you?"

I nodded my head and cleared my throat nervously.

"Are you moving out?"

"Not exactly,"

Her entire body started trembling slightly and to my immense horror she burst out into tears a moment later.

"Bella?"

"Oh crap, everything is so fucked up and now I don't even know where to go. I…I…,"

I pulled her against my chest and let her soak the fabric of my shirt with her warm tears while my hands circled up and down her spine in an attempt to calm her down again.

"Why are you crying? Did something happen?"

She sniffed and I pulled a tissue out of my handbag to wipe the smeared mascara from her cheeks.

"Blow, honey," I whispered, placing the tissue gently over her running nose.

She obeyed and something that sounded almost like a low chuckle left her throat.

"You are going to be a good mother, I'm sure of that. You are so…caring."

"I don't know yet. I've never been a mom before."

She took my hand and circled her thumb over my wrist so lightly that she was barely touching me at all.

"Jasper is gone now, isn't he?"

"How do you know?"

"Somehow I'm sure that you wouldn't be here right now if he weren't. It probably makes me a horrible person but somehow I'm glad that he's overseas now."

I couldn't resist the urge to reach out my hand and twist a wisp of her silky brown hair around my finger. When the sunlight reflected in the curl I realized that it had different shades of warm red in it.

"Why can't I ever stop thinking about you, Bella? I tried so hard to do it but it's not working."

She cupped my face in her hand and caressed it gently with her fingertips, while her eyes somehow seemed to focus on my mouth.

"Stop trying, Alice." she whispered against my lips before she kissed me tenderly. It's a slow kiss, almost as if she's asking for permission and I give it to her. My mouth moved with her and when she parted her lips a bit I swirled my tongue against the velvety tip of hers.

When someone knocked on the door both of us shrugged back at the same moment. She sighed and stood up from the couch to open it.

"Aren't you gone yet?" the red-haired woman snarled at her as soon as she stepped into the apartment.

"I'm so sorry, Victoria but I…well I had school in the Morning and…,"

"I don't give a shit about your education, young Miss. I care about the money that you owe me for letting you stay in this apartment. Now get your stuff and piss off before I call the cops."

Bella sniffed again and I stood up from the couch to hug her tightly from behind.

"Stop talking to her like that. Who do you think you are?"

"Excuse me, Missy but that's none of your damn business. She didn't pay the rent for the last three weeks so she's going to move out here – like now. It was wrong taking in a stupid teenager who is trying to live on her own. I should probably inform the authorities to make sure they take the poor kid away from her."

She closed the door with a loud bang and Bella collapsed on the floor, curling into a ball as if she was somehow trying to make herself invisible.

I kneeled down next to her and pulled her quivering body against me until her head was resting on my lap. For the first time I realized how young she really was and how alone she was in a situation that no one should ever be alone in. I didn't want her to be alone, ever.

XXXX

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" she asked me worriedly when I lifted the last box with her clothes out of the trunk.

"Yes, it is. I have the house all for myself for the next months and I'm sure that Jasper wouldn't mind it at all if he knew you would be staying here with me until the baby is born."

We walked into the house and Oreo instantly started rubbing himself against my shin until I lifted him up on my arm as soon as I put down the box.

"Hello sweetie, look whom Momma has brought with her."

He meowed and I planted a kiss on the fluffy fur on his head before I put him down again.

"You talk to your cat, that's funny." She stated, pressing her hand against her back.

"Well, sometimes it feels like Oreo is the only one who can understand me. Does that sound weird to you?"

"No, it doesn't. Ah…ouch, crap."

She leaned a bit forward and inhaled sharply between her teeth while her face turned into a pained grimace.

"Are you in pain?" I asked her wondering if she was probably experiencing some premature labor or something like that.

"My poor back is killing me but that's my own fault. I shouldn't have tried to put the bed apart on my own."

I pulled her over into the living room and made her sit down on the couch. Then I sat down behind her and started massaging her shoulders in smooth circles.

"Is it weird to tell you that I missed you in the last week?" I whispered, leaning forward to plant a kiss right underneath her earlobe. All of this is so wrong and yet it feels so right at the same moment. How is that even possible?

She turned her head and kissed my lips, sending those nameless waves of...is it lust…down my spine.

"I missed you too, so very much. Whenever I close my eyes I see your pretty face in front of me."

She sighed and leaned back against my shoulder. I pulled her shirt over her head and start moving my fingertips up and down her bare skin while I planted kisses all over her shoulder, swirling my tongue over the hollow of her throat because suddenly I'm kind of curious how her pale skin tastes like.

That itself is a new for me. I've never been curious about something like that before. Maybe it's because with her I don't feel like I need to be afraid of doing something wrong. Touching and caressing her feels so…natural to me. Shouldn't it be that way when I was with my husband? Jasper had assumed that maybe there was something physically wrong with me because it took me way too long to warm up. Our relationship would be so much easier without sex.

I closed my eyes but no matter how hard I tried I couldn't manage to see his face in front of me. All I could see was her. Her face, her smile, the way she cradled her rounded middle whenever the baby kicked inside her. I didn't want to think about her that much, it was wrong and would lead to nothing but trouble for everyone involved and yet, while I held her in my arms, somewhere deep inside me I was beginning to realize it was right.