Chapter 6

The storm

"This way!" Kit yelled, but his voice so drowned in the howling winds that Karnage could scarcely hear him. A cloak of gray fog draped over them, so dense they could scarcely see ahead of themselves. Sheets of rain lashed down unmercifully, with chunks of hail hurling through the branches overhead like meteorites, and animals yelped and scurried through the woods in search of shelter.

"Which way?!" Karnage frantically turned to and fro looking for the right direction, shielding his head with his arms. Just nearby, a bright crash of lightning obliterated a tree, setting its branches ablaze before the rain drowned it all away. A panicked flock of birds blindly shot through the fog. Karnage barely saw them out of the corner of his eye before diving to the ground, just missing getting clipped.

He sloshed in the mud on his hands and knees, the wind making him squint as he tried to scan the area. "Boy! Where are you?"

"Get off me!" a muffled voice shouted from underneath him. Now caked in mud, Kit shoved Karnage away and wiped the muck off his face. "What's the big idea!"

Another bolt of lightning struck the ground nearby, close enough to make their wet fur tingle.

"We must get out of this storm now!" Karnage yelled.

"Come on!" Kit got to his feet and started to dart away, but tripped on a tangle of grass and received another faceful of mud.

Karnage leapt over him. "This is no time to be playing in the mud, boy! Hurry!"

Kit coughed and spat. "Playing?"

Under a thick growth of branches, Karnage spied a niche between the trees, a natural shelter from the rain. He made a beeline for it, but his hopes were quickly deflated when he suddenly found himself eye-to-eye with a large viper. It reared its heavy, thick body and hissed, brandishing fangs glittering with venom. Karnage giggled nervously and stepped away. "Begging my pardon… your tree."

"Over here!" Kit called. Through a clearing in the fog, he spotted an opening in a rocky slope, a cave. Panting and sopping in water and mud, Kit made it inside first, and dropped to the ground. His body still tingled with the pelting sensation of the rain and hail.

Then Karnage stumbled inside, panting heavily. He leaned his hands on his knees, trying to catch his breath. "I… I am socking in wetness… and… and…" He looked at his muddied pant-legs and sleeves. "…icky!"

Kit wiped another muddy glob off his face and scowled at him. "You're icky?"

"Yes, I am icky!" Karnage snapped. "And it is all your fault! And I hope you are happy now that everything we had is gone!"

Kit got to his feet ― more like wobbled to his feet ― and stood up to him. "We were too heavy for that rope and you know it! So ex-cuse me for savin' your life!"

"Sa-saving me?! If it was not for you, I would not even be in this pestering predicament!"

"Hey, don't try to pin this on me!"

"Why not? It is your fault!" Karnage yelled. "And for what? You come onto my ship, you steal my map, and all for what now? Nothing! Nothing is all we have!"

"Well I'm not the one who broke the stupid bridge!"

"I am not the one who ate twice his height in bananas!" Karnage retorted. "That is what made us too heavy!"

"I am not the one who didn't listen to my warnings not to run!"

"I am not the one that needed me to save his filthy fur from falling!"

"I am not the one who moped and moaned like his life was over just 'cause he lost a stupid button!"

"I told you, my coat is uneven!"

Irate, Kit plucked the mate button off Karnage's coat and chucked it out the cave. "There! Now it's even!"

Karnage was scandalized! "Why you ― ! I am not the one who lost my treasure map!"

"I am not the one who knocked it outta my hands and made me drop it!"

"I am not the one who tried to steal it and made me make you drop it, you butter-fingered baboon!"

"I am not the one who stole it in the first place, ya lousy crook!"

Karnage's nose twitched in anger. For a moment, he didn't know what to say. But it was a brief moment.. "I am not the one who ― who ruined perfectly good furniture on my ship trying to kill a cockroach with a cutlass!"

Kit blinked, then retorted, "I am not the one who found my airfoil and tried to use it as an hors d'oeuvres plate!"

"I am not the one who was always sniveling at me to let him fly, when he was too short to even see over the 'consolable'!"

"I am not the one who listened to Danger Woman every week and thought it was educational!"

"I am not the one who I taught to handle knives like a worthy pirate, but kept leaving them on my chair for me to find by unpleasant surprise!"

"I am not the one who spent two hours in the bathroom every morning singing to himself in the mirror!"

Karnage gritted his teeth. "I am not the one who scurried under my feet for a year and learned nothing but how to stab me in the back!"

"Wha'?!"

"You heard me!"

"I am not the one who went completely nuts and tried to burn down an entire city!"

"I am not the one who ― !"

"Shut up!" Kit screamed at the top of his lungs, making Karnage flinch. "Darn it, I'm sick of arguin' with you!"

Karnage lost what composure he had left, grabbed Kit and shoved him against the cave wall, squeezing his fingers into the base of the boy's neck. "I have taken all I will take of your malignant mouth!"

The stifling pain made Kit wince, but he could not pry the captain's fingers loose. However, his feet were free to kick.

*thump*

"Ow-hoo-hoo!" Karnage let go of Kit and clutched his shin instead, hopping on one foot. With a grunt, Kit shoved him backwards, sending him sprawling in a tangle of arms and legs, then fell down himself, coughing.

They stared at each other. Then Karnage slowly spoke, clenching a fist, "You have no idea what you… what you..." He stopped speaking, closing his eyes. Then as if every ounce of his energy had been suddenly drained, which was not far from the truth, he rolled onto his back and took a long, deep breath.

For an instant, Kit thought he fainted.

"This is getting us nowhere," Karnage moaned.

"Real fast," said Kit.

"We have nothing. No map… no radio…"

Kit looked out at the storm, and finished Karnage's thought inwardly. 'No blankets… no lanterns... it's dark in here. And cold…'

With some effort, Karnage sat up. "You still have the lighter, at least?"

"Uh, yeah…" Kit dug inside his sweater for it. With a few flicks, its small flame sprang to fragile life, dimly lighting the cave. There was an old pile of firewood, a broken wooden crate, and an rusted tin pot next to them. "Looks like we're not the first ones here," said Kit. The rest of the cave was bare, save for weeds sprouting from the cracks and scattered arboreal debris blown in from the wind; farther back, the cave went far too deep and was too dark to see. "I just hope we're the only ones in here."

"We need a fire," said Karnage. "That junk over there... it will burn, yes?"

"Yeah, I think so. It doesn't look wet." Kit went to sort out the pile of wood. To his surprise, Karnage did the same. He could not quite figure out how they managed to go from screaming and fighting to civility and teamwork, but then again, he had already realized that no matter how much he wanted to get away from Karnage, if he wanted a chance of making it back home, especially now, he rather depended on a little help. And if he knew Karnage at all, somewhere along the way, he had realized the exact same.

Together, they broke down the old crate and gathered the firewood, and separated it all into two piles ― one to start the fire, and one to add to it later on. Kit applied his lighter to the prior, blew gently, and soon a campfire whispered to life.

They sat cross-legged, opposite each other. Karnage peeled off his boots to empty the mud and water from them, and wiggled his aching toes with a relieved moan. Then he removed his coat ― which had certainly seen better days ― thoroughly wrung it out, and spread it on the ground next to the fire to dry. Kit did the same with his sweater. He emptied out its hidden pockets, including his his broken airfoil, compass, and pocket-watch. The compass was fine, but when he opened the watch to check the time, he found it waterlogged, and the crystal had shattered. He put it to his ear and shook it, but heard no ticking. It stopped just after eleven o'clock. Disappointed, he sighed, and set both aside. "I liked that watch…"

It was not yet noon, but already the sky outside was as dark as twilight, lit frequently by bright bursts of lightning. Rain and hail hitting the rocky mouth of the cave gave a chorus of a thousand tap-dancers stepping as if their lives depended on it.

Karnage rubbed his hands and arms in front of the fire. He was warmer now, but still could hardly keep from shivering. Suddenly his nose wrinkled. "Ah… ah… ah-CHOO!"

The big-winded sneeze made the fire jump and Kit flinch. Karnage moaned and cupped his snout; it looked like the elements were taking their toll on him.

"You're… you're not gonna throw up or anything, are you?" Kit asked, cautiously scooting a few inches away.

Karnage put his hands down and frowned at him. "If I do, that is your fault too, you pestilence-spreading pip-squeak."

"Me? How me?"

"Come now, boy. Everyone knows that little children are full of filthy germs."

Kit rolled his eyes. "Oh pu-leeze."

"It's true!" Karnage argued. "You children are always playing in the dirt, wiping your wet noses on your hands, touching and putting everything in your mouths… if it were not for you, there would be no diseases. And I would not be getting an estupid cold right now!"

Kit rested his cheek in his hand. "You're a marvel, you know that?"

Karnage sneezed again, this time harder than before, and scowled at him accusingly.

"Aw, you'll live," said Kit. "I've been worse spots than this and pulled though."

"Do not be telling me if I will be living or not," Karnage snapped. Kit arched an eyebrow at him. "Oh, shut up. You know what I mean. And when have you been in worse spots?"

"Lots of times," Kit told him. "Try spendin' a rainy night in the back of an alley sometime. In the winter. A cave with a fire is a fancy hotel compared to that."

Karnage was clearly unimpressed. "Aww, the little boy with no home. You will excuse me while I find a violin, yes?"

"You know what you can do with it, too," Kit sneered. "You don't know anything about it."

"You think not," Karnage said quietly. "It makes no difference, anyway. You cannot possibly be as miserable as I have been these last three days."

"Oh no?"

"No! At least you have had the pleasure of having me around. Look who I have been having to put up with!"

For a moment, Kit was so stupefied by Karnage's reasoning he couldn't even choke out a comeback. Seeing this, and getting the last word in, Karnage seemed very pleased with himself. Kit just looked away, though eventually he started to chuckle. "Let… let me ask you a question," he said. Karnage's ears perked up. "What exactly is it that gives you the idea that you're so… wonderful?"

Karnage looked genuinely surprised. "You cannot be serious."

"Yeah, I am. I wanna know. I mean, for as long as I've known you, you've gone on and on about how great you are, and how better you are than everyone else. I gotta know. Just what is it that makes you think that way?"

"It is a silly question!" said Karnage. "Anyone who has heard of the feared and handsome pirate Don Karrrnage knows. Including you."

"Not really. I don't." Kit crossed his arms as if challenging him, and Karnage realized it, so the captain up straight and proud.

"Because I am," said Karnage.

"Huh, you can't come up with one reason."

Karnage waved him off. "I do not have time to be playing your foolish question-type games."

"No time?" Kit looked around the cave with exaggerated, sarcastic movement. "What, you goin' somewhere?"

"Do not be playing the wise-guy with me," said Karnage. Kit stared at him, still waiting. "What? What is there to explain?" Karnage extended his arms, presenting himself, as if the answer was obvious. "Look at me!"

"We've been scratchin' in the middle of a jungle for three days," said Kit. "Believe me, you're not lookin' so good."

"Listen boy, when I look into a mirror, I see the most amazing… the most dashing person alive, pirate or no. Certainly it is not my fault if an ignoranimoos like yourself cannot see the same."

"Uh-huh," Kit said dryly. "So you think you're handsome. Big whoop. And you think that makes you some sort of gift to the world?"

"I did not say that... but... I am liking the sound of it! Just think of all I have done! My wealth, my fame, my crew, my planes ― the Iron Vulture, boy ― they all did not grow on a tree in my backyard, you know. And you think those needle-headed ninnies on my ship know anything about being true pirates? I am the master-minder who brought the reign of piracy to its fullest-most glory! Because I could, and, I did. So that, you inquizzing little quack, is your answer!"

"Whoa whoa, wait a minute!" said Kit. "So you got away with a lot of stuff, but you're no stranger to failure, either."

"Not since I met you," Karnage grumbled. 'Ooh, I wish someone could have heard that one!,' he thought.

Kit shrugged off the insult, but he cocked his head to the side, contemplating him. "So it's that simple, huh? Being a flashy pirate makes you number one?"

"Yes," answered Karnage. "That simple. Now will you shut up your face?"

It made sense, Kit figured, although he would have loved to get Karnage to realize how ridiculous he was to believe it… a seemingly impossible task. "Yeah… forget it."

For the next several minutes, neither one spoke. Karnage stared at the flickering fire, occasionally glancing wearily at the thunderstorm, which showed no signs of abating. Kit absently drew on the dusty ground with his finger. His thoughts drifted back to Cape Suzette, wondering about what was going on at Higher For Hire at that very moment, and more so, how Baloo was. Dryer and warmer came to mind, among other suppositions.

Karnage, meanwhile, thought about the state of the Iron Vulture. He pictured food all over the galley, a hangar that looked like it had been ransacked… and worst of all, someone sitting in his chair on the bridge. He could just see Mad Dog sitting there, enjoying the privilege, infesting it with fleas… or even worse yet, Dumptruck sitting in it. That bulky bozo's rump would surely warp the cushion all out shape. "Ooh! If he even goes near my bed, I will sizzle him in his own fries!" he suddenly yelled aloud, startling Kit, who looked at him like he was insane. Karnage cleared his throat, slightly embarrassed. "Dumptruck, I meant. I want him to keep out of my bed, you know?"

Kit's jaw hung loose. "Uh…"

"I mean when I am away, like now," said Karnage, then quickly amended, "And when I am there, of course. Do not be giving me that dumb-in-the-face look!"

"Aw, I know what you meant. You miss your ship."

"I do not miss it… I just ehm… am not used to being away from it for so long, is all."

"What about having a crew to boss around?"

"That I miss, yes."

"Thought so." Kit picked up his airfoil and looked at it for a long moment, saddened over how it looked like a twisted piece of scrap metal. He put it over his knee and pushed on it in an attempt to straighten it out, if for even a little.

"Where did you find that thing, anyway?" asked Karnage.

"I didn't find it," said Kit, not taking his eyes from it. "I made it."

"Made it," Karnage muttered. "Of course you did."

"I found everything in a heap of junk in Ratchet's workshop. He was cutting sheets off shot-up airplane wings and wielding them back together. I saw some of the shapes he cut, and the idea started to come to me. I just kind of figured it out and pieced it together. Only took a couple of days."

Though his face read that he was certain the boy was fantasizing, Karnage believed him. He did not like that he believed him, either; it was another reminder of how the one boy he knew to live and breath aviation would never be shooting down planes under the insignia of the Jolly Roger. He did, however, offer one opinion of the boy's craftsmanship: "Well, it breaks easy."

While it became clear that the airfoil was not going to straighten, Kit tinkered with it for quite awhile, absently for the most part, thinking of matters far away from the desolate cave. At length, he laid the airfoil aside, and went back to watching the storm.

'If the boy is not dumb-in-the-face he is dull-in-the-face,' Karnage thought, noticing Kit's glum expression. He could almost read his thoughts, though… that he was missing that fat pilot he liked so much… and probably that annoying business-lady he worked for, too.

It was an odd feeling for him, realizing Kit was homesick. He never considered the boy to be interested in much of a "normal" civilian life. He certainly was not, and would not have expected it of a boy who, as far as he knew, ran away as an orphan from food, shelter, and the prospect of ever being adopted into a family.

After a long, awkward silence, Karnage took a breath and tried to sound casual. "Since I answered your question, boy, now you answer one for me, yes?"

Kit's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "What?"

"In the time before I was so… bless-ed with your annoying acquaintance, why did you want to be a… what is it called… a dare-to-lick?"

"A dare ― huh?"

"You know, homeless."

"What kind of a question is that?" Kit shot back, offended. "I didn't just want it to happen."

"My my, testy little termite, are we not?" smirked Karnage.

"The only place I ever lived before that was at an orphanage, and you already know that. So, what?"

"Exactly that!" Karnage said. "They did not kick you out... you ran away from there."

"It was a long time ago. Why should you care?"

"They gave you food there, yes?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"And a bed to sleep at night?" Karnage found it enormously gratifying to be the one cornering Kit into something he did not want to mention for a change.

"You don't got the first clue what it was like," said Kit. That was all he wished to say of it, but he found himself being pressed by an attentive, yet patronizing stare. "Okay, fine. But if you make another violin crack, I swear I'm gonna ― "

Karnage cut him off. "Oh, shut up and spit it out. I'm not getting any younger, you know."

Kit grumbled something unintelligible (though the word 'old' was likely in there somewhere), then said, "If you hafta know, I ran away from there because it was like living in a prison. You'll prob'ly know what that's like pretty soon."

"How very clever," Karnage said sarcastically. "Trying to change the subject?"

"No... I just hated it there. The folks who ran the place weren't bad people, they tried. It's just... there you were, and nothing was going to get better about it. It's not like there was anything worth waiting for... so I got out of there. At least when you're on your own like that, you can do things your way... at least try to make things happen. That's the way I like it."

"Like this little vacation you made happen," grumbled Karnage.

"Yeah, well, knowing where you're gonna wake up tomorrow is pretty boring," sighed Kit. He noticed Karnage had a resentful gleam in his eye, though he doubted the wolf was thinking so much about the jungle at that point.

Kit picked up a stone and studied it for a moment, thinking of the gem he swiped out of Karange's hands on the day he renounced the pirates; he tossed it into the fire. "Lots of people think that just 'cause you're not older than dirt, they can treat you like somethin' they just scraped off their foot… I hate that. But it's kinda funny… you didn't know this, but when I was a pirate, I used to…" He hesitated, realizing he had already answered the question well enough. "Never mind."

"No no, go on," Karnage said. "What about 'a pirate'?"

"Since when are you so interested?"

Karnage slumped forward. "Since I became bored and wish to be amused."

"Then why don't you step outside and play lightning rod?"

"Oh please, boy," the captain clasped his hands together imploringly. "The suspense is killing me!"

"No, that's the smell of your upper lip," said Kit, and he thought, 'Dang, I wish someone could have heard that one!'

The wolf's face fell… then he looked stupefied. He curled his lip up to his nostril and sniffed. "There is nothing wrong with my ― "

Kit fell over backwards in a sudden fit of laughter. It made Karnage cringe like someone had driven an ice pick through his ears. "Oh, very funny, you screeching screwball. Are you going to finish your story or not?" Though he would not admit it, his curiosity was piqued at what Kit was about to say; he always knew the boy had the time of his life aboard the Iron Vulture, and that Kit would go at lengths to deny it just to be spiteful.

Kit sat up and wiped his eyes. "Well…" All it took was one more glance at the Captain's lip, and he was back laughing hard enough to make his ribs hurt.

Karnage snorted indignantly, followed by reddened cheeks. Why that ― no one laughs at me! I will show him… "Perhaps you should know, that while you are laughing… there is a big black spider on your arm."

"Nice try," Kit sputtered between chuckles. "Am I supposed to act like a dufus and look now?"

Karnage shrugged. "I have been looking at it for the past two minutos. I think it likes you."

Kit's eyes widened like saucers. He cautiously tipped a glance on at his left arm… where an inch-long arachnid comfortably nestled on his tangled fur. "Aauugh! Getitoff! Getitoff! Getitoff!"

Now it was Karnage's turn to laugh, as he watched Kit squirm and flutter until the spider fell to the ground. It scampered away on its fuzzy legs into the darkness.

"Hee hee! Scared of an itty-bitty spider, my boy?"

"Itty-bitty?" Kit panted. "That thing was all legs and fangs ― it was smiling at me! Why didn't you say something about it sooner?"

"Oh, I am sure I had some reason," the wolf smirked. "What do you know, the courageous Mister Cloudkicker, afraid of ― wait, that thing did not crawl this way, did it?"

"I don't think so…" Kit searched around him for any other eight-legged creepers.

Karnage laughed again. "You should have seen the look on your face!"

Kit shuddered at the thought of it crawling on him, but then started thinking about his reaction; his mouth cracked with a sheepish smile. "Well… I guess I did look pretty silly."

"Now that we agree on!"

"Pfft. Better write down the date."

"So then, you were saying about when you were a pirate?"

"What, you really want to hear?"

"Why not? It is either listening to you or the rain… and the rain is getting on my nervatures."

"Well, I had this friend there once, at the orphanage, I mean. He got sick one time, with a really bad flu. And we had what they called 'inspection'... that's when we'd all line up and a someone would look us over. Sometimes it'd be some sort of social worker, sometimes a couple seein' who they might wanna adopt, like we were on some sorta auction block. There was this one lady who came, I don't know who see was, really, but she was the swanky type, big fancy hat, high heels, and a clipboard. And I guess she was really proud of herself that she was takin' the time to check up on us poor little orphans. It was all a big crock. She'd walk up to each of us, and just stare at us for a minute and write something down on her board. Then she saw my friend, and he was a mess 'cause of his flu. His eyes were red, his nose all runny... he was so tired he could hardly stand up straight. And she gave 'im this face, like… well, she even said it! 'Oh, goodness, how disgusting.' Right in front of him, for cryin' out loud."

"And?" Karnage asked impatiently.

"Well, I knew he was hurt by it… we all did. And she coulda cared less. I just couldn't stand it, so I let 'er have it."

Karnage's eyes brightened. "You hit her?"

"No, but I told her to shut up… loud... and with lots of words. I called her just about every name in the book. I was just so mad..."

Though it had less violence than he would have prefered, Karnage was actually amused thus far... and he wasn't even in the story. "And what happened?"

Kit grinned ruefully. "She stood there and turned purple," he said. "I wish I had a picture of it. The headmaster had to put his hand over my mouth to get me to stop… Then when I finally did, she chewed him out in front of everyone for having such 'undisciplined brats,' and stormed out of there."

"Then what?"

Kit chortled, though somewhat sadly. "I think I spent the rest of the winter growin' back the fur they skinned off"

"I see… I, of course, would have torn him a new nose-hole."

Kit shook his head. "Fighting back wouldn'ta done any good. I got it pretty good… and all because of that snot-nosed swank."

"And…" Karnage checked his coat to see if it was any dryer; it was, but not by much. "Still waiting for the pirate part."

"I guess it just makes me think of when we used to heist somethin' from those kinds of uppity, prissy people..." A devilish smirk crept up on Kit's face. "I always used to wish we'd somehow nab that one... maybe make 'er clean the latrine with some cotton swabs."

"Careful now, boy," Karnage grinned. "You might make it sound like you had fun."

"Well, it wasn't always that bad…" Then Kit shot Karnage an icy stare. "But nothing worth stickin' around for, that's for sure."

Karnage threw his arms in the air. "Oh-ho-ho, listen to the ungrateful little gorilla now!"

"What exactly do I have to be grateful for, anyway?"

"How estupid can you be? Look at all I gave you!"

"I dunno. Fleas?"

Karnage ignored that one. "What about a home in the clouds? Food in your belly!" Then he pointed at Kit's sweater on the ground. "That shirt you still wear!"

"Get off it, Karnage," said Kit. "You never gave a flyin' fruit basket for anyone but yourself. All that ever mattered to you was you!"

"You think you know everything."

"I know you."

"You know nothing!" Karnage suddenly roared, a frigid growl nested deep within his voice. Startled, Kit looked at him in disbelief. Something had hit a nerve.

Karnage wiped his mouth and collected himself. "What am I getting angry for? I have nothing to answer to you about. You had your chance, boy. All the adventures and the flying, you could have had a fantastical life! You could have been with me! But no-o, you wanted to be the do-good-for-nothing boy of Baloo's!"

"Leave Baloo out of it. Besides, he's twice the man you are."

"Ha!" laughed Karnage, patting his stomach. "You are telling me?"

"And he flies circles around you."

"Oh really? Then why am I always pillaging his cargo?"

Kit folded his arms. "You're just jealous, you know that?"

"J-jealous?" Karnage sputtered.

"That's right. I know it, you know it."

"Me? Jealous of that fat, stinking ― of all the ― Don Karnage does not do jealous!"

"Yeah, whatever you say," Kit said coldly.

There was a long pause between the two. They listened to the sounds of the storm. Karnage watched as a lone bird in the misty distance fought the wind, but was helplessly swept backwards by the mighty gusts. Kit picked up his sweater and slipped it back on. It was still damp, but at least warmer now.

"You really care about that, that… him?" Karnage suddenly asked.

Kit was quiet for a long moment. "Yeah."

The wolf sighed, shaking his head. "Boy, boy, boy… what happened to you."

"He's my best friend," said Kit . "We look out for each other. Shake your head all you want, I don't care. What would you know about havin' friends?"

"Hmph." Karnage examined his claws, scraping the dirt from underneath them. "Way too much, you Benadict bear."

Kit only heard a mumble. "Huh?"

"Nothing," Karnage said bitterly. The nerve of that boy, he thought, after taking him under his own wing, conveying that he, the suave-and-dashing-sabers-flashing pirate he was, was no more than an ugly green ogre that no one in their right mind would ever befriend. Then, after thinking for a moment, an old memory suddenly floated to the surface ― one that, if told just right, might put Kit in his place ― and Karnage resumed his familiar smug expression. "I said, as a matter of factory, there was once someone I… tolerated."

"Tolerated?"

"She, of course, worshiped the ground I walked on. Just one of the very many, if I do say so my-adorable-self."

"Oh boy," Kit groaned.

"It's the truth! She adored me and I lo ― I let her."

"You in love? You never told me that."

"Believe me, boy…" Karnage scooted backwards until he was able to lean against the cave's wall. "There is much I never told you."

"Uh-huh… who was it, then?"

"Her name was... not important," the pirate replied. He had a faraway glint in his eyes, suddenly caught off-guard by his own recollection. "I have not thought about her for ages. Oh, my boy, she was… something."

"Yeah?" In spite of himself, Kit was a little intrigued, for he had considered himself quite skilled at telling when Karnage was bluffing, and this was not one of those times. "How long ago was this?"

"I was… eighteen years old."

If it was difficult for Kit to picture Karnage falling in love, it was downright impossible to imagine him at eighteen. "Wow."

Karnage frowned at Kit's awed expression. "It was not that long ago."

"What'd she look like?"

"Well, she had long, dark red hair, and such sly green eyes. She was very, uh…" Karnage made abstract gestures at his chest. "Lump-tuous."

"I think that's volup ― volp ― aw, close enough."

"Ah yes," Karnage sighed fondly, remembering. "My vo-lumptuous vixen."

"Where was this at?"

"It was a town called Boomstone," Karnage explained. "Such a cruddy place. Dirty streets and horses everywhere."

"That's a cowboy town. What in the world were you doin' there?"

"Is not important what I was doing there."

"Yeah, but ― "

"Do you want to hear what happened or not?" snapped Karnage.

"No, go 'head. This I gotta hear."

"And you should!" Karnage bragged. "Just because I am a man of adventure and freedom does not mean I am not the ladies' pirate, you know."

Kit stifled a groan and let him continue.

"The first time I saw her was when I walked into a saloon."

"Let me guess… she was sittin' at the bar and you sat next to her."

"No… she grabbed me from behind and put a gun to my head."

"Huh?"

Karnage cackled. "She was robbing the place! I saw everyone lying on the ground with their hands behind their heads… and before I knew what was going on, I was her hostage!"

"You're kidding."

"No, really! She told me to shut up and do what she said… and that if anyone gave her any trouble, she would fill the gap between my ears with a bullet."

"So what'd you do?"

"After we were outside, I realized that she was loaded with loot…" Grinning, he added, "And I just happened feel a bit empty in my pockets, you know what I'm saying?"

"You tried to rob her?"

"Of course!" Again Karnage pretended to study his claws. "I grabbed her gun, tripped her, and made her hand over her bag of goodies. She could not believe it!"

"Neither can I… then what'd she do?"

"Then I took the money and ran into an alley. I was just about to open the bag and count what was inside when she tapped me on my shoulder… and ehm… should we say she had quite a powerful kick for someone so slender."

"Good ol' shins."

"No, in the…" Karnage coughed, and drew his legs a bit closer together. "…elsewhere."

"Did she get her money back?"

"Almost… I dropped the gun and we wrestled for it. Then we heard the police coming… we did not want to stick around, yes-no? So, we called a truce, both grabbed the bag, and ran for it."

"What about the gun?"

"We forgot it, but it was not important… I was liking this lady. It seemed we had so much in common. Like our dropping-dead gorgeous looks!"

"How'd you guys shake the cops?"

"We went to her room," Karnage answered. "The inn."

Kit blushed. "Oh."

"It was not like that… she did not live in that town. But she and I, we started talking… and laughing. We told each other all about our wonderful selves. Soon I started to think there was nothing I wouldn't do for her."

"Did you guys split the money?"

Karnage shook his head. "Since she did all the work to steal it, I decided I would not take it from her."

"I bet you wanted to, but she threatened to break your neck if you tried."

"Well, y ― but," and Kit was expecting a 'but' from him somewhere, "We made a deal," Karnage amended. "We agreed to meet again the next day, and discuss plans to ride into the next town and rob a bank… together!"

The more Kit heard, the more unbelievable it all sounded. "Who did she think you were, Wild Bill Hiccup?"

"Impressed?" the captain asked smugly.

"Well, did it work?"

"Three days after that, we took a trip to the next town, and when we were done, we were ten thousand dollars richer," Karnage declared gleefully. "That was just one adoring female fan of yours truly."

"But you're not together. What happened after?"

"Who cares what happened. The point is ― "

"She dumped you," Kit blurted.

For a split second, Karnage recoiled as if jabbed by a knife. Had it not been likely to fuel such suspicions, he wanted to cry foul at the line of Kit's questioning. "I told you, no woman can hold me down."

"What'd you do to make her leave?"

"What is it with you that makes you think everything is always my fault?"

Kit just handed him a look that read, 'You kidding?'

"It was nothing I had done," Karnage said. "Besides… you would not understand. She just was not ready for… for someone like me."

"Well, what'd she do, then?" asked Kit. "I'm just curious, since you brought it up. It's not like whatever you say is gonna end up on the front page of the newspaper."

After a moment of silence, Karnage sighed and concluded the story: "After the bank, we rode to another town. Ten thousand dollars, half of it mine… then, it was more money than I ever had. I was rich! I could have had anything I wanted. So, I… I spend-ed the night with her... but when I woke the next morning, she was gone… with all the money."

"Ouch," winced Kit. "Adoring female fan, huh?"

"Her loss," the wolf said softly. Then he frowned, considering how he had somehow lost the bragging rights he was aiming for in telling the story. "Forget I said anything."

"But ― "

"Forget I said anything," Karnage interrupted, this time with more authority. "Only you could ruin a perfectly good story about my great greatness!"

Kit shook his head. "Don't tell me you had feelings that actually got hurt."

"Think what you will, I could care less." Karnage once again picked up his coat; it was still too damp for his liking. "Will this blasted thing ever dry?" he growled.

"Wait a minute, I thought the whole point of telling me all this was to prove you could care about someone besides yourself."

Karnage raised an eyebrow. "Excusé? I have nothing to prove to you, boy."

"Then why the heck'd you tell me all that for?"

Karnage waved his finger at him, in a parental 'watch-your-mouth' gesture. "You know, there was a time when I quit being amused by your foul-in-the-mouth face… like two minutes after I met you!"

Kit's temper began to rise again. "For cryin' out loud," groaned Kit; his temper was swelling again, and at that point he very much did not want to waste the waking energy he had entertaining Karnage with another fight. "You know, you happen to be the only person I can think of that makes me wanna swear, if that tells you anything."

"Yes, it does," Karnage said, waving his ever-so-prominent finger at him again. "It tells me you are still a rude, beastly little brat with no proper respect, and could stand to be taught some manners!"

Kit tightened his fists, on the verge of flinging a handful of dirt at his face. "I got your manners right here, buster."

"See? You never used to speak to me that way. I taught you respect!"

"What are you talkin' about? We argued all the time!"

"But I always won, the way it is supposed to be."

Kit sighed loudly and cast his eyes aimlessly at the ceiling, pleading for a Higher Authority to drill some sense into Karnage's skull. Most preferably, with a real drill.

"And you know perfectly well that back then, if you swore at me, boy, you would be eating soap for dinner!"

Kit wiped his mouth on his sleeve, remembering that one incident, shortly after he joined the pirates, when he made a little 'outburst' during an argument. He wanted Karnage to take him flying, but Karnage insisted he was too busy and had to sharpen his cutlass. After the incident Kit did not have to literally eat soap, but nonetheless had a pretty big mouthful of suds. Afterwards, he chose his words more carefully in the captain's presence, and Karnage never again rhetorically asked him, 'And what do you want me to do with my sword?'

"Then why did you tell me about that girl?"

"The point, which you ruined with your big mouth and boring questions, was how others quite naturally flock to me."

"Ya know, I guess I was wrong about you," Kit said. "You're even more full of it than I thought."

"Full of it? How dare you ― !"

Kit shouted him down: "Just who do you think you're foolin' anymore?"

"Fooling?"

"Yeah! Here's a breaking newsflash, your goons aren't here! You're not impressing anyone, get it? I can see right through you."

"You listen here, you lousy leech, I ― !"

"And my name is Kit!" he shouted. "Not lousy leech, not filthy flea, and not any of those other stupid names you're always calling me! Read my lips! Kit!"

Karnage pursed his lips wryly. "Kit."

"Thank you," Kit said huffily.

"Huh." Karnage went back to scraping dirt out of his claws. "It sounds like a sneeze."

"At least it doesn't sound like gar-bage."

"I would not be talking about what smelly things my name rhymes with if I were you, boy."

Kit rolled flat on his back and let out a long, frustrated groan. "This is just great," he said to the ceiling. "Just stinkin' great, stuck here with the biggest bag of hot air since the Houndenburg."

"The ceiling wants you to shut up, too" Karnage said, picking more dirt out of his claws.

"Jeez… I dunno how we ever got along before."

Karnage looked up at him. "Who are you trying to fool now?"

"Whaddaya mean by that?"

"Come, boy, you loved being a pirate. You said so yourself."

Kit looked at him incredulously. "No I didn't. I couldn't have made a bigger mistake."

Karnage shook his head. "I do not believe it."

"What, you think you're some kind of shrink doctor now?"

"The truth is the truth… admit it. You had fun when you were with me!"

"That's ridiculous." Kit turned his head away and pretended to watch the storm, wanting Karnage to drop the subject.

"Boy," Karnage spoke with the bickering and one-upmanship fading into a tone of deep seriousness.. "You did what you did, and you left. I do not care about that. But try to tell me you hated it… I know better. I saw it in you."

Kit still ignored him… or at least appeared to do so.

"Remember the first time you came with me on a heist?" asked Karnage. "For that buried gold?"

Their memories traced back to a time when it had not yet been two full weeks since Kit had landed himself with the sky pirates. The small tropical island of Zaui was a favored vacation spot for tourists, sun-seekers, and adventurers… not to mention a preferred locale of seafaring pirates to hide their ill-gotten booty. When the Zaui Museum announced it would be displaying the newly discovered buried treasure of Captain Jacques Lette Mousse, who terrorized the high seas some two hundred years ago, it was more than enough to warrant Don Karnage's attention.

It was well after midnight. The pirates had landed one of their seaplanes in a small cove on the far side of the island, where they would not be noticed easily. From there, they trekked under the cover of darkness through the jungle. Armed with muskets, Mad Dog, Dumptruck, and Gibber accompanied Karnage, as well as the newest addition, "the boy," as Karnage had come to refer to Kit by.

When they reached the museum, they went around back. As Karnage had expected, the back door was locked, and the windows had all been barred shut for the night. Now was the time to see how useful the boy could be.

Karnage rubbed his chin as he examined the two-story building, giving his plan some final thoughts. His crew was under strict orders of silence, under threat of being chopped up into hamster food. Stealth was the key. If someone heard them, they would be outnumbered and outgunned in no time, so trying to break the door down was out of the question. Kit took frequent glances in all directions, making sure they weren't being watched. He was not assigned to be a lookout, but he couldn't help it; he was nervous… very nervous. No picked pocket or swiped store merchandise ever quite prepared him for the task he was presently engaged.

"H'okay," the captain whispered, and turned towards Kit. "Boy, come here." But Kit was transfixed in keeping watch to hear him. "Boy!" Karnage hissed sharply, making him jump. "Get over here!"

Kit scurried over to him, his heart pounding.

Karnage knelt in front of him so he would not have to speak loudly. "Pay attention, my boy, because this is not play-time, understand?" Kit nodded, so vigorously Karnage had to grab his head to get him to stop. "And quit being nervous!"

Then the captain pointed to the top of the building. "Now, listen. You will need to climb up there, and find a venting shaft to get inside, comprende?"

Kit nodded again.

"Good. But there must be a guard in there somewhere, so be quiet, yes?"

Another nodding frenzy.

"And hold your head still," Karnage ordered. He stood up to reexamine the building. "Then you will make your way back down and open this door from the other side. We will handle it from there." Kit tugged on his coat, and Karnage leaned down close to his ear. "What?"

"There's no ladder or drainpipe," Kit whispered. "How'm I supposed to climb up there?"

"Oh," blinked Karnage, and he searched the area for a solution. Then Kit tugged on his coat again, prompting the captain to scowl at him. "What is it now?"

"Do I get a gun?" Kit asked hopefully.

"For the last time, no. Besides, you will need your hands free."

"What if I need one?"

"Here…" Karnage took a dagger he had sheathed in his cummerbund. "If you need a weapon, you will use this, just like I have been showing you."

"All right… but if I need my hands free…?"

"Show me your teeth," Karnage told him.

"Huh?"

Karnage bared his teeth as an example. "Like this."

Confused, Kit compiled, and gritted his own teeth as wide as he could.

Karnage opened Kit's mouth and clamped the blade of the knife in his jaws. "There. Just remember… don't sneeze."

"Wight," Kit replied. Brandishing the knife like that, he imagined himself as a fearsome buccaneer. 'Yeah! Kit Cloudkicker, Terror of Land, Air, and Sea… Pillager of Plunder… Conqueror of Continents… Marauder of ― '

"Boy!" Karnage said sharply. "Snap out of it."

As the Captain resumed his search, Kit took the knife out of his mouth and practiced some of the moves he had learned. It was fun, and it helped calm his anxiety. With bravado, he tossed the dagger from hand to hand, thrust it at an imaginary opponent, and swung it widely as he pivoted… until he suddenly poked something.

"Yipe!" Karnage yelped and jumped, rubbing the seat of his pants, where there was now a small slice in the fabric. He glowered over Kit.

"Uh, sorry." Kit shrank back, grinning nervously. "I suppose you want your knife back now?"

Karnage swiped it out of his hand. "Give me that, you knicker-nicking nitwit!"

Mad Dog, Dumptruck, and Gibber did a poor job of suppressing their giggles, until their boss gave them all a hard stare. They promptly assumed solemn expressions again.

Karnage let out an exasperated sigh and went back to searching for a way to get Kit up to the roof. A trash can… too short. Some old boxes… not enough to reach. The three dumbstruck goons standing behind him… Karnage grinned. "Perfect."

And later...

"Duh, get your foot off my nose," Dumptruck complained to Gibber. It was an amazing sight, if anyone had been around to see it… a makeshift ladder made of a stack of pirates, with Dumptruck at the base, Gibber standing on his shoulders, Mad Dog standing on Gibber's shoulders, and Kit balancing on Mad Dog, reaching for the building's top ledge.

With his hands on his hips, Karnage tapped his foot impatiently as he watched them.

"Steady, guys," said Kit. "I almost got it…"

"Dis stinks," Dumptruck pouted.

"Quit ticklin' my foot!" Maddog called down.

"How many times must I tell you not to make noise!" Karnage shouted, almost causing them to collapse.

"Sor-ry," they moaned in unison.

Kit sprang off Mad Dog's shoulders and pulled himself on top of the roof. Below him he heard a large thud, and a lot of grumbling. He began to search for a way inside right away. Once he found one, he peered down over the edge to report it to the captain. "Looks like a fire hatch or something," he whispered loudly.

Karnage looked up at him. "Can you fit?"

"Yeah, no problem."

Karnage gave him a curt nod. "Hurry, boy. And remember the guards!"

"Right, guards." Kit ducked back to start his infiltration, but reappeared once more. "Psst."

Karnage looked up again, annoyed. "Now what?"

"You sure you won't give me a gun?"

"I am going to give you a kick in the caboose if you do not open this door in two minutos!"

"Uh, gotcha. Be right down."

He lifted the unlatched trapdoor, slowly so the hinges would not squeak. Inside, a ladder descended into a dark room. Kit dropped down, landing feet first into a pail and toppling over, causing a loud crash.

The others heard it from outside and cringed.

"He's gonna mess it all up, boss," Mad Dog mewled.

Karnage didn't reply, but folded his arms and glared at the door. It was a silent warning that one more word and someone was going to be smacked.

Meanwhile, Kit stumbled around, and finally found a light switch. He was in a maintenance closet, full of brooms, buckets, tools, and cobwebs.

The first thing he did was put his ear to the door, and made sure no one was coming ― all was silent. Then he turned the light off and poked his head out into the hall. 'Nobody home,' he thought, and began to gain confidence in his mission. 'I can handle this, easy!'

As he tiptoed down the hall, he looked inside the various display rooms. Most were full of seashells and handcrafted goods, and inside one, he saw the treasure exhibit they had come for. It was presented on a stage, where the curators made an artificial beach scene out of it… the open treasure chest nestled in sand, with gold coins and trinkets inside and surrounding it. Two palm trees stretched above it all, and a purple velvet rope tied to posts surrounded the display, to keep tourists at a distance.

'Wow, a real-life pirate treasure,' Kit thought. Then with a smirk: 'Soon to be reclaimed.' He had to admit, the captain had good taste in what he stole. 'I better get downstairs and let 'em in…'

When he reached the head of the stairs, Kit heard noises from down below, and stopped dead in his tracks to listen. There was music playing, a bit staticy like it was coming from a radio. He listened more carefully, and honed in on a more distinct sound: snoring.

On his hands and knees, he crept down a few steps, and saw, next to the museum's main entrance, a night watchman behind a small table, sound asleep in his chair. A radio on his table was tuned into a light swing-music station.

Kit had an idea, and dashed back to the maintenance closet to find some duct tape.

Five minutes later, Karnage was pacing in circles. "He bumbled it, I know it," he muttered to himself. "What was I thinking? Sending a child to do a pirate's job?"

Just then, the door's lock rattled, and Kit opened it from the other side. "Well well, what a pleasant surprise." Grinning cockily, he bowed and made a dramatic gesture for them to enter. "Please, do come in, won't you? We serve cocktails in ten minutes."

"Boy!" Karnage breathed. "What took so long?"

"Sorry, had to take care of the watchman." Kit jerked his thumb behind him, where they saw the guard gagged and tied to his chair in a swaddle of tape. By the time he had woken up, it was too late for him… he could not yelp or move.

Karnage rubbed his eyes to make sure he was not seeing an illusion. He was only expecting the boy to evade the watchman, not restrain him single-handedly.

"The treasure's upstairs, third door to the left." Kit leaned against the doorway, proudly grinning from ear to ear. "So, pretty good, huh?" He expected a shower of praise, yet…

"Next time, when I say two minutos, I mean two minutos," Karnage said sternly, and brushed past him. Miffed, Kit stuck his tongue out at him behind his back.

"You three come with me," Karnage called back to the others.

"What do I do now?" Kit asked.

"You stay here," Karnage ordered. "Keep a lookout."

Kit scoffed. "If you don't want me in the way, just say so."

"I don't want you in the way," answered Karnage, and led his small entourage inside.

"I dunt want you in de way," Kit mimicked under his breath. He partly understood, though. The captain had already tripped over him twice this week, and that was when there was plenty of light to see.

Karnage and company got right to work, gathering all the golden valuables from the display and packing them into the chest. All except for Karnage, of course… someone had to oversee the labor.

"Hurry, men," he coached them. "Leave nothing behind." Then he looked over the velvet rope, somewhat disappointedly. "Tsk… defloorable. How do they expect to give a proficient pirate such as myself a challenge? Cracking safes with dynamite, now that is where the fun is at, yes-no?"

The pirates had finished loading the chest and where just about to close it when one of the palm trees started to creak.

Karnage was baffled. "Trees do not make noise… do they? Yiiee!" Suddenly, the tree fell, and he ducked; it had narrowly missed his head. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Kit standing where the tree had been... he had pushed it down! Karnage was beside himself. "What ― boy! I told you to stay downstairs! What do you think you are doing?!"

"Better look behind you," was all Kit said.

Karnage did, and started in surprise at what he saw… next to the fallen tree, a second watchman lay sprawled on the floor, unconscious. Near his hands were a wooden baton, apparently dropped on impact. Karnage rubbed the back of his head just thinking about it. "He… he was going to…"

"Give your noggin a floggin'," Kit said. "Good thing I saw him in time."

"You saved m ― I, uh," sputtered Karnage, "that is... ehm... what are you all looking at?!" he barked to his crew. "Get the chest and carry it out of here, pronto! And you, boy, I thought I gave you an order."

"It was cold down there," Kit shrugged. "I didn't wanna wait."

Karnage scowled at him and pointed at the doorway. "Move it!"

"All right, all right," Kit said crossly, and he departed.

Mad Dog and Dumptruck hoisted the chest, each taking an end, and Gibber a side. Karnage followed Kit out, but turned back towards his men before exiting. "I knew he was there, too, you know," he said, motioning toward the watchman. "I was just waiting for the right moment… is lucky for him the boy got him before I did."

They gave him blank stares.

Karnage drew his cutlass. "You believe your captain… ye-es?"

"Duh, yah, boss!" agreed Dumptruck, swiftly.

"Uh, you said it!" chimed Mad Dog.

Karnage was satisfied. "Good! Now let us make like a tree and get out of here!"

Karnage sheathed his cutlass and proudly strutted out to the hall. Suddenly there was a crashing sound… then Karnage's voice resounded through the building: "Boy, if I trip over you one more time…!"

"Yeah," Kit answered quietly, slowly facing Karnage again. "I remember."

"Tell me you did not enjoy it," said Karnage.

"What's the point? It doesn't matter anymore."

"No… it does not. But did you not even say yourself how you liked to plunder from the snobby rich peoples?"

Karnage had him there. "That was then, okay? I was just a dumb kid." Before Karnage could open his mouth with an insult to that remark, Kit interrupted him: "If being a pirate really meant anything to me, I'd still be one."

"And just what is that supposing to mean?"

This time Kit didn't just look away from him, but scooted his entire body to face the mouth of the cave. "You're the genius. Figure it out."

"'If it really meant anything to me,'" Karnage mocked. "I tell you what your problemo is, boy. You were always too selfish!"

Kit purposely did not react at first, as if he had to debate whether or not he was hearing things. Then he tilted his head and patted his ear like an obstinate bottle of ketchup. "Must be mud in my ears. I know you didn't just say what that sounded like."

"That you are a selfish simpleton?"

"Come to think of it, it is normal for you to sound stupid, so I guess it's not my ears that are messed up. It's you."

Karnage looked more bored than insulted. "And you know what my problemo was?"

"Gimme a few days and I'll write up a list."

"I was too easy on you!"

"Easy?"

"Yes, easy! I gave you a mile, you took an inch!" Karnage paused and thought for a moment, wondering if he said that correctly.

"I get it now. You're sore because I didn't follow every little order you gave like everyone else. Well you know what? That's just too bad."

Karnage pointed at him angrily. "Wrong, boy, I am sore because I… I…!"

"Because what?"

"No, I am not 'sore,'" said Karnage. "But answer me this. Did I not treat you better than anyone else on my ship?"

Kit was partly taken aback by the question, especially given from whom it was coming. He could not truthfully deny it, but he would not admit it, either.

"And what good did it do for me?" the wolf continued, not waiting for an answer. "Nothing!"

Kit took a moment to contemplate a response. This was the first time Karnage had ever seemed to indicate anger about him leaving the pirates, and on Kit's part there was some level of vindication felt, for there were feelings that he had learned to let go of since he ran away from the pirates, the wanting he once felt to be significant in the captain's eyes, but it was as if such thoughts were not forgotten but left to thirst in a desert drought, and Karnage had just tempted their tongue with a drop of cool water.

It would have been too awkward to ask him directly, and all reason he had nagging in his mind told him it was best to leave the matter alone, but if Karnage had missed him at all, he suddenly desired to know.

Karnage, meanwhile, felt a sudden sharp pain shoot through his head. He groaned and rubbed his eyes, then mumbled something incoherent about catching the 'blue-bonnet plague.'

Another flash of lightning made something glisten out of the corner of Kit's eye… his compass. He sighed quietly and picked it up, wiping its lens clean on his leg. It was not a valuable piece, made only of tin and crystal, but, save his airfoil, it was his most familiar possession, and, for a time, his most cherished.

He had received the compass from Don Karnage one autumn day. That day, a dark gray veil blotted the Iron Vulture's windows as the airship ascended through and over heavy, weeping clouds. Kit stood just in front of the helm, gazing through the ship's gigantic eye-shaped windshield as if he was watching something in the far horizon, but there was only the opaque gray wall of the storm to be seen.

Close behind, Jock was steering the helm, though he was leaning up against the wheel and snoring ever so quietly, if that still counted as steering. Karnage was sitting in his captain's chair, writing in his diary ― attempting to write, anyway. Every few words he wrote, he would have to stop and shake his quill, as the ink in the jar was running low. "Estupid thing," he muttered. Then, somewhat absently as he flipped through previous pages of his diary, he ordered, "Boy, go get me more ink, will you."

Almost a minute had past before he looked up and realized Kit was still standing there, seemingly lost in his own thoughts. Karange cleared his throat. "Bo-oy..." When Kit still didn't pay attention, he soon got miffed. "Boy!"

Jock snorted and suddenly stood up straight.

Kit finally turned around, looking at him like he had just come out of a trance. "Huh...?"

"Ink! Pronto!" Karnge demanded. As for the old inkwell, he threw that at Jock. "And you stay awake at the wheel!"

"Aye," Jock groaned.

As Kit walked past his chair to get his ink, Karnage asked, "What are you thinking about, anyway?"

"Me? What makes you think I've been thinkin'?"

"I thought perhaps you were trying something new," Karnage replied.

Kit stuck his tongue out at him. "Thpp!" He bolted out the room to get the ink when Karnage looked like he was about to get up after him.

For the most part, it had been an unintentional day of rest for the pirates, as most of the crew was suffering from a dire collective hangover, acquired from a heavy night of celebration. It was Don Karnage's birthday celebration, and it featured rum cake. Extra heavy on the rum.

Karange slumped back against the left arm, slowly nodding off. As several minutes passed, he had all but forgotten about the errand he sent Kit on, and apparently, so did Kit.

After a stretch and yawn, the sound of his diary falling on the floor snapped him back to his senses. He reached in his coat for his pocketwatch to see what time it was, and realized not only had Kit taken far too long to do one simple task, but he had by now forgotten the exact wonderful phrases he was planning to write in his diary... neither fact was very pleasing.

Karnage went to his cabin and saw the boy sitting at his desk, absently fidgeting with a shiny brass fountain pen. "Don't you have planes to wash?"

Startled, Kit suddenly had most of the pen's ink squirted on his sleeve. "Oh... did you still want this?"

The captain dropped his diary down hard on the desk to make a point. "Forget to screw your head on today?"

"Aw, c'mon, so I forgot. After last night, it's a slow day for everyone."

"It is not only you forgot once. And, I warned you to stay away from the cake!"

"I didn't touch the cake," Kit cringed. "It smelled like iodine. No way I was gonna taste it."

"Then what is the problem poking at your miniature mind? You have been fumbling and forgetting things all week!"

Kit hung his head, embarrassed. "I have not."

Knuckles on the desk, Karnage hunched over him with a piercing glare that might as well have been a hot, interrogating spotlight in Kit's face.

"You wouldn't like it if I tried to tell you," Kit said.

"I knew it, one of those things," groaned the captain. With a jerk of his thumb, Karnage told Kit to 'move it or lose it' out of his chair, and took his seat. "Out with it, then, what did you do now?"

"I didn't do anything! You'd think I'm feeling sorry for myself."

"Ah!" Karange smiled with a heap of sarcasm. "Well if it is one of those things... then yes, you are! So stop it! Go do your chores."

With a huff, Kit swung around and began leave. Karange rolled his eyes, took a breath, called after Kit just before he went out the door. "Come back, boy."

"No thanks," Kit sneered.

"I won't tell you again."

With that, Kit stopped and obeyed, although he walked with heavy stomps out of protest. "What?"

"Go ahead. Tell me."

"No, you're right. It's silly."

"Then tell me something silly."

Kit regarded the captain wearily of being made fun of, but he was sitting back in his chair with his hands folded over his lap with some semblance of patience.

"Well, I guess I've been thinkin' about birthdays," said Kit, "and how I've never been to a party before. I don't even know when my real birthday is."

"Real birthday?"

"I found out once that they were goin' by the day I got dumped at the orphanage... whoever left me there didn't tell them anything. No name, no birthday, no nothin'. I don't know why; they weren't allowed to tell me anything about it, or even who it was."

"H'okay, and...?"

"It's lousy. I can't stop thinkin' about it. I wish I could just blink and it would all go away."

"So what is the big deal?" asked Karnage. "Birthdays are another day, you know."

"Yeah, know. One more year closer to walkin' canes and shuffleboard tournaments, huh?"

Karnage shot him a sudden angry look. "Who is?"

"Aw, I was only kiddin'. I'm not really into making big deals out of 'em, either."

"Good."

"Spent my last one takin' cover under a bridge, some fun that was. It rained all day." He shuddered inwardly just thinking about it. "But that's just it... it's not just the birthday thing, but... everything. Why didn't my parents want me. Why everyone else got to have a home, and it was me who had to sleep under bridges."

Kit felt his cheeks warm, and he could not look Karnage in the eye. Right then he wished he would have lied and told him he was just feeling ill, for pirates were supposed to be a great deal tougher than sadness. His voice faltered, though he puffed up his chest for show, "N-never mind, I told you, it's silly. I didn't mean it."

Karnage leaned forward on his knees and gestured for Kit to come closer. "You want me to tell you how to make that all go away?" He snapped his fingers, gesturing that his solution was instantaneous.

"How?"

Karnage waited until Kit was right in front of him before he spoke: "Who cares!"

Kit flinched, his feelings more than a little hurt. "Huh?"

"No, listen and think about it. Who cares why! Who cares who. Perhaps they died bloody deaths, or perhaps they just could not wait to get rid of you. They could have been rich, they could have been poor, so what! If you knew everything about them, what difference would it make?"

"Nothin', I guess," said Kit.

"And nothing will ever change what happened, yes?"

"I know."

"Then forget about them!"

"I know, but..." Kit tugged at his collar; he felt like squirming away, but also he had never come so close to getting the matter off his chest, and he pressed on, "No offense, but maybe it's easy for you to say."

"No, boy, it is just easy," said Karnage. "There are better things than parents and being tucked into bed with warm pajamas. Why worry about where you were? Look where you are!" Karnage reached far back from his chair towards one of the windows, and whisked away the drapes. The sudden onslaught of light made them both blink. Above the rainstorm, the high afternoon sun cast down upon endless waves of soft, white clouds, illuminating them with such a brilliant aura that if one didn't know better, the Iron Vulture could have been passing over Heaven itself. "Above the clouds, above the rain, above the world. Where you always wanted to be, yes-no?"

"More than anything," Kit whispered.

Slightly Karnage nodded, knowingly. "That is all that matters. Yesterday and the days before mean nothing." He straightened the red scarf around Kit's collar, and finished by giving the boy a tap on the cheek with the back of his fingers. "And you have the profound pleasure of having me in charge. What could ever be better?"

Kit finally cracked a smile, then chuckled. His posture changed, with his shoulders and head higher than the moment before, though he still felt too sheepish to utter word of thanks; he pretended to study a map spread on top of Karnage's desk, and cleared his throat. "So where we goin' next, Captain?"

"Anywhere we want," replied Karnage, stretching back in his seat with his hands folded behind his ears. "You are practicing your navelgazing as I told you, yes?"

"You mean navigating? Of course," grinned Kit. "I can draw routes in my sleep, now.."

Karnage opened one of his desk drawers and fished around in it. "Here, I have something for you," he said, picking up a compass. It was unblemished and looked new. "If you want to please me, my boy, I expect nothing but the best. If you ever want to be a pilot one day who can tell his flaps from a hole in the ground, keep it with you."

"No kiddin'?" Kit accepted it with both hands. "I can keep it?"

Karnage shrugged. "It's yours."

"Thanks… I don't know what to say."

"Yes, yes, I know. I am wonderful."

Kit admired the compass for a moment, but suddenly felt ashamed. "But when I mentioned birthdays, I didn't mean... you didn't hafta ― "

"Don't make me stick it in your ear, boy," Karnage interrupted. "I am not doing anything."

"Oh, right." Kit said. "Just for doin' my job, right?"

"And why don't you go do it?" asked Karnage.

Kit took the hint and left for the hangar immediately. Halfway there, he stopped to look at his new compass, dipping it to and fro in his hand until it pointed North, and he saw his own reflection in its crystal face. There was a smile there he could not make go away if he tried.

Kit set the compass down on the dusty cave floor; the reflection he saw in its crystal was a countenance far removed from the one he saw when it was first given to him. "Sometimes, you were okay," he said quietly. "Sometimes."

"Okay? You know, you were not always as estupid as you are now. You used to know I was marvelous!"

Kit snorted, noticing that Karnage did not say 'think' or 'believe,' but 'know'. "I didn't say marvelous. I said okay."

Karnage folded his arms and huffily looked away. "So you say now."

"By the way, Your Smugness, I was just thinkin' about the time you told me that birthdays were no big deal… that they were just another day."

Karnage allowed himself to glance at him again, and at the compass lying at his side. "And?"

"And… I never got the chance to tell you you're a hypocrite."

A perplexed eyebrow raised on Karnage's forehead. "Now not even your insolent insults are making sense. I am a wolf!"

Kit rubbed his hand down his face. "I said hypocrite. That means you say one thing and mean the other."

Karnage was still puzzled. "The other what?"

"Thing."

"What thing?"

"Whatever thing you don't mean!"

Karnage pondered him for a moment. "Are you feeling sick, too?"

"No. What I'm tryin' to say is that you told me that they were no big deal, but when your birthday came around, you were singin' a different tune: 'happy birthday to me.'"

Karnage shrugged. "So? Someone's birthday must be celebrated… why not mine? Besides, it is not everyday a special person such as myself turns twenty-nine."

"And that's another thing… that crock about you being twenty-nine. You're thirty-thr ― "

"I am twenty nine!" Karnage insisted. "And who told you?"

"No one had to. I just asked Gibber one day how many times you've thrown yourself a twenty-ninth birthday party."

"That loud-mouth," Karnage grumbled.

"Well, that's what a hypocrite is. You."

Karnage wrinkled his nose in confusion. "Someone who has a birthday?"

Kit sighed, frustrated. "Never mind. Bet you threw yourself a big birthday bash this year, too."

"Who would not want to celebrate such a glorious occasion? You, perhaps, but that is your problemo."

"Glorious? That's not how I remember the last one I saw…" Then he smirked. "Remember when Mad Dog got sloshed and sang 'My Buddy' to you?"

Karnage cringed at the memory… his head ached worse just thinking about it. "That was not funny."

"Yeah, it was," Kit laughed. "It was one present you deserved. Oh! And let's not forget about Christmas, when you drank that eggnog all by yourself… the stuff you didn't know Dumptruck made!"

"Oh no…" Karnage's eyes turned red and watery, and he clenched his stomach; despite his fur, his cheeks looked green and bloated. "Do not say one word about that!"

"What was in that stuff, anyway?"

"Boy, I'm warning you!"

"I mean, eggnog's not supposed to bubble, is it?"

Karnage went a little cross-eyed.

"You were in the bathroom for five hours!" laughed Kit.

Karnage shot to his feet, hunched over. "Curse it all, boy, I told you to shut up!" He snatched up his coat and threw it around his shoulders, then ran out of the cave and out of sight with his tail wrapped between his legs.

Kit blinked. "Huh… I guess he really is sick."