Title: Scared Sightless
Disclaimer: If I owned I probably wouldn't have so much time on my hands…
Warnings/spoilers: To be safe I'll say the first three seasons but major spoilers for season 3 specifically 3x15, Time is on My Side.
A/N: I'm not sure the time line is right but the show never really said and I think I can use a bit of creative license here. Hope that doesn't bother you all. Thanks to GidgetGal9 for all her help on this chapter. She's been such a wonderful friend and I've only had the pleasure of meeting(well writing) her a week ago. Thanks also to Gidgetgal9 and Woodburner for being my awesome betas!
Summary: Dean's timing is everything, one second later and things can go much differently. Time is on my Side (3x15) tag with added hurt/limp Sam.
~*~*~
Bobby listens to Dean's speech, praying it will work, but knowing if it does it's only because Sam is not exactly running on all cylinders. Still, it shocks him how easily Sam does in fact fall for their little plan and it makes his stomach churn; he hates lying to the boy, especially about something so serious. Of course Dean's been in charge of caring for Sam since he was just a kid himself so Bobby doesn't argue that he knows what's best.
When finally the tension in the room breaks and the brother's fall silent, Bobby steps in and clears his throat, "If you two are done being girls, lunch is ready."
Dean's eyes narrow and Bobby can feel the daggers being shot at him, but in that moment everything is forgotten when Sam's laughter reaches their ears. Suddenly neither Dean nor Bobby can stop themselves from smiling, the joy of seeing Sam happy for the first time since the whole ordeal started, is just too much to even try and hide.
"Well I'm glad one of you appreciates my humor." Bobby laughs himself, clapping Dean on the shoulder with a wink. "Now how about those sandwiches."
"Yea," Sam continues to laugh as he allows Dean to help him onto his feet. "Dean's stomach is talking more than his mouth."
"I can't help it!" He glances down at his growling stomach. "I haven't eaten in almost a day, dude! That's a life time for me."
"Better feed him before he keels over then huh?" Bobby squeezes Sam's right arm as he speaks and helps Dean guide the youngest hunter into the kitchen.
"You two think you're real funny." Dean huffs.
"Aw, Dean," Sam tilts his head in Dean's direction, his arm slowly searching out Dean's shoulder, running up his brother's arm until he hits his mark. "Don't be bitter. You can pick on me again once I'm able to see."
"What's stopping me now, little brother?" He gently removes Sam's hand and pushes him down onto the chair. "Does it make you feel better to see my stunning face as I insult you?"
"You're just too chicken to pick on the blind guy."
"Only because it would be an extremely unfair fight."
"I bet I could still take you down without my eyesight."
"Your on, Stevie Wonder." Dean playfully slaps Sam's cheek, receiving an elbow to the gut in return.
Bobby shakes his head at the two, enjoying the light humor being exchanged. The airs been so tense amongst them, no one knowing exactly what to say or how to say it, but for the moment things are normal. At least it is as normal as possible with the Winchesters. Even though Bobby knows Sam's mood is due to false hopes, he's just glad to see both boys smiling.
It only takes seconds for Dean to spot the delicious sandwich in front of him and he's pretty sure he's drooling a little before he shoves a huge bite into his watering mouth. The sandwich is almost completely devoured before he realizes the other two at the table have yet to touch their own meals. Bobby stares at him in disgust and Sam keeps his head down, an obvious blush spreading across his cheeks.
Dean shoves the last bite into his mouth and smiles at Bobby as he chews his food, enjoying the older man's obvious displeasure. His attention then shifts to Sam as he wipes away the crumbs from his mouth, wondering why his brother has suddenly gone silent again.
"You're not going to insult the chef now, are ya Sammy?" His confusion grows when Sam just shrugs instead of actually bothering to answer the question. "Aren't you hungry?"
"I am." Sam keeps his head down, words barely above a whisper and Dean strains his ears to hear them.
"Then why don't you eat?"
"I can't."
Sam's behavior suddenly makes sense and Dean mentally kicks himself for being so stupid. He should've known Sam's going to have trouble eating. Without eyesight, simple, everyday tasks become a challenge and eating is definitely one of them.
Dean turns toward Bobby as if hoping he would hold some kind of solution but Dean's own mind finally kicks into action, everything piecing itself together.
"No one's going to laugh at you, Sam." He grabs Sam's hand and gently places it beside the plate. "I know it'll be a little different at first, but I bet you can find that big mouth of yours. Give it a shot."
Sam stays silent this time, trying forget his pride for the moment and just listen to his brother but the embarrassment seems to great. He too knows he can do it but he doesn't want to sit here, knowing both Bobby and Dean are watching him miss his own mouth like a dang moron.
"Well," Dean understands Sam's embarrassment and he nods toward Bobby, indicating toward the doorway. "You can sit in here and decide whether you want to eat or not. Bobby and I will be in the study researching a hunt."
He watches as Sam's head perks up, a smile once again curling at the younger hunter's lips and Dean knows all his little brother needed was a little push and a bit of privacy.
Bobby follows him out of the room, a bit confused by Dean's words, knowing that just a few minutes ago, Dean's only focus had been on helping Sam,
"So you're going to hunt?" He waits until they reach the study before he grabs a hold of Dean's arm, turning the younger man toward him. "You do know that you're still going to hell in a few days, right?"
"Gee, Bobby," Dean smiles sadly at the mans blunt nature. "Way to be gentle and caring."
"I'm just saying, now's probably not the best time to hunt."
"I realize that."
"Then why lie to Sam even more?"
"Because I want him to think everything is normal." He drops onto the chair behind Bobby's desk, his head falling into his hands. "Maybe if he thinks there's a hunt then he'll snap out of it and his vision will come back."
"Lets just let him digest our first lie."
"I'm only lying to help him, Bobby."
"I know, kid."
"Then why does it feel so wrong?"
~*~*~
"Hand me the lantern," Dean watches Sam's searching hand feel over the different tools laying out on the ground before they finally recognize the requested item. "Thanks, man."
"No problem," Sam smiles, his head and eyes turned slightly to Dean's left. "I'm going to go get a drink, okay?"
"I'll come with you." Clipping the light onto the hood of the car, Dean steps back and wipes his hands onto the towel.
"I think I can handle it."
"It's getting dark, Sam." He shakes his head at himself, realizing how ridiculous that observation is.
"It's been dark for two days, Dean." Sam's smile relieves Dean's guilt but there's still a hint of sadness in his words. "I've adjusted, I know my way around here."
With a sigh Dean finally gives in, "Just be careful, okay? Holler if you fall or something."
"You're sentiment warms me."
"Get," Dean nudges Sam toward the house and makes to turn back to his work but instead watches Sam's retreating form until his brother is out of sight.
It's been a rough two days on all of them but Sam's right, he's adjusted quite well. The kid's been able to come to terms with not having his vision and Dean's pretty sure that it has to do with him feeling as though he can relax, not worry about losing a brother in a few days. Dean on the other hand, is getting more and more anxious as the hours roll by, hoping, praying, that Sam's vision will miraculously return in the nick of time.
Sam's been happy though and that's really all that matters at this point. He knows the truth, that despite what Sam believes, he will still be going to hell, but that just makes him all the more pleased to see Sam smile. Even though his brother's hopes are false, he certainly feels better spending his last days with a happy, optimistic Sam rather than the guilty and lost version he's been sharing a car with for the last eleven months.
He finally shakes himself out of his thoughts, with a sad smile and returns to his work, no longer sure exactly what it is he's looking for under the hood. The cars probably in better shape than it has been since his father first bought it, but it's always been his escape, his way to forget everything going on around him.
"Whatcha looking for?" A rough hand claps him on the back and he straightens quickly, catching his head on the hood.
"Damn it, Bobby." He rubs at his head, turning to face the older hunter. "I just thought I'd give her a tune up, got nothing else to do."
"You could be helping me find an actual escape plan."
"I can't do that."
"Right," Bobby nods, knowing all the fine print. "It's just that I'm running soul saving duty all on my own now. That's a lot of pressure for an old man like me."
"Aw come on," Dean smiles and slaps Bobby on the shoulder. "You're not that old."
"Keep laughing." He pushes Dean's arm away and turns to head back toward the house but stops. "Where is that brother of yours?"
Dean turns back the car and ducks under the hood once more, "Went to get a drink."
"That's odd," Thinking for a second, Bobby retraces his steps, mentally trying to remember if he'd passed Sam on his way out of the house. "I didn't see him."
"What?" Dropping his tools and forgetting all about the Impala, Dean turns his undivided attention on Bobby. "What do you mean?"
"Relax, I'm sure he's fine," Bobby holds his hands up in front of him. "It's just that I came from the house and I should have passed him if that's where he was headed."
Dean's mind kicks in with a million what if's and he finds himself pacing back and forth in between Bobby and the car. He told the kid to holler if something happened and Sam would have done just that so nothing's wrong, right?
It dawns on him that this is Sam he's talking about and of course his little brother wouldn't call if something had happened. No, Sam would lie in pain, trying desperately to figure his own way out, it's the patent Winchester way. Dean understands but her certainly doesn't like it.
"Sam!" He rushes off in a jog, following the path he watched Sam walk a few minutes before, stopping when he could no longer see the Impala behind him. "Sammy!"
"Dean?" The voice comes from his right, no more than twenty feet away, but it sounds quiet and ashamed.
"You okay, Sam?" He follows the voice, nervous of what he'll find but thankful Sam's okay, or at least speaking.
"I'm fine."
He stumbles a few times as he jogs toward where he believes his brother is, finally slowing when he catches a glimpse of Sam's shaggy hair from over the hood of an abandoned car. With a sigh of relief he takes a second to catch his breath, and slow his heart beat before closing the distance between himself and Sam.
"What happened?" His eyes scan over Sam, falling instantly on the scrapped knees and the torn palms resting atop Sam's thighs.
"I tripped." Sam's head falls forward, his bangs covering his eyes.
"Why didn't you call me?" Dean squats down beside Sam, checking that the injuries weren't any more serious than scrapes.
"Because I'm embarrassed, Dean."
"Sam-"
"No," He cuts Dean off, knowing exactly what his brother is going to say and he's about tired of hearing it. "I should be able to adjust. My other senses should be picking up the slack, but instead I keep fumbling around like a klutzy child."
"Well you always were a klutz."
"It's not funny, Dean." He shakes his head, closing his hands into fists but wincing when the movement pulls on his cuts. "I'm tired of being so dependent. You can't be with me twenty-four seven."
"I've been giving you space, man."
"And look what happened!"
"Chill, okay," Dean cups the back of Sam's neck with one hand, his other reaching out to tip Sam's chin upward. "It'll be okay. Your vision will come back eventually. You just have to be patient. Until then, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
"I know," Sam smiles and reaches for his jean pocket. "Because I have…" His eyes grow wide and he flies to his feet, nearly falling over but Dean is quick to steady him. "It's gone!"
Dean keeps him upright as Sam furiously digs through his pockets, searching every last one for the charm but coming up empty handed. He bites his lip to keep from screaming out in frustration as he drops to his knees with a wince, hands furiously feeling around the dirt.
"I'm sure it's here somewhere, Sammy," He wants to tell Sam it's all a lie, that the charm isn't worth all of this commotion, but he honestly doesn't know which would be easier for his brother to take at the moment. "Calm down, man."
"I have to find it, Dean!" He picks his head up, eyes shinning with unshed tears. "I can't let you go to hell, not now. Not ever."
"Sammy, please." Dean grabs his shoulders and pushes him back into a sitting position, shifting to hold Sam's arms still. "Bobby and I will find it, but you need to calm down."
"I'm sorry," The tears break loose and Dean cups Sam's face, his thumbs gently brushing away the tears. "I screwed up again."
"No you didn't," He keeps his voice soft, despite his desire to scream at Sam. "We'll find it, Sammy. I promised that I wasn't going anywhere and I'm not breaking that promise, you hear me?"
"Yes." Sam nods sadly and takes a deep breath, pulling himself together once more.
Dean smiles to himself, pleased that his promise is enough for Sam to go on at the moment; that his word is still enough to calm his brother. He hops up onto his feet, gently grabbing Sam's wrists and pulling his brother up with him.
"Let's get these cuts taken care of first."
~*~*~
By the time Sam's cuts were all cleaned up and the three stopped to have dinner, it was already ten, leaving only the moonlight glistening off the rusted mounds of cars. Bobby and Dean set out right after dinner, scanning the entire junkyard with the aid of the flashlight for about an hour. Despite all their searching they still come up empty handed and end up right back where Dean found Sam in the first place.
"You're going to have to tell him, Dean." Bobby wipes his arm across his sweaty brow. "We're not going to be able to find it."
"Then we'll buy another one, Bobby."
"I don't even know where to find another one. That thing's at least twenty years old." He shakes his head and turns off his flash light, signally that he is done searching. "You're just going to have to give it up and tell him."
"I can't."
"Won't is more like it."
"Damn it, Bobby, you don't understand."
"That's where you wrong, boy." He stalks closer to Dean, finger jabbing toward the younger man's chest, forcing him backwards. "I do understand, but I can't sit here and watch you lie to that kid anymore. Right now he thinks he lost his brother's get out of jail free card and he's a mess, but how do you think he's going to feel in about two weeks when he has to watch or listen to you be taken by those damn hounds?"
"But-"
"But nothing! You see how he is right now. It's going to be ten times worse when that deal comes due. Not to mention his resentment toward you for lying." Bobby backs off, giving Dean a little room to process everything. "Now is that how you want this all to go down?"
"I don't know what else to do." Dean rubs his hands over his face in frustration. "The doctor said not to tell him everything, to make him feel safe. That's what I'm doing and it's not working. Now you want me to tell him that I'm still screwed, that nothing has changed, I'm still going to leave him behind and there's nothing he can do about it? Tell him that he's going to lose me as well as his sight?"
"Doctors don't know everything, Dean." He taps his palm against Dean's chest right above his heart. "Sometimes only a big brother knows what to do."
"But I don't know, Bobby."
"You knew how to make him feel safe, how to make him believe everything was alright," Bobby crosses his arms and takes a few steps back. "I'm sure you know what he needs to hear to believe that your okay, that eventually everything's going to be okay."
Dean just stares at him for a few minutes, digesting everything that's been said but realizing that bobby makes far too much sense. It amazes him just how wise the old man can be.
"You're right."
"I know," Bobby smiles and turns to head back to the house. "Now lets get back to Sam before he stumbles down the stairs or something."
"I think its when he's going up them that we should be concerned."
The two of them laugh as they walk back toward the path and back to where they left Sammy sitting on the porch. Neither bother looking any further for the lost charm, Dean finally realizing exactly what he needs to tell Sammy.
It may not get Sammy's sight back, but Bobby's right, it's more important that Sam be prepared for what's to come. Lying at a time like this will only do more harm than good.
Dean smiles when he catches the first glimpse of his brother sitting on the lawn chair Bobby unfolded for him. He chuckles at how Sam's seated, slouched in the chair with his legs thrown up onto the porch railing, head leaning against the chair's back.
"Nice of you two to finally join us." A familiar female voice breaks the silence as Dean finally picks up on the shadowy figure sitting on the steps.
Judging by the way Sam flies up, feet falling to the floor with a loud thud, his head darting in all directions, it's obvious he was unaware of the intruder until now. Thankfully Sam manages to catch himself from falling out of the chair and he hops onto his feet, cautiously moving toward the voice.
"Sammy!" Dean's voice halts Sam's movements. "Stay where you are."
"It's okay, Dean." The woman snickers. "I'm not going to hurt him, yet."
"What do you want, Bela?" His hand moves toward his waist band, reaching for the gun he's thankfully hiding there.
"Honestly," She stands up and heads back down the stairs, standing an equal distance between Sam and Dean. "I want your brother. Well, Lilith wants your brother. I want out of my deal."
"Lilith?" Sam moves a bit further.
"You see," Bela pulls out her own gun and aims it toward Sam, unbeknownst to him. "Lilith holds both mine and Dean's contract. The little colt of yours didn't seem to be enough for her to break mine, so she upped the price."
"Let me guess?" Dean growls in anger, pulling out his own gun. "She wants you to kill Sam."
"Bingo."
"Well too bad," He smiles and moves around Bela, keeping his gun trained as he puts himself between her and Sam. "You'll have to go through me first."
"Oh I know," She gives him her own smile and then cocks her gun. "That's the plan."
~*~DontKnowMyName~*~
Thanks for making it to the end! I'm really excited about this chapter and I hope you guys enjoyed it.
Gidgetgal9 was absolutely wonderful with helping out, she suggested bringing Bela into the storyline and I think it works wonderfully
I've never written any other characters from SPN other than the Winchesters and Bobby so I hope I got her character down alright.
If you all have time I'd really LOVE to hear what you thought. Your reviews get the motivation and creativity running.
Hopefully I wont be as long updating next time, but I'm going away in a few days so I wont have much time to write.
Thanks for sticking with me!
Pimping-
Faydartmouthand Sendintheklowns have a lovely SPN fic exchange going on over at Livejournal. It's called the Summer_of_Sam_Love. It's a really neat idea. All stories are Sam centric and focus on the awesomness that is Sam Winchester. Of course other characters are welcomed and Sam can be presented in any way (sick, limp... those would be my favorite?) as long as he's being awesome. Go on over and sign up before it's too late! It's going to be a great time!