"I really am not in the mood," said Sonny, somberly.

He was looking at the piñata that Mark was setting up. Cathy had wandered back to her other friends and it was just him and Tony standing on the stoop.

"Yeah, I don't want to see it, either. Bunch of drunk fuckers with bats and blindfolds, oh, Lordy."

"You don't even know."

Tony tapped Sonny's shoulder and gave him a playful smile. "Let's go somewhere, okay? We can—"

"We can talk, I guess," said Sonny. He didn't want to take him to the laundry room, he thought instantly. But then he didn't want to examine that thought further. "You know what? Maybe they're still playing cards in my bedroom? You like cards?"

"They're playing cards in your bedroom?"

"They were," he shrugged. Will had said he lost $10. Sonny sighed. "Come on."

Sonny led the way in to the house, walking against traffic, as several groups of people were trying to come outside.

Tony grabbed Sonny's arm as soon as they stepped in. Sonny frowned and looked down at it, not really caring for the intensity of the touch.

"Which way's your bedroom, handsome?"

He looked quizzically at Tony, wondering why he was stopping him. "This way," Sonny motioned, pointing towards beyond the kitchen.

"Then let's go this way." And he pulled Sonny up the stairs. "Sounds like your room might have a crowd." Sonny numbly followed Tony, watching him as he curiously poked his head in the first door. It was Linnea's bedroom, across the way from the upstairs bathroom.

"No one is here," Tony said. "Just how we need it." He went into the bedroom, neverminding that it didn't belong to either of them. Neverminding that he had no permission. He watched Tony absentmindedly toss aside Linnea's Cookie Monster stuffed animals, and sat on the bed, like he did it everyday. He leaned back against the headboard and smiled expectantly at Sonny.

Sonny stayed by the doorframe. He wanted to tell Tony to get his shoes off Linnea's butterfly bedspread. But he also didn't want to tell the guy to start undressing.

"Come over here," said Tony. He patted the side of the bed next to him.

Sonny contemplated moving. What he wanted to do if he got over there, was pick up the poor stuffed animals he just threw on the floor. Linnea really took good care with these childhood guys, and always had them looking comfortable on her bed during the day. But Sonny also didn't want to even come closer.

"You want to talk?" asked Sonny. He didn't move.

Tony shrugged indifferently.

From downstairs in the living room, Sonny could suddenly hear his favorite Asteroid Crush song begin playing. The sound was muffled and distant, but it might as well have been blaring in Sonny's head.

'I'm an idiot,' thought, Sonny. Oh my god, oh my god, I'm an idiot. He was replaying the scene in his mind: Will telling him he doesn't just kiss for fun and games. Sonny instantly pulling away and blowing him off.

How cold could Sonny have been?

No, that's not how it went, did it? Will had decided not to kiss him and then he was the one who wanted to leave the laundry room, right? Maybe he wasn't interested, reasoned Sonny. He just wasn't into me, so he said that, excused himself…

That didn't seem right. He had been interested, hadn't he? There had been a connection, there, Sonny was sure of it.

I'm not that kind of guy, Will had said. And what had Sonny done? Quit everything, like Will wasn't worth the investment. Basically, Sonny had said with his actions, well, then, goodnight, let's not waste our time anymore. Will had told him there would be no kissing. Then Will, the considerate guy that he was, had been the one to let the situation go, to say he had to get back to his friends.

He just wanted to give Sonny a chance to go find someone else, then, to go hit on, since he wouldn't be giving him what he wanted, he figured. He gave him this out, and Sonny had taken it. Talk about being a jerk.

Sonny didn't say what he should have said. He didn't say, that's alright, I like talking to you, let's just do that. He should have. It was true.

He would rather be talking to Will right now and NOT kissing him, than kissing anybody else.

To hell with his plan even though it was super well-thought-out ('Not, really, was it? It had a bunch of holes didn't it, Sonny?' he chastised himself) It wasn't the time to think about boyfriends or exes or anything other thing that got in the way of what he wanted right now. Right now, he just wanted to see Will again.

"I gotta go," he said to Tony. "I'm a jerk."

Now, he felt like a double-jerk for what he was doing to Tony.

Tony's smile only flickered for a second. Then he smiled easy, as he swung his legs over the side, still staring at Sonny. "Okay, I guess. No biggee."

"I thought…when I talked to Cathy, I thought I knew what I wanted. But that might not be it, anymore. And..I just.."

"Fine," said Tony. "It's fine, really."

"Look, it's not you. I have to actually go talk to someone right now…"

"Really," said Tony getting up and coming in front of Sonny. "You can stop apologizing. It's not a big deal. Go ahead."

Sonny left. He needed to find Will.