1 week later
"What the hell is this!" James shouted, running through the door holding up a magazine. On the front cover there were three pictures, one of me and Kendall having coffee, one of Kendall with his arm around me helping me to run from the shop, and one of us in the back seat of the car, my face in his jacket, his arms around me and my legs pulled up, with his chin resting on my head.
"Paparazzi took it the wrong way, we were catching up and having a coffee and, you know how badly I freak out when I'm in a crowd that's focussed on me. They chased us and Kendall pulled me out of the coffee shop" I paused to take a breath "and we ran to the car. I completely broke when we were in the car because it reminded me of what my stepdad and mom used to do to me and Kendall just helped me out. There isn't anything going on. I swear" I told him. He seemed satisfied with that.
"It looks like a bit more than that" okay, maybe not.
"James! Are you serious!" I shouted.
"Yes! Why would he need to put his arm around you to pull you out of a shop!"
"Why would you not just bloody trust me!"
"Because it looks like you were cheating on me!"
"Why would I do that!"
"I don't know!"
"If you don't trust me then how can I trust you!"
"I do trust you!"
"No you don't! Kendall trusts me! Carlos trusts me! Logan trusts me! You accused me of cheating on you with him! He's been my best friend since I was five years old, James! If you don't trust me, how can I date you!"
"Are you saying-?"
"Yes I am! James, if you can't trust me and that just hurts. We're..." I contemplated whether I should finish the sentence. "We're done"
I sat in my room at Sara's place, staring at the ceiling. I was in pain. How could he not trust me? I asked myself over and over again. I had explained to Sara. She happily let me move back in. She had Brook and Kay sharing a room now, so I had my old room back. My phone buzzed. I took it off of one of the five boxes I had in front of me, all containing stuff from my old room at Kendall's apartment.
Where are you? – K
I sighed and flopped onto the bed. Tears wanted to erupt from my eyes, but they couldn't.
Home – C
Within moments my phone rang in my hand. I double checked the caller ID before answering.
"I didn't hear your phone ring, so you're clearly not at home"
"Yeah I am. I'm back with Sara. And you guys have another spare room"
"Why are you back with Sara?"
"Ask James"
"You didn't?"
"I did"
"Why?"
"He didn't trust me. I explained the magazine pictures, but he didn't believe me! So I broke it off. I can't love someone who doesn't trust me"
"I'll be there in five" the line went dead.
I spent those five minutes singing along to the radio.
If it's not like the movies, that's how it should be...yeah
He entered the room while I was singing, and lay down next to me. He sang along for a verse and the radio shorted out. I tossed a pillow at it in a swift movement.
"Bloody radio" I spat, a shake infected my voice. He knew I was close to tears.
"It's alright to cry, you know."
"No it isn't. It's a sign of weakness."
"Everyone has their weak moments" he reasoned. I opened my mouth, but I didn't say what I thought I would.
"It just hurts, but at the same time it doesn't"
"I guess maybe you guys didn't have anything left to say"
"Yeah..." I sighed, looking out the window "Maybe". The rain outside thudded quietly on the window. It looked the way I felt.
"So do you want him back?" he asked. It caught me off guard. I thought I had loved James, but now...i felt nothing. It was like I had been with him for the sake of being with him. I looked for that feeling and tried to put it with James's face...but it just wouldn't fit.
"Actually. No"