chapter 6 +
I stared up at the blue sky, twirling a daisy around my finger.
"I will not shed a tear...for it will be wasted...I will not cry for fear...only for joy...I will not hate another...for it will be a mistake." I sang. My mother sang that to be every night when father was away. He had left to visit his family for a month due to an illness and my nother said I had wasted my tears. Now I know what she meant.
I rolled over on my stomach and looked at my flower. My face twisted.
"If only you had freinds, then you wouldnt wilt." I told it.
I dropped it on the ground and lifted myself up. I wiped off my hands and started back to were I left off.
The Dawns had made a scare crow for me since the last insedent. Said there shouldnt be anymore attacks.
I pulled the overalls on it tighter and fastened it with a clip.
"There." I said finally done. I smiled at what they had done for me. Charles still keeps to what he thinks the are...nosey.
I gathered up some dirt and wiped my hand together. I wiped some under my eye to cover up the hit I had received two days ago.
I sighed and made my way back to the house. Charles was at work so I just fixed some things up. I cleaned the kitchen and starightened up our room. The bathroom was scrubbed for hours and the living room was dusted. I fixed the fence from where it loosened and even tied a swing to the tree.
I smiled at my accomplishments.
"Well then," I said wiping my hands.
I turned and made my way inside again.
I pulled out some things in the cabnet I had recently bought and made dinner.
I light the match and set the oven while stirring a batch of vegtables for the soup. I had taken lessons from Leslie for awhile about cooking. Occationally I would go over to her house and ask for a tip or some help.
I made the batter for the corn bread. I set out a pan and poured the ingredients into it still stirring.
I placed it inside the oven and put the soup on the stove. I kept mixing and humming to myself.
The soup looked just about ready so I placed it to the side. After doing that I went and chopped up some frshly peeled potatoes and set them in a large bowl. I grabbed a tool to help me and mashed them to a white a fluffy goo.
Smelling that the corn bread was ready I then opened the ovent to pull it out. It was perfectly golden to perfection. I also set that next to the soup and pulled out a slice of meat.
This time I made sure it wasnt roast beef. I poured seasoning on it to make it mouth watering. After it was cooled I placed it next to my other dishes.
There was nothing else to do...I ran a list through my head of what to do. I could help out Leslie...but then Charles will see and be upset. I could dust some more...or clean...or set the table.
It clicked and I ran to the closet and pulled out a yellow silk cloth and some red candles.
I draped it over the table and lit the two candles.
"Perfect." I said.
I saw a peice of paper on the table. I went over to throw it away but it gave me an idea.
I should write mother.
Next to it was a pencil so I got started.
Dearest Mother, I wrote
Im so terribly sorry that I havent written you or made any contact for that matter since the wedding. I have been busy here though with Charles. We have a lovely house out here. Its not to far from you so you can come by anytime. Just make sre to warn me so I can make a wealthy dinner.
Charles says hello by the way. He is at work at this moment but misses you so. Has anything been going on over there? Anything I have missed? Well I must go now. Please do write back soon!
Love,
Esme
It hurt to write that since I kne I wouldnt get a letter in return. I hid the letter under the bed so that one day like this I could mail it without Charles knowing.
There was loud thuds coming from downstairs. I raced down to meet Charles at the front door. He kicked off his shoes and came over to me in a strong hug that hurt my ribs.
"Make dinner?" he grumbled.
"Yes...I actually slaved over it."
He snickered, "Well it went to waste. Its awful."
My eyes widdened, "Excuse me?"
"I didnt stutter. This is horrible...awful...miserable. The food is gross."
I was turning hot, "Well I tried very hard to make it all."
"It was worthless." He said stirring the soup.
"But I tried."
"Listen...I dont want to hear you cry you understand? Today was a hard working day and I just cant taje it today."
"You never take it." I covered my mouth. His hands were over my throat and backed me against the wall.
"What did you say?" he said through his gritted teeth.
"Nothing." I choked out. He pressed harder.
"No! What did you say?"
"Alright! I said...you never take it." he flung me to the table knocking it over. A candle burnt my hand and I let out a terrible scream.
"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" he screamed.
I tried to cover my mouth. Tears were rolling down faster and faster. I flung myself to the sink and ran my burnt hand under the cold water.
"Ow!" I said.
He pushed me aside and washed his own hands while mine were burning.
I just stared at him and then to the mess. I walked over and cleaned up what I could trying to hole the tears back some more.
"Im sorry." I apologized.
"God Esme! Dont make such a big mess! Ugh!" he grunted. I lifted the tbale up and smoothed the cloth back out.
"Im so sorry." I said over and over. I threw away the candles and put the cloth back up.
"Esme?"
"Yes?"
"Get to bed."
"What? Why?"
"Becasue I said so now get to bed!"
I jumped back but did as he commanded. I ran upstairs wiping the tears away and changed into my sleeping gown. He walked in very drunk.
"Charles?"
"Just lay down."
I didnt obey and he hit me across the face, "I said lay down!"
I did as he ordered.
"Now...relax," I did as he commanded. I closed my eyes and took in deep breaths.
Then I opened them and sw his hands balled up.
Then there was another pitch black part...again.
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I woke up with a head ache that killed me. I layed useless in bed and told Charles I couldnt move. He gave in this time and let me rest. I swayed back in forth in my bed with what seemed to be a fever. Leslie came over and fed me while I was sick. I was like a sick dog Charles had said.
"Dear your burning up. You must have a fever so I think you oughtta settle down for awhile.
I had it for another day till I was restored but still had a faint throb.
"Better?" Charles asked.
"Yea...why?"
"Becasue my dear," he got up and walked over to me.
"Iam joining the army."