A/N- I really am sorry for not updating regularly or for ages, I hope that I will get a bit more consistent with my updates and try not to disappoint, I also apologist severely for my grammer, punctuation and any spelling mistakes. Anyway same disclaimer as chapter 1 and I hope to keep writing more soon. AA
Revan's eyes shot open she looked around as she heard the sound of the air ventilation system rattling. She sighed Why do I even keep this rust bucket the Jedi Knight wondered as she looked around the cockpit, she was alone her brothers probably having retired to their actual bunks. She sighed slowly walking towards the refresher she walked inside and stared in the mirror and realised how tired she looked, the war having clearly took it toll on her, she was young but looked at least 10 years older than she actually was.
She wished she could rest but knew there was a greater good she must serve. She ran her fingers over the bags under her eyes, the colour of her skin paler than it should be, and her eyes seemed dull and lifeless, they didn't reflect the strength, the sense of duty, pride in her skills, and passion for the republic. Her eyes almost frightened her as she stared into them almost as if she was being drawn in, what truly terrified her about then was they were hollow, while she had always been complimented for her bright eyes.
They nav computer beeped as she turned walking out the refresher, the ship dropped out of faster than light as she looked over at the ship in the distance rapidly growing larger as the ship got closer still on auto pilot, she transmitted her security code and took over control of the ship heading her for the hanger. Setting the ship down in the large area in the side of the ship she relaxed for the briefest moment before slowly getting up and walking over to the nav computer.
Revan quickly worked on deleting the nav computer data, wiping rekkaid from it's files hoping to forever lose Mandalores mask, hoping that could protect the republic. She looked as the last places she had been, disappeared from history, if only memories, feelings, dreams could be ridden of so easily she thought to herself as she looked at the computer shutting it down, she stepped out the way before calling upon the force, she felt calm for the briefest moment before releasing electric judgement on the computer ensuring the data permenantly lost. The young red head slowly stood up and headed off the shuttle, she was wearing her full armour still including her fabled mask, she could remember when she first adorned it.
She pledged to wear it till the republic was safe, but it was just a lie, she wore it to make herself feel safe, feel like she wasn't a monster who has killed thousands, and ordered even more either to their deaths or to kill other living, breathing sentients. While most people thought of her as invincible, she was far from it, she was just a scared girl, and her mask her teddy to cuddle when she was scared of what she had done. Every death was her fault, everything was her fault but she couldn't dwell on that right now.
She slowly headed for her quarters hoping to get there undisturbed but her hopes weren't realised as two soldiers approached her and saluted and said that the admiral was practically demanding her presence on the bridge. Groaning she thanked the men before heading straight to where the most annoying man in the galaxy waited for her.
Upon entering she regretted it, she could sense his mood and knew she would clash with him at any moment.
Admiral Giotenk was an elderly man, he probably had once been handsome, his hair now greyed with only strands of black, his face showed his age with wrinkles and a couple of scars. While he was a great admiral he was one of the biggest schutta that she had ever met, the young woman glared under her mask only because she knew he couldn't see it, she then in a neutral tone asked "you wanted me Admiral?" It took everything in her not to point out which of them was in charge and so she shouldn't be sent for by random troopers.
"Yes I did, General" the old man said turning to face her, his tone was filled with annoyance, and he clearly was mocking her with how he practically spat out the word 'general.' The aging human walked closer to the far younger woman "I am just curious as to where we are headed, first you have us go to the outer rim just after the conclusion of a galaxy wide war, then you go gallivanting off to who knows where, while you have us head to another location in the outer rim in the middle of no where, then when you finally return you give us no orders at all" he said staring down at the shorter woman. "So would you care to explain where we are going when we are so clearly needed back home to rebuild"
Revan slowly circled around the admiral, before walking to the front of the ship looking out at space, she did not turn at all, the crew on the bridge all facing her, wanting to hear what she had to say. "Admiral, I asked you to do these things for the good of the republic, they might seem pointless but they are far from, you should trust my judgement, as for no further orders I do apologise gentlemen but I was heading my quarters, I was under the assumption it was late at night so most people would be sleeping" she said looking at the stars. The fact she didn't turn to face the admiral annoying him further.
"Listen to me girl, we need to go back to the republic and rebuild return these men to their homes, not go off on some supposed glory mission with no purpose" The aged man said stepping towards her, his tone making it clear he thought he was in control. Revan nodded slowly turning towards him and slowly walked forwards, she looked him over with her eyes, as he stared into the black abyss of her visor. 'Do it, crush him, he is weak, not worthy of you' the voice of the Twi'Lek in her dreams echoed through her mind.
She stepped forward and smiled under her mask the crew unsure who was in charge, but would no doubt follow who ever didn't back down. The red haired Jedi turned to an ensign "prepare a shuttle" The red head ordered the Admiral smirking believing he had won the argument, and this nonsense would now end. "The admiral and any others who feel as he does can leave my ship" the Jedi General added. The admiral went to stop the order but instantly felt something in his head suggesting to go, suggesting to let her go and do what she wanted, to leave and never come back to this fleet. Little did he know it was the Jedi in front of him that was making these suggestions, using the force to give him subtle, advice.
He glared at the general, he was never a friend to her, and made his opinion of her known often. The old admiral stood for a moment debating challenging her only to hear the suggestions again and within another moment turned and strode off the bridge, to leave on the shuttle, sadly that was just for him, alone. The Jedi sighed as she tried to remember a space lane that would take them near where she wanted to go. Dayton walked onto the bridge in his robes and walked up to her she nodded to him knowing that he would get them where she needed to be. She bowed to him before walking quickly off the bridge, then to her quarters which were some walk away.
She rubbed the back of her head as she walked, enjoying the walk back it helping to clear her head. She wave her hand the door to her quarters opening and she headed inside the door shutting behind her. She placed her back on the door and slowly slide down to the floor pulling her legs up so she was in the fetal position. 'What the hell am I doing? Is this really just a glory mission?' She wondered she took her mask off and stated into the black visor "Revan what are we doing? Why did we risk her? We shouldn't of done this, he could of lied, we should have just found Meetra, saved her..." She whispered at the metal armour "I'm losing what little mind I have left if I am asking you, your just a mask, armour, you aren't alive, then again most the galaxy recognise you, so I suppose that does make you almost alive and me nothing but your shadow" The red haired Jedi slowly stood up and walked over to the small desk in her quarters laying the mask down on it face up.
"Why do I need you still? You was meant to just be to guard me from the war, from the people I killed and sent to die, why do I need you?" She asked it as she slowly stripped off all her armour. She threw all of it aside and headed into her sonic shower getting the grime off of her, wishing it was water, if she ever had another ship she would have to make it have a real shower. How she envied people on Alderaan being able to have nice warm showers every day with fresh water. She smiled at just the thought of it, remembering how long ago it was since she last had a real shower.
She sighed as she turned the shower off and headed to get her robes, pulling them on then grabbed a dark brown cloak pulling it over her shoulders and put her arms in it. She sighed she should feel more relaxed in her comfortable robes but actually she felt wrong, exposed defenseless her mask and armour no longer on she was vulnerable. She fought the urge to grab her familiar armour and mask and pull them on instead of her current attire, she was exposed defenseless, weak, accountable. She laid on her bed, her body uncomfortable begging for the familiar protection of her armour, her eyes became heavy even as she tossed and turned in the small beg then she finally after nearly an hour drifted off.
Instantly she was in the by now familiar void. She looked around the darkness that surround her showing it was the emptiness that she had come accustomed to as she had visited the last several times she had attempted sleep. She reached out to try and feel the force only able to feel the slightest glimmer, like she was a child again, before she had been trained in the force. The young woman sighed she continued reaching out but something was stopping her from feeling much.
She turned around seeing a Twi'lek standing in front of her, he wore black robes and cloak, she sighed "good to see you again" she said smirking, he growled and back handed her knocking her a few feet and to the ground "where are you going? What are you planning?" He demanded to know walking towards her. She wiped her mouth and slowly stood up looking up at him, his height apparent as he looked right down at her he was nine inches taller than her and far more muscular making her acrobatic for seem tiny.
She smirked "you tell me, don't you normally know it all" she spat at him and he punched her across the face knocking her to the ground, he growled, anger clear from his expression and body language, again he growled walking over to her and lifted her up to his level by her hair she grabbed at his hand trying to free herself from his painful grip. He smirked "now talk" he ordered.
She winced before speaking "I don't plan anything yet I'm going with the tide" she said, she felt a smack to the side of her temple and her head rang in pain as he held her up she cried out wishing he would stop but wouldn't dare to say it. Slowly she felt the pain fading as the dark changed to light, and she heard a banging a fist on metal. She blinked and was facing her roof the pounding on the door ringing in her quarters she waved her hand and the door opened revealing Dayton, he rushed in and looked her over, she had tears in her eyes and instantly clung to him as she sobbed. He didn't say anything as he gently rubbed her back while the young Jedi let out some of the pain and sorrow out that had built up. Slowly her sobs stopped and she pulled back wiping her eyes, she sighed "thank you Dayton" she let the words out so quietly so it sounded barely more than breathing out.
He nodded and slowly stood looking at her, his eyes scanning her before smiling weakly then turning to leave knowing she wouldn't tell him what was wrong. He sighed saying bye, she knew of she needed him then she could come to him. When he left the female Jedi slowly got up walking over to her mirror and looked herself in the face. "Who am I? Who is Revan?" She asked looking at herself then lifting the mask to her face and running her fingers over its reflection then lowered it as ran her fingers over the reflection of her face. "Which is the real me?" She wondered as she stared at the reflection of her face, the mask being held beside it, as she wondered which was the real her.
Revan sighed as she pulled the mask on and headed out her quarters just walking the corridors, she sighed then passed a Twi'lek in the corridor, he was massive and instantly she recognised him, she turned and started to follow him her hand resting on her lightsabers hilt, she started gaining on him but he turned a corner suddenly, and by the time she rounded it, he was gone. She wanted to scream in frustration at having lost the Twilek, but contained herself quickly reciting There is no emotion, there is peace in her mind. She quickly reached out with the force to find sign of anyone nearby but found no one, no sentients or pests just the soft hum of the ships inner workings.