Chapter Title: Month Two

When it was the second month of Michelangelo being pregnant, he started skipping practice and nightly patrol; he was always just too tired and sick to do it.

One particular morning, when he was feeling well enough to go annoy someone, he decided to prove to his brothers that he was indeed, pregnant.

"Donatello, Raphael, Leonardo, I have brought you here today to speak to you about something super important." Said Mikey.

"Can't this wait?" asked Don, annoyed.

"No," said Mikey. "This is super important."

"More important than ninjitsu?" asked Leo.

"Yes," said Mikey.

"More important than my experiment that'll explode in ten minutes if I don't get back to it?" asked Don.

"Yep," said Mikey.

"More important than- Aw darn it, you guys took all the important stuff." Complained Raph.

"Can we just get to the point here?" asked Don, tapping his foot impatiently.

"Over the past few days, I've been doing a bit research on pregnancy." Said Mikey.

"Why?" asked Raph.

"And I've concluded something. I'm pregnant." Said Mikey, ignoring Raph.

"How many times does Donatello have to tell you that men don't get pregnant?" asked Leo.

"I have all the symptoms," Mikey was ignoring Leo and Raph still. "I've been having heartburn, gas and bloating, constipation, frequent thirst, mouthwatering, frequent urination, itching, fatigue, and nausea. Those are all of the symptoms of a pregnant woman when they're in month two."

"How did you get all this information?" asked Don.

"Well, I was using our old computer and I found this awesome website called, well, I don't remember what it's called, but it tells you-" he was rudely cut off by Raphael.

"I still refuse to believe you're pregnant," he said, crossing his arms.

"I'd have to agree with Raphael on that one," said Leo, crossing his arms and trying to look as cool as Raphael when he did it, but miserably failed. Don was about to say something, but as if on cue, his experiment blew up.

"Why me?" asked Donny, looking into the ceiling. "Why do all the bad things always happen to me?"

"Because all the bad things always happen to the smart, quiet one," offered Michelangelo.

"Donny ain't neither of those," Raph whispered to Leo.

"I heard that," said Donny as he cleaned up the mess he had made. Mikey decided to go to the one man who might (a 99.999% chance of it) believe him.

Splinter.

Mikey knocked on Splinter's door softly. When Splinter didn't say, "Come in," Mikey invited himself into Splinter's room. He looked around until he saw Splinter.

"Master Splinter," Mikey said softly. When he didn't respond, Mikey said it a bit louder. When Splinter still didn't respond, Mikey got bored and decided to wait until Sensei was out of his trance so he could talk to him. Mikey walked up to some expensive looking Japanese thing and picked it up.

"Drop it!" Splinter's harsh words made Michelangelo do exactly what he was told; he dropped the Japanese thing and made it shatter to pieces.

"Dude, I didn't even know it was made out of glass," said Mikey.

"My son, you may look around if you wish," Splinter said. "But never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, ever, never, never, never, ever, never, never, ever, never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, never, never, never, never, never, never, in your life, touch my belongings unless it is 100% necessary. And by necessary, I mean, a matter of life and death."

"But Sensei, it was a matter of life and death! I was about to die of boredom!" Mikey tried to defend himself.

"You had only been waiting for twenty seconds, Michelangelo." Said Splinter.

"Can I talk to you about something?" asked Mikey.

"Yes. But first you must bow to me, because I am your Sensei and all Sensei's make their students bow to them." Splinter said. "And as the wise, ancient Japanese warrior What's-His-Face said, um, he said, um…" Splinter saw Mikey looking at him, smirking. "It is not my fault that I am old and forgetful, Michelangelo." When Mikey started laughing, Splinter got mad. "Get out of my room. You have done nothing but hurt my feelings and break my favorite ancient Japanese thing that I cannot remember the name of. I do not wish to talk to you any more today, Michelangelo. Good-bye, see you later, LOL."

"Did you just say see you later, LOL?" asked Mikey, his eyes wide as he turned around.

"Yes, I heard it on television. Is there something wrong with me saying that?" Splinter asked.

"Um, there kinda is." Mikey said. "It's just a bit scary to hear an old person to say that."

"What about LMFAO or ROFLMFAO?" asked Splinter, getting out a fake golden necklace he found for twenty five cents and putting it on his neck.

"Dude, are you trying to be cool?" asked Mikey.

"I am super cool," said Splinter, going on the floor and doing the Worm.

"You're scaring me, stop that!" Mikey said.

"Stop what?" asked Splinter as he got off the floor, brushed himself off, and smiled, revealing golden teeth in his mouth.

"Dude, I don't even wanna know how you got those." Said Mikey.

"Yo, yo, yo, whassup! I am so cool!" said Splinter as he started trying to act as a D.J.

An hour later, Michelangelo's brothers found Mikey sitting in a corner, rocking back and forth, telling himself that everything was going to be okay.

"What's wrong Mikey?" asked Leo.
"I…I went to s-see M-Master Spl-Splinter and he sca-ared me." Said Mikey, still rocking back and forth.

"Darn it, I forgot to tell you." Said Don.

"Tell m-me what?" asked Mikey, sniffling.

"That Master Splinter has a very strange disease. He keeps on thinking he's either a teenager, a D.J., or remembers who he is, but he keeps on forgetting simple things. Everyone should stay away from him until he's completely cured, otherwise you'll end up like Mikey here.

"Donny, can you carry me back to my room? My feet are killing me right now, I just want to take a little nap." Said Mikey.

"But we're having our nightly patrol that we go on for no reason in a couple of hours," said Don.

"Hey, we save people's lives!" said Leo. "And Mikey, you haven't been on patrol with us ever since that Bishop incident. C'mon, your feet can't hurt that bad, can they?"

"Raphie, can you carry me to my room? I'm not in the mood for patrol right now, I don't feel like it." Said Mikey.

"Sure bro," said Raph as he hoisted Mikey up onto his shell and started carrying his brothers upstairs while Donny and Leo bickered.

This chapter is horrible, I know it. Please forgive me. Don't forget to read and review!