Lauren sat next to Bo realizing that something was indeed going on between Bo and Tamsin. She had seen the way Bo looked at Tamsin for help when Lauren had asked her if she was okay. When she had realized Bo and Tamsin were gone from the clinic she had panicked a bit. Her first thought was that the two of them had run off together, because that was one of the worst fears that Lauren had. She couldn't lose Bo, not after she had fought to be with her. After she had come to her senses, she began to wonder if maybe Bo had tricked Tamsin into leaving the room so she could make a run for it. She had seen how scared Bo had been when she had put the syringe full of "Feed" in her IV. Then when Bo had confessed to Lauren that she had stopped feeding because she hadn't wanted to disappoint Lauren, it had nearly broken Lauren's heart in two. The last thing she had wanted Bo to do was stop feeding. She felt awful thinking about how she had more than likely caused Bo's eating disorder. She wouldn't blame Bo if she chose Tamsin over her now.
Tamsin was starting to feel very anxious as she sat next to Bo. She didn't want to take Bo from Lauren, but she couldn't hide the feelings she had for Bo anymore. She wanted to be with her so bad her heart ached. Maybe Bo just needed a break from Lauren for awhile, since it appeared that Lauren might have been the cause of Bo's eating disorder. Tamsin felt bad even thinking that though. Lauren had been there for Bo through so much. She had asked her to only feed off of her because she loved her so much. And she had said that she wasn't upset with Bo for feeding off of Tamsin, now that she had developed an eating disorder. As much as it hurt Tamsin to think about it, she realized that maybe it was best if she backed off and let Bo and Lauren be together. But what then of the promise that Tamsin had made to Bo about being there for her until she was better? About fighting this eating disorder for Bo if she had to?
Bo was scared. She was scared that if she chose one of the women over the other, that the other would be angry with her and she couldn't handle either of them being angry with her. But if she chose no one she would be alone. Maybe she deserved to be alone. She was still imperfect after all. Maybe she just needed to refuse to feed off of anyone. That would make them both happy, right? But no, wait, hadn't they just tried everything they could to get her to feed? Bo was so confused. She didn't want to be the one to make this choice. She wished that it could just be made for her.
Lauren was the first one to speak after all three of them had been silent for some time.
"Okay, it appears that Bo has a choice to make here. I can tell that the two of you have feelings for each other. Its become quite obvious."
Bo looked down at the floor, ashamed to realize that Lauren knew that she loved Tamsin as well.
"I know that you are dealing with a lot right now, Bo, and that you probably feel pretty guilty about who your suppose to choose, but unfortunately, this is one of those decisions that you have to make for yourself. We can't make it for you," Lauren said.
Bo got up and began to pace. She really didn't want all of this to fall on her. How was she suppose to make this decision when she was struggling to keep from running out of the room and leaving for good.
"I can't do this! This is too much! How can both of you want me so much? Do you not see how imperfect I am? I don't deserve either of you! I'm too fat, too ugly. I'm not good enough for either of you yet," Bo said.
"How can you say that about yourself, Bo? You are the most beautiful person i've ever met!" Tamsin said.
"Tamsin's right Bo, you are absolutely stunning. I wouldn't want anyone else but you," Lauren said.
"Okay, but even if you both think that, how am I suppose to choose? How do I choose between two people who I love so much?" Bo said, tears streaming down her face.
Bo was quiet for a moment as she let the tears fall from her face. Finally she spoke, "I think I've made my decision."
Lauren and Tamsin braced themselves, realizing that one of them was going to be let down. One of them was going to have to leave without Bo.
"I choose...both of you."
"What!?" Tamsin and Lauren said, in unison.
"I know, I know, this probably sounds crazy, but the truth is, I love both of you and I can't imagine my life without either of you. I know that this complicates things. I realize that, but if I can't have both of you I don't want either of you," Bo said.
Tamsin and Lauren realized Bo was serious.
"I know that I need help. And I'm willing to try to get better but i'm going to need both of you for that, however that works," Bo said.
"Okay, well, if this is what you want, Bo, then I think we need to get you back to my clinic. I'd like you to let me put an IV back in you and stay at my clinic so I can monitor you for awhile," Lauren said, trying to think practically after the shock of what Bo had just said.
"Lauren, I know your trying to help, but I can't go back to your clinic. If your going to help me, I want it to be here. And we have a lot to talk about," Bo said.
"Bo, I love you very much, but I think it might be best if I go back to my clinic for the night and Tamsin stays here with you. I'm not upset with you, but i'm not sure I can do all of this right now," Lauren said. She really didn't want to accept the fact that Bo wanted Tamsin as well. She loved Bo but sharing her was going to be hard. Maybe it was better if she just backed off for now, seeing as how she was the one who had likely caused Bo's eating disorder.
"Lauren, please don't go! I don't want you to be upset with me! I love you I do!" Bo said, scared that she was losing Lauren. She couldn't lose Lauren. She meant too much to her.
"Bo, its okay, really. I am not leaving you, okay? We are still together. I just need some time to think. I promise you, I will be back soon, okay?" Lauren said, coming over to Bo and taking her hands.
"Okay," Bo said, hoping that Lauren was telling the truth.
Bo walked Lauren to the door, then went back to the couch. She curled up in a ball, not believing that she might be losing Lauren.
"Bo, i'm really sorry. I shouldn't have gotten between you and Lauren," Tamsin said, feeling incredibly guilty. Maybe she should leave too.
"I can leave it you want me to," Tamsin said.
"No, please, don't go! I want you here. I need you, Tamsin," Bo said.
Tamsin couldn't resist the pleading look in Bo's eyes. She went to Bo and held her once again.
"Are you sure this is what you want, Bo?"
"Yes, i'm positive," Bo said, smiling up at Tamsin.
After they had held each other for awhile, Tamsin realized it was getting pretty late and that Bo must be exhausted.
"We should get you to bed, Bo, you've had a long day. Do you want me to carry you upstairs?" Tamsin asked.
"Yes, please, i'm so incredibly tired," Bo said. Tamsin smiled as she picked Bo up in her arms and carried her upstairs.
Tamsin helped Bo get undressed for bed. She takes off Bo's shirt and finds it incredibly hard to suppress a gasp. She's never seen Bo naked before but guesses that she wasn't as thin as she looked now, a few months ago. Her ribs are jutting out and her stomach looks hollowed out. Tamsin touches Bo lightly, running her finger along her ribs, feeling how little fat she has on her.
"Tamsin, what are you doing?" Bo says, suddenly feeling very self-conscious as she can only think about how fat and unattractive Tamsin must think she is.
"Sorry, I just can't believe how..."
"How fat I am?" Bo interrupts, looking at the floor.
Tamsin raises Bo's chin with her fingers.
"Bo, look at me," Tamsin says, forcing Bo to look her in the eyes, "You are not the least bit fat. I know that its hard for you to see that, but I think you are the most beautiful person i've ever laid eyes on. And i'm not just saying that."
"You really think so?" Bo says, wanting to believe Tamsin.
"Without a doubt, my sweet girl," Tamsin says.
Tamsin helps Bo undress the rest of the way and then undresses herself. Bo gets into bed and lays on her side, patting the bed next to her to let Tamsin know she wants her to lay with her. Tamsin gets into bed as well, wrapping her arms around Bo. Bo feels incredibly safe once again in Tamsin's arms. Overcome by exhaustion, they both fell asleep within minutes.