Author's Note: Each chapter is following exactly on the last, so you might have to go back and read the last line of the previous chapter if this doesn't make sense. Or not. You do you.

Thanks: There have been a lot of people following the exploits of this lot, so thank you for hitting that "follow" button! Special thanks go to Mallon Schwarz (glad you took the time to catch up, and we finally get to the part you've been waiting for), Moon Bunny (even all grown up, Endymion will always be my favorite prince), SailorMoon489 (the girls had a fun time, and don't worry, Usagi will be rejoining the party), The Rising Phoenix (cliff-hangers are fun to do to people, and yeah, Mako and Ami are glad they sat this one out), James Birdsong (glad you like it), and angeljme (Minako seemed like the perfect drunk to tell this story).

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon, Texts From Last Night, or Texts From Crystal Tokyo. I am making no profit from this story, except hopefully a few laughs.

"Bam?" the others asked.

"Usagi sticks her arm out and basically clotheslines the guy," Minako explained with a grin.

The stunned silence and gaping had become universal.

"Of course, she immediately helps him up and starts apologizing, and because she's Usagi I think he might actually have been okay with it and let it go, but then Keiko's boyfriend, what is his name, has to yell, 'You got knocked out by a woman!' He isn't actually knocked out, but…yeah. It was like throwing gas on a fire, and he actually kind of smelled like smoke."

"I thought he said, 'You got knocked out by a human,'" Rei said. "It didn't sound like that to you?"

"Why would he say human? Obviously, she's human."

"Guys," Setsuna groaned, "focus on the felony part of the story, please."

"Whatever the other guy said, Usagi sees little guy getting mad again and so she tries to talk to him. That, by the way, is when we realize those ice cream drinks have booze in them, 'cause she is trying to give little guy a hug. He does not want a hug so now Usagi's mad and she starts yelling at him while still trying to hug him. I'm trying to get her off him while Rei and Haruka are both shouting insults at him. Luckily, I see foxy coming our way. He grabs little guy and drags him away and shoves him into a car, probably to try and cool him off. We turn to go, again. As we start to walk by the rest of the party I see Usagi's new friend standing with some pink haired girl, watching, and next to them is the cause of the trouble."

"The cause of the trouble's sister," Rei argued. "It's not her fault he has anger issues."

"Rei's girlfriend," Minako clarified. Rei did not correct her. "Which, of course, is why Rei reaches into her pocket, pulls out a piece of paper with a number on it, and hands it to this girl saying, 'Text me sometime.' Because that could only go well."

"She's gorgeous! It was worth the fight!"

"We did most the fighting while you were trying to suck her tongue out of her head!"

"Because she's gorgeous!"

For a moment Minako and Rei glared at each other, then Minako shrugged.

"Yeah, she kind of is. But you still could have timed that better. You know, when her overprotective brother wasn't in a car."

"And there's the windshield in question, I take it?" Setsuna asked.

"Yep. Rei hands her this paper with a smile that was almost like another kiss and we hear an engine. Of course, Haruka knows that sound and turns around with this great big grin, ready for round three. The car isn't even actually moving towards us, just rocking back and forth while the engine is revving, but it could start at any minute, right? Then I hear someone say 'Tsukino-san!' I look over and I see the pink haired girl, who is holding an honest to gods sword. Why did she have a sword? Didn't think to ask right then. She throws it to Usagi, and Mamoru the way she caught it would have made you so proud, and maybe a little hot. Usagi switches her grip, lines up her aim, and throws the sword straight through the windshield of the car."

"Usagi did this?" Ami interrupted. "She threw a sword at someone?"

"Um," Minako and Rei tempered together.

Makoto gasped. "She didn't actually hit one of them, did she?"

"No, no, no," Minako insisted as Rei shook her head. "Her aim was perfect and hit right in the center of the windshield, directly between little guy and foxy so it never got near either of them. She really just threw the sword at the car. Shattered the windshield pretty good, though."
Once more, Michiru let her face fall into her hands. "So, what happened after that?"

"Keiko's boyfriend freaks out and runs over to the car. I think he's worried about his friends but no, it's the car. Keiko's yelling at him, he's yelling at the guys in the car, and everyone else is cheering. Actually cheering. Usagi takes a frickin' bow and almost falls over. Still, before they have a chance to get out of the car we know it's time to go. So Usagi grabs Rei and I grab Haruka and we get the hell out of there," Minako explained.

Rei leaned back in her chair with a smirk of victory. "So, no one was injured, much, I gave my number to a beautiful girl, and that is a party everyone will remember for a long time."

After a long pause where the sober members of the group exchanged uncertain glances, Ami finally asked, "Would this have made more sense if we had been here from the beginning?"

"It really would not," Michiru groaned.

"I have a question," announced Makoto. Her phone was cradled in her hand, the screen aglow with electricity. Letters were just barely visible to the others. "What happened after you left the party? Did you just walk it off? Get some coffee?"

"Not much happened," Minako said with a shrug. "We went into this dance club, the music was bad so Haruka threw Usagi over her shoulder and we left, we had some food at a café that was still open, found a playground, and then we came home."

"Why did you wait for morning to come back?" Michiru asked.

"We wanted to sober up so you wouldn't know how much we drank."

"Then why did you just tell us a story that centers on how much you drank last night?" Setsuna demanded, and Michiru was strangely pleased to see that her friend had finally reached her own level of frustration.

Minako shrugged. "You asked about the sword."

"And that is the proper logic of one still drunk," Makoto pointed out. "So roughly what time did you guys leave that party?"

"A little after 2 a.m., I think," Rei said. "Why?"

"Well, I'm just curious why, after you guys left the party and had apparently no intention of going back, I got this message."