Symbol of Piece

He thought about talking to All Might … Or Toshinori Yagi, now. Half the world still called him All Might, though, and it felt wrong calling him anything else. Not only out of respect, but because Endeavor had always only had a professional relationship with the man. Sure, a rather emotional relationship, with all the rivalry and aversion Endeavor had felt for the man – still a professional one. He only knew All Might, had no clue about the man in the costume, really. The very fact that Enji never knew All Might's … true form, he assumed he had to call it … attested to the fact that they basically didn't know each other out of their costumes. Calling him anything but All Might seemed awfully close and personal. And even if that frail man he had turned into didn't look much like the old All Might, Endeavor would probably never call that man by any other name. All Might on his part, though, that annoyingly familiar buffoon had always been too close and personal. When they met outside of battle, All Might had always called him Todoroki, as if they were acquainted.

Most of the people still called him All Might, but Enji assumed that was to some degree due to the fact that they didn't know his real name. It wasn't like the name Toshinori Yagi was a well-kept secret by any means. But – however, he had done it – All Might had kept his private civilian life mostly out of the news. Maybe that was the price to pay if you wanted to be regarded as a symbol rather than just another hero. Honestly, recently Endeavor thought it might have also had to do with that scrawny form of his. Now, it seemed like the fact that he was apparently dying only made him more sympathetic with the public but of course the revelation could have also had worse consequences. Who knew …? Maybe he was ashamed of this weak body.

He wanted to talk to All Might precisely to discuss this elusive Symbol he had built up over the years. Elusive, because Endeavor for the last months had tried to grasp it, understand it, resurrect it or replace it without success. He hoped the former Number One could help him.

All Might was avoiding him, though. Or maybe not Endeavor specifically but just people in general. The former Number One was at his school avoiding anything that was not connected to his teacher job. Endeavor couldn't exactly blame him, since Enji too avoided just about any contact to the outside world, that was not directly related to his job. Most of all he avoided those nosy people from the media. Still, All Might – or whoever kept All Might's schedule these days – should understand, that Endeavor wasn't contacting him for an interview. So, maybe he was avoiding Endeavor. And Endeavor himself was a bit too proud to run to UA to beg for advice.

He'd just wait for an opportunity when the two would meet coincidentally. That moment would happen eventually. It surely helped that Shoto was All Might's student now. Just a matter of time.

Shoto had failed the provisional license exam. It was a bit of a shock, Endeavor had to admit, but he was surprisingly okay with it. Apparently, the boy had some sort of chock fight with another kid in the middle of an improvised rescue mission. Unprofessional. Though, not getting along with his colleagues and engaging in a battle of strength with them … Enji could understand the sentiment better than most, he gathered. Endeavor had just learned not to have these kinds of confrontations at the job.

So of course, Shoto had not passed, neither had the boy from Shiketsu, or as Endeavor found out later the explosion-brat. The rest of Shoto's class had apparently made it, however, so at least that spoke for UA's upheld standards.

Shoto thus had to go through extra training to get his license and Endeavor realized with a quick glance over his schedule that he actually could make time for it. He hadn't seen Shoto in a while and the boy had always liked avoiding him, so that hadn't particularly helped Endeavor in his plans to reconnect to Shoto. He hadn't visited the actual exam, but … he gathered, since the extra training would last three months, Endeavor could watch at least once or twice without Shoto throwing a hissy fit over his presence. Surely, he wouldn't be the only one watching either.

Thus, he made some space in his time table, changed and shifted some of the set-up dates and patrols and wrote Shoto the day before he planned to visit.

"Shoto! Good News. I was able to find some time off. I'll be at your training tomorrow watching."

His son didn't answer. Well, no matter as long as he had read the text. And Enji was pretty sure he had. However their relationship, Shoto didn't categorically ignore him. After all, it might happen that Enji had something important to say.

The next day, there was still no answer, and Enji didn't really expect one before he made his way over to the training grounds. He was early and waited above the stands until the others would arrive. He was almost annoyed that they started so late. It was already 8 am and people were only slowly coming in. School … He almost missed the times when he could sleep until sunrise. His normal workday nowadays started at six in the morning … five now, that he was doing extra work to hold this new surge of villainy in check.

He was about to check his clock and muse that he could have just done a bit of work before coming here and wouldn't have missed much, when he heard that annoyingly loud showman downstairs. How Shoto and the entire staff of UA managed to work with the man without their ear drums popping was a mystery to him, but at least thanks to Present Mic he knew that the UA group had arrived. He turned away from the stands and the arena and down the stairs in an attempt to catch Shoto before the training started, but apparently the students and their teachers had already parted ways, because when he came down the staircase neither Shoto nor the explosion-brat where anywhere to be seen.

"Well well … if it isn't the former Number One hero?"

Endeavor drawled as he recognized scrawny All Might next to the loud-mouth.

At least All Might was here. Convenient, he thought. That way he could not only see his son but also get these nagging questions out of the way that gave him sleepless nights recently.

"My thanks for looking after Shoto."

"Endeavor!" All Might looked somewhere between shocked and exasperated to see him. From the look he gave him, it almost seemed like he had indeed tried to avoid Endeavor.

Endeavor was inexplicably angry. He was always angry when he saw that man. The mere fact that All Might was now smaller, lighter and weaker than Endeavor didn't really change the fact that this was the man he had despaired to reach for so long. He had always hated the man and that didn't change so easily. Did he honestly still feel inferior to this scrawny little twig that he could break easily without even using his quirk? Ridiculous … he shoved the thought aside.

"Good timing …" complimented Endeavor in an angry drawl. "I wanted to have a proper chat with you."

There was an awkward pause. Loud-mouth was apparently getting a bit nervous with the tension in the air, because he suddenly loudly proclaimed something about getting coffee, before he suddenly seemed to realize that he had no idea where the coffee machine was.

"We can talk in a moment" agreed All Might finally, so Endeavor stepped aside to let the two teachers pass. He followed after them back to the stands.

Present Mic and All Might talked about where to sit for a while, apparently disagreeing and Endeavor felt his assumption that All Might didn't feel particularly confident in this weak body of his confirmed. All Might didn't want to stand out. That was such an un-All Might-y thing to do, that Endeavor felt angry all over again for how little of All Might this man had in himself. All Might might say he didn't want to distract … but when had All Might ever not wanted to distract? The man had always enjoyed the limelight, Endeavor thought, basically lived in it for as long as Endeavor could remember, sometimes to a degree that he outshone other heroes so much they weren't even seen.

At least he had done that to Endeavor. Endeavor might've been the Number Two, but whenever he and All Might met he could have as well been just any hero. All Might had always been ready to stand out, give an interview, give an autograph or stand for a picture, throw around reassuring, bloomy or sometimes even just awfully mushy and sappy phrases. He'd been the man smiling so bright he'd been famous for it. He'd been the hero to accompany his grand entrances with the proclamation that everything was good now, because he was there. Ridiculous! When had this man ever not been or tried to be distracting? He had turned himself into a giant symbol and the bane of Endeavor's existence and now scrawny as he was he suddenly didn't want to distract anymore … no way would Endeavor believe that this had nothing to do with feeling embarrassed.

Enji looked down to the arena where he could see the students now. He hadn't seen them before. When he had left the stands earlier they weren't there yet. And there was …

"SHOTO!" He screamed and just barely stopped himself from waving. "You shouldn't be stumbling around a place like this! You're better than that!" All Might stared at him as if he were crazy, but Enji didn't really care. He was primarily here to watch Shoto, after all. Cheer the kid on a bit! "Now get out there and show them that you're in a class of your own!"

His son didn't even look up, rather he seemed to pointedly look away almost as if he were embarrassed. Endeavor crossed his arms over his chest, when he realized that while Shoto pointedly looked away everybody else stared at him.

"Ah … No way!" He heard the other students mumble among themselves. "It's Endeavor."

"The Number Two …" started somebody before catching themselves, "uh, I mean Number One hero …!" Endeavor found the mistake didn't really make him angry anymore. Not really at least, though it was a bit annoying.

"You serious? What's he doing here?" They seemed a bit intimidated as they looked up to where he stood at the top of the stands, then there was a sudden shift in the mood. Suddenly the noise erupted.

"See?" He heard All Might mumble annoyed. "Here we go …"

"It's All Might! Why is he here!?" they cheered and even waved at scrawny All Might, who looked a bit uncomfortable. Endeavor just frowned at that behavior. He should just be himself, damn it. Smile and wave and do all the crappy stuff he normally did to get the people to like him so much in the first place.

Shoto wasn't cheering, Enji realized. He knew that Shoto was an All Might fan. Had always been, even before Endeavor had started training him. Little Shoto had wanted to become a hero like All Might. Enji had always known, though Shoto had never actually told him, probably because he feared his reaction. Not without reason … Back then, the realization that his youngest son was just another All Might-Fanboy had been a bit shocking, had made him a bit angrier. He hadn't really said anything against it though, ever, because in a way turning Shoto into a hero like All Might – better than All Might even – had been Endeavor's goal from the start.

While the people down in the Arena explained the training for the day, Endeavor followed All Might and Present Mic to a group of seats somewhere in the center of the stands. Endeavor sat a bit away from the other two leaving a seat between them, because he really did not appreciate being close to people. It made him claustrophobic … or something. He'd much rather prefer standing by himself than sitting in a crowd. He still wanted to talk to All Might, but he didn't exactly want to talk in front of Present Mic. If they couldn't get a minute of privacy he'd actually consider meeting All Might some other time rather than talk here among witnesses. That would be a waste of time, though, so he really hoped the showman would make himself scarce, soon.

They sat opposite a different group of onlookers from Shiketsu, he assumed, but other than them the stands were mostly empty. He had somewhat expected more people to come and watch or cheer for their friends and family.

Down in the arena Gang Orca appeared, doing … well, his thing. Orca had always had a thing for acting like an asshole. Unlike with Endeavor – Enji had at least that much self-reflection – it was just an act for Orca. The man was a softy if Endeavor had ever seen one. Well, not quite as bad as All Might who loved coddling everybody around him, and he certainly didn't look like it, but the first time Endeavor had worked with him he had almost been disappointed. There Endeavor had been, thinking he'd finally found a likeminded hero, who had a bit of a temper, just said what he thought, did what he wanted and didn't care much about public opinion. Well, now he knew better.

The kids didn't know that, yet, though. So maybe Orca's insults still got to them. Or … well they didn't look offended, if Endeavor was honest. Explosion-brat … was maybe a bit angry, yeah. But Shoto smart-mouthed at Orca and Endeavor had almost thought it funny. Also, were did the kid get those wits from? It was certainly not how Endeavor would have reacted who even now felt a bit angry at Orca insulting his son. "How could feces like you ever save people?"

"Well, I could indirectly as fertilizer …" was Shoto's answer. Witty, but it wasn't like Orca actually wanted to hear a response.

In the end Shoto, Explosion-brat and the two from Shiketsu were put on a special assignment … project. Orca made it seem like there was a big battle to come but Endeavor already feared that this was not it. He knew the requirements for a provisional license after all and at least of Shoto and his classmate he was sure that they didn't lack battle prowess.

He should really go home, he mused. He had no interest in watching his son … babysit children? Okay, that was a bit surprising even for Endeavor. It made sense, he assumed, it was also an annoying task if ever he had seen one. He was mostly looking out for Shoto, but the explosive classmate seemed more along Endeavor's line of thinking.

Truth be told, as Endeavor watched the four students struggle with a class of noisy brats, Endeavor, too didn't really know what he would do in the situation. Saving kids? Sure, any day of the week. Easy thing. He might not be the most considerate but even he was able to say a few reassuring words if needed, and if the kids were just bratty, he was strong enough to just save them and carry them to safety against their kicks and screams. Most kids, when they actually were in need of being saved, were rather happy if not utterly stunned and in awe to see a hero safe them. Any hero, really. And he was the Number Two and widely known, that helped. Often, they were afraid or a bit out of it, but he could deal with that, too. Of course, there were the odd kids who thought themselves better than the heroes coming to save them – especially now, it seemed – but even they were easily carried to safety.

Saving kids, he could do. Entertaining them, teaching them … well, he was a hero, not a teacher. He knew that nowadays it was widely regarded as a hero's job to also provide guidance not just in matters of safety but in pretty much all matters of life. He was also well-aware of the inspiring affect many heroes could have on the people, especially kids. But … one might call Endeavor old-school, but he still thought a hero's job was mainly fighting villains, protecting and rescuing civilians and teach and train the up and coming heroes. If his actions as a hero inspired people, all the better, but he was no teacher. His daughter, Fuyumi was a teacher. He knew her job required a different skill-set than his.

He knew for a fact that he couldn't teach or guide these children. He had, after all, screwed up bad enough with his own.

Endeavor watched Shoto and the other three try and fail to get the kids to listen to them, when suddenly the flame hero was distracted by Present Mic's obnoxious voice.

"My M.C. Soul! It's reaching its limit!" cried the Hero and Endeavor thought for a moment his eardrums were popping. How did All Might take it, sitting next to the screaming teacher? Endeavor even had trouble understanding what Present Mic was talking about, when suddenly Mic stood up and hurried away, apparently to try and get some … Soul into this event?

Endeavor was almost glad to be rid of the guy, though shortly afterwards his loud commentary echoed through the entire arena. That was almost worse.

"I guess he's looking out for them in his own way" said All Might.

Endeavor wasn't sure whether he was talking to him, so he just 'humpfed' in annoyed agreement.

"So? What did you want to talk about?" said All Might finally to him. "To be perfectly honest, I don't know what to say to you in my current state …"

So, was it true? Had he been avoiding Endeavor? Was he embarrassed, or what was it?

Endeavor watched the children for another moment, sorting his thoughts. He was surprisingly not angry. Annoyed maybe at the noisy commentary, but not angry. He felt tired. He didn't enjoy asking for advice … from All Might of all people. Like he lost to him all over again.

And while any other day the thought of 'losing to All Might again' would have ignited his rage, now it just made him more exhausted.

"Are you aware …" started the current Number One hero after a pause, watching Shoto but not really acknowledging what was happening down on the training grounds, "over the past month, the crime rate has risen by three percent compared to the average year." It felt like admitting defeat when he said it. Endeavor suppressed a sigh. Enji was not one to sigh, never had been. He was a man of action … but there was nothing he could do at the moment. Nothing to change the facts. "I …" he hesitated a moment, "throughout my career I have resolved more incidents than anyone else … and recently more so than ever. And yet …" He was gripping his arm hard, felt his fingers digging into his flesh. "I can hear it. I can hear the sound of that invisible … "something" you built up over the years crumbling away."

He felt All Might's eyes on him, but he didn't look back at the former Number One. He was still watching the kids down on the field, not really seeing them at all. That Symbol of Peace … He still didn't know … He had to know, though, to do this job properly, this job he had always wanted to fulfill, he had worked so hard to achieve even if it had eventually fallen to him as no achievement of his own.

"Tell me, former Number One Hero: Just what is the Symbol of Peace?"

He had hoped for a straight answer – any answer, to be honest. But All Might remained quiet and in deep thought, while Endeavor watched that Bakugo-kid and the brat from Shiketsu try and fail to get the attention and respect of the children. While All Might remained quiet, Endeavor suddenly found himself rambling, saying all the things he had never told or admitted to anybody. He hadn't come here to spill out his heart or tell this man his life story, now however he couldn't stop.

"I've entrusted everything to Shoto. When I was twenty years old, I had already climbed my way up to the number two spot." He didn't even know if All Might was listening, yet he couldn't stop, like he needed this man to know and understand. Endeavor didn't remember ever rambling like this … ever even just talking that much to anybody. He was not a social person. "And because I climbed that far … I understood it almost immediately:" He remembered the feeling of despair as he saw All Might's true might. Remembered the frustration and desperation, what it had led him to do. He remembered the struggle to keep going, to try harder knowing it would be futile. This endless endeavor. "That I would never be able to reach the summit."

He laughed somewhat flippantly as if trying to play over his own insecurities, as if trying to hide the admittance of his despair behind hollow laughter. "If all I wanted was the title, I could have foolishly smiled to everyone like you, and just played the crowd-pleaser." He bet, some of the people would want just that. When the media came swarming his house after getting the Number One position asking for statements, he could bet half of them were out to hear some dishonest comment about how happy he was to achieve the position, how he would try his best, smiling into the camera like an idiot. The other half of the journalists and paparazzi, he was sure, had been out to get a juicy scandal or something. Media people worked like that. He gritted his teeth. "But I wanted to be stronger than anyone else." He had often been laughed at for this goal of his. Mocked not in his face but behind his back. He could still hear the mumbled ridicules. How futile his struggle was, how he would never manage it, how it would be smarter to just give up and live with what he had. He wondered if it was wrong of him to pursue this goal, to struggle to get stronger, to uphold a rivalry that nobody but him ever even acknowledged existed in the first place. Because what was a rivalry if one of the parties was never strong enough to even rival the other.

He didn't know what else to say, to explain himself and why he was here now. He was just waiting for the answer that refused to come.

"This isn't like you at all" said All Might after another moment.

"Just shut up and answer me!" bellowed Endeavor enraged … embarrassed. He of all people being caught rambling. To All Might. That really wasn't like him at all.

All Might needed another moment to think, then he started to explain, tried and failed to explain really. He chose his words carefully. "To be honest" started the blond, "I have no idea what to say." Very helpful … "I simply believed that this country was in need of a symbol, and I ran at full speed chasing my goal." Endeavor understood that sentiment at least. After all it was all he had ever done: Chasing after a goal at full speed. "A powerful light … It can serve as a beacon of hope for the people and a warning for the villains. I swore to myself that I would become that light and kept running until I made it that far." Yeah, that was the difference, Endeavor reminded himself. While Endeavor ran for that unreachable goal all his life, All Might reached his dream eventually. How had he done it, though?

"The people out on the street were always making such anxious faces. No matter how many heroes there were out there, crime would not decrease."

Yes, Endeavor thought, this was his problem, the realization he had come to now, as well. That was why he was here. To find out how to change this.

"The people were afraid … much more than they are now."

Endeavor didn't quite remember those times if he were honest. He'd been a child. All Might had built his symbol of peace so early, when Endeavor had started his career it was already firmly established. He'd never lived through the chaos before. Only seen it briefly when he had been a teenager.

"I ignored the kindness of the people around me … and pushed most of them away. That is the path I chose." There was regret in All Might's voice and Endeavor remembered what he had read a few days ago about Sir Nighteye's fatal mission.

"Your former Sidekick, huh?" asked Endeavor in the ensuing silence. There was only more silence from All Might after that, until …

"Endeavor" started All Might again, "I know full well the kind of situation you're in …" Of course, he would, he'd been in the same position, hadn't he? "And what the world is saying about you." That … All Might had never had to deal with, Endeavor thought. All Might had always been loved by the people, the press … Endeavor was … well, not All Might, and everybody knew. "There are many people out there who compare the two of us to one another. But you and I are different." Endeavor knew that well enough … He had after all tried long enough and hard enough to reach the other hero to understand that much. Endeavor had always ever only been second to All Might.

"There is no need for you to follow in my footsteps" said All Might and Endeavor finally turned away from the training children to look at the former greatest hero "and become the same type of symbol I aimed to become." It was the first time, Endeavor thought, that anybody told him not to be like All Might since he had reached this Number One position. "You simply need your own way of doing things. And there's no need to rush it." The first time really, that anybody – and All Might of all people – acknowledged that Endeavor could do it, not by imitating All Might, but by finding his own way.

Endeavor didn't know what to say to that. Searching for words he heard Present Mic's obnoxious commentary.

"Allrighty then! Looks like he's up next. He's somewhere in between cool and composed and burning with passion!" Shoto! Endeavor thought his head whipping around to see his son more on instinct than as a conscious movement. "Todoroki Shoto!"

"SHOTO!" cheered Endeavor.

The commentator kept talking his nonsense as Shoto stepped forward in front of the kids, then turning around to glare at Endeavor. Endeavor's jaw suddenly snapped shut, his cheers dying out as his son glared at him in his contempt.

"I'm not Five-peepee-man. I'm a UA student and aspiring hero and my name is Shoto" heard Endeavor. "My father is Endeavor, the number one hero, and I've always resented him." Yeah … Endeavor knew. No, matter how much he tried – not that he had tried very hard yet, but he would try harder – he had screwed up with Shoto, any of his kids really and his wife. And he knew it. "So, I set my sights on becoming a hero in order to get back at him." Endeavor remembered the tournament. Shoto might have tried to get back at him then, but really it had in many ways been the first step to mend the breach at least to a degree. "I didn't mesh well with my classmates and …"

At that point Shoto got cut off by the bored children and the commentator. Endeavor watched his son give up without much of a fight and re-joining with his friends. Then, suddenly the action erupted.

Those kids really had no sense of holding back their quirks as they suddenly started a full-front attack. They were also just kids, so Endeavor didn't really fear for any of the students, but someone really should beat some manners … Endeavor cut off his thoughts off at this point. This would not do.

In the end Shoto and the Wind-guy built a huge ice-slide and the children were apparently having a blast. Endeavor had watched quietly when All Might suddenly spoke up again at his side.

"For what reason we're equipped with our powers …" started All Might without the flame hero even asking for more advice – not that he felt the advice given had helped him, yet – "Endeavor, the answer to that must be quite simple."

Endeavor only looked down at the children, at his son, Shoto, showing his flames to a girl and warming her cold fingers. It was, he suddenly realized, really quite simple. He had to secure a future for them.

For Shoto, for his other children … for the next generation, and the one after them. That was his job now as the Number One hero. Not to smile stupidly into the camera, not to reassure everybody that he would be able to defeat any villain, overcome any obstacle, if he couldn't, but to prevent this country from falling into chaos. To protect it, them, make sure they had a future and all the peace they needed to prosper.

He didn't know how to do it. He knew how All Might had done it, but apparently, they both agreed that Endeavor couldn't do it that same way. He'd have to find his own way to protect their futures.

But if so … If protecting their future was his job as a hero, what … What about the future he had cut short? He thought about Rei, about Shoto down there, about Fuyumi at home and Natsuo who was avoiding him. He thought about Touya.

What about the lives he had ruined already?