Is it Thursday already? Man, time flies when you're stuffed with turkey.

I'll be brief...Katmom and Minna still rule, SM still owns Twilight, and I have a persistent kitty who is chewing on my toes so I'll give him a treat.

This is all Edward and Bella POV for those who were missing them, and I'm pretty sure this rates low on the Schmitty Scale of Sob.

Edward

Bella wasn't in Jaden's room when I arrived to pick her up, but I did find Em and the little guy cuddled together, fast asleep. I surmised that they had fallen asleep while reading because there was a Harry Potter book on the bed and Emmett was snuggling with Chocolate.

This was a Kodak moment if I had ever seen one, so I pulled out my phone and snapped a photo of them. Okay, I took about a dozen—it was just too cute to pass up.

Emmett mumbled something about douchebag Dementors and I had to laugh. Jaden opened an eye, squinting in my direction. "Sh, Mr. Edward, Mr. Emmett is sleeeeeping quietly."

I mimed buttoning my lips as I moved over to sit in the chair by Jaden's side of the bed. "Where's Miss Bella, buddy?"

He giggled quietly as he scrunched up his eyebrows. "Miss Bella is with Mr. Peter because his little girl Lily hit her head and is sleeping a lot so Miss Bella went to talk to him about bruised brains."

"Oh…okay?" Yeah, I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You've got your scrunchy face on, Mr. Edward. Miss Bella is okay; she'll come back. Don't be sad."

Scrunchy face? What the…?

Bella called my name quietly from the door. "I'll just be a couple minutes, okay?"

I turned around in my seat to look at my girl and was shocked by the sight of her. Shit, she looked exhausted. "Yeah, love, I'll be here with Jaden."

When she blew me a kiss, Jaden giggled again. "Mr. Edward, I think Miss Bella loves us."

My God, could this kid get any cuter? I wondered if Emma would have been as big of a heartbreaker as he is.

"Yeah, buddy, I think she does."

He smiled and hummed. "I love her too. She reads to me, and gets me blue straws, and sings to me when I'm sad. Music makes me happier. Mr. Emmett said that you play piano. Can you show me someday?"

"I'll teach you how to play if you want," I offered. I mean, hell, if he's going to be family, I might as well cultivate his love of music. "I play guitar, ukulele and drums too."

I watched as Jaden's eyes grow huge. "Really? That's so cool! Are you a rock star, Mr. Edward?"

"No, but he wishes he that was," Emmett mumbled sleepily. "He mostly plays classical music."

"Really? I like that music too! My mommy likes to play it when we bake cookies. Will you play for me?"

I was a little taken aback by how he spoke of his mother in the present, and how he did it so easily. There was no hesitation, no tears, no catch in his voice—nothing. It seemed a little soon for him to be speaking so freely about her, but then again, I'm a music education major, not a child psychologist; what do I know?

"I sure will. Would you like me to put some music on an iPod for you so you can listen while you're in the hospital?"

He let out a big yawn before nodding. "Please? I'm kind of sleepy. Can I go back to sleep, please?"

Emmett pulled up his old childhood blanket so that it was up around Jaden's chin. "Go right ahead, kiddo. Me and Mr. Edward are going to sit by the window and talk so we don't wake you up."

I watched as his little hand shot out to stop Emmett. "No, please stay. I'll sleep, I promise."

"Alright," my brother said to him, worry etched on his face. "I'll be here."

Something was wrong, but then again, it was easy to understand why he wouldn't want to be left alone.

"Thank you." Jaden pulled Chocolate up to his nose and closed his eyes. It wasn't long before he was fast asleep.

"Did the therapist stop by?"

"She's coming in about an hour, why?"

"He's…I don't know. He's not quite right. He can speak about his mother as if nothing happened but he can't be alone. There are some definite issues."

"No shit, Sherlock," my brother spat at me, "how's he supposed to act? How would you act if you saw what he did? If you lost everything? Oh wait, you ran, didn't you? Well, he can't get out of bed to run away, so you tell me how he's supposed to react?"

"EMMETT!" Bella hissed from the doorway. I barely registered her entrance because I was both floored and hurt by my brother's words. "Don't you dare speak to him like that!"

I stood and walked toward her. "Let's just go, Bella. Em's upset and I'm not making it easier on him." I didn't want this to escalate any further and I really needed to get Bella home before she keeled over. "Please, Bella. I want to go home."

She looked me deep in the eyes and after a moment, she agreed. "Home sounds good."

"Edward?"

"What, Em?" I turned us so we were facing my brother. He looked miserable.

"I'm sorry, little brother, I didn't mean it."

I shrugged—a sad attempt at feigning nonchalance. "No apologies necessary; you meant every word of it and it wasn't a lie. You just call 'em like you see 'em. Call if you need us, okay?"

"Edward?"

"What, Em?"

He fist-bumped his chest at me, and I nodded back at him. "Love you too, bro."

Bella and I walked silently out to the car, my arm wrapped around her waist as both a means of support for her physically, and for me emotionally. I tried to push it behind me, at least until we got home, and then I would deal with the hurt my brother's words had inflicted upon my heart.

On our ride home, she spoke very briefly about Peter and Lily, but fell asleep mid-conversation. I carried her into the house and put her to bed before heading out to the kitchen to get started on dinner. It wasn't until I had dinner underway that I allow myself a moment to feel the sting of Em's words.

I knew he was hurting over Jaden and he normally wouldn't bring up something like that, but it still stung a bit. That part of my life will haunt me until the day I die and he knows that it's my weak spot.

Fred nudged my leg before letting out a squeaky meow. I checked that the food would be okay for a minute before bending over to pick him up. His body vibrated with purrs as he head-butted me. "Hey, dude, how was your day? Did you get a lot of sleep, huh? Will you be running around keeping us up all night?"

There's just something incredibly soothing about cuddling a purring cat, and before long, I was feeling a lot better. "Thanks, Fred dude. I owe you one."

He scrunched up his furry orange face, almost grinning at me. Oh yeah, he was definitely going to make me pay.

My phone vibrated on the countertop, so I put down the cat and grabbed it before it could go to voicemail. I saw Mom's smiling face staring back at me from the LCD screen. "Hi, Mom."

"Sweetie, can you shed some light on why I found your brother crying when I arrived at the hospital? Jaden mumbled something about you and Bella having been there, but he was half-asleep and not making much sense. Emmett is rambling on about being an asshole, which is NOT appropriate language for him to be using around a child.

"Did you two have a fight?"

I shouldered the phone as I washed my hands. "Mom, it's nothing."

"Edward Anthony! It's not nothing. What happened?"

"Can you hang on for a second, Mom?" I set the phone down so I could finish washing and drying my hands. I gave the vegetables a quick check and pulled them out of the steamer. "Sorry, I'm in the middle of making dinner."

"Want to call me later?"

I turned the heat off the chicken breasts, and made my way toward the patio doors. "No, it's pretty much done. I'm just going to go out on the deck; I don't want to wake Bella."

"How is she?"

"Exhausted." I quietly closed the patio doors and moved to sit.

"You sound tired too, sweetie. So, are you going to tell me what happened or not?"

Chuckling, I began picking at the weeds in a nearby planter. "Way to cut to the chase, Mom. I don't know exactly what happened. I mean, I asked if Jaden had seen the therapist yet and made a comment about how he seemed to be disconnected from some things and not others. Em…well, he spazzed out on me, said that unlike me, Jaden couldn't just run away from everything."

"And?"

I paused, not wanting to continue this conversation because it would likely upset Mom. "Bella walked in and got mad at him for saying what he said and we left."

"Is that all?"

I ran my now-muddy hand through my hair and didn't realize what I was doing until it was too late. I shook my head and potting soil flew out of it. "Fuck."

Mom sighed, exasperated. "Language, Edward. I swear that people are going to think that I raised a couple of cavemen. So, what else happened?"

"He apologized, I accepted, and we left. That's it."

"Really? Were you upset?"

I kicked at a stone on the wood decking. "What do you think, Mom? Of course it hurt and I was upset, but I'm not mad at him. He's going through a lot right now and he's bound to lash out. I'm a big boy, I can handle it. It's the least I can do."

"Edward?" Bella called out from inside the house.

"Mom, Bella's awake. I need to go put dinner on the table. You're more than welcome to join us if you want."

"Thanks, sweetheart, but Rosie and I had a bite to eat before we came to the hospital. Go feed our girl and call me later. I love you."

I stood and waved at Bella as I said goodbye to my mother. "I love you too, Mom. Tell Emmett to chill out and say hi to Rose and Jaden for me."

"I will. Bye, sweetie."

Bella opened the screen door, looking at me worriedly. "Who was that? Is everything okay? You look stressed out."

I moved inside and pulled her into a hug. "Mm…I love you, Bella."

"I love you too, Edward, but seriously, what's going on?"

"Let's talk over dinner. I don't know about you, but I'm famished."

I served dinner and was thankful when we had a few moments of peace while we ate. Maybe peace isn't the best word to use, because my mind was anything but peaceful. I picked at my chicken and thought about what Emmett had said at the hospital.

"The fiddleheads are perfect, baby. Where did you find them?"

I looked at the young, green ferns all curled up into themselves and thought of poor Jaden.

"Edward?" Bella snapped her fingers at me. "Earth to Edward, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm just lost in thought. I went to the market this morning to pick up some fish for tomorrow's dinner and someone mentioned one of the vendors had some. I rushed over and bought the last two pounds. I wish I had been able to buy more and freeze them."

Bella moaned and it made me smile. "Mm, they're wonderful. The chicken is tasty too. I love your honey mustard chicken. So," she paused to take another bite of chicken, "who was on the phone?"

What is it about the women in my life cutting to the chase so harshly? Let's not ease Edward into the conversation, let's throw him right in to the lions. "It was Mom. Em's pretty upset about this afternoon."

"Of course he is. He was out of line and he knows it," she replied bluntly, as she dipped a fiddlehead into a pool of butter on her plate. "He's feeling like an ass because he acted like one."

I set my fork down on my plate and sighed heavily. "He's upset, Bella, he's out of his league, he's scared, and he's bound to lash out. I put him through so much over the years that I owe it to him to take it and let him get it off his chest. Yes, it hurts, but if it helps him, he can lash out as much as he wants."

Bella exhaled loudly. "You Cullen men and your overdramatic stubborn pride. Ugh. Stop playing the martyr, Edward."

If I thought Emmett's words hurt, Bella's were excruciating. This was not a battle I was prepared to fight at that moment, so I was going to let it slide. Breathe, Edward, keep your cool. After a few breaths, I picked up my fork and resumed eating. "So, how was Jaden today?"

"He's…he needs a lot of therapy and he needs it soon. You weren't off-base with what you said to Emmett. I know Zafrina assessed him, but I'm disgusted that they haven't sent anyone else in to work with him before now."

She dropped her fork onto her plate and pushed it away. "He can't be left alone at all or he panics. I left him for two seconds and he freaked out. It couldn't have been just because he was alone, though, because he was Skyping with his class when it happened. He said something about getting an answer wrong, at least I think that's what happened, and he started screaming and crying that he was stupid. He was inconsolable; they had to sedate him because he pulled out his IV and they worried that he'd pull out the drain in his abdomen."

Bella put her head down on the table and began to cry. "We all want so badly to save him, but I don't know that we're prepared."

"We?" I cocked an eyebrow at her. "He's not our child, Bella."

She sat up, grabbed a napkin and wiped her eyes as she spoke. "Not by blood, Edward, but he might very well become our nephew and we're family—he belongs to all of us now; we all need to help him heal."

I left the table under the guise of taking the dishes to the kitchen, but really, I just needed a moment to cool down. There were so many emotions and thoughts rushing through my mind that it was hard to think straight anymore. Bella's outburst added to it all.

Why was I so angry that she feels so possessive of this child? That she wants to invest so much time and love in him? I mean, I adored him and I hoped he could be part of the Cullen clan, but he's not our child and she can't expect him to play that role. He will be Emmett and Rose's responsibility, not ours. She won't have another child with me right now, but she'll take him on…it makes no sense.

"Edward? Are you okay?" Bella asked quietly from behind me.

"Yeah, I'm just…thinking."

"Why don't you go play for a while and let me do the clean up. Work some of it out in your music. I have some work to do tonight as well, so I'll likely join you later."

I turned and held my arms out to her. She walked over and melted into me. I love her so much, I would do anything for her, but there are just some times when I don't understand her. I held her to me tightly, hoping to find the answers I was looking for, but instead of answers, she gave me love, and that would have to do for now. Her warmth and closeness comforted me, and I smiled against her forehead before planting a gentle kiss.

"I love you, Bella."

Even when I'm frustrated with her, her smile against my chest was a balm to my aching heart.

"I love you too, Edward. So very much. And as much as I would love to hold you until morning, you're too tense and broody, so go hit the ivories for a while, okay?"

After a brief kiss, we parted ways and I walked to my inner sanctum.

As soon as Alice and Jasper moved out, Bella and I had turned their room into the guest room and the guest room into my studio/Bella's office. I couldn't wait to get my piano set up in there and much to Bella's annoyance, I went to work right away on it, even before we sorted out the rest of the house.

So far, after only about a month of co-habitation, things really seemed to be working out. She loved to write while I played, and we had spent many hours creating in that space together. With classes winding down for the semester, I'd spent more time working in my studio than I had doing anything else.

The smooth bench called to me the moment I entered the room, so I sat and stared at the black and white keys, begging them to tell me what to play. Their initial silence was agonizing, so I flexed my fingers, cracked some knuckles and began warming up with some scales, hoping the runs up and down the keys would inspire something else.

I had been playing for about fifteen minutes and something was starting to take shape. I stopped for a moment, booted up my computer and set up the mic for recording. I had an original composition to write for one of my finals and there was something missing in what I had so far. Maybe tonight would be the night when things finally came together.

As soon as everything was ready, I hit record and began to play in earnest.

Bella

By the sound of Edward's playing, he was working through some serious shit. It started off gentle and soothing, but he was now pounding out something much more dark and menacing.

I was tempted to believe that Emmett's words hurt him deeper than he cared to admit, but there was something else—during dinner, he almost seemed angry with me when I referred to Jaden as belonging to all of us. Maybe I touched a nerve? After a moment of reflection I knew I touched a nerve.

Things had been tense lately, there's no doubt about it. I couldn't blame it on the Jaden situation either, because this started before that. As much as I hated to admit it, I was pretty sure that it was my fault. Edward REALLY wanted to try for another child and I was reluctant to do so right now. Watching Alice and Jasper going through all the exciting (and not-so-exciting) things involved with pregnancy had, well, gotten to him.

He'd never admit it, though. He was likely afraid that people will think poorly of him, which they very well might, but he's not alone. There's a part of me that wished it was me with the cravings, swollen feet, and stretch marks, but at the same time, I know it's not feasible right now. Maybe in a few months, maybe in a few years, who knows?

We've discussed it in therapy and neither of our therapists are very keen on us getting pregnant right away. We're ALL concerned that Edward wants this to fill a void he still has, and that was far from a healthy reason to have a child.

Don't get me wrong, I still had that same hole in my heart, and that's why I wanted to wait a while. I needed to be sure that I was doing it for the right reasons and not as a replacement for Emma. Any new baby we might (or might not) have would NOT be Emma and I was concerned that Edward hadn't fully comprehended this.

We had a lot of work to do on our relationship and ourselves before adding another person to the equation. It would have been nice to say that things had been perfect since he moved in, but I would be lying. We have had our fair share of fights; we were no different from other couples. I know that since we returned after Thanksgiving, that everyone seemed to think we had this all worked out, but we didn't. I'm far too independent for Edward's liking; it drives him nuts. I was pretty confident that this was one of our biggest bones of contention. I know my body better than anyone else and I was painfully aware of the repercussions if I overworked myself. Sure, I had had a couple of slip-ups, but I am capable of looking after myself. Edward feels so protective of me that he hovers sometimes, and sometimes I say things that I shouldn't—things that upset him. I don't always mean it when I snap, but there have been times when I meant every word of it, and then some.

My therapist, Charlotte, explained that it was Edward's way of compensating for not saving me from the accident, which was ludicrous because he wasn't even in the car when it happened. She also said that it was a means of making amends for leaving and suggested that Edward's extreme fear of losing me again was prompting him to act irrationally. I can understand that, but just the same, it would be nice to be trusted once in a while.

With the dishes done and Edward still banging away in the studio, I figured I would give Alice a call to see how she was doing. Jasper answered and explained that Alice went to bed at six, and he was heading there soon himself.

"Chasing a class of second graders around is tiring work, darlin'," he said, stifling a yawn. "I need to ask you something, though. What happened with Jaden this afternoon? I heard him crying before we lost our connection."

I walked into the living room and curled up on the couch. "I don't know. I was going to ask you the same thing. I was at the nurses' station when it happened."

"I asked if he wanted to answer a question. He struggled with the answer and got it wrong. It was no big deal; in fact, several of the kids got it wrong."

Fred hopped up in my lap and I scratched gently behind his ears, finding his purring to be soothing. "He was screaming something about being stupid and hitting himself by the time I got there."

Jasper sighed loudly. "He needs a lot of help, Bella."

I echoed his sigh. "I know, Jazzy."

There was silence for a moment before Jasper spoke again, this time sounding a little less sad. "Thanks for being with Alice today. It means a lot to both of us."

"Me too, Jazzy. Thanks for sharing with me."

He yawned in earnest. "I need to go to bed, darlin', I'm falling asleep on my feet. I'll tell her that you called, and I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Hey, wait! Why don't you two come for dinner tomorrow after your turn on Jaden duty?"

"Sounds delightful. Night, darlin'. Love you."

"I love you too, Jazzy. Give Ali and Sunnybubbles a kiss for me."

"Sunnybubbles," he chuckled. "Give Broody Boy a kick for us."

I laughed. "I will."

So, one of you wonderful readers thought well enough of Encore to nominate it for a GLOSP award in the 'Story that broke your heart over and over again. (Saddest fic overall)'category. Voting opened today, so please, even though I don't have a chance against the mammoth fics in the category, it would still be nice to get a couple of votes. *shameless plug, I know*
www DOT glospawards DOT blogspot DOT com

Need fic reading ideas? Wondering what's got me all a-twitter this week?

Hands Open by Nikita2009 (If I could live in a fic for a couple of days, it would be this one)
Last Tango in Forks by Awesomesauce76
Relative Wind by Mac214

If you want other suggestions, may I suggest you check out some of the awesome blogs out there like Southern Fanfic Review, Twi-Muses, The Edge Girls, Fresh Squeezed Lemons and the TwiGasm.

See you next week, and as always, I love to hear what you're thinking. I've read some really neat observations and I love to discuss them with y'all.