What If – Chapter 6

The honeymoon phase of Rachel and Finn's relationship had passed by much quicker than they had wanted. They spent their free time walking the streets, going to any show they could afford, and spent hours and hours making love. They had reached new heights in their love making, and their connection had magnified immensely. Rachel had started classes two week s ago at NYADA and Finn had never seen her happier. She was truly in her element when she was at school, or even when she talked about it at home for that matter. Between Finn's hours at work, and Rachel's school and study groups the pair hadn't had a whole lot of time together. But tonight they were meeting for dinner at a small restaurant close to their apartment. Finn had been saving all his tips from doing oil changes and tire repairs for the past three weeks to prepare for this night. After stopping for a hair cut since Rachel loved it when he had a clean cut, he made it home and took a shower, pulled out the shirt he had ironed the night before and changed. He shaved and checked his appearance in the mirror one more time before grabbing his keys and phone and taking off. He stopped by a little street vendor to grab some flowers for Rachel. Sure money was tight, but tonight he was sparing no expense for his girl. He was only a couple blocks away from the restaurant his phone rang. Looking down he saw Rachel's face light up the screen.

"Hey baby. I was just about to text you to—" He began but the loud noise in the background made it hard for him to hear the other end. "Finn. Hey babe, I'm sorry I can't really hear you. My dance instructor has us all staying super late to practice for out freshman opener. I'm not sure how long I will be stuck here." Rachel said, and Finn felt his shoulders slump. He hadn't said a word so Rachel tried again. "Finn, babe? Are you there?" He stood up, cleared his throat and answered. "yeah, I'm here. I uh, I understand you have to stay. I mean I know that you need—" Finn was cut off by a voice he didn't recognize. "Rach, babe. Come on. We need to get rehearsing. We're up next." The man's voice said. Finn wrinkled his forehead, straining to hear over the noise on Rachel's end as well as the honking taxi's on his. "Who was that? Hello? Rachel?" He yelled. "Finn, I can't hear you. I have to get back. I'll call you on my way home. Love you." And then the line went dead.

Finn took his time walking home. He sat on a bench in central park and stared off at a couple that was walking hand in hand. They looked so happy and in love, and it hurt him because not long ago that was him and Rachel. He knew that coming to New York with her was going to be a challenge, because this is a sacrifice he wanted to make in order for her dreams to come true, but he never dreamed it would be this hard. And hearing some guy's voice calling HIS girlfriend "Babe" made his skin crawl. He sat there for hours unaware of the passing time. When the temperature started to drop he decided to head home. He couldn't believe he had lost track of time just sitting there, lost in his own thoughts. He took his time walking home, letting his thoughts run through him. He was so hurt over tonight, and he knew he shouldn't be. Rachel was going to NYADA. The school of her dreams. He felt like he should be happy that he was here to begin with. But still something kept pulling at the back of his mind. Walking up the stairs to their loft he heard the sound of the television playing from the other side of their door. Sliding it open he noticed Rachel fast asleep on the couch. He thought about waking her, but decided to let her rest and headed in to take a shower.

Rachel woke when she heard the shower running. She had papers spread across her lap and on the coffee table, so she pushed them off of her and walked towards the restroom. Passing the kitchen she saw a bouquet of flowers upside down in the trash. She pulled them out and saw the card that was attatched to them. She pulled it out of the envelope and read Finn's messy handwriting.

-Happy One Month in your land of dreams. I'm so happy to be celebrating this with you. To be sharing this life with you. I love you so much today, but I'll love you even more tomorrow. Love You Always, Finn-

She felt tears swell up. She had completely forgotten that they had plans tonight. She had been so wrapped up in everything she had going on with school that everything else had taken a back seat. She had promised to make Finn a priority, and she was doing a horrible job. She walked into the restroom just as Finn stepped out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist. "Hey. I didn't you hear come in." She said, leaning against the doorway and crossing her arms over her chest. Finn didn't say anything, instead he stepped past her and walked towards their bedroom to put some clothes on. "Oookay. I deserve that." She said, following him into the bedroom. He spun around, slipping a shirt on after his boxers. "Rachel, don't. I just want to go to bed. I have to be at work early in the morning." He still wouldn't look at her. He pulled the cover back and slid into bed. Pulling his lamp off quickly. He lay back and his arm crossed over his eyes. Part of him felt like he was being unfair, but the other part of him felt like he was the furthest thing from a priority to his girlfriend and for that he was angry.

"Finn. About tonight… I'm so sorry. I didn't remember about dinner. And after class, Broady and the others wanted to practice, so I—" At this Finn cut her off and sat up angrily. "Who the hell is Broady? Is that the guy that called you 'babe' on the phone? Huh? Is there something going on that you might want to tell me about? Because if you want me out of here so you can go on dates and be single, then just say so Rachel. Because I'm not going to stay here and just be someone who occupies your time when your not at NYADA." Finn said harshly. He wished he could take back the words, but knew he couldn't. The look of hurt on her face made his heart hurt. "Do you really think that way about me? That I would cheat on you? Broady is my dance partner, Finn. He is nobody. And the fact that you would even accuse me of that makes me beyond mad at you. How dare you!" She yelled back. "Rachel, I—" "No! You know what? I know that I messed up tonight, and I hurt your feelings. For that I am so sorry. But I am not going to sit here and defend myself for not being a cheater. And the fact that you would even think such a thing makes me question this relationship. Maybe you should—" Finn stood up, stepping away as if she had just slapped his face with the words he knew were fixing to come next. "Leave? Maybe I should leave? That's what you were going to say wasn't it? Well you know what Rachel, fine. I'm out of here. Good luck with your perfect life. You're here in New York. Exactly where you wanted to be. I hope it's everything you ever wanted, since I know I'm sure as hell not it." He ripped his jeans off the back of the chair and slipped them on before grabbing his shoes, phone and keys and walking out the front door.

Rachel started to stop him so many times but her body stayed frozen in its tracks. It wasn't until she heard their door slide shut with a loud 'bam' that she collapsed into a crying mess on her bed. How did things get this screwed up? They were so happy and in love and nothing could touch them, but yet their first big fight ended with them breaking up. Rachel felt sick. She couldn't believe what had just happened. When her phone rang she jumped up and ran over to answer it, expecting it to be Finn she didn't even look at the number and answered, "Finn. Baby…" She began, but the voice on the other end didn't match the one she loved so dearly. "Uh, nooo… Not Finn. It's Broady." Rachel's heart sank. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now, all she wanted was to go back 15 minutes and none of this to have happened. "Broady, now isn't a good time. I really can't—" She tried, but he cut in. "I know it's really late and I'm sorry to bother you, it's just I can't find my cell phone. I was wondering if maybe you picked it up when you left on accident. I'm borrowing my roommates phone to call you now. It wouldn't be a big deal, but I'm supposed to open for work in the morning and kinda need my phone." He said, sounding desperate. Rachel let out a breath and walked over to her bag. Pulling her things out she sighed when she noticed his phone was indeed in her bag. "I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking when I left. I was in such a hurry to get home that I didn't even notice I had picked it up by mistake." She said. "What's your address and I will grab a cab and come pick it up." Rachel rolled her eyes, not wanting to see anyone, but he insisted he needed his phone so she gave him the address before hanging up and flopping back down on to her bed.

About a half hour later she still hadn't heard from Finn and she couldn't keep the tears from falling when she heard a knock on the door. She wiped her face the best she could before walking over to open the door. The second Broady laid eyes on Rachel he could tell she had been crying. He stepped inside uninvited and put his hand on her shoulder, not even closing the door behind him. "Rachel? Oh my God are you ok? Are you hurt?" He asked. "Emotionally? Beyond. Physically? No." She said, turning away from him and walking over to the counter to retrieve his phone. "What happened? Hey… look at me." He tried again. When she looked up at him she couldn't help it. She fell into him and cried. She didn't think anything of it other than having someone to hold her while she cried. "Hey, hey. Shhh, it will be ok. Let's sit on the couch and you can tell me what happened." He said, putting his arm around her shoulder and walking her towards the couch. Once they were sitting down he stood up and walked over to the sink, pulled a glass from the dish drainer and poured her a glass of water before returning to her side on the couch. "Here. Drink this." He said, handing her the glass. "Thanks." She sipped the water before setting it on the coffee table and pulling her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. "So what happened? Where's your boyfriend?" Broady asked, looking over the couch to make sure he didn't see Finn. They had never met, but from the photos Rachel had shown him a dozen times he knew Finn was a really big dude. "He left me. He's gone." She said before the tears started to fall harder. He scooted closer to her and pulled her into his chest. "What happened?" He pushed. Rachel explained to him the play by play of their fight and Broady sat there listening.

"Rachel, NYADA is a tough program. You and I both know that. Finn doesn't understand because he doesn't go there. It's hard for anyone to understand the pressure we are under if they aren't going through it." He said. "No, Finn is such a great guy. He understands everything I'm dealing with, mostly anyway. He is always so supportive of everything I do. He is the one that pushes me when I feel like I can't keep going." She said, a small smile on her face just thinking of the night Finn surprised her with an at home 'Rachel Berry Production' one night.

Flashback

"Hey babe. I'm home!" Rachel called out into the loft. When she didn't hear a response from Finn she had a puzzled look on her face. He had just text her an hour ago saying he was on his way home. 'That's weird' she said to herself. Walking further into their home she stopped when she saw Finn, standing there with a shirt and tie on. "Good evening. Ladies and gentlemen. I hope you are prepared for the entertainment of a lifetime this evening." He said as Rachel walked up to him. She looked around and noticed a mic stand next to a second hand karaoke machine. The microphone was stretched up on the top of the stand and there was a small folding chair set next to one of the night stands. Finn had moved their bed off of the small raised platform and created a stage. She smiled much wider now that she had realized what he was doing. "Babe…" She tried, but Finn remained in character. "Excuse me, Ms. Berry. You're fans await your performance. We better get you on stage." He said, his hand coming to rest on the small of her back, leading her towards the 'stage'. "Are you serious?" She asked, looking up into those honey brown eyes. "As a heart attack." He said with a wink. "Finn, I'm in yoga pants and a sports bra. I would never be caught dead in this on stage." He laughed and said, "Lucky for you, your biggest fan is in the audience tonight and he just so happens to LOVE the way your yoga pants fit around your incredible butt, and that bra, well it hugs something he particularly loves." Rachel blushed and shook her head. She loved the way he could make her feel like the sexiest woman in the world, even when she knew she was far from it. She stepped up to the microphone and watched as Finn took a seat at his "table". "So, what is it that you would like to hear this evening?" She played.

"It's right there on the stand." He said, pointing towards the makeshift music stand he created. He stood up, and ran over to the karaoke machine and hit play before quickly taking his seat again. Rachel looked at the paper and began to sing the song, "Need You Now". She took a minute to warm up to this 'performance' but soon, just as she did anytime she sang, she poured her heart into it. When she finished, she opened her eyes and looked at a standing Finn who was clapping like crazy. He pinched his lip and whistled before yelling 'bravo'. Rachel stepped down from the 'stage' and walked over to Finn, wrapping her arms around his neck and standing on her tip toes to kiss him. "Now will you tell me what all this is about?" She asked. He looked down at her and smiled. "You have been so stressed this week, with starting classes and worrying about doing everything perfectly that I wanted to remind you exactly why we are here. Because seeing you do that, it's a feeling that I can't describe. When you sing you become alive. You light up light a freakin star. And anyone who hears you can't help but be pulled in like a beacon of light. You have a talent that should be shared with the world. You're voice is a gift that everyone should get to experience." Rachel had tears fill her eyes before pulling him down to kiss her deeply. When they broke apart she whispered, "I love you so much." Rachel knew that this man was the reason she would become anything in this life. Not because of her years of preparing herself for New York, but because his love was so strong it would help her conquer anything in her way.

When they broke apart she pulled his hand towards the 'stage/bedroom' and said, "Well since you went to all the trouble to set this up, why don't you and I sing a song together. Like old times." She winked. "How could I say no to someone as adorable as you?" He asked. "You can't. And don't you ever forget that."

End of Flashback

Rachel didn't realize that she had fallen asleep on the couch while she and Broady were talking. She had cried for another hour or so while he sat there listening and eventually she dozed off. Broady knew that he should leave, but the fact was he did like Rachel. Even if he knew she had a boyfriend he still wasn't going to pass up the opportunity to lay here holding her. He silently hoped to himself that Rachel and Finn were really over and he would get his shot at being with her. The next morning his cellphone alarm went off to let him know it was time to get ready for work and it woke both him and Rachel. Rachel felt an arm draped across her chest and for a second snuggled into the embrace. "Mmm, why are we on the couch." She said, still half asleep. "We fell asleep talking." The voice said, and Rachel literally jumped up as if she were sitting on an open flame. "Broady? Oh my God, I forgot you were here. I must have fallen asleep when we were talking. Finn… oh my God. Finn." She looked around and there was still no sight of him. "He never came back last night." Broady said, reaching for her hand. "Sit back down. It's really early." He tried. "No. I have to find Finn. She ran over to grab her cell phone. No calls or texts from him. She was panicking. "He hasn't even called. Where could he be? He could be laying in a street somewhere hurt and I was here sleeping." She said, her freak out growing into a full force panic attack. "Rachel, I am sure he is fine. If he wanted to call you he would have. You need to calm down. You have your freshman opener today and you need to focus on that, nothing else is—" Rachel sat down on the couch, putting her face into her hand. Broady reached over, running his hand up and down her back. "Hey. Listen to me. You are going to be ok. This Finn guy doesn't know what he is losing. You are one hell of a catch, and any man would be more than happy to have you as his." Rachel looked up at Broady and before she had a chance to stop it he leaned over and kissed her. Her brain caught up with what was happening and she started to pull away but not fast enough as Finn yelled, "What the fuck!" Both she and Broady pulled apart quickly.

"FINN! It wasn't what it looked like! Please just—" She tried but Finn wasn't even looking at her. He lunged forward and his fist connected with Broady's face. Broady fell back onto the floor where Finn sat on top of him and punched him repeatedly. Rachel jumped on Finn and tried as much as she could to stop him. "Finn! Stop! Please!" She yelled. Using all the strength she had, which wasn't much of a match for Finn's brute force, she managed to pull him off of a bleeding Broady. "Ughhhh." Broady moaned from the floor holding his bleeding nose. "Rachel looked at Broady, then back to Finn who was out of breath and staring blankly. "Finn, please listen." She tried. Finn snapped back into reality and stood up, dusting off his pants. "Listen to what? To you tell me that the second I walked out the door last night you called his jackass over to comfort you? That you and he are just 'friends'? Because what I saw when I walked in here was the furthest thing from friendship!" He said, his anger coming to a boil. From the floor Broady tried to speak, "You are the one that left her. I would never do that!" Finn's eyes went wide and he started to lunge forward again, but Rachel got in between them. "Finn, please. Don't." She begged. "What? You protecting your new boyfriend? I can't believe you! I knew you and I had a fight, and I was a wreck walking around all night. I came back here to beg you to forgive me for being such a selfish asshole and find out that I wasn't the asshole in this situation. So you enjoy yourself. " He walked over to the dresser and the closet and pulled out a duffel bag tossing clothes into it. "Rachel ran up to him, trying to grab his arm to stop him. "Finn. Please don't leave. Please!" She begged. "Let him go Rachel." Broady added, but this time Rachel was the one who yelled at him. "Broady, get out! Just…get…out!" She said with force. Broady shook his head and walked over, sliding the door shut behind him. Rachel turned her attention back to Finn who was grabbing his work uniforms and shoving them into the already full bag. "Babe, Please calm down and talk to me."

Finn stopped moving, his hands holding onto each side of the dresser trying his best to hold in the hurt he was feeling. He didn't even realize he had tears falling freely down his face until Rachel reached up and wiped them away. "Finn, nothing happened. You have to believe me. I would never do that to you. I was crying about how much I missed and loved you when HE tried to kiss ME." She explained. Finn's heart was racing and he knew deep down that Rachel would never lie right to his face. He turned around, forcing himself to look her in the eyes for the first time since walking into the loft. "Do you have feelings for him?" He asked seriously. Rachel shook her head 'no'. "I don't have feelings for anyone other than you Finn. You are the love of my life. I have waited 4 years to be with you and there is no way that one argument is going to make me stop. "I love you so much Finn and I am so sorry for not making you a priority. You are the most important person in my life and I don't care about NYADA or anything else. Without you, nothing else means anything to me. Please… please don't leave." She begged.

Finn felt his walls breaking. He loved Rachel with everything he had inside of him, and last night that is all he wanted, was for her to realize that she had pushed him to the furthest burner she possibly could and it was killing him. "I love you too Rachel. And I know you are going to have commitments and things you have to do and I support that. But I'm here because I want to help you. I want to be a part of all this. With you. But if I'm just a distraction, then I don't want to be here. I want you to have everything you ever wanted. But that guy? That guy I don't trust as far as I can throw." He said seriously.

"You will never have to worry about him or any other guy Finn. You are it for me. " She said, stepping closer to him and then reached for his bag, dumping all of the clothes out of it onto the floor. Finn watched her actions and his head tilted to the side in confusion. "You are the most special person in my life, and I want to show you how special you are. How there is something that nobody else will ever have. Only you…" She pulled his hand and he stepped towards her. She sat on her knees on the bed, leaning up towards him and pulling his head down to hers. "I never want anything person touching me.." she kissed his jaw, "here." She said as she put his hands over her center. "or here" she added placing his over hand over her breast. "I'm yours and only yours." She said before capturing his lips fully and pulling him onto the bed with her.

She silently told herself that letting Finn feel like he wasn't important to her would be something she would never let happen again. After all, New York would never be home without the man she loved.