I have such bad manners: I haven't thanked anyone for a chapter or so: what kind of an author-wannabe am I? So, here it is: THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH! I loves all of yous, especially ye who reviewe.

Oh gods, I'm turning into a review, er, person. Not a word that rhymes with "more". What ever gave you that impression...?

And(!) I'm very sorry for the inconstancies concerning Pain's name, varying from Pain to Leader-sama: I will rectify this soon. Er...maybe…

And for those who didn't know, Tanked is a televisional feast on aquariums... hint hint. Ugh, this is turning into a novel... or at least a novella - but I digress!

Standard disclaimer applied!

5.) Start an aquarium

"Well, Kisame-san, why don't you tell me why you're here?" the kindly looking therapist peered over the tops of his Therapist: Standard Issue Glasses (trademark) to look at the gilled man.

Kisame twiddled his thumbs, peering down at his feet hesitantly. The therapist prompted him with a gentle cough.

"Well, it all started when Leader-sama went away on vacation with Konan-san…"

…

It was a grim, grey, lazy day in Amegakure. The sun was completely obscured by the clouds and thick sheets of cold rain were sleeting down all over the city, countryside, and more specifically — the Akatsuki's Headquarters/Hideout.

But that did not stop Kisame from feeling as chipper as a chipmunk — nay, he felt invigorated by the pouring water!

Unlike his fellow members...

Sasori was holed up in his room, either working on more poisons, or just vegetating; Deidara, too, was stuck indoors, the rain dampening his explosions and, as he claimed, his creative juices. Tobi...well, absolutely nothing stopped Tobi, so what was a little rain compared to the urge to frolic in the dewy and green fields like a rabbit? So, for better or worse, Tobi, at least, was out of the house.

That left Kisame's own partner, the "Zombie Brothers" — and Zetsu — who was off on a mission, both sides muttering darkly.

Itachi was lodged in the infirmary, sleeping off an over-usage of his Sharingan (among other things...take that how you will) — and Kakuzu and Hidan were probably attempting to murder each other somewhere — claiming a dual lack of "stuff" to do.

So that left Kisame to train vigorously, eat fish food (afternoon snack…) and then watch Jaws, re-runs of Shark Week, Tanked, Finding Nemo, The Little Mermaid, etc. while holding (i.e. cuddling) his Collectable Jaws Plushie. Y'know, real manly stuff like that.

Basically, he was in fishy-sharkie heaven.

Until Hidan, gore covered and blood splattered flopped down on the couch beside him, announcing in much more vulgar terms than the author was willing to write down that he was "tired." Kisame, of course, recoiled in disgust at his disheveled appearance and scooted several inches further down the length of the couch, turning up the volume on Tanked.

Hidan leaned forward into the direction of the television. — whether his reaction was due to loss of blood or genuine interest will never be known, but his action started the entire unholy event.

He stared into the television's depth for a few minutes, apparently listening intently. Kisame eyed him warily and started slightly when he began to speak.

"You know," he stared at Kisame, eyeing him unabashedly up and down the length of his body (Kisame began to turn a very fetching shade of magenta), "we should start an aquarium."

"I — I beg your pardon?" The blue shark man asked disbelievingly.

Hidan's grin grew wider. "Well sure, why not, really? I mean, you could be the shark, we could probably bribe Kakuzu into dressing up as…something… and we could build tanks - that would be so totally fucking awesome...!"

Kisame gulped and clutched his Collectable Jaws Plushie closer to himself.

…

"And?" the therapist prompted.

"…I don't really want to talk about it…"

Suffice to say, Kisame later told the man, in utter and complete confidence, that he was still finding fish food in places he thought it impossible to be found.

The therapist (to his credit) only blinked, then offered Kisame a tissue and his card, patted him on the shoulder and sent him on his (not so) merry way.

...

Personally, I absolutely adore/love therapists: it's just so easy to make fun of them! Don't get me wrong, most of them are great people and genuinely helpful, but the whole institution of "therapy" and "human psychology" and "stuff" makes me wonder about Freud...

And it also provides great fodder for fanfics!

And then there(')(?)(...grammar...yargh)s the infamous therapist anagram...

Anyways, cheers!

CherrySmoothies