The Feather Tamer
thestoicwarrior
...
Chapter 5: Nightmares and Flowers
Robe, check. Wand, check. Shoe...oh hell. I was definitely going to be late for work. I grabbed my wand hurriedly and jumped down the hallway on one barefoot. Stumbling over a cat toy (Melaka couldn't just go play outside or torture the neighbor's dog or something?), I grabbed the wall for support with one hand and pulled out my wand with the other. Now that's some talent.
"Accio Heel!" I made sure to picture it clearly in my head. Wouldn't want all of Marlene's heels to come flying at me. Today had already been bad enough. And it was only eight in the morning.
I threw on my heel and apparated to the ministry.
It was five minutes past eight, which wouldn't've been such a bad thing if it wouldn't take me ten minutes to wait for an open lift, wait for other witches and wizards to get off at other floors, and then finally come to the twelfth floor.
I swear, one of these days, I'm just going to bring my feather and fly up to the twelfth floor. Hecate knows it'd be faster. I'd have to make sure to wear pants though.
Fifteen minutes past eight, I rushed into the lab. No office work today, I was to the testing phase of my new potion. Yesterday I had attempted to test it and it blew up everywhere. All over the ceiling and my clothes and my new shoes.
My coworker, Severus Snape, looked over at me. (Is it just me or does he always have that look in his eyes—the one a little kid gives his mother--when he looks at me?) I shivered at my own thoughts.
Snape said, "Don't worry about it. Boss man seems to be in a cheery mood today. He probably won't say much."
"Good, I don't think my stress level can put up with 'Timeliness is next to godliness'," I mocked our boss. "You wouldn't believe my morning."
As I gathered ingredients, I told him about it. I left out the part where I had stayed up late last night cleaning and fretting over the Order meeting at our loft that is set to happen tonight.
I did, however, tell him about my awful dream. "I was so wrapped up in my dream this morning, I never even heard Mar get up. I ended up getting up late. It's the first time I've had this particular dream. I dreamt that I went over to mum and dad's place. We were on our way to lunch, Petunia driving and the rest of us riding along. Which, would never happen. Petunia would never get in a car with such a 'freak'."
A feeling of regret washed over me, which I soon repressed (for fear Snape might see it on my face, he'd never understand, I think I'd feel bad if he tried to empathize for me).
"Anyway, we're driving along a windy road behind another car when suddenly the road twists sharply and right beyond the curve is an overflow of water. The whole road looks like it just disappears into a swamp. Pet slams on the breaks, barely avoiding it. But it was too late for the first car."
I heated up my burner and drew out a small cauldron. I crossed my fingers hoping nothing would blow up today. This has to work today or my job could be questioned. I've been working on this one forever. As I was tightening my apron (don't want guts of rat splashing on my new skirt) I looked over at Snape. He was chopping some foreign ingredient he'd ordered from a dragon keep up in Norway. He seemed completely enthralled in my story. Which, sorta excited me. I know I have friends, mostly just Marlene, but having someone listen and be interested in everything you say is always a wonder to me.
So I kept telling him my dream, "We all got out of the car (a little sore from the sudden stop) and rushed over. I peered into the side window and saw a twisted face all torn up from the seat belt."
Snape looked a little confused, "Seatbelt?"
"You know, to hold you into your seat in a car. Um I guess you don't know... Petunia, all shaken up, drove back up the road to the store at the corner to borrow their telephone and call an ambulance. Medical muggle people," I elaborated.
I sprinkled in some black cat whiskers into my boiling mass of ingredients. It made me wince, talk about animal abuse at its finest. Trust the ministry to harm cats, house elves, dragons, any living creature they can get their greedy little hands on.
But I had no choice, black cats have magical properties about them, plus cats are very wise. I want people like Remus to be able to keep their human minds while their bodies transform into viscous creatures. I'd have to simmer the potion for 24 hours in order to get the whiskers to soften up and the magic in them to break down and mix into the rest of the potion.
"I just can't get over that vivid image of the man's skin ripped off his face and blood sinking into the water. He was dead fast. Humans are so vulnerable to death. One little thing goes wrong and your heart stops pumping blood. Plus with Voldemort..."
Snape definitely saw that look on my face. I was thinking of the Bones' being carted out of their own house. Or what was once their house. Now who knows what will happen to it.
"Lily, trust me, you don't need to worry about Voldemort. Yeah, he's a big threat, but he wouldn't dare sending a puny death eater out on such a strong witch as yourself. You could probably take down three at once." Oh sure, Voldemort'd just come himself. That was very comforting.
I didn't ask how Snape knew what Voldemort would or wouldn't do. Sometimes it's better not to know. So instead, I told myself "yeah, it's obvious, no death eater out for my wand."
I wasn't phased.
The meeting was tonight. I wondered how many months I'd last. The Bones' only lasted three.
I wonder what my gravestone would say "Head Girl, Best Friend, No Other Life Accomplishments".
I mentioned it to Snape. He's like my journal, I can spout things off and he just listens, happy to be there.
But I should have stopped being melodramatic. I knew it, but I just couldn't help it. It was nice to hear Snape be like, "Lily, you know you're a damn talented witch. You know everyone loves you. Head girl was a huge accomplishment. You're doing a job you love (even if the work is slow and you have to try the same potions again and again); you're living with your best friend. That sounds like a pretty good life to me." I couldn't tell if he was in awe of my life or feeling sorry for himself (his life does seem to border the boring side—all he ever talks about is potion making and books he's reading). His emotions are so hard to pick, I swear. But he's a good friend of mine, nevertheless. Always has been it seems.
Okay, I lied. Not always. There was a few times I refused talk to him for months back when we were at Hogwarts. Usually because he'd act all different or put me down if anyone else was around. I will not stand for two-faces. Especially around Slytherins.
I know I shouldn't think bad on Slytherins. Especially since, during my reign as head girl, I had to treat them with the same respect as everyone else (even though I suspected them to be slimy bastards). Now, I've just stopped worrying about how I judge them. According to Snape most of them are death eaters anyway. He'd know, he has to go to these big slimy Slytherin events for "prestigious wizarding families" and apparently everyone just boosts about their duty to Voldemort. Sounds like a dry party if I ever heard one.
I prefer fondue and maybe a little booze at my parties. Not Slytherins' egos.
Lunch time had arrived. I had still to hear from my boss on being late today, so I figured I was in the clear.
I didn't figure, however, that Snape would leave for lunch. He always stays to eat lunch with me. Unless I've got somewhere to be for the lunch hour.
To tell the truth I was a little disappointed he had left me to eat my turkey wrap all by my lonesome.
I didn't figure that, while spontaneously being out at lunch for the first time in probably forever, Snape would just so happen to walk by a flower shop.
And then walk in.
And then proceed to buy me a bouquet of lilies.
(Someone ought to tell him that lilies symbolize death. Way to go.)
"I hope you like them. It made me think of you and how horrible your day has been so far," Snape smiled (well, it was more of a lip curl).
I'm not incompetent. By any means.
I knew Snape went out to get them specifically for me. And I knew they weren't just for friendship. Not with that smile. He hardly ever smiles, even when he's happy.
But what do I say to him?
"Sorry but I'd rather be miserable and lonely since that's how I obviously come off to you"?
"Nice try, but flowers are tacky!"? (Secretly, I always do like a bouquet of flowers. Just usually not ones that symbolize what I'm stressed out about in the first place.)
Or maybe I'd just say thanks and ignore the gesture behind the flowers.
He spoke first, "Let me take you out for dinner. It'd get everything off your mind."
Order to the rescue. I had plans tonight. Not that I could tell him specifically that. Hopefully he wouldn't inquire.
"Actually I have plans with Marlene tonight. Thanks for the offer and for the flowers, though. They're lovely," I bent down to smell them. "But I really just need to be alone to think about all the things that are happening lately. Maybe meditate a little. You know how I'm not that interested in dating. I'm perfectly happy with Marlene and Melaka for evening company, really." I was rambling. As I'm prone to do from time to time. Plus, I just told him I'd rather hang out with my cat than him. Oops.
I knew I should have not been so melodramatic.
I opened my mouth to form more jargon but Snape was just like, "It's fine Lily, really. I am okay with your rejection. I understand how you think."
I swear I heard him growl, "Potter" in a low voice. But it could have just had something to do with my brain. Damn Potter for interrupting my thoughts. He's not even here and he can still do it.
"Thanks Severus. The flowers really do mean a lot," I smiled warmly at him.
He seemed to brighten up at that and started to clean up his work spot. It would probably take him forever to write up the report for his potion. Write-ups always do. I did not envy his afternoon. Rejection and paper work.
Give me an afternoon in McGonagall's class over that any day.
I guess things always seem better when put into perspective.
...
thestoicwarrior
:) review