Memo: Finally, spring break and I actually had time to update! I haven't updated since February, but I'm trying to get back on schedule!
Disclaimer: All Mrs. Meyer's work…Just my plot
Previous Chapter:
"Don't force Bella into this," said Carlisle. "She may have changed her mind."
"I know," I promised. He and Esme left, giving Jasper and me privacy.
"I hope you're right Alice," said Jasper, holding my hand.
"Oh, I'm always right," I replied with a smirk although I felt an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Bella's gift could be the only chance we had left…
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
It pierced through the windows, so blinding and bright. It was ironic, I thought. How something so beautiful could hit me with such brilliance, while I just lay there, consumed by its very presence. Normally, I would have bounded up to the window and greeted it, but I was different now—changed. The sight of the sun in this rainy town didn't excite me, but rather pained me—filling me with unwanted memories of a small meadow…the meadow—the very meadow in which I had seen the glorious angel gleaming like a thousand gems under the sun's radiance. But no longer was I the same. I hated how the rays hit the trees, dancing across the leafy greens. I hated how it looked so cheery outside while I felt ripped apart inside. And most of all, I hated how it reminded me of him.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
SEPTEMBER
OCTOBER
NOVEMBER
(Three months passed in Phoenix)
"Bella, I'm leaving ok?" a hurried Renee shouted from the corner of the room, lifting her purse from the kitchen table while holding her keys in her teeth. I sighed, exasperated. Did I still have to take care of her even now?
"You forgot your wallet Mom," I reminded her.
"Oh, right. I knew I was missing something." She quickly walked over to the kitchen table, searching behind the glass jar of cookies.
"It's upstairs in your room. You left it in your jacket pocket when you came back from work. Remember?" She sighed, gratefully.
"What would I do without you Bells?" She ran upstairs quickly.
"Whatever you were doing before I came to Phoenix," I muttered to myself. It had become a daily routine now. Renee would head for her newest class while I stayed home, taking care of the three month old baby. It wasn't as hard as I'd pictured it. The baby, named Elizabeth after my grandmother's middle name, usually slept. By the time she woke up, Renee was already home, feeding her, and later, putting her back to sleep. Phil was gone for the week to play his baseball games in Florida. Renee had decided it would be better if she raised the baby here instead of in Jackson. It was fine by me. Anyway, I knew the surroundings better.
A jingling sound met my ears and I turned, seeing Renee running down the beige steps, keys in hand.
"Ok. I think I have everything." She turned to face me. "I'll be back around 4 o'clock. If Lizzy acts up, call me and I'll come strait home." I nodded. She squeezed me in an awkward one armed hug and left through the front door. I waited until I heard the car backing up from the parking lot. My hand instinctively reached for the baby monitor on the kitchen counter. Quiet breathing met my ears. She was asleep…as usual.
Well, that left me with a lot of time.
I tried to avoid having time on my hands.
I needed something to keep me busy.
My eyes scanned the bright yellow walls Renee had painted herself. A kitchen knife rested at the edge of the counter. The sides gleamed, and I felt oddly reassured by its presence—like it could protect me from anything.
Well that's stupid, I thought. I'd already lost the most important part of my life. What did I have to lose? As if some simple cutting knife could guard me from vam…I swallowed, forcing the word to disappear. Today wasn't the day I ended up on the floor, gasping and holding my chest. I'd been doing that daily now. I tried to hide it. When Renee was out at one of her classes or late at night, when the world was asleep, I would curl up and give myself up to the darkness. Feel the pain until I no longer could.
I turned away from the knife and tried to focus my thoughts elsewhere. A phone book rested by the TV.
There might be some good Chinese takeout place Renee might like. I looked under Fast Food and skimmed through the yellow pages. A name caught my eye.
Alice's Diner.
Two simple words set my heart beating frantically. Alice. It had been a little more than three months since I'd last seen her. I could have visited her anytime between the three week span when Charlie had gone home from the hospital. Of course, I'd been too busy trying to convince Charlie that I was all right and actually wanted to go to Phoenix. Or maybe it was just that I didn't want to see Alice. Would it hurt too much to see her pale beauty? Would it be reminiscent of him?
A sharp piercing sound met my ears, and I started. It's just the phone. I picked it up hesitantly.
"Hello?" I questioned.
"Bella," the voice on the other end sighed. I knew that voice. I would know that voice anywhere. Alice. Coincidence?
No, I didn't believe in coincidences.
"Alice?"
"Yes Bella, it's me. How are you?" she asked, tentatively.
"I'm ok," I replied, although I was far from being ok. "How did you get this number?"
"I asked Charlie." Of course. I'd forgotten how much Charlie liked Alice—he'd be willing to give her anything.
"Look, Alice. I know I haven't kept in touch with you. It's just…I…" She cut me off.
"It's fine Bella. Don't worry; I know you've been occupied." She paused. "I have to talk to you about something—something important."
"What is it?" I asked. She sounded like a mother trying to explain to her child that crayons were meant to stay on paper, not walls.
"It's about Edward," she said. My stomach lurched, and I clutched on to the counter for support. I hadn't heard his name spoken out loud in a very long time.
"Go on," I urged her, weakly…
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
ALICE POV
So I told her. Everything.
It was time she knew the truth after all. It was time she knew what she could do.
I told her of her gift—how it could possibly bring Edward back. She seemed on the verge of tears, so I tried not to push her.
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive
There was silence after I finished talking. I could hear her shallow breathing.
"Bella?"
"Alice," she choked. I knew she was crying now.
"Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."
"No, no," she replied, hurriedly. "I'm not angry. I'm actually the complete opposite."
"So you're ok with this?" I asked, not at all believing what she was saying.
"Ok?" she replied, incredulous. "Why didn't you tell me this before?" I didn't want to give you false hope.
"Bella, you don't understand. I am not even entirely sure if this will work! It was simply an idea that I thought could possibly turn out alright. Key word: possibly." She exhaled sharply.
"Alice, you can see the future. You're always right. It has to work. I mean all these months I've been thinking that…that he's really gone for good." Her voice cracked. I could hear the pain in her voice, the longing. I sighed.
"Before you do anything, promise me that if this doesn't work you will not lapse into one of your depression stages, and that when you come to Forks, you'll live with us for a while." She remained silent.
"Bella…"
"I promise," she replied.
"Alright then. Oh, and Bella?"
"Yes?" she asked.
"Be safe." I hung up.
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
BELLA POV
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
Be safe. The memory of those words haunted me like an old record playing repeatedly. He…Edward, I forced myself to think…had written those exact words in his elegant script.
I clutched at my stomach. The hole was slowly getting larger and larger. I didn't care though. It was time to start living for the future. Alice had said my gift could bring him back.
It was weird. Soon, if I could somehow manage to get past the treaty, I would posses the gift of time-according to Alice's vision-. It sounded as if it were meant for some great being. I couldn't even walk without tripping let alone be able to control the vast subject of time.
The baby monitor to my right whaled, and I ran up the stairs to check on Lizzy. She was still sleeping. Bad dream…
I walked to my room across the hall and sat on my bed, looking around at the familiar furniture. A CD player sat to the right, covered with dust. I walked over and turned the player on, listening intently. The rich music hit me with force. The melody was quiet and then sincerely sweet. It was the song he had made for me. I sighed, brushing the tears from my cheeks.
If Alice was right, by some fluke, I could actually bring Edward back. It was pathetic, but I couldn't help imagining him holding me now, singing the melody softly into my ear.
I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
A/N: Sort of slow, but it was necessary to make the transition to the next chapter.
Song: Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls
Summary: Some people were confused about the very beginning. Bella is sort of looking out her window and sees the sun. Since Edward has died she hates everything bright and cheery so she's basically moping. The whole September, October, November was saying that three months have passed when Bella is in Phoenix…Hope that clears everything up!
Sorry again about being WAY behind schedule…It's been like a month or more since I updated!
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