Authors Note: Tissue alert Tissue Alert

E POV

I never thought I would see this day.

When I think back to the way I thought my life would end up I always figured I would fall in love, have a fulfilling career and live to be an old man with gray hair living with the man of my dreams. Instead, here I am standing in a church saying goodbye to the love of my life. My father and Emmett stand on either side of me waiting for me to crack. The funeral was beautiful. Old friends and new friends stood in front of the packed church reliving memories of the fun loving sweet person Jasper was. I watched Jasper's parents grieve for their lost son. I watched my family grieve not only for Jasper but for me as well.

"I'm sorry Edward, He's gone" The doctor said to me as the respirator stopped breathing for Jasper. The tube was removed from his throat and the doctor left his parents and I in silence. I didn't cry, I didn't scream. I simply didn't move. It was like the world around me fell away and my body went numb. The only sign I was still alive was the thundering beat of my heart. In my vision I could see Jasper's mother crying over her son. His father was trying so hard not to cry his body was trembling. I heard nothing but my heartbeat. I think I stopped breathing because I could see Emmett standing in front of me trying to talk to me before everything went black.

I woke some hours later in a room full of people. My parents, Emmett and Rose, Jacob, Quil, Embry, Tim, Jasper's Assistant, and Jasper's parents were all there. Everyone was crying and holding each other. The pain that assaulted me was so acute I thought I was having a heart attack, but I could feel my heart still pounding in my chest. I came to the conclusion the pain was in my soul, or rather where my soul used to be. I watched my soul die right in front of my eyes. I felt the exact moment when Jasper left his body. When my body went numb, that was Jasper taking my soul with him because living or dead my soul had always and would always belong to him.

In a numb daze I watched Jasper's and my parents plan and carefully carry out Jasper's funeral. One particularly painful day came when my mother asked me for a picture to display at the funeral. I found myself wondering around my empty apartment seeing touches of Jasper everywhere. Pictures of us sat carefully on the mantel, the collection of DVD movies that Jasper collected, the ugly coffee table I always hated but Jasper just couldn't t live without. In the closet I found old college jerseys he wore for soccer. In the bathroom a towel still laid on the floor from the morning I left him to sleep in before work. I couldn't bring myself to pick it up. The king size bed that Jasper picked out sat empty because I couldn't bring myself to sleep in it alone. Emmett found me five hours later curled up on the floor of the bedroom wrapped in the blanket from the bed clutching Jasper's shoe I found in the middle of the floor. He pried the shoe from my hands and sat with me on the floor in silence until I fell asleep.

When it was my time to speak at the funeral I stood next to the casket. I laid both my hands palms down on the closed lid of the cherry wood casket. I decided instead of telling everyone what he meant to me I would talk directly to Jasper. My back was turned to the congregation as I began to speak.

"Jasper, I lived on this earth for 18 years without knowing you. When I met you I realized I hadn't really been living at all. When you became part of my life I felt like I was on top of the world, but your sweet serene nature always kept me grounded. Now that you're gone I feel lost"

My voice broke and I had to close my eyes. I could almost feel Jasper's hand on my shoulder telling me he was still with me.

"I gave you my soul long ago and I want you to take it with you. I want you to keep it safe for me, because no matter how dark my life will be from now on I know one day I will find you again. I want to imagine you in a place free of pain and judgment. A place where fear doesn't exist. I want you to smile and laugh and always know that I Love you."

My grief finally consumed me and I brought my hand up to cover my mouth as I began to sob. I leaned over and touched my forehead to the casket. "Please don't leave me" I whispered through my sobs. I felt a hand lightly touch my hair and then suddenly my father was pulling me into his arms. I felt like a kid again crying against my father's chest. My brother Emmett stepped up next to my father and helped lead me back to my seat. I hadn't cried since Jasper died because I was to numb and now I couldn't stop.

I don t remember the rest of the service and soon found myself standing next to Jasper's grave. The preacher was saying the prayer before Jasper's body was to be lowered into the ground. My mother held my right hand tightly, Jasper's mother held my left. The air around the mourners was still and the sun was shining bright. I closed my eyes and turned my face to the sky. I felt a gentle breeze ruffle my hair. It felt like Jasper was threading his fingers through my hair like he always loved to do. I knew he was with me and he was telling me goodbye.

One by one each person placed a red rose a top the casket as they departed. I stood alone beside the casket as I was the last person. In my hand was a brilliant blue rose. I sunk down to my knees beside the casket still holding the rose. I bowed my head and allowed the tears to fall. This was it. This was the end. No more gentle kisses in the morning. No more late night junk food runs just because. Nobody to hold me as I fall apart. No happy ending. The rose dropped to the ground as I brought my hands to cover my face.
Suddenly I felt someone touch my shoulder. I jumped to my feet startled and opened my eyes, except I wasn't in the cemetery. I was in a hospital room. I looked down and found Jasper's eyes open, and his hand reaching for me.

"Oh My God" I screamed

"Jasper, your alive"

End Note: So, Do you all wanna kill me now??? hehe. I was originaly going to do this chapter from Jasper's POV, but because I got so many reviews I decided to play a trick on all of you lol. seriously though Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for all the reviews. Oh and for those of you who are a little confused. The funeral was a dream. My brother read this and was confused so I figure I better put that in there. You guys rock.