Mara ran furiously to her chambers, disconcerting the storm troopers as she flew past them. L'wren trailing...
Finally reaching her apartments, she burst into sobs and fell to her knees on the floor. L'wren entered, and threw her arms around Mara protectively, 'What happened? Mistress what happened?" she shook her head unwilling to relive it.
L'wren soothed her as best and she could, and Mara finally blurted out, "What do you know about the force."
L'wren answered quietly, "very little." Mara sniffed and said, "well, Luke, Leia, Vader, Palpatine and myself are what is called force sensitive. And we can see and feel one anothers thoughts and feelings, unless that person has a block up. Which I always did..." she let out a shaky sigh, "I let it down tonight L'wren! I thought I could trust him, I wanted to let him in. I let him see everything!"
She broke down into sobs again, L'wren held her tightly and said, "Is that why you're so upset because you were so vulnerable before him?" Mara shook her head and said, 'no, well now yes! He wouldn't let me in! He wouldn't let me see him! I showed him how I truly felt for him, the feelings that I had been resisting so hard! And he showed me NOTHING!"
Tears poured down Mara's face...why? Why had she done that? She had completely lost herself in that moment and now she was humiliated. Not only did Luke not reciprocate her feelings, but he was surely laughing at her now! "Oh! I cannot believe that I did that, how could I be so naive? He isn't a sith for nothing..."
L'wren held onto Mara tightly petting her long hair soothingly, "I am so sorry my dear. I thought tonight would be a new start for you." Mara looked at L'wren with tears running down her face and said, "I thought so too...I dared to hope just for a moment. I wanted it to be Luke, I wanted just for a split second to be a family with him. But I was a fool...and now he knows everything. I trusted him, and he showed me how heartless he really is. Better that I know now...will you help me get out of this gown L'wren , I just want to take a long bath and go to bed."
L'wren nodded rising and said, "You know? They say that nothing happens without a good reason." Mara looked at her and said, "There was a good reason, to teach me that no one can be trusted. Especially not the Skywalkers."
L'wren paced, wringing her hands...what could she do to bring Mara comfort? She had drawn her bath and Mara had been in there for close to an hour. She would have done anything to ease this pain.
She was surprised at how furious she was at Lord Skywalker, how could he do this to Mara? She had been so ready trust, now L'wren wondered if she every would be again.
A small knock on the door startled L'wren from deep thought. She answered and Luke was standing just over the threshold. L'wren raised an eyebrow and said, 'Lord Skywalker." Luke asked, "Is Mara here?" L'wren wrestled with her thoughts for a moment and finally said, "Yes she is sir. But she is not available for guests." Luke strode past L'wren and said coldly and with no small amount of hostility, "I am not a mere guest I am her intended husband. You will fetch her for me immediately."
'What an ogre!' L'wren thought, 'why would she want to open up to him? He certainly doesn't seem worthy!'
L'wren walked into the luxuriant fresher and saw Mara had been crying again, she said to L'wren, "I'm just so humiliated and completely rejected! I cannot believe I allowed this to happen! I've never opened up so completely to anyone! I suppose this is what that buys you, confusion and pain."
L'wren raised her hand to silence her mistress and said, "Lord Skywalker is here, and he's demanding to speak with you." Mara half rose out of the water, "Demanding? Oh you must be kidding me, hand me my robe please L'wren. I'm going to take care of this right now."
Luke unfastened the heavy jeweled pin he had at his throat and set in on the low table in front of the chair he sat in. He had heard Mara vent openly to L'wren before the handmaiden stopped her. It was a confirmation of everything he guessed she was feeling. Distrustful, hurt and rejected by him.
Mara strode out of the bathroom wearing her black silk robe, her long hair was loose and waving down to her waist. Luke was startled by how her casual appearance affected him, he in passing wondered if there was anything under the robe...then pushed it aside. This was certainly no time to be thinking lustfully. He had a lot to make up for.
Beofre he could begin she lashed out, "You demanded to see me?" Luke rose, but again before he could begin she said between clenched teeth, "how DARE you! May I remind you that we are not yet married and that you do not have any rights at all to issue me orders of any kind!"
Luke remained calm, "I had to see you I had to speak with you. "
Mara was still furious, "It's too late to talk to me Skywalker!" Luke shook his head and said, 'I don't believe it. You're just standing on your hurt pride!" Mara fought the urge to grab her holdout blaster and blow a hole through his heart, same as he had done to her!
"My pride? I was not the prideful one tonight. You had that in spades." Luke took a deep breath to remain at ease, it was not a simple task. "Mara, I am sorry that I did not reciprocate your openness tonight. You have to understand-"
She cut him off, "Oh I understand completely. You're just a sith lord. And me? I'm the complete idiot who thought she could trust you. Thank you for proving me wrong, and now I get the unhappy task of being your wife. And I'm standing on my pride? That's the story of my life! What else have I got to stand on? The answer is nothing, everything I try to it gets pulled out from under me almost as if it was never there at all. You clarified that for me tonight." She glared at him hatefully and walked out of the room.
This was worse than he thought, she was opening up to him and to his way of life and he had ruined everything...
"No, I don't understand and yes I do want to hit you!" Leia screamed at her brother.
Luke had his head in his hands and said, 'Fine! Just hit me then! I know that I deserve it! I'm a kriffing moron!" Leia stared at him with her arms crossed over her chest wishing for the thousandth time that day that Han was here with her.
"How could you do this?" she asked, "She was ready Luke! I felt it she could have been one of us! She could have before you had to go be an idiot!"
Luke flared out, "I know that! Don't you think I felt that too? What other choice did I have Leia? I don't know if I could trust myself not to be completely open with her once I started! And then she would have known everything! It would have put all of us and her in danger! I wanted to open up to her, it nearly killed me trying to keep my shields up! But what else could I do? If she knew, we have no idea how she would handle it! She could run to Palpatine and tell him everything and then we're all as good as dead, and all of the suffering our parents, the Jedi, the rebellion and we have gone through would have been for nothing. The Empire would live on without any opposition and it would have been my fault!"
He put his head back into his hands and said, "If that's the price I have to pay Leia then that's it. I will do everything I can to repair this massive breach, but I cannot do that. I won't put anyone in danger because of me."
Leia looked away and said, "What will you do to try and repair this? I doubt she would even see you, or me for that matter." Luke nodded and said, 'I know, I have an idea. She won't like it, but she'll do it."
The next morning Luke knelt before the Emperor and said, "Your highest excellency, I would like your permission to train Mara Jade in the arts of the Sith."
The Emperor asked, "Why may I ask my young Lord?" Luke kept his eyes on the floor and said, "It seems a waste of her obvious talents to not have them be refined. She is as strong as steel, but without refinement she will never be a blade."
The Emperor nodded and said, 'Does Mara acquiesce to this request?" Luke answered, "I have not yet placed it before her. As she is under your bidding I sought permission from you first of course."
The Emperor smiled at Luke's flattery and said, "Indeed? I shall send her orders to meet with you every morning at dawn for training. Is that suitable?" Luke's elation was evident and he responded, 'Very much, Thank you Excellency."
Mara sneered at the written order...of course. She couldn't even be angry, it was too clever of him.
As if that weren't enough, holoimages of them at the ball where everywhere. She couldn't even look on the Holonet without seeing a picture of her and Luke looking at each other intensely.
They all had captions like "true love blossoms at Imperial Ball." and "Soon to be Mr and Mrs Skywalker share an romantic interlude."...figures.
The most humiliating moment of her life and it was documented for the entire world to see.
She threw the orders on the ground and walked away. L'wren picked them up and read them quickly, "oh dear...Mistress?" Mara nodded her hands on her hips, "Yeah, that's his subtlety of going the roundabout way to get me to talk to him."
L'wren thought for a moment and said, "Have you thought about that? Why does he care? If he is as heartless as you say he is, why would he bother with wanting to speak to you and explain?"
Mara looked outside at the bustle of the city and said evenly, 'It doesn't matter L'wren. I'm never going to that place again. If he wants to train me...fine. I'll enjoy my mornings learning to how to floor him. Sounds good enough for me."
L'wren wanted to tell Mara that if she didn't risk anything that she would never receive anything. But she kept her mouth shut, Mara had already given her risk and it had wounded her terribly.
If Lord Skywalker wanted to be worthy of her mistress, he was going to have to prove it.
The very next morning Mara was clad in her usual black jumpsuit walking to the sparring room. 'Great' she thought, 'a morning with sith one and sith two. Every kriffing morning...'
She opened the door to the sparring room just as the sun was rising over the building, bathing the room in warm light. Luke sat on the mat meditating. Vader was nowhere to be seen.
He had his dark shirt unfastened at the top revealing too much of his athletic chest and neck the affect was altogether far too distracting for Mara she sighed and said loudly, "Are you ready?"
Luke opened his eyes and said, "Yes, before we start-" she raised her hand to stop him and said rudely , "Are we going to train? Or not? Those are my orders."
Luke sighed and rose saying, "There are things in my past that I don't want you to see."
Mara could feel the spinning in her stomach begin again, but no...she wouldn't fall for this again. 'I don't care anymore. Get your lightsaber, lets do this."
Luke was amazed at how quickly Mara had improved, their speed rapidly increased until all the other could see were the sparkling blurs of the others lightsaber. Mara was in awe of what Luke could do with a lightsaber...it did nothing to hinder her attraction to him. He was faster than anything that she had ever seen. But she wouldn't let herself become distracted by her lustful thoughts. That was just a physical reaction anyway. Right now she just wanted to hurt him, her anger made her lethal.
Mara suddenly brought the lightsaber against Luke's body in fury, but at the last moment pulled back unconsciously refusing to harm him but she had singed a hole in Luke's loose tunic by doing so. . He jumped back and deactivated his saber, looking at his side surveying the damage.
Both were panting, exhausted from the workout. She saw the damage done to his shirt and said unconvincingly, "Sorry." Luke looked at her and said, "I liked this shirt. Oh well. No harm done, sorry to disappoint you." He lifted the black garment over his head and threw it to the side.
Mara's thoughts were suddenly a cavalcade of highly improper thoughts...'you've got to be kidding me' she thought.
It really didn't help that he was so attractive. She deactivated her own blade and asked, 'Are we done for today? I'm pretty tired. " Luke answered, "You're doing so well, do you really want to stop now?"
No, she didn't. She enjoyed fighting with the lightsaber more than she thought she ever would. Moreover she was improving so much so quickly that she wanted to continue.
But the vision of Luke shirtless, his strong muscular chest and arms revealed enticingly, the smell of his skin...being so close to her. Her thoughts were those of them together rolling on the mats in passionate embrace...
"Can't you just give me a remote or something?"
Luke smiled and said, "I can but it won't compare to what a I can teach you."
Mara sneered and said sarcastically, "You've taught my enough already. Thanks."
Luke frowned and said slightly losing his patience, "Can't I just get to know you? Is that so hard?"
She replied, "It is now."
He sighed and his hands on his narrow hips, Mara's thoughts went to the mats again...she cursed herself.
He walked towards her, she took a step back but he continued until he was close enough to her to hear her uneven breathing and said gently, "I need to know if you can be trusted. If I know that, then I will tell you everything. Let me get to know you, please Mara. I want to know who you are."
The words were honey soothing her broken heart...NO! Screamed her mind, just two days ago he showed you how much you could be trusted.
But...her fragile heart whispered...No! She sighed and said, "No. I don't believe that you can be trusted any more than I can. I don't believe that I could ever trust you." Luke answered curtly, "You did once."
Mara nodded and said, "yes I did. And look what that trust bought me?" She reached for the door and opened it, he grasped her hand tightly and refused to let it go, "You cannot escape from the truth." she finally succeeded in pulling her hand from his and said, 'I don't even know what the truth is anymore!"
She walked furiously down the hallway and back to the sanctuary of her apartments. She was determined to put the erotic thoughts out of her mind. No matter what it took.
It was a strange feeling for Mara to enjoy being so confined, but she would take the confinement over being congratulated over and over again as the lucky intended.
In fact, she resolved the next person to tell her how lucky she was, was getting vaped. No matter who it was.
"Father please!" Leia begged, it was so unbecoming of her to do so, but she like any daughter knew her father's weakness. Anakin sighed, he despised denying his daughter anything, just as he despised denying his wife anything...they were so alike.
"I believe that you and Luke are mistaken in this. Please trust my judgement. Not only have I been a force user for much longer but I have also been in the presence of Mara Jade longer."
Leia continued as Luke sat silently staring at the floor, "But father! You've never had any kind of open dialogue with her as Luke and I have. I truly believe that she can be trusted. I think she truly cares for Luke, and I believe she will come to care for all of us and our cause."
Anakin asked his son, "Do you believe she truly cares for you?" Luke looked at his father, his eyes red with lack of sleep and said wearily, "I believe she did."
Anakin raised an eyebrow, 'But no longer?" Luke shrugged, 'I don't really know, I haven't been able to get any read on her since the night of the ball. But yes, I saw it quite clearly in her mind that night. We shared those dreams Father, that must mean something. But I ruined everything...I should have trusted her."
Anakin sat next to his son and said, 'No Luke, you did the right thing. As much as you two want to trust Mara Jade the fact is that she is still Palpatine's agent. I won't see my children put in further danger. This could all be a clever way of getting one or both of you to expose any duplicity on out parts. "
Luke rose, he knew that his father was wrong. She had seen into the dark recesses of Mara's soul that night and he knew that there was so much more to her, more than he was even willing to admit to himself yet but there was no master plan there ordered from the Emperor.
She just felt that the Emperor had completely abandoned her, that she had spent her worth in his bidding and was now being passed on like a cheap showy bauble.
The Emperor had forgotten that while yes, Mara Jade was an assassin, she was also a person, a woman. He had expected her to follow the orders he had never given her. Orders she could never assume he would demand of her.
Luke knew that they would never get their father to budge on this, he was too deeply entrenched in the secrecy to let anyone in now.
He said rising to leave, "I'm going to try to get some sleep. The wedding is in two weeks. Force knows I'll need the strength for whatever kind of hateful punishment she is dreaming up for me then." Leia and Anakin watched him leave sadly.
Leia looked at her father and said, "I think he loves her. I felt it clearly." Anakin nodded and said, "you may be right Leia, there is definitely more there than he will share with us now. But we're too close now Leia. When the dust has settled and we are free, he will work it out."
Leia nodded, unsure of which side Mara would land on after the 'dust had settled' and all of the lies were exposed.