Chapter 5:Unbreaking

Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto

Happy birthday to Hinata! Dec 27

A/N: I found myself listening to a song several times whenever I write this story.

If you want to listen, although you don't need too, the song is Heavenfaced by The National if you were curious

Naruto bolted upright, his eyes wide open in absolute terror. He whimpered as his limbs shook uncontrollably. His breathing was rapid and his heart beating wildly. He sensed an unending sensation of doom. He searched his room-desperately looking for the pending threat. He felt sweat run down his face, but he dared not to wipe it from his brow. He felt like the closed door to his room might burst into pieces, revealing the danger, but it never came. He tried to ignore the feeling, but it kept running back.

He tried to take in his surroundings but everything seemed to have the potential to hide a creature. He looked outside his window to see if any welcoming sunlight was out. Complete darkness was all he seen. He met the eyes of a horrid beast, but when he blinked it had disappeared from his view. Paranoia crept into him, and swallowing nothing he stood up from his bed. He fully expected something to pull him under. When nothing happened, he turned on the light in his room and blocked the window.

His attempts did nothing to help him, as he still felt the awful feeling of dread. His visions from his nightmare still fresh in mind and kept resurfacing no matter how hard he pushed it down. He felt so alone. He crawled into a ball and felt the awful misery before he became a genin. The crushing loneliness. The Anger. The Hate. His thoughts spiraled down, threatening to pull him into the abyss. He hardly knew anything anymore.

Kurama watched his container writhe on the 'ground' below him, his mental form seemed to be one he recognized as him when he was a child. He saw his thoughts getting darker and darker. In his current mental state, Kurama was sure anything he could do would make it worse. As Naruto's mental form began crying, Kurama tried to come up with a way to help his teammate before he did something stupid. He had to come up with a subtle way to help him and to not reveal his presence.

'It's worth a shot' Kurama thought to himself. He came up with a few ideas-hopefully one of them would work. He shot an image of Iruka to him, No change. He shot an image of Jiraiya. It looked it didn't work. He sent in a image of his parents, and Naruto seemed to calm slightly. He sent phrase's of whatever he thought that would help. Minato's 'I believe in you completely'. Jiraiya's 'I'm glad I made you my student', were some of the examples- All had helped slightly, He sent in his mother's love, and Naruto seemed to be a lot better than before, but he wasn't out of the bag yet.

Kurama was a bit curious about the other ones, There wasn't a whole lot of his parents but there a bit more of these. He Injected the image of the hyuuga girl smiling at him. He watched with a curious eye as Naruto temporary stopped shaking before resuming. With an brow raised at his find, he quickly searched for anything that involved her and chucked it at him. Hand holding and all that stuff, After a few minutes, Naruto had grown back to his older mental self.

He was still suffering from the effects of his nightmare-as he huddled in a ball with his eyes down casted to the ground. Kurama sighed, He was able to free him from his self-pity. He had to be more careful next time. He couldn't risk another episode like that since Naruto could make it worse at any moment. He closed his eyes for another nap.

Naruto closed his eyes trying to catch sleep. He ignored his doubts and the phantom he felt looming over him. His limbs disobeyed his command as he tried not to shake. He felt the phantom looming over him as he felt like he tried to cut him open. Opening his eyes to see nothing, he sat back up from his bed. He breathed in deeply unsuccessfully trying to calm himself. He was worried, not just about him but about Hinata as well. 'She's okay...I know she's okay' He didn't actually know but he couldn't just run into the hyuuga compound.

He berated himself as he forgot who he was, 'I'm a friggin toad sage!' He yelled to himself. He tried to completely still, necessary to collect nature energy. His attempts were wasted as he couldn't stop shaking and his sprouting fear festered within. 'Think...Think...Think!" As his fear grew as he couldn't think of any alternatives. 'I have to make sure she's ok!' Resigning to breaking into the hyuuga compound.

As he went to find his jacket he remembered the shadow clone. Wasting no time or to berate him he created the familiar cross. He messed up a few times trying to mold the chakra to create a single shadow clone. A poof signified the arrival of one, luckily the clone seemed to not suffer the lasting effects of the nightmare. He quickly collected nature energy and a poof signaled his ceasing of existence. Naruto felt the power of sage mode coursing through him. He felt the chakra of all nearby entities, almost immediately he felt the familiar flare of hers.

Naruto let out the air he didn't know he'd been holding in. He opened his eyes to watch over his room. He ignored all other chakra and focused solely on hers. The feel of her chakra had a calming effect on him, but his feeling of paranoia still hung over him. Each time his sage chakra was close to running out, he immediately collected more from his clones. He didn't want to lose the feeling of her chakra. After an hour he noticed a slight change in her chakra, but he didn't sense any sort of danger to where she was, reluctantly he ignored it.

He watched over her carefully, like a hawk guarding it's nest. Making certain there was no danger near her. 'I'm supposed to be watching over her' as he continued scanning the hyuuga compound. Slowly overtime the feeling of danger Naruto had felt waned, A few hours had passed, his paranoia disappearing, and Naruto felt the coming rays of sunlight. He felt the sudden fatigue when sage mode was exhausted. Remembering what the day was, he dropped like brick from the exhaustion of after the many attempts going into sage mode. He hate today already and sleep quickly overtook him.

"Please Hinata...I...Just need to be alone for a moment" Naruto said her. They stood hidden from the public eye, She had joined him wordlessly and watched the ceremony together, up until a few moments ago. He didn't dare look into her eyes as she peered at him. She was the only one to have found him. He walked away, he couldn't bare seeing the caskets and hearing the names being listed, knowing one of them will never be there. No matter how much he wanted him to be.

"H-hai... I'll find you...when it finishes" She didn't hear a confirmation from him as he walked away from the ceremony. She didn't hear a refusal either. She looked worriedly at him as he walked away. Since the war had ended, he was suffering, she could easily see that. The certain spark in his eyes had completely left, The past few days were simply a imitation, a shadow of its former self. At times, for the past few days she saw flickers of the former fire his eyes held. The effect was only temporary. Nonetheless she would never rest until the fire was completely restored to its former glory. He was the only thing keeping her going.

Naruto avoided the pity filled eyes the citizens directed towards him, He looked down on the ground to avoid seeing their stares. He just needed to leave, He headed towards street with the least amount of people. The ceremony had been held in front of the Hokage mansion. He had kept out of sight of the others, hidden somewhere in the shadows of the buildings. Everyone had dressed accordingly, black clothes.

A war memorial would be built in the middle of the village for all the sacrifices that had occurred. He hardly remembered the entirety of his 'nightmare', a nightmare couldn't be compared to the he had. Broken pieces were all that was left behind. He clutched his head as a unwanted memory came.

Naruto looked into his eyes. Blood rang down the side of his face, Oynx eyes stared back at him. Accusing him. He coughed and blood spat out hitting his jacket. He heard as he struggled to form a sentence.

"You'll...fail...Like always" he whispered to Naruto, He stared back at him. He saw the pain filled eyes, and what felt like an eternity, saw as the light slowly left him. The now empty husk, slipped to side. He had just killed him. A person he considered family, a brother.

He took several deep breaths to calm himself from his sudden ragged breathing. He wanted to shake away the feeling, But it kept returning. Looking around to see where he was, he found that he was in front of the memorial stone. To distract himself, he looked upon the names inscribed on it, his eyes fell on a particular name.

Obito Uchiha

He looked upon the memorial stone, no new names were etched upon it yet, 'But... He will never be on it' He thought to himself. A pained expression formed on his face.

"Kakashi-sensei...Do you know?...What will happen to that name?" He asked. He didn't need to say the name. Kakashi's old teammate.

"I don't know...Naruto..." He replied hesitantly, He looked sadly at his student. Who was still facing the memorial, his back facing him.

"Would...Would I have turned like him?... If I didn't kill him that day?" Naruto asked. He held a choked sob that threatened to escape. Kakashi closed his eye in contemplation, He had failed as a sensei, and he couldn't even help his own students to ease the pain. He truthfully never recovered from his, and his old wounds had resurfaced during the war.

"...Do you want me to tell you the truth?" He replied lowly. Naruto nodded, afraid his voice would betray him. It had been eating at him since that day. He wanted to find out, even if it destroyed him inside. He looked back at his sensei, Kakashi saw his look, eyes that would detect any form of deceit. He didn't want pity or reassurance that he would never turn out like him. He wanted the truth.

"What I think Naruto...Is that you would have been worse than Sasuke was "Kakashi replied. He looked sadly upon his student, as hurt fill his student's eyes. Naruto looked back towards the memorial. 'Worse...Almost...I was almost like a monster'.

"But you're still here Naruto...You're still you" Kakashi said. Trying to reassure him.

"Yeah...I guess..."Hardly a whisper. Kakashi watched despairingly as his student walked off. How could he help? To tell him to move on would be hypocrisy at its finest. 'I couldn't even move on completely'. His eye rested upon Obito Uchiha, one that helped to cause so much pain in the world, with that thought he walked away from the memorial.

Hinata reached the top of the Hokage monument, it had taken her a while to locate Naruto. With the help of her byakugan she was able to locate him. She approached him from behind, he was sitting down in a crossed legged position. The sun had reached the final few hours of daylight. Reaching him she sat herself down beside him.

"Naruto-kun..."

"Please...Just go away" He whispered to her. Not looking towards her.

"No... You need to let it go" She whispered back.

"I said I'm fine Hinata!" Yelling at her. She flinched.

"Please let me help you Naruto-kun" She pleaded, He looked down, his eyes avoiding hers. A pained expression visible, she just didn't know when to give up.

"I'm-I'm fine..." He said desperately, She was breaking down to many walls for comfort. Her piercing eyes saw through everything, what she could see in him, it scared him.

"I-I want to help you...I can't keep my promise if you don't" She begged. A few tears flew down her face in her attempt, she saw a familiar torn expression on his face, She had never wanted to see it again. Naruto looked into her eyes, his last few wall broke down. "I...I'm just... I Just feel l-like there's... something missing in me " He cried out."I-I want...I want to help h-him to be remembered...But at the same time... I want curse him at his grave!"He yelled out. She looked at his sadly in his distressed state.

"I-I wanted to save him!... b-but I just cou-" A choked sob escaped from him.

"I saw it... I saw it in his eyes but I didn't want to kill him!...I-I d-don't know... I don't why I killed him... I really don't...and it's eating me from the inside... I just want to know why...How could I forget such a thing!" He cried out, tears flowing freely from him. She pulled him into a hug letting him know she was there for him. He sobbed harder, clutching onto her desperately.

Hinata let him weep, and felt her shoulder damp that he cried on. There was only one other time she'd seen him so lost. She forced back her own tears, she couldn't let him see it. He needed a pillar of strength, not a empathetic ear. She pulled him closer getting more comfortable, her hand on his brilliant hair, another on his back. She felt him hold more tightly in response, As he was afraid she might leave him. She gently rubbed his back to comfort him

Hinata noticed the dying rays of the fading sun, she didn't know how long they have been sitting above the monument, but it must have been quite a while since she remembered the sun being higher. She still held the person she loved in her arms, His breathing still run ragged, but he no longer cried.

"Le-Let's get you home" She said to him, she waited patiently for his response and she saw him nod faintly. Slowly they got up from their seating position, he had a depressed look on his face as he kept his eyes down casted. He looked utterly defeated and his eyes displayed a lost look with them . He desperately held on to her right hand, like if he let go she'd would leave him. She replaced her right hand with her left and wrapped free arm around his waist to lead him more comfortably, he seemed to relax a bit to the more intimate contact.

Walking side by side, she led him down the stone steps of the hokage monument. They traversed down and reached the bottom. As they began getting closer to the village, He began inching closer to her, as if to shield himself. Seeing him getting more uncomfortable, she decided to lead him through more secluded areas. Hinata, knowing that the people and children looked up to him decided to avoid anyone whatsoever, they didn't need to him like this. Luckily because of today's events the streets were mostly empty.

Using her byakugan, They did their best to avoid any meetings with any civilians. Naruto still carried a defeated look with him as they traversed through Konoha. He held onto her hand, feeling the softness of her skin. Feeling her hand made his chaotic thoughts die down. Those dangerous thoughts still lingered within, setting themselves at the edge, ready to invade when she left, he longed for more of her gentle touch to force them away.

They reached the complex where his apartment was located. Reaching his door, he reluctantly let go of a hand and quickly reached inside his pocket to retrieve his key and gave it to her. She unlocked the door to his apartment and stepped inside, leading Naruto with her. Any realization's that she was in his apartment didn't come for her. Hinata's only concern was for him at the moment, nothing else registered in her mind other than trying to soothe the person she loved.

She led him down the small hall, reaching the living room they sat themselves down on the love seat. They sat in a comfortable silence, waiting for the long day to end, Naruto nestled himself against her, his head resting on her shoulder. Hinata saw the time on the clock, she had to get back to the compound before 10. Except she didn't want to leave Naruto behind. She got up from her seat, only for Naruto tightly hold onto her hand.

"Please...I...I don't want to be alone..."He said quietly looking up at her. Hinata could hear the pleading in his voice. His eyes showing fear within them, he looked entirely vulnerable. She nodded, the thought of refusing him never crossed her mind. She sat back down, and Naruto breathed a sigh of relief, he didn't want those thoughts to come back.

"I'm here Naruto-kun..."

"...Thank you..." He replied.

Naruto looked at the small delicate hands entwined around his, Her pale skin seemed to glow in the moonlight that came through his living room window. She slept soundlessly as she leaned on his shoulder. He heard the quiet breathing from her, It seemed to have a calming effect on him seeing her in such a state. In a un-manner like Naruto, He gently stood up, carefully, making sure his movements wouldn't wake her.

Once free he picked her up bridal-style, and carried her to his room where she would be more comfortable. As he carried her Naruto couldn't help but think light she felt, The way her midnight hair dangled below as he carried her and how her petite form perfectly fit in his arms. He reached his room and carefully set her down. He put a blanket over her, he was glad she was sleeping, she looked like she hadn't slept at all last night. He grabbed a change of clothes to sleep in.

He walked out of the door to his room, There was no light on in his apartment, the only source of light was the bright moonlight flowing through his window. He'd have to thank her somehow, The dark thoughts that invaded his mind earlier had left. Still, there was the possibility that it would return, and he was glad she was nearby. After quickly changing he went back into the living room. He looked at the clock hung in the kitchen, it past midnight. He invaded his fridge to grab something to eat, as he realized he hadn't eaten at all today. He couldn't sleep at all, at least not until he filled himself with food.

The food he found would take too long prepare so settled on filling a pot full of water and put it over the stove, intent of preparing instant ramen for himself. A quiet knock filled his apartment as he waited for the water to boil. 'Who knocks after midnight?' As he went to answer the door, when he did he was surprised as to he saw.

"Shikamaru?" He was dressed in civilian clothing, with no signs that he'd been to a funeral.

"Hey Naruto...mind if I come in?"asking quietly. Shikamaru noticed he looked like crap, but he looked like he was recovering.

"Sure I guess" Opening the door so he could come in, Naruto saw that he held a few things in his right hand. A scroll and a some sort of board along with a small bag he assumed held pieces for it.

"Thanks...I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd check up on you" The lazy genius said. He hadn't seen him at all today."You and Hinata weren't at the burial for...our good friend" He continued, walking down the hall. He looked towards a open door on the left, passing through he saw a form sleeping on the bed with midnight hair. 'So this is where Hinata was' continuing to the living room.

"Yeah...Sorry for that..." Naruto looked away, He was ashamed that he missed the burials for his comrades.

"Don't worry about Naruto...Just give your respect to them in your own way" He said reassuringly, they met their gazes and he got a confirming nod from him. Satisfied, He put the stuff he brought with him on the coffee table and sat down on one the couches.

"As for why I'm here" He sat the board down, setting the pieces in place."Lady Hokage wanted me to hand some stuff to you..." He mentioned to the scroll on the table. "Just don't open it right now" seeing him grab the scroll.

Naruto inspected what it was. It was a sealing scroll, Naruto placed it back on the table, he didn't want to think about what was inside. "Sure no problem" He reassured Shikamaru.

"Anyways...I'll forgive you for missing my dad's burial if you play a match of shogi with me" Shikamaru suggested. He saw a small flicker of shame before nodding.

"Sure" Naruto agreed. He walked into the kitchen, He'd almost forgotten about his now boiling water."Want some ramen?" He asked, He heard his reply and picked up two ramen cups and 2 pairs of chopsticks. He unsealed the ramen cups and emptied the water into it. He walked back to where Shikmaru was and settled down their food on the coffee table. Naruto sat down opposite side of him. He watched as he finished setting the pieces.

"So how do you play this?" Naruto asked. Shikmaru carefully explained the rules in simple terms that Naruto could understand. Naruto hardly understood most of it, but did his best to attempt to.

"So...This is the king" He asked, pointing towards a piece with the kanji for king. Shikamaru nodded. "So I have to protect him and if he gets killed I lose?" he nodded once again. "Ok...so if I take yours out I win?"

"Yeah... that's pretty much it...and all different sets of pieces have unique moves" Shikmaru said. He saw a confused look on his face, He sighed a bit quietly 'I thought I explained this simply so he could understand' He smirked. "Let's play a practice game...and I'll correct you whenever you make a mistake" He suggested.

"Yeah, alright let's do it" He could understand it better if he saw it in play. Naruto picked up his ramen and began eating, Shikamaru took his time explaining while they ate their ramen. He showed examples of moving the pieces, he showed basic strategies that went over his head. They played two practice games, After many mistakes and more explaining, Naruto finally understood how most of the game works.

"It's look like you got the hang of it" Shikamaru added, It took a lot more time than he thought it would, but a potential new partner who didn't let him win was worth the time. "Let's play a real game...so I'll be going all out this time"

"Alright, let's play" Naruto said. Shikamaru saw a spark of excitement in him, he smirked at this. Even he was getting a bit excited at new player to play against, even if he was a rookie. "Want more ramen?" He asked. Shikamaru nodded, and he went to the kitchen. He remembered tha the hadn't eaten at all today, but after seeing Naruto his appetite returned. 'Besides... the ramen actually tastes good' He confessed to himself. Although he hoped he wouldn't develop a obsession with it.

He returned with another round of ramen cups, and while they waited for the ramen to cook, they started their game. Shikmaru was surprised at the 'strategies' he used, he did completely random moves, Nearly all his predictions that Shikamaru made were false, forcing him to slightly change his strategies nearly every move. It was almost frustrating for him, as Naruto took out one of his bishops. If he didn't already know Naruto, he might have thought he was playing against an experienced opponent. 'Except any level headed person wouldn't make any of those moves' .

A relaxed atmosphere filled the air, the game was halfway done, both were engrossed in their game as told by their warm forgotten ramen. Shikamaru had nearly forgotten what he sought out to do, He only remembered when Naruto made his next move.

"Climbing silver huh?" Shikamaru remarked, He closed his eyes as he remembered Asuma explaining the move to him.

"Huh?" Naruto said, confused at what he said. Shikamaru smirked 'Of course he doesn't know it'.

"It's a move when you sacrifice a piece to break your opponents formation" He explained. Naruto merely nodded. They continued playing for a few moves.

"Asuma explained that to me once..." He started. Naruto brought his attention to him, listening intently as he never really brought him up. "He also explained to me how the village was like a game shogi..."

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked. 'How is it like the village?', as he looked down at the board. Shikamaru seen his curiosity and continued explaining.

"He said that us ninja, are responsible for protecting the king...Do you know what the king is?"Shikamaru asked, making another move. He was entirely curious about his answer. Naruto heard his question, and he looked down at the board once again. 'It makes sense I guess...but... what if I was hokage?...' Naruto made a quick move before replying.

"Is it the village?"He asked, a bit unsure about the answer. Shikamaru was a bit stunned by his response. 'He sure does deserve to be hokage' he thought, making another move.

"Much closer than when I first answered...Asuma said that the king was the children of the village...It's our duty to protect the future of the village, and those are the kids" Shikamaru finished.

"Oh I get it" Naruto replied, Naruto was filled with doubt. 'Would I be able to protect them?' He dared not voice them. He made another move, and Shikmaru was forced to make in his famous thinking hand sign. 'Second time now' He was a bit surprised at Naruto's unpredictability.

"I've seen the way you are Naruto... Since it ended" Shikamaru uttered quietly. Naruto looked up, and they shared glances. If he was surprised, Naruto didn't show it.

"You too huh?" He replied lowly, they still continued the game. The game was reaching its climax.

"I'm sure people close to you can see it...But I'm sure they don't want too" He added. The mood shifted from a relaxed air to a tense one. " So why continue the way you are now...Why hide behind this facade of yours?" He asked curiously. He knew how he was treated before he became a ninja, he'd had practice hiding himself. Naruto's eyes were downcasted.

"It's what my father said to me that day..." Naruto replied. His voice low, but from the deathly silence that filled the night and room it sounded clear as day. Shikamaru turned his attention from the game to him. Naruto explained the events to him on that night.

Naruto stared up at his father, his edo tensei eyes looked back at him. Naruto remembered that he will probably will never him again. He was going to be alone once more.

Minato stared into the destroyed eyes of his son. He had a few things to say to before he left. "I'm sure you know I have to leave now, I don't belong here anymore...and I want to join your mother" He said sadly to his only son. Naruto looked up at him, tears he wanted to shed didn't want to come.

"I'll miss you...dad" He replied sadly, Minato brought himself down to his face to look eye to eye.

"I Love you son...I know It hurts, but you can't recover alone. Don't close yourself from others because with your friends...they can help you through the pain you're feeling..."

Naruto closed his eyes as he listened to his father's last words, The pain was he felt was nearly unbearable.

"That's what he said to me...I see people's eyes when they look at me...They look me with such hope, so I just hide them away so they don't see it" He replied to him.

"That's all he said to you?" Shikamaru asked. He didn't show his disbelief to him. He saw him nod at his question. The genius thought there would be bit more that he would've said to him something much more personal. Shikamaru looked at the clock, it was almost two. His drowsiness was somehow returning, he didn't feel like sleeping over. As Hinata was in the other room, he didn't belong here at the moment. He looked down at the board, he had won the game. Nearly all of Naruto's pieces were defeated. He had him in a checkmate.

"Guess I'll be going then" He said to him, he gathered up the pieces quickly. He picked up a king piece, before putting it back on the coffee table. He picked up the shogi board and headed towards the door. "See you later..." As he closed the door and greeted the cool air of the night. He couldn't set out what he wanted to do, he doubted he could really get him back to normal.

Naruto sat on the couch after turning off the lamp, He was tired now, he looked on the table and saw his cold ramen and a shogi piece with the kanji 'king'. He ignored it but another itch in him began at Shikamaru's words. like earlier today, he was presented with another missing piece of a puzzle. He tried to ignore it and lied back on the couch. He needed too, or else those blackened thoughts would return. He wondered how long he had been lying down, he was exhausted but sleep didn't want to come. He started breathing heavily, and those dark thoughts danced around the edges. Desperately he tried to ignore but it seemed futile as his safe haven began to fade. A scream disrupted him. 'Hinata'

In a flash, he was standing in his room in tailed beast chakra mode, His fiery-like cloak lit up the room, with colors of orange and yellow. His chakra spiked in anger as quickly looked around for any possible intruder, He looked towards the sealed window to see if it had been broken, it wasn't. Remembering that he could feel negative emotions, he quickly searched around for any nearby but he didn't. Before he could ask what was wrong, he felt something soft slam into him encasing him in a warm hug.

"Naruto!" She cried in relief. Relieved that he was still here, alive. At his realization that she had a nightmare, he turned off his cloak and returned her warm embrace.

"I'm here Hinata...I'm right here" He rubbed her back affectionately, She continued to cry on his chest, and he felt his shirt wet from her tears. Gently, he picked her up while she continued to sob. He carried her over to his bed and sat down. With his back against the wall for support he cradled her while she cried.

"P-Please don't le-leave me" She pleaded, hugging him tighter. He hesitated, "Please..." She said more quietly.

"I won't...I won't" He promised to her.

A/N: Sad right? At least I hope I made you feel that way. I'll make it up for you I promise.

Also Naruto was suffering from something called a night terror nothing like nightmare, If you ever had them. You know it's horrible.

Reviews help me write better and make me want to put out chapters faster.