DISclaimer:I dont owe..naruto yupp

Claimer:Craziness in these stroy.plots.stupidity.humor.are mine.

now...if you guys don't know...maybe you guys were too busy paying attention to Temari and Shika...well...at least this one reviewer dare asked me about it

Well...I would answer your question but that would ruin the other chapters of twisted idiocy. But thank you,for asking I REALLY was glad,you've asked. since i was being delusional for a moment in time about it.

It shall be revealed later on. Depending and how long this story takes.

Enter The Unpredictable

Shikamaru had left the date as soon as possible. What would be a predictable guess for everyone is,he just wanted to leave because he's lazy and couldn't handle anymore troublesome situation.

If that was the prediction they made,and they bet their lives on it. I guess they would have died. Because Shikamaru Nara,left only to do his job,which deals with assasination and a double life. He waited in the top of the building for Kurenai. He was wearing all black now. Black jacket,black pants,black man boots. He even over did it with painting all over his face.

Kurenai was suppose to meet him there because they have to discuss this mission. A mission to hunt and kill Kakashi Hatake as soon as possible. The problem with this,no one knows how he looks. So they decided to meet up to try think of a plan to make Hataka just reveal himself to them.

There was a noise. Gun shots. Some yells of terror and pain. What's going on? Someone is being killed? Where's Kurenai? Is she alright? Damn woman!

He squinted his eyes trying to see what the hell was jumping from building to building. Coming closer to him. He just stands there watching. Suddenly he was shot. He was falling down thanks to the force of the shot.

He closed his eyes. Sure,he would think later he's going to die if he doesn't try to protect himself from the attacker. But the stupid thing is,Shikamaru thought of Temari,the troublesome woman. His life was flashing through his eyes but why is it stuck in that one motion,of the evil woman. Now hell he won't let himself die with her being stuck in his mind. He just met her.

Quickly he regain his footing and was on his foot again. He clutched his injury from the shot which only hit him on his left shoulders but it was deep enough to make him feel the pain. So he's not going to die. He thank,whoever watching over him to let him live but make him suffer from the pain. He always have a sarcastic way on dealing death. He was being targeted by this person. Who is a good twenty feet away from him.

And quickly coming close. Shikamaru stared in amazement as the person quickly runs toward him 20,15,10,5 ft. The thing is,he would have been shooting at this person who is trying to murder him. But he doesn't have a gun at the moment. It was a meeting not really a mission to do. He should have known better and should have been prepared. He's swearing at himself silently in his head.

For a genius you sure have no damn common sense at the moment Shikamaru.

The attacker stopped.Eyed Shikamaru. Observed him.

"You're just a brat. Can't they improve on their job?" It was a man voice. He sounded lazy. Shikamaru didn't like this one bit,hell a lazy guy is killing another lazy fellow.

Shikamaru didn't answered. He knew it was a rhetorical question. Where's Kurenai? Argh! Now his male ego is kicking in. If Kurenai comes and saves him,that's pathetic. He didn't even try.

Shikamaru quickly took a good look at him. He wore a metal gear around his upper body which had blood all over it. He wore a gray pants,similar to Shikamaru. The style is,it's suppose to be comfortable and baggy enough so you can kick ass with it. He didn't wear much except for the mask on his eyes that only reveals one of his eyes. He had silvery hair. Who has silvery white hair? He must be old? Doesn't sound old. Doesn't move old. Okay he must be taking steroids,Shikamaru thought for awhile.

"So kid what are you doing in this neighborhood?" He said lazily. He sat himself on the edge of the building.

Shikamaru thought it wouldn't help delaying his death. So he better talk and act interested.

"Waiting for a woman." He sounded energetic. Except his face wore a lazy expression. He thought honesty is the best policy he wasn't lying.

"Really? Is she hot? Your girlfriend?" Suddenly an Icha Icha Book appeared on his hand. He opened it.

"Yes.Yes.No." Shikamaru replied. "Can I sit down while I wait for the woman? 'Cause it doesn't help much when I'm standing and bleeding to death."

The attacker nodded. So Shikamaru sat himself down on the dirty floor top way up in the building. It was freezing too,since the wind was so strong. He wrinkled his nose at the stench of blood. His own blood.

"So you like Icha Icha books?" Shikamaru asked. As the man reverted his eyes on the book and read some how you can tell,even though hidden,he was entertained by the book. It was obvious he does.

"My friend...Grandpa...is the author of that book. He and I even had a good look at the next series for it." He smiled genuinely. He would bargain with this man.

The bargain is...

- Take me to the hospital before I run out of blood and then I'll give you the next series- Of course,he would be associating with the enemy. But oh well,one must know how to survive and do whatever it takes to do so.

"Really now? You are thinking of a deal to make,brat?"

"Yup. Take me to the hospital,I really need to go badly." He said it like he wanted to go pee instead of trying to save his life. Which made the attacker laughed a bit.

"I cannot do that. If I do...Your girl friend would be disappointed tha you're not here waiting for her,like a man should do." He lied. He just can't do it,he was ordered to show no mercy yet here he was,never killed the boy yet. Just sat there awaiting for his death to come soon. Sometimes he hates this job.

"Not my girlfriend. And c'mon please. I'm dying. I still need to bitch at this girl I met today." Shikamaru grumbled on. He would hit himself if he wasn't in so much pain. Because he's still thinking of Temari.

"You're dying slowly boy and you think of this girl? Well she must be one special girl to make you want to bitch..." Shikamaru frowned. Like he didn't realize that. It sucks more that it was being pointed while he's dying. What is his mother going to say when she finds out her only child is dead? She'll probably kill someone. She would have killed me if I would be alive again for her to kill. Wait,I'm not dead yet! Stop talking nonsense Shikamaru.

"Ya. Well..she's troublesome.So...what's your name and why were you in a killing spree?" Shikamaru asked. He doubt he'll answer it. But it was worth a try. But if I'm dying...how am I going to tell them my information? Well,this is kind of stupid. Who the hell put me in this predicament!?

"Kakashi Hatake and it's not a killing spree kid. It's my job." Shikamaru was wide eyed now. NO WAY! if this was Kakashi he must be stupid to admit it. Or maybe...it's just a trick?

It was his job? And it's their job to kill him too. So he wouldn't surely be yelling at this guy for shooting him. Hell he'll shoot at him too if he had a gun. But he didn't,sadly.

"Yeah...I find it funny Kurenai isn't here yet. Have you killed her already...?" Shikamaru was losing patient oh,did he forget to mention blood and time of living?? He hoped Kurenai wasn't dead.

If she died he'll be yelled at Asuma saying 'What kinda man are you not sacrificing your own life for her!?' Give me a break,I'm the one dying,he thought. He gulped. He really hopes not. He doesn't want his best friend blonde hyper active boy named Naruto losing another person close to him.

Kakashi frowned at the thought. As if he can possibly kill people. What a lame suggestion. What makes that brat think of that? Oh yeah the blood and shooting him does...oo..

"No. But I think I did knocked her out. Is she the hot chick with the crimson red eyes? She wears red alot or so I spied enough to know." Kakashi shrugged. Shikamaru looked at him.

Spied a woman? A hot chick? A guy who loves to read porn books? Oh yeah this guy is a pervert acting innocent.

Shikamaru nodded. His vision starting to blur.

"Kid-Kid hey hey!!" Kakashi went towards him trying to shake him. He can't believe he was stupid enough to actually wait for the kid to die. He's just a kid! and he offered him the Icha Icha Book!

Shikamaru wanted to make him stop. Shout at him. Stop shaking me. Can't you see I'm in pain. Wait...I don't feel the pain anymore. The hell? I'm cured?

Suddenly he feels really dizzy. The world is spinning? Wait...That Kakashi guy he's shrinking. It's getting darker. What's going on? Is this a trick? One of his game? It's not funny.

"Kid Kid Open your eyes" He could hear Kakashi yelling at him to open. But he seems to far away. Miles away. Wasn't he just shaking him not too long ago?

Open your eyes Shikamaru. Open them! They are open. They are! Why is it dark? Hello? Anyone? Please someone answer me. This place. There's no clouds. I'm nuts.

It feels so cold now. Can't even see my own body. Damn Damn Damn. Troublesome

Shikamaru-fight to survive-be motivated enough to live-

Kakashi couldn't help it. He took the kid and carried him. Carried him where? I don't know to his boss.

He ringed the bell. He would receive some death glares from his boss. But he couldn't help it. It's just a kid for crying out loud surely they would take pity.

A browned haired guy appeared. Wearing black clothes and some face paint.

"The hell Kakashi! What's with the garbage? Get rid of the body. Dude don't you know the rules?" Kankurou barked at him. Of course anyone would be piss to be deliving a teenage kid to their door step close to dying

"Sorry but the kid is dying. He's just a kid." Kakashi was trying hard to persuade him. He knew this wouldn't do. Because Kankurou wouldn't give in.

"Like I give a damn fuck. You see Kakashi,our business deals with killing. And he happens to be one of our enemies! Do you not get that?" Kankurou shouted. He was about to closed the damn door except someone stopped him.

"Kankurou stop shouting already. You woke me up Bastard." Temari came. Stared at the bloody teenager that's Kakashi is carrying.

"FUCK! GET HIM IN! KANKUROU CALL OUR DOCTORS YOU IDIOT!" Temari yelled her lungs out at her brother.

"But wh-

"NOW YOU FUCKING BASTARD."

Pulse.Pulse.Pulse.

Find the beat. Where is the beat. Lost. Listen close. Can't you hear. It's just weak.It's coming back. It's getting stronger. Just wait. Be patient.

The first thing I see after death...A blonde Angel?

-Flashy Back-

"Gaara Gaara!" Kankurou yelled while crashing the door to Gaara's office. Yes an office in a mansion,goodie.


Gaara raised his invisible eyebrows since he doesn't have,since I said Kankurou shaved it off. He looks pissed being disturb and all.

"What is it now Kankurou?" He asked in a monotone voice. Weird. If a computer has his voice,you wouldn't mind listening to it.

"Temari gone nuts! She beated the shit out of me 'cause I happen to almost kill this guy because I refused to go call a doctor and all. He's one of the enemy!" Kankurou explained. He had a black eyes now.

"Weird. Surely Temari hadn't forgotten how are family business go." Gaara said in a curious voice but his expression was still deadly.

"She knows! For pete sake! She's the one who always look after us when we get ourselves into deep shit. And.." Kankurou stopped as Temari camed in glaring daggers at Kankurou,figuritively.

"Temari,explain yourself"

"Well...Hinata's friend. Well He is Hinata's fiancee's friend. So I don't see why I have to see him all bloody and dying." Temari tried to explain. She knew her brothers wouldn't take this for an answer.

It doesn't matter to them who's friends is who. Because they don't know the guy and they could careless about their attachment with the person. They would just let Shikamaru die.

"Did he survived?" Gaara asked. Not caring for the explanation.

"Yes!" Temari answered immediately happy that his brother won't do anything further.

"Alright then...Kill him. Since the first attempt didn't work." Gaara said more coldly. Temari couldn't believe it. Damn brothers of hers.

"No you can't!" Temari shouted. She didn't even know why she's trying so hard to save Shikamaru's life,when not too long ago she wanted to murder him.

"HE CAN AND HE WILL TEMARI!" Kankurou barked. Smiling evilly. See what happens when you're in a killing business. You just don't know when to draw the line and stop.

"You can't...because..because...I love him!" Temari said,okay it sounded more dramatic in her head. But hey,you can't blame her she never did say I love you. She needs to rehearse it more to make it believable.

"What!?" Kankurou now was open mouthed. If his jaw wasn't attach it would have drop to the floor,seriously.

"Yeah...Sorry bout your bruises bro but...I can't help it...you almost killed the guy I treasured and love and...and..." Temari was getting sick at this. She will so be name the worst actres ever.

"You're lying." Gaara concluded. He was almost close to believing it because it sounded so corny,it must be true,but Temari's facial expression and voice didn't seem real.

Temari sighed.

"Alright. He's my sex slave. And I want him. Geez,a woman needs her pleasure. And I swear to bloody hell if you touch my sex slave again I will kill you both. Unless...you guys wanna pleasure your own sister."

She suggested,of course she was joking. She only did that to make them feel weird so they have to agree. They did because she said it in a very seductive way.

Kankurou and Gaara looked at her,trying to process what the hell she said. This was totally out of character for Temari..Isn't it? Maybe she was in love? Gaara thought. Shooked his head. Sighed. Shivered.

This was unexpected. This was unpredictable.

"Can't we just get you a new sex slave? I'm sure there's far much better attractive slaves than him." Kankurou persisted. Temari gave him a death glare.

"No,I want him. He knows what I like.Where I like it. When I like it." Temari stated simply. Now the two brothers have some poluted images in their head. Shame on them. They blushed at this. Temari notcied.

"Perverts."

"You're not?" Gaara asked.

"Like hell don't pretend to be innocent you ain't. You have a sex slave,Temari." Kankurou shot back.

"Yeah,you sure beat Kankurou on that." Gaara stated with a smirk.

Temari didn't know what else to say. They got her there. But hell she didn't even do anything with him! Exactly so she must be more pure than Kankurou. She doesn't want to think about Gaara's sex life.

It's probably...

"So you'll let him live?" Temari asked. Trying to not be in the poluted state.

"Yes."

She hugged the two,only because she likes the way they look at her when they didn't expect the things she says and does. It's worth it. Maybe even some pictures would be nice. Sell it on the internet. Make lots $


She left her brothers.

"Do you believe her Gaara?"

"Not at all,but oh well"

"What do we do to the kid?"

"Dispose of him later-Let Temari have her fun"

"So we'll actually kill him?"

"We have to,If we let him live,we're risking practically everything"

"That means he can't even leave this place"

"Yes"

"I doubt he'll find it great to stay here"

"Temari will keep him company"

"She's going to kill us when we kill him"

"She's not attach"

"How can you tell?"

"She would have strangled me to death and you'll already be dead"

"EH! You're right! She was faking it huh?"

"Perhaps"

End of Flash Back

Shikamaru slowly getting his feelings back. He can slowly open his eyes. He felt his whole body resting on a soft comfortable bed. A sheet covering half way. He wasn't wearing his bloody clothes. In fact he wasn't wearing a shirt at all. He wondered if he was wearing anything below the waist. But was afraid to look. The hell I was close to death and now I'm frightened of my own body? It can't be that repulsive can it?

He sees a blonde. She looks beautiful. The way the light hit hair face. She looks so angelic. She's smiling at him,with those teal eyes. Ahh,they make him relax.

Is this heaven? No it can't be,because I've just stated reality not too long ago. Maybe he's delusional.

"Finally,you're awake"

That voice. He remember that voice. It belongs to a certain troublesome woman. Except her voice was softer now.

He opened his eyes fully. He was right. It was Temari staring at him. She's sitting down on the end of the bed. He looked around. It seems like...Is this her room?

Her room was feminine,Yet is seems to hold some indimidation.

The Daggers and different kind of swords hangs on the walls,sure do intimidate others.

Wait. Now he fully remembered. He was...close to dying. This didn't make sense. How did he end up in Temari's room? How? Where's the Kakashi guy?

He stared at Temari. Analyzing everything that had just happened.

He has a conclusion.

Temari works with Kakashi,they are Shikamaru's enemies,which means they either have to be killed or he gets killed. Now this was troublesome.

But he's alive. They let him live? Kakashi saved him? Why?

"Hey idiot are you okay?" She stared back at him.

"Damn" Shikamaru let that one word out. He should get out of here as soon as possible.

"What are you damning now?" She frowned. Now she's expecting troublesome coming out of his mouth.

"Damn. For a second there I thought I was dead. I thought you were some blonde angel. But I thought wrong. Since I'm alive and you're so far from being an angel and...thank you."

"Thank you for what?" Okay. Sure there wasn't troublesome but there sure was insults. This guy is totally predictable,she thought.

"For taking me in and well from the looks of it...some one took good care of my body." Temari blushed. Now an image of Shikamaru naked popped in her head.

She had refused for her other helpers to undress and dress him. She did it herself,she thought it was more suitable since she knew Shikamaru better than anyone here at the mansion.

Or maybe that was her excuse to just see. It wasn't a bad sight at all. She very much enjoyed it. Well she didn't linger to touch. She just did what she was suppose to do. Especially when her helpers refused to leave her until they made sure she did it properly. Which she finds stupid because she's not helpless.

"Yeah. Sure. You're welcome." Or maybe I should thank him rather than say welcome. She avoided his looks. She now looked out the window. There wasn't much to see.

There place was like close to a middle of no where,well not really,just looks like it. it looks deserted but it's just well hidden. Hyuuga knew the place because they are one of their allies. That's why she's friends with Hinata Hyuuga. And it doesn't hurt that Gaara goes to the same school as her.

"Alright. Can I have like a shirt? Because I really really need to go." Shikamaru said in a rush. He was rushing to get out of here. Temari figures.

"What's the rush?" Shikamaru sat up only to be pushed down by Temari,strongly yet gently. Shikamaru was suprised by her touch. He was expecting something rough and brutal.

"If you didn't know...well..." Shikamaru really didn't want to explain. He always finds it troublesome to explain his job. And what his jobs always cause him.

"You're an enemy? You might be killed if you stay any longer?" Temari offered this. He nodded.

"It's fine. My brothers won't kill you. And you have to promise me not to say a word to anyone." Temari explained,her hand,which was the one that pushed Shikamaru,was still resting on his chest.

Shikamaru blinked. Temari blinked. He waited for the hand to move. Move hand,Move. It didn't.

"I really can't trust you with that. Your brothers...workers whatever had already shot me and waited for me to bleed to death." He has a point with that. Temari frowned.

"Just trust me. I promise. Promise you won't be killed." Temari sounded serious. Shikamaru thought for a moment. It wouldn't hurt to trust her. No it wouldn't. It can just possibly lead to death. No big deal.

He sighed. "Alright"

"So do you promise not to say anything to your people?" Shikamaru chuckled. His people? Yeah his people- Myself,me and I. What a crowd.

"Yes.Promise." He sighed. He took his right hand and held Temari. Temari watched. He moved it away from his chest and then let go. She was kind of sad. His hand felt warm. His chest were...comfortable to lay a hands on.

"Anyways. That's your job huh? Assasination groupies. I would have never suspected that. you're like over eighteen right?" Temari inquired thinking this was the best time to get to know him more. Since the lazy ass she met was just a part of him.

"Actually I'm fifteen." Temari stared. She went out with a 15 years old when she's 18? Someone must be pulling her chain. She argued with a...kid!!! Damn. Now she feels immature.Now she feels weird for feeling short live physical attraction towards him. Damn. She glared at him.

"I see. I heard from Naruto you like blondes." She teased.

"Really? I never dated blondes." Shikamaru replied. Temari damned Naruto.

"What about the Ino-chick?" Temari asked.

"A friend of mine. Sasuke fan girl. I dislike those kinda girls." Shikamaru informed her.

"So you hate blondes?" Why is this woman keep asking about blondes!?

"No I just don't prefer troublesome women. A good example would be you." Shikamaru answered now finally settling into a lazy state.

"Wrong" Temari answered coldy.

"How are you not a good example of troublesome?" Shikamaru asked.

"Because...I'm a great example of a troublesome woman." While she was talking she was getting closer and closer to Shikamaru's face. Until her lips and his met. She pressed her lips hard against his.

She parted a little and then licked his lips. She smiled evilly. And left the room. Without even saying anything that would at least make Shikamaru talk.

No. She just left Shikamaru there. All alone. With thoughts of what just happened. Thoughts that would make him think of billion others. Though a nice or bad thought comes to mind.

He agrees with Temari.

She is a great example for a troublesome woman.

Authors Note:

-expects to be killed by the readers- o.o

UH huh I bet none of you expected that! You didn't expect anything bad huh? Yup. Me too. Except I have this sudden urge to torture Shikamaru first.

Because I really don't want too much romance,my bro said too much in love can be bad. So I said okay whatever,I was already thinking of some happenings.

Announcement! I really love my reviewers(even though I don't know you guys) and im sorry you fell of your chair while reading my fanfiction...use master glue nxt time. lol just playing.

Yay! Finally this chapter ends! What you think!? Seriously I was thinking this fanfic would be short...

oh and...the last part...the kissing scene and all thank my bro and his crush for that. lol they did something similar to it. With the promises and the teasing and the kissing. and leaving the guy to rot in his thoughts. haha

Yes I apparently love you all since I have enough energy to update everyday. Except to be truthfully i could have done it earlier...except...i was being lazy...err...