The sounds of the monitors brought them all out of their thoughts, the heart monitor was beeping loudly, Tony's body was stiffening, something was happening, something bad was occurring, their friend was in trouble.
"Tony!' Abby cried out, "Somebody help him!" Tim was at her side, removing her from the nurse's path.
"I need everybody out, now!" the nurse commanded, wanting to attend to her distressed patient.
Gibbs stood and moved them towards the door, he, himself staying behind, but out of the way.
Dr Pitt was entering the room followed by Dr Mallard, they quickly threw on a gown and mask, placing their gloves on as they entered the isolation room, their patient, Ducky's friend, was in trouble.
The monitor was still screaming, the loud hissing of the ventilator assisting in filling the room with horrible sounds, Dr Pitt reached over and flipped off the alarms on the monitors, he needed to see what was causing his patient such distress, he needed to be able to concentrate.
"Tony, hang in there, we're working on the problem." he kept his voice even, wanting his patient not to panic, not wanting the staff that was arriving to panic.
"I think he might have a mucus plug but I've tried saline down his tube and deep suctioning, nothing is working." the nurse explained as she continued to assist the physician.
"His sats are falling, I need to bronch him now, get the fiberoptic scope!" Dr Pitt ordered as he pulled off the top of the bed to be able to reach Tony's airway better, still noting how Tony was reacting to the stress of not getting enough air through the tube. "Increase his sedative and watch his heart monitor." he ordered as he prepared to perform the procedure.
Within just seconds a code nurse produced the scope, and the portable television that would allow him to see what was causing the problem. Ducky watched quietly, assisting when he could, he continued to keep a firm grip on Tony's shoulder, wanting him to know he was there, that he wouldn't leave him.
Dr Pitt placed the adapter onto Tony's endotracheal tube and slid the scope down the airway seeing the problem immediately, a large mucus plug, he suctioned it out and continued forward. He decided since he was already there he would lavage the area with antibiotics and do a scrub on the right lobe,hoping it would assist Tony with his breathing."How's his sats?" he asked continuing with the procedure. He was being careful not to cause more problems, knowing he could send his patient into a lethal arrhythmia if he made a mistake.
" They're improving, he's not struggling anymore." the nurse responded, watching his vitals, his heart monitor and his oxygen levels, making sure they stayed within normal perimeters. His body visibly relaxing.
Gibbs had experienced enough, he no longer could stand to see Tony suffer, he had never been a coward before but now he had to admit he could tolerate no more and would have to abandon Tony's six.
He jerked out his IV and threw it to the floor, the staff too busy to notice. He exited through the isolation doors and passed Tim and Abby, who were glued to what was happening to their friend, unaware of Gibb's exit.
Bethesda Hospital
Front Lobby
Ziva had finally pulled herself together, had found a way to push herself into coming to the hospital but she couldn't find the courage to go up to the ICU to see her partner, her friend. Tony had the support of the others for now and she had to find the strength to find a way to do the same, but it was not coming very easily. Caring, empathy, they were difficult emotions for a trained assassin.
She sat firmly on the hard plastic chair, her fingers played with the star of David that dangled from her neck, her thoughts on her friend, if she believed in prayer, now would be the time to send one to Heaven.
She could not help but to laugh at her memories of Tony, ogling a flirty agent or getting the cold shoulder from a hot woman, she had to smile, for some reason she felt it was a good thing that the other women turned him down and it made her feel horrible when they didn't.
She stood to pace, her deepest fear was that Tony would just disappear one day, no more laughs, no more practical jokes, no more moments together as partners, no more Tony.
A code was called overhead for a patient in the ICU isolation area, her heart started beating fast and her mind couldn't shake the feeling that Tony was in trouble. She ran for the elevator, she had to be there for her friend, Tony was in trouble.
ICU Isolation
Gibbs was walking out of the isolation area when he ran into Ziva, her face in shock at seeing her boss.
"Is he?", she couldn't finish the sentence, it was too difficult to finish.
Gibbs shook his head, his hand reaching up unconsciously and rubbing at his face, a two day growth of beard present. He wanted to speak to her but knew better. He turned and continued to walk away, unable to utter a word ,unable to express anything with words, without the fear that he might allow his raw emotions to flow out with them.
Ziva was more nervous now but decided to go in to see what had driven Gibbs out, the scene inside the glassed isolation area made her nauseous and she wanted to turn and run too, but instead she found herself drawn closer, a feeling that if she got closer to the glass he would feel her support and work harder at staying alive.
Tim and Abby stood frozen in place, unable to leave, unable to speak as they watched the doctor work on Tony. Ziva made her way towards them, wanting to be there with them suddenly, finding nowhere else she wanted more to be than here with their team, here supporting her friend, Tony.
Hospital Chapel
Gibbs walked inside the quiet room, filled with lit candles. The room smelled of vanilla and flowers but had a heavy sense of sadness due to the darkness and emptiness of the small space.
He walked to the front of the empty room and took a seat on the old wooden bench, the thin gown offering little protection from the coolness of the darkened chapel area.
He wanted to pray but that's something he had left behind long ago, when he had killed the man who had taken away his family, his wife Shannon and his little girl, Kelly.
Tony was still fighting, he wasn't giving up, he knew that Tony was a fighter. He had seen his agent face death in the field many times and seen him survive, but this time it didn't occur during a regular case, it happened because his loyal Saint Bernard followed him and placed himself into danger to save his ass, it was his fault that Tony was dying.
A man in a dark suit with a white collar was now standing at the altar, looking at the man in the gown, blood still dripping from the man's IV site, "Bad day?" he asked as he walked over and sat down beside Gibbs, handing him his handkerchief.
Gibbs placed the cloth against the bleeding site then nodded in thanks and took the offered cloth, still unable to talk, too much pain built up inside him. His agent, his surrogate son, was fighting for his life, and right now he really didn't know if he would actually live or die. He had felt too ashamed to order Tony to live,feeling that if it wasn't for his own stupidity his friend wouldn't be suffering, or more like he wouldn't be dying in that glass room Tony had referred to as hell so many times when he had the plague.
"I've had days like these. The whole world seems to be against you.", he stopped talking for a few seconds, seeing that the man was obviously hurting inside. "You want to talk about it? I've been told that I'm a good listener."
Gibbs looked over at the man, he was either a Catholic Priest or a minister, possibly either Methodist, Presbyterian, Lutheran, he really couldn't tell."Not really." he responded, still feeling that the dam would burst if he did start speaking.
"Well, in my profession talking seems to help. At least it can make you feel a little better." the man responded,wanting to get the patient to talk, something had definitely effected him emotionally, and apparently, given his pale features and the drawn look on his face, he had suffered physically too.
Gibbs sat still for several minutes as did the man who sat next to him, the silence was deafening, then he spoke, "I made a mistake."
The man didn't make eye contact, wanting to give the man some space, he just spoke in a calm, understanding voice. "We all make mistakes, we're only human." he paused then finally he looked over to see the unshed tears in the man's eyes. "Is this why you left your room? Why you came here?" referring to the man's patient status, the hospital wrist band still intact.
"No, it's why I'm in the hospital, it's the reason my senior field agent is in the hospital, fighting for his damned life, I messed up, I created a situation where he had to put his life into danger, which is the reason he is unable take a breath on his own right now without the assistance of a damned machine." he bent over,elbows propped on his knees, rubbing harshly at his face, attempting to rub away the pain he had caused Tony, attempting to rub away his guilt.
Silence filled the room again, sensing the man was in too much pain to talk again, he hesitated for a few seconds but then proceeded, feeling that the man needed to be pressed into talking about what was bottled up inside of him, the man needed to resolve what was eating him up inside, "What happened?"
He didn't answer at first but then he spoke softly, "I died." his voice muffled, his face hidden in his hands. "I didn't want to come back but..." he stopped,unable to really figure out what he actually saw in the water, then his voice whispered, "I saw them."
" Who did you see Mr Gibbs?"the man asked,his voice soft,caring.
"My wife and my little girl. I wanted to be with them so badly, we were finally together again. It had been so long since I saw their faces, I just wanted to be with them, I wanted to stay. I just wanted her to take my hand." he stopped, dealing with the emotion associated with his spoken words, then in an almost whisper he continued, "She wouldn't take it."
The man, thinking that the patient might be too traumatized from the event to speak about what had occurred still felt that he needed to press on with his question, knowing the man needed to continue talking, to let it out, "Why did you come back?" the man's voice still comforting, nonthreatening.
Gibbs took a deep breath, and sat up straight on the bench, he shook his head, "Kelly told me to go back. She was pleading for me to go back, she told me she was okay. She told me that she loved me but I needed to go back." tears were now streaming down his face.
The minister remained quiet for a few moments,seeing that the man was having a difficult time but then continued," That had to be difficult to leave her again, them again."
Gibbs just nodded,no words spoken.
"Why do you think she told you to come back?" he asked, seeing that the man was giving the event some deep thought.
After a while he answered, repeated what he had said earlier, "I don't know, she was smiling and telling me that I had to go back. She told me that she was okay, she said,' I love you daddy'." his voice cracked and his blue eyes continued to fill with tears, remembering how beautiful they were in his vision, how beautiful his little girl was, her hair in braids, just he way he remembered her when he left in her in tears, her daddy was leaving her again.
"Maybe she knew your work wasn't finished yet. Maybe you're meant to save someone else. The way you were saved." he shrugged, "There are things that can't be explained and some things that have to be taken as they are presented, maybe your job here isn't done yet."
Gibbs suddenly stood, an understanding washed over him, he finally got it, the reason he had returned, the reason he was saved, "You're right, I still have a job to do." he quickly turned and left the small chapel, he needed to get back to Tony.
TBC