Well, this is going to be quite the chapter. Lost in the forests of Canada, and faced with limited food supplies and slowly diminishing sanity, our heroes must fight for their lives. Yeah. Things are going to get messy. By the way,I don't own any of these messed up freaks, and I live in Canada, so dont take the Canada jokes seriously. I also dont own Our Lady Peace. But that would kick ass, since they're a sweet band. I also don't own Gail Grissam or CSI. If I did, do you think I would make fun of it so?

Bowser stumbled through the black void, nothing in it besides himself. Well, there was one other thing, the unspeakable. On and on he ran, and suddenly, it was in front of him.

Mario: "Hey Bowser!"

Bowser turns and runs, unable to scream, he finds himself in a large clearing, surrounded by trees. Not bothered with how the hell he got there, he turns slowly, and suddenly, Mario's pour from every direction, with a few strange figures with fur coats and cowboy hats. "Hey Bowser!" They all shout, and suddenly he is at the edge of a cliff, he falls, and notices instead of water or ground, there is a sea of Mario's. He shuts his eyes and awaits death

Bowser jolts awake. He is relieved to find himself still on the plane. The Koopa King grumbles and takes an Aspirin, making a mental note never to have caffeine before going to sleep again.

Mario: "Hey Bowser! Did you sleep well?" The cheerful plumber asks.

Bowser screams, and the flight attendant comes rushing over.

Flight Attendant: "Sir! Whats wrong?"

Bowser: "Nothing, nothing... Another ice water would help..." Bowser shudders and sinks low in his seat.

Morton: "Dad had a nightmare!" The loudmouthed Koopa Kid howled.

Roy: "Dad, I'm ashamed."

Bowser: "You all shut the fuck up, or I'll be ashamed to kill all of you!" This seems to work, as they all look absently out the windows and go back to doing whatever it was that they were doing. DK sits, slumped in his absolutely ridiculous disguise, with a large dictonairy in front of him. The ape seems entranced, too entranced.

Bowser: "DK, why the hell are you reading a dictionary?"

DK looks up shocked, and clears his throat lightly. "One can never learn too much."

Bowser: "Well you certainly can't." Bowser snarls and snatches away the dictionary, revealing a rather explicite PlayBoy magasine.

DK: "I didn't know it was there, honest!"

Bowser just glares at the sick ape and shreds the magazine, while DK sighs. Bowser looks at Mario, who has a mushroom protruding from each nostril.

Bowser: "What the fuck are you doing!" Mario doesnt reply, and is going quite blue, so Bowser slaps him.

Mario: "What? Whats going on?"

Bowser: "You had two friggin mushrooms up your substantial nose!"

Mario: "Oh yeah! I was doing Shroomjitsu." Mario smiles proudly. "Its an ancient art of concentration!"

Bowser: "Its an ancient art of stupidity..." Bowser mumbles. He pulls the mushrooms from Mario's nose and tosses them backwards. Bowser looks over at DK who is staring at Bowser and muttering something. Bowser catches the word, Kill, Knife and Bowser, and becomes somewhat alarmed.

Roy: "Oy! Monkey, mind if you shut your trap? I cant hear Our Lady Peace!"

DK: "Did you say lady?" DK grins.

Wendy: "Shut up, Monkey."

Larry: "Slut..." Larry mutters,then throws himself to the ground, realising what he may have just unleashed.

Wendy, who was about to dig into some rather hot soup, sits bolt upright.

Wendy: "What the FUCK did you say Larry?" She almost screeches.

DK: "Did you say fuck?" The ape smiles hopefully.

With that simple sentence, Wendy snaps, the bowl of boiling soup soars from her hands and towards the smiling, ape-face of DK. With a shriek, the ape ducks, and the soup smacks off the face of Morton, who begins screaming.

Morton: "MY EYES!" Morton gets up and runs aimlessly, colliding with Iggy, who had gotten up to go to the bathroom.

Iggy: "You dick!" The spectacled Koopa kid shoves his screaming sibling, who sails sideways into Roy's lap.

Roy stands, without a word, and grabs Morton by the tail. With two quick swings Morton sails to the front of the plane, and lands in front of the two pilots.

Pilot #1: "Hey kid! We're almost at the airport, piss off, will you!"

Morton: "I CAN'T FEEL MY NOSTRILS!" Morton dashes to what he assumes to be the exit of the cockpit, and runs smack into the control board. There is a small explosion and the sound of electricity short circuiting, and the plane becomes without power.

Pilot #2: "Oh shit! That dude's going to make the plane crash!"

Morton: "Hey... Why do you need two pilots?" The Koopa kid says, barely alive, but still managing to run his mouth.

Pilot #1: "Oh, him? He doesnt do anything, he just sits there and gets paid more than me. Anyways, please alert the other people on this plane that we're all going to die, okay kid?"

Morton gets up, perfectly fine, nods, and runs back.

Morton: "WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!"

Complete chaos erupts, Mario begins wailing, DK shrieks and pounds the ground with his hands, Roy throws cherry bombs at random people... and then the plane begins its downward arch towards the mountains.

Bowser stands up, about to yell something along the lines of, shut the fuck up, and gets a cherry bomb in the mouth, with a scream of pain Bowser is falls backwards, into Mario, who is attempting to open the "door" on the side of the plane.

Mario, sadly, succeeds at this. And the stairs unfurl and the Koopa King and the annoying plumber are sucked from the plane and into the sky, they crash towards a lake, and Bowser manages to get Mario in a headlock in midair and punch him furiously.

Bowser: "I can't die with you!"

Mario: "Oh you won't! I still have a couple lives left. You'll die alone, don't worry!"

Bowser: "In that case, I'll be happy to use your mangled corpse to save my life!" Bowser laughs evilly and pins Mario beneath him.

Mario: "Bowser! Stop this! I don't feel the same way about you!"

They sail downwards, and slam into the lake. Bowser surfaces, as does Mario, face down and not moving. At all. With a massive monkey scream DK also leaps from the plane, his weird fur coat sailing behind him like some graceful bird. However, the serenity of DK's flight was marred by his terrible hooting screams.

Bowser: "Well. Theres a nice way to die." He laughs and snaps a picture. He casually pushes Mario's corpse out of the way as he paddles for land. He notices with a sinking heart that they are in the middle of a vast expanse of wilderness.

Bowser: "Ah shit, can this get any worse?" Bowser crawls onto the beach. "Thank God it's summer..."

Soundlessly Mario scrambles out of the water, panting heavily, and shivering violently.

Mario: "B-B-Bowser! I-I think I-I'm g-going i-i-into hypothermia!"

Bowser: "Don't be ridiculous! It's summer!" Bowser chuckles.

Mario suddenly convulses and collapses, quite dead.

Bowser: "Only in Canada..."

The Koopa king shudders and walks over to DK's limp form as Mario reappears, a robotic voice announcing that he has 2 lives left, and he better fucking watch it. Bowser nears the still ape and prods him with his foot.

DK: "OOK!" The ape sits up and begins to foam at the mouth.

Bowser: "Damn it, why did you have to live?" Bowser grabs the ape and lifts him to his feet, a scowl on his face. He turns to his two colorful companions. "Do you have any idea where the fuck we are?"

Mario: "Well;" The Italian mutters, glancing at his GPS. "Apparently we are in the mountains of British Columbia. And using this, we can find our way out."

Bowser: "What the hell is wrong with that thing?" He mutters, cocking an eyebrow at the bright yellow GPS.

Mario: "I know, they overdo it on the flash flashiness of these things." Mario waves the thing around.

Dk is suddenly very quiet. A thought has crossed the apes mind, that he ha snot devoured anyhting remotely bananaish in a while. The apes glazed eyes follow the yellow contraption, his tainted mind forming into a curved shape of a banana.

Mario: "Eh, D.K, what are you-a looking at?"

DK: "AROO!!!!" The ape tackles Mario and sweeps the GPS into his mouth, and with a crunch and a series of beeps, he devours it. Suddenly there is a crackling sound and numerous figures step out from the trees.

Larry: "Dad!!!" The koopalings burst from the underbrush and embrace their father.

Bowser: "Kids, you're alive! How did you survive the plane crash?" Bowser asks curiously.

Luigi: "Well you see Bowser, when the stairs blew open, Wario, somehow, without the aid of any form of lubrication, got through the opening. Again, I don't know what twist of nature, never mind reality allowed this, but the plane landed on him, softly. We had seconds to pile out before the plane was sent bouncing into the atmosphere." Luigi explains.

Mario slaps himself, completely befuddled.

Bowser: "Yeah, I mean how did the plane bounce off him?"

Mario: "No idiot, I'm befuddled about how he got through the plane door." Mario remarks.

Bowser blinks, not even believeing he may have just been insulted by Mario, and decides to let it slide.

Bowser: "How did you guys find us?"

Toad: "Oh, well this great fellow with the glasses here led us. He said he though he heard Mr. Game and Watch being murdered by a trash compactor, and we followed him." The mushroom man says, pointing to a stout fellow wearing a brown jacket and jeans. DK's eyes dart around as he chews lightly, a small beep coming from his mouth.

Bowser: "And who the fuck are you?" The Koopa King asks the man.

Gail Grissam: "The names Grissam, Gail Grissam, CSI. I was on the plane to visit my dying grandma. Apparently she caught a rogue whiff of gas from a massive explosion in Mushroom Kingdom. It was transported by a turkey that was shot outside Mario's house, and she ate it. Apparently it was a weird natural based gas of immense strength."

DK turns red and his eyes dart around.

Gail Grissam: "Anyways, I used a complex method known as trichonfdricliolis, a very useful math technique to calculate where exactly the noises were coming form, and found you guys. None of you happened to see Mr. Game and Watch being murdered by a trash compactor, did you?"

Bowser: "No, that was this brown idiot eating our only hope of survival, Mario's GPS." Bowser gives DK a swift kick to the knee.

DK: "Ow! Hey, you should be kissing my ass, now we have a cool impossibly smart TV dude helping us! I demand an apology!"

Bowser: "Get bent." He gives DK the middle finger.

Gail Grissam: "I see... Well our only hope now is to make a camp and live off of nature. There nowhere else we can go for now. We'll have to wait until we're found."

Mario: "Oh god, not nature! I can't live without toilet paper! I've become dependant on Charmin! All that soft goodness..."

Luigi: "Mario, shut up. Please. I already vomited once from seeing DK, I don't need that too."

Wario: "Don't worry Mario, fecal matter is just recycled food anyway. We shouldnt have a problem."

Luigi pauses for a moment, then scurries into the bushes, where he vomits noisily.

DK: "I don't get it."

Gail Grissam: "Well, our first step is getting firewood for a campfire. Mario brothers, you four should go. The rest of you, set up a tent."

Mario: "Aye, aye, impossibly smart CSI Tv man." Mario grabs a pale Luigi by the arm and scurries off, while Wario and Waluigi follow.

Well, I am so sorry for the wait about this. You know, good old writers block. Yup. Actually, I can't use that. I had this planned out for a while, but was too damn lazy to do anything about it. This is partly due to school, which is going absolutely amazingly. (Sarcasm alert.) Anyways, I'll try to rattle off the next chapter as soon as possible. Thanks for reading.