Chapter 5! though it says six
A/N-I'm soooo sorry I took so damn long to update, writer block, but it's spring break so new chapter is up! And hopefully the next chapter won't be that far behind.
Disclaimer- You ever wonder, what is the point to these disclaimers? I mean do Mike and Bryan go looking through random fanfics hoping to sue people who claim to own their show, even though EVERYONE knows who owns avatar, and it ain't no teenaged fangirl. Well you know what? I DO own Avatar! Take THAT lawyers of actual Avatar creators! Yes, im feeling daring today
It was a bloody war and everyone died. THE END, but wait! I still have like a bunch more reasons to write! So...maybe everyone didn't die? Or maybe they were reincarnated, I don't know. In any case there was a huge shipping war. Names were called, limps exploded, muffins were thrown, but most importantly, Zuko and Katara were locked up together in hopes of them "seeing the light." Most importantly(again), was that this time, unlike in the show, Aang can't ruin my plans (evil laugh). But all that doesn't matter, what really does matter is that my neighbors goldfish died, Ronin self combusted and that Zutarians outnumbered Kataangers, because this all happened on my block and my family is the only family on this block with avatards. Location location.
Seeing as how everyone died, the battle was a draw and so we shall now enter the AvatarWorld portion of this chapter while everyone else takes time to be reborn/rejuvenated/rebuilt/zombified
You may not realize this, but in between seasons the charators get to relax and not worry about the war or anything really. So what do they do during their down time? They party! And EVERYONE likes to party! And what do u do at parties? Get drunk! But I'm not writing about drunkeness. Better question is why does any teenaged girl go to a party? To meet boys! Duh! And so...
"Like omg! I like so can't wait till tonight! I gotta finish getting ready!"
"Wow you're auras so not black like it usually is, it's almost pink!This is a new side of you!" Ty Lee jumped up and down applauding
"I know! I don't get to be non-bitchy everyday! I am livin' it up fo'shizzle" Azula said while applying makeup.
"YAY!" TyLee spun around. This was a new experience for everyone. Continuing with that thought...
At the party however, Ty Lee noticed Sokka and Suki together, and thus all bubbliness was lost. All hope for a good life were gone until she realized that all Sokka's girlfriends die, and then she became happy not realizing that if she actually did date him that would mean her death. Azula got up and led everyone in the hustle. Yes, she was dynomite and out of site, a cool mama jama, a foxy mama. Groovy to the max. Azula smiled non evily and had fun. And Mai got all giggly while talking to a random guy we shall name Shichi. They had three kids Hachi, Ichi, and Shi and lived out their giggly and made up existence until the third season started. There now you know what's become of Ozai's Angels, and why the third season needs to hurry up before Azula decides to become a hippie, and as much fun as hippies are, can you really see Azula as one?
Now that everyone was reassembled and living Dsauve, once again, took the stage.
Dsauve-All right, we, the avatards of the East, have come to finish this list.
Ronin-Are you serious!
Dsauve-No, I can probably pull 20 more reasons out of my ass, but in any case, we need to get through our next ten reasons unless...
All heads turned towards Katara and Zuko, who were conveniently placed next to each other
Katara-What?
Dsauve smiled- did we bond during the battle?
Katara-Did WE bond?
Dsauve- You know, you and Zuko! Only each other in the distressing time of war, held captive by a crazy lady, you can only rely on each other-
Zuko-That did NOT happen
Ronin-How did it NOT happen?! Rules of fanfict say it'll happen!
Katara-Well tough! We're not in a fanfict!
Milk-Maid rolled her eyes- Sure
Dsauve-Who want's to present the list since our plan didn't work?
Nobody raised their hands, even though one would think it would be an honor to read off the list, you get guaranteed speaking rights
Dsauve-Spin the Bottle!
Crazy Krickets-what?
Dsauve- What? To see who reads!
Crazy Krickets-Oh...(wink) ok
Zuko-You just wanna pounce me!
Crazy Krickets and Dsauve nodded their heads while Zuko smacked himself
Milk-Maid- How about eennie-meenie?
Dsauve-That's no fun! We should fight! Or something, first to kiss Zuko reads!
Zuko-NO! I swear to "Agni" That i will kill you right now! And then burn down the house and tell your mom that you did it!
The tattle taling was a scarey thought, and quite frankly not very honorable, but instead of pointing this out Dsauve gave in.
Dsauve-Fine fine, Dorkalicious, you haven't read yet
Dorkalcious-YAY!
Dsauve-But I'm gonna let Crazy Krickets read it
Dorkalicious-Noooo! That's not fair!
Dsauve-fine fine, here you go Dork
Dorkalicous-That's dorkalicious to YOU. ALRIGHT!! YOSH! List time! Reason number one, I made up this one! WAHOO!
Dsauve-HEY! There's only room enough for ONE hyper maniac and that's me!
Dorkalicous-FINE! (Monotonal) Reason number 40, Jet tried to kill Zuko and Katara let Jet die
Crazy Krickets-That is so messed up!
Dsauve- I know even I agree!
Milk-Maid-You're gonna make someone cry!
Dorkalicious-Fine fine, the rest of these aren't so morbid ok
Dsauve-Last time I let a guy make the list
Dorkalicious-41! Which I also said and is NOT about killing people who you hate anyways so I don't know why you're so emotional over it, is the plant of love, which strives on sun and water, YOUR elements!
Ronin-We hate Jet?
Dsauve-It depends, sometimes I love him like in the Avatar Short
Katara-I thought you were gonna refrain from death! Now you're threatening us with a plant's life!
Zuko-I think you missed the point in that
Dsauve-She did! The point is Fire Nation plus Water Tribe equals Earth Kingdom so without you two there would be no tophage and I love tophage! This reason is why she's usually on your sides in fanfict
Zuko-I think you missed the point in that too
Dsauve-No I didn't because reason #42 is that you BOTH ended up in the Earth kingdom together! You're bodies gravitated toward each other unconsciously, the bonds of love! The red thread! Gravitation!
Krickets-You can NOT bring in my favorite yaoi manga to Avatar, especially not Zutara Avatar
Dsauve-YES I CAN! Because Hiro is mine! And so is Ryuchi!
At that Dsauve and Krickets got into yet another fist fight
Katara-Does anyone know what they're talking about?
Everyone shook their heads as Krickets kneed Dsauve in the stomach
Dorkalicous-I think I'm just going to continue...
Ronin-Sounds good
Dorkalicous- Reason 43 is that Aang's voice is higher than Katara's
Zuko-Is it?
Katara shrugged
Ronin-It's all high and squeeky and 5 year old like!
Katara-It's not THAT bad, it's not his fault he's only 12...physically
The Ghost of Sokka- Pepperoni is a gift from God! Its soooo gooooood. It's nice and thin, but can be thick too! And meaty and filling and sooo good and has spices and it's RED meat, not that whimpy white meat stuff. Aaah...soooo goood.
And just as quickly as it appeared, the ghost vanished. Sokka's appearance was so baffling to everyone that Krickets and Dsauve stopped fighting. A few minutes passed.
Dsauve-OMG I so want pepperoni slices right now!
Milk Maid opened the fridge and got some for her.
Dsauve-YAY! Milk-Maid you get to say the next reason!
Dorkalicious-But that's MY job!
Milk-Maid-Nah nah...Now, reason number 44...PURPLE!!!
Everyone-WHAT?!
Milk-Maid- Blue-as in katara-and red-as in Zuko- make purple!
Krickets-And this is relevant how?
Milk-Maid-Because EVERYONE loves purple! And EVERYONE loves you two together
Krickets raised her hand- I don't
Katara also raised her hand- Neither do I
Zuko remained silent, so Katara nudged him to speak up
Zuko-What? I've been paired up with worse
Everyone nodded their heads in agreement
Ronin-So that means you're all for steam shipping yes, Zuko?
Zuko-Now I won't go that far, just that I've been paired up with worse
Dsauve Jumped up and pointed at Zuko-Thats two love confessions already! Plus the comment in the first chapter about getting laid!
Dsauve turned toward everyone else-Alright! Zuko's onboard! Now to get Katara to admit she likes him too!
Zuko-I never said I was onboard!
Dsauve-Yes you did, get over it. Dorkalicious, Next reason before Zuko changes his mind
Zuko-I never agreed!
Milk-Maid-Just give up, remember she's crazy
Dorkalicious- 45 is you make green!
Krickets-SHUT UP! Stop mixing colors and calling it destiny!
Dsauve-But it is! Zuko is often portrayed as gold-because of his eyes-and so gold plus blue equals green and GREEN is the color for earth benders
Katara-Water plus fire does not equal earth!
Dsauve- Yes it does! An underwater volcano erupts and the lava flies in the air and lands on the water, the water cools it and EARTH is created
Ronin- Actually I think the air cools it
Dsauve-In any case, its in the water. So, FIRE as in LAVA plus WATER equals EARTH so to keep the balance after Aang dies and firebenders kill all the earth benders you two need to be together!
Milk-Maid-Wow
Dsauve-Impressive aren't I?
Krickets- Yes your Anti-logic and stupidity is very impressive
Dsauve smiled sweetly at Krickets
Dorkalicious-I think that made LOTS of sence, now 46 has nothing to do with colors
Krickets-Thank God
God-you're welcome
Dorkalicious looked up-Nice (looking back at the list) Ok 46 is that they are yin and yang, they balance and complete each other
Dsauve- They do, care to argue it?
Zuko-No we already know we're opposites
Katara-Yes, it takes to much energy to argue with you when you're minds already set
Dsauve-YES! I win, so you agree to get together?
Katara-No! We're just not going to argue, and then totally ignore you later
Dsauve- FINE!
Dorkalicious-NEXT Reason is Katara likes to help people out, and Zuko needs some help
Milk-Maid- Got that right
Katara-Again can't argue with him having major issues, but I tried, im not trying again
Dsauve-Aww that's so mean! You gave Aang a second chance after he betrayed you in Bato of the Water Tribe
Krickets-More reason for Kataang!
Dsauve-Shuddup you!
Katara- Still, I don't see how this is a reason
Ronin-He needs help, you give help, you become friends then lovers cuz he need's help there too and there you go
Zuko-Just go to the next reason before everyone here gets Bar-B-Q'ed
Dsauve-Aye Aye Caption...oh just wondering, do you wear a cute little apron when you Bar-B-Q, maybe one that says kiss the cook?
Zuko shot a fire ball at Dsauve, luckily she ducked, and only her curtains caught on fire.
Milk-Maid-Mom's gonna kill you!
Katara quickly put out the fire and healed the curtain, yes as of right now she can do that, because I don't wanna get in trouble, My mom is SCAREY
Katara-Soooo next reason?
Dorkalicious- Reason number 48, which I disagree with and was already semi used, Katara let Aang save Zuko
Katara-Yeah, we already went over that...
Dsauve-But this is different! This time it was in the GAME not the SHOW, when Zuko was all passed out cuz machine girl took him out, Sokka objected but Katara said nothing
Katara-This is retarded
Dsauve-It is
Zuko-Then why are you putting us through this?
Dsauve-No I mean the fact that you don't see it yourselves! How dense are you to NOT be able to see that!
Dorkalicious-Before another fight breaks out reason, number 50 is the final color one I swear!
Krickets-OMG
Dorkalicious-OK, so Katara has those "deep blue sapphire eyes" and zuko those, "orbs of gold" -
Zuko-this is so gay
Katara-my eyes are light blue!
Ronin-Blame fanfict writers
Dorkalicious- and blue and gold are our school colors!
Zuko-So are you saying it's fate because you like us together and we match you're school?
Dsauve-NO! ZUKO that's RETARDED! God, what he was saying is that in our alma marta it goes...Blue and Gold forever!
Ronin-So you want them to have good vision forever?
Everyone gave Ronin a WTF is wrong with you look
Dsauve-We want them to be together forever dimwit (Dsauve said this while hitting Ronin)
Ronin-You're so violent!
A/N- ok i don't own avatar don't take me away! With my paycheck it'll be millinias before i could make bale! Watch the Avatar short! Look it up on youtube. Avatar School time shipping, it's awesome and I'm gonna use some of my reasons from that in the next chapter, please review! In case you noticed, yes i did use numbers for all the random people in the AW portion. If u wanna know why...Mai is a month b/c they misspronounce her name so i thought i'd use a japanese month, but in japan they say their months by the number, so i used the numbers that sounded cool for names (shichi-7,ichi-1,shi-4, hachi-8) and while doing this i noticed...Avatar Roku! Roku is 6! That amused me, Yosh is japanse for alright btw, and red thread is another japan superstition about lovers being connected by red thread(shows how much of a nerd i am)...ok so anyways review