All that glitters is not Gold

Thanks to samcamstargate1, goldeneyegirl and Broken Bells.

If you don't know The Naked and Famous' "Young Blood", you might like to take a look … love it and listened to it constantly, while writing this chapter. Furthermore, when I write "Hispanic music", I always have the Buena Vista Social Club music on my mind … it's more than amazing!

Enjoy!

Chapter 6: Hasty Predictions?

Doctors' barracks, 9.21 pm

This feels like a dream, Lily thought as she walked through hers and Mina's hut, just a little too unreal. It was still warm; a light breeze had come by tonight and played with the curtains of their home. Outside, it was pitch black. Night time had come fast, had swallowed all light, and wrapped the rainforest in a curtain of darkness. Lily kind of loved the immediacy of it, although she often thought about how you would never see a real sunset around here. She had to get used to it. Living around these latitudes and dealing with the sunset being so immediate, had caused some trouble for Lily at first. More than once she had been somewhere in the village, gathering food supplies or doing house calls, when suddenly the light had vanished, and it was night time, which is very strange when you don't know your way around the village! Now, Lily always had a flashlight in her bag. She liked to be prepared and have a plan.

Right now, Lily's plan was to get going – her stomach grumbled loudly, reminding her of how hungry she was. With the thought about a warm, steamy meal, her mouth watered immediately. You can not live on bananas alone, she mused, thought back to their break around noon and hurried through the airy hut, grabbing her cardigan. Of course, the air was still warm, but with a steady breeze like this, one could easily start to feel chilly – even in the tropics. And right now, Lily was only wearing a dark blue tank top, beige shorts, and a pair of thongs.

Outside, the rainforest orchestra was giving its best, being louder now than during the day. Insects, amphibians, birds, and monkeys all singing together, as if they were trying to make the daylight come back. To no avail, of course, but that never stopped them from trying anyway.

Lily smiled, thinking about how the sounds of a U.S. city grew quieter the later at night it was. Down here, the volume simply stayed the same, maybe even increased with sunset. The animals were not alone tonight, though – they had the help of some guitars, drums, singers, and what sounded like a trumpet. With her loose hair falling over her shoulders, showing its natural curl, Lily swayed through the hut, quietly humming along to the familiar Hispanic music.

Just like the animals, the people came to life as well. Despite the darkness, nobody was ready to call it a night yet – not Lily, neither the rainforest nor the village. People were always outside, lighting small fires in old, gasoline steel barrels, playing cards, having dinner together, and playing various instruments. To Lily, it sometimes seemed as if the 'real life' of the village only started once the daylight had faded. And to some extent, she was right – once the sun went down, the temperature dropped. Sometimes only slightly, but almost always enough to become bearable – and that was when the village came to life.
With the drums of the Hispanic band unconsciously influencing her steps and moves, Lily left the hut and meandered over to the kitchen, a slightly welcoming corrugated shack with a large veranda. The hut was situated on a little hill, giving everyone on the veranda the opportunity to have an undamped view over the nighttime village. From afar, Lily saw Mina and Zee handing out plates to set the table, and she wondered if she could still be of any help for those two. Candles had been lit, paper lanterns were dangling from the roof, giving the veranda and the hut the appearance of a circus tent. Today it had been Mina's turn to prepare the dinner for everyone. Upon approaching the hut, a large lightning strike in the northern skies lit up the rainforest, coating the surroundings in an eerie glow. Five seconds later, the first thunder hollered. I wonder if it'll start to rain soon? Lily hadn't really finished her thought as the first drops of water hit, and she had to start running. Out of breath and with rosy cheeks, Lily took three steps at once to get to the safety of the corrugated shack, her top dotted with rain.

Ben, Ryan, and Otis looked up from their respective activities, as she jumped up the steps and came to a halt.

Tommy grinned and came closer to his somewhat panting colleague. He was just opening a bottle of beer, "Don't worry, Lily. We haven't started eating yet! There'll be plenty left for you."

Lily smiled back and audaciously reached for his bottle of beer, "Thanks, Tommy, for being so thoughtful," and with that she moved over to Mina and Zee to offer her help.

"Hey!" Tommy said, but yet again, Lily seemed to be deaf when it came to his voice, Only good that I brought another bottle!

"Hey, can I offer you some help?" Lily asked.

Although Otis and Ryan went back to their activities, it was Ben whose eyes locked on to Lily's figure. He clearly saw the darker dots of rain on her shorts and top, her bare arms and legs. Her appearance was so different from work – it was not only her clothes, it was her happy attitude that had him staring – that and her hair. I think I've never seen her with her hair open, he thought. After Ben had been ordered to keep his fingers off Lily Brenner this afternoon by Zee, he couldn't help but think about it all the time … and Lily. Maybe Zee had only triggered an avalanche, absolutely not having the effect on Ben that she had intended to, but rather pushing Ben onto Lily. Right now, seeing Lily laughing with the others, helping them to set the table, making fun about Tommy with Mina, she had Ben totally mesmerized. It has to be her nature, right? The light-heartedness? The absolute faith and complete contentment with herself that gives her this energy? Another thunder hit the village, momentarily muffling her clear laughter. But at that moment Ben knew something had changed … and it had changed him.

The sound of the Hispanic band reached the veranda perfectly, lulling everyone into the relaxed mood of the evening, as Tommy and Lily hurried to set the plates and glasses for everyone, while Mina tasted her dinner for the last time.

Tommy loved the evenings, having dinner with his friends, and bosses. They could talk, share thoughts and fears. Get to know each other better and help each other. Tommy felt content about it; about the fact that he had come here to escape his past and his neglect for his family, only to find the support of a new family. His bantering with Lily and Mina, their talks, and their free time activities all made him feel better. He had even considered calling his parents. It was not only him who came to life down here, Mina and Lily did too. That was when Lily's words reverberated in his ears again: "If there was ever somewhere to start over, it's right here!" And she seemed to have a good point.

Lily chuckled about something Tommy had said, while placing glasses in front of everyone, starting with Otis, then Ryan, and ultimately Ben. Lily tried to make it quick, just placing the glass in front of him and moving on … but his smell had her stop. It was musky, clean, and intoxicating. His hair was wet, he wore a grey T-shirt, simple jeans, and looked absolutely handsome. So handsome indeed, that Lily kept staring a little too long for her own liking. Especially after their 'incident' at the pharmacy this afternoon, what were you even thinking, then, Lily? He's your boss, for goodness sake! You must be out of your mind! But somehow Lily felt affirmed by Ben's actions. His looks, his gestures towards her … Lily simply couldn't help it, but felt adored. And what an amazing feeling that was! To finally be looked at again. Not in a colleague kind of way, but in a more physical sense. Taking her in as a woman. Realizing that she was finally able to let a man come this close to her again, had made her realize that she was ready – ready to start over and new. To leave her past behind her and move on, with whatever was to come.

Lily swallowed, and balanced the tray with the glasses on her left hand. She wasn't really sure though, if Ben was the one she would take that next step with … not after what she had learned about his past, his feelings for his wife and her death. Whereas she felt ready to finally start over, Lily felt that Ben wasn't ready yet – he hadn't reached this point. The point at which one actually felt like a human being again, not tied down by feelings of guilt or hurt or anger. At least, that was what Lily thought, and how she had interpreted Ben's actions. But then again, who was really able to read a person's mind? Right now, Lily just felt good about herself, feeling normal again – as much as possible.

Not knowing why she was in this happy mood, Otis looked up and had to mirror Brenner's smile, "Brenner, wow – I think I've never seen anybody more happy to place glasses on a table."

Lily grinned, "I am a constant surprise, Dr. Cole."

Ben grinned, as well, liking the way her mood affected others. That truly was a rare quality and the effect wasn't lost to him either. "Any hints on what's for dinner tonight, Brenner?" Ben's view trailed from Lily's face over to Mina, who stirred around in a huge pot, before dipping a finger in and tasting it, "I have to admit, I am not that convinced about Minard's chef qualities."

Lily softly smiled at him, before she made a move back towards the kitchen area, "I think you have nothing to worry about, Dr. Keeton," she assured him with a warm smile, although Lily made sure to keep the distance.

Dr. Keeton … could she be even more formal? Ben inhaled deeply and watched her retreat. But why should she call you Ben? Ben suddenly felt like maybe Zee did have a point with her advice to stay away from Brenner. Maybe 'their incident' in the pharmacy this afternoon had pushed Lily further away from him again. She was kind but distant. Right back to where we have been …

Ryan looked up and glanced over to Ben and Otis, asking, "Do you guys want a beer?" Both men nodded and Ryan got up to get some.

Otis' eyes rested on Ben and then moved over to Lily Brenner, standing in the kitchen, helping Mina and Zee. Otis knew the look on Ben's face, "You sure about this?" Otis asked.

Ben looked into Otis' face, not knowing what his friend wanted to tell him, "About what?"

"About complicating things around here even more?"

And with that, Ben's eyes followed Otis' gaze and came to a halt upon meeting Lily Brenner. Ben inwardly sighed, "I don't know what you mean, Otis … really."

Otis chuckled, "Maybe you can fool yourself, Ben, but you can't fool me," and he added, "and I am not sure if you can fool Ryan, either."

Ben sighed, feeling alone, "Look, it's nothing, alright?" Although you'd like to hear her call you Ben …, he mused and felt his heart tighten. Who are you kidding, really? "It's nothing," Ben said with more force.

"Nothing? Nothing has you staring quite a lot, you know? And sooner or later …"

Ben hated this conversation. Why were they all so perceptive suddenly? Knowing everything and seeing everything? Why can't I just figure things out on my own, before everyone starts commenting about it? Ben brushed through his hair, feeling slightly powerless regarding the fact that his friends could read him like an open book. "Alright, so … what do you want me to say? That I'll leave her be? That I'll keep my fingers off of her?" Hell, I haven't even done anything other than looking at her! Ben watched the object of their conversation, saw how Lily brushed her brown hair back behind her ear … and how Ryan passed the group of young doctors to come back to him and Otis with a beer. Ben sighed in frustration, "Believe me, Otis. I am trying. Hard." He silently added, you're not the only one asking me to do this! "But I can't really help it … I can't." Ben felt bad, especially with regard to Ryan. He knew that they had said they would keep it simple, that nobody wanted a really serious relationship. But then again, Ben knew that it was never that easy and he also knew that most of the time, people tried to convince themselves that they could separate work and feelings. But the truth was, things almost always got messy along the way. And the lines were blurred. Maybe I should have known, maybe I should have listened to what I knew was the right thing to do? But sometimes, confiding in someone, sharing personal things with someone, spending time with someone was all it took to bring back a little normalcy to Ben's life … and lately, Ryan had been Ben's normalcy. His solid rock. And maybe he was hers. Looking at other women and thinking about them was like a sin against Ben's and Ryan's mutual past. Ben knew that and felt bad about the fact that he just couldn't stop. It was as if Lily Brenner was a disease he had caught: you know you have to get rid of it and you want to fight it, but you are simply too weak. "I know how much trouble this could mean, Otis, believe me."

Otis saw the distress on his friend's face and felt for Ben. This man had been through a lot, loosing his child and wife in a robbery shooting and not letting him come to grips with it, still suffering. Otis slowly shook his head. "Man, don't think I am judging you here … but Ryan and the others will, and as much as you like it or not, this clinic depends on them, too." Otis moistened his lips, "All I'm saying, Ben, is … make up your mind, get a grip and do what you want to do … but be honest about it. With everyone," Otis patted Ben's shoulder, "That's the only way to come to terms with yourself."

Ben chuckled, "Don't I know it." This sounds so much easier than it actually is. But Otis had a point. Ben simply needed to make a decision. Whatever that decision would be. Ben sighed, you simply have to make up your mind, weighing things carefully against each other. What if Brenner would leave in a few months? What if she decided that the jungle was the worst of all places to practice medicine? Constantly lagging behind the 'normal world'? Loosing patients due to the shortage of vaccines? Due to the lack of sterile conditions? What if she left? He couldn't risk putting his heart on his sleeve just to see it crushed by her leaving, could he? Ryan was the safe bet in these considerations – she longed for a life down here, she didn't even know what life was like elsewhere. She wouldn't leave. But why is your heart telling you to give it a shot, anyway?

Otis smiled compassionately, "If this situation wasn't so dratty, I'd say you could feel flattered that you have two women pining over you."

Ben's blue eyes met Otis' brown ones, Two women? So, maybe Otis noticed something about Lily that Ben didn't. Maybe his look as an 'outsider' lend Otis the insight into others that Ben lacked. Before Ben could ask or say anything, Ryan returned to their table, putting a bottle of beer in front of them. And before he could think about it any further, Mina started to pour some soup onto each plate.

"Eat up while it's hot!" She announced, and dropped down onto a chair next to Tommy before digging her spoon into the delicious soup.

Upon tasting the first spoon herself, Lily closed her eyes and relished in the flavour – it was delicious and had just the right amount of spices in it. "Mina, I didn't know you could cook! This is delicious."

"Damn right, it is!" Tommy said, and delved in once more, breaking some bread to eat it along with the soup.

"Care to share the recipe?" Lily asked, having a huge sip of her beer to wash away some of the spicy hotness that warmed her mouth and her body.

Mina smiled, brushed a loose strand of blonde hair behind her ear and starting spilling, "Okay, so you need loads of bell peppers, chillis of course, potatoes, tomatoes, pepper, salt and … the best chicken you can find!"

Upon hearing the word 'chicken', Lily and Tommy both stopped eating, seeing the mental picture of 'Dinner' prancing around, clucking while pecking seeds from the ground or eating Lily's cereal. They both shared a look.

Tommy swallowed, "Mina … where's 'Dinner'?" Referring to Mina's pet chicken.

Lily had been too afraid to ask.

Mina frowned, "Right in front of you?"

Lily dropped the spoon there and then, causing everyone to look over, questioning why they were still eating, when Brenner suddenly refused to do so. Lily wasn't sure, but from what it felt like, her face must have turned ashen.

But then, Mina's serious face turned into a huge smile, "Got you!" which was followed by an infectious laugh.

And both Lily and Tommy couldn't help but join in right away, although Lily threw her napkin at her colleague, "You're sooo mean!"

"Hey – she's my 'Dinner', I get to make jokes about her!"

But all three were laughing hysterically, also being relieved.

Ben, Otis, Ryan and Zee watched the three doctors and Zee couldn't help but smile. Not only was Mina a doctor who could actually cook, but those three were getting a long so well, Zee couldn't quite trust it. All doctors before them had never interacted the way those three did. Brenner, Minard and Fuller behaved like siblings, colleagues and friends at the same time. Relying on each other, confiding in one another and getting along more than well. They would stick together – one for all and all for one. And suddenly Zee felt as if those three would stay here, in the jungle. They were not trying to be lone warriors … they had become a union. And a very stable union at that. Maybe they are the ones we have been looking for? Zee smiled contently, "Call my predictions hasty, but I think those three will actually stay here in the jungle with us."

Everyone's eyes came to rest on Mina, Tommy and Lily laughing so hard they had tears streaming down their faces.

"It's not a hasty prediction if I concur," answered Ryan.

Ben swallowed. That's just what I need – now, I have tried to convince myself that it's safer to stick with Ryan and then everybody starts telling me that those three will stay. That they won't leave. That she won't leave. How is that supposed to help me?

Hope you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading, K.

* Spanish translations and additional info in Chapter 6:

None in this chapter.