I bet you all hate me.

D:

With good reason.

But I plead my innocence!

I'm young enough to be in SKOOL and exams kicked my ass, people!! I apologize still, but, there's another reason, too. I didn't have access to a computer! It was torture, I assure you!!

Either way, I'm sorry. I'm tryin' hard now to GIVE YOU WHAT YOU WANT.

Also, how often I can get on is extremely inconsistent.

Thank you for your loyalty, though, and your love.

Most of all, for reading this.

I WOULD BE NOWHERE WITHOUT YOU!! (lol)

Enough stupid author stuff.

Here's your ZADR!

Enjoy! ~

(Before you start reading, open up a new tab, go to youtube and look up the song 'Falling Slowly' from that movie Once. It's like this chapter's soundtrack! XD)

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My ceiling is very interesting to stare at when it's one o' clock in the morning. Just make sure you have something to think about.

I couldn't understand. Zim's Pak malfunctioned because he experienced emotion? Was it love? Was it lust? Why were Zim's lips so cold?

I sighed and groaned, rubbing my tired eyes that refused to close.

How had my life changed so dramatically? I remember 'the good ol' days' when my life made sense. I chased that damn alien and tried so hard to win my dad's approval.

'You know how it changed,' a voice in my head told me. 'No one listened to you.'

'Yeah, I know,' I said to the voice.

But how does that explain why I started to pay attention to Zim again? He was the epitome of misery to my past. I was looking to forget my past, my friggin' painful past.

'You know the answer to that, too,' that voice popped up again. 'He changed. He's not the Zim you used to know.'

I sighed and turned to lie on my stomach. Very calmly and rationally, I bashed my head into my pillow seven times. Then sighed. Again.

"Angst," said my sister's voice in my head.

Okay, recap: I gave up trying to prove aliens to the world because, despite my evidence, they never listened and I got tire of it. AND I, unfortunately, started to give attention to Zim again because he had changed.

'Even if he did change, why did I give attention? It's not like I'm friends with him,' I reasoned.

The voice got annoyed. 'But you are friends with him! Even if you weren't attracted to him, you'd still be his friend.'

'Attracted?! I am NOT attracted to Zim! I'm not! I'm just…um…hormonal! That's it! God, how could you suggest such a thing?!' I yelled at the voice.

'Whatever,' the voice disagreed.

Wow. Now I'm arguing with myself again…and losing. Well, at least it's not out loud.

There was silence for a few seconds as I rolled around in my blanket, sweating and hot. I tried to close my eyes and think until sleep took me but an unanswered question plagued me.

I ignored it and kicked off my blankets. I sat up and peeled off my stinky, damp shirt and my alien pajama pants.

A chill gave me goosebumps and I welcomed it, laying back on top of the blankets and tried to go to sleep again. But the question poked at me.

I sighed and asked the voice, 'Why? Why do I…why am I attracted to Zim?'

There was silence. My own inner voice gave me answers but not the strange voice that spoke common sense.

For the fifth time, I sighed and rolled over on my left side, facing the digital clock, the numbers one, four, and eight, glowing red at me. I watched the luminous numbers until they changed to one, five, and six.

I jumped awake. I didn't even realize I had fallen asleep.

My heart was beating fast as if I'd been scared awake. I blinked around my room (the side I could see) and breathed. I focused on NO THOUGHT. But, still, I realized that with my previous thinking, that dangerous pastime, I had changed.

And realized something.

I had fallen in love with Zim.

It didn't hit me right away and something in me tucked that little thought into my subconscious.

Falling back and relaxing on my bed, I stared at my VERY interesting ceiling. I closed my eyes and tried, yet again, to go to sleep but only turned on my right side, away from my clock and towards my window.

The warm haze of sleep refused to bless me so, frustrated, I covered my head with my pillow and tried again.

A small noise scared me for a second, startled me more like, but I paid no attention. One little roach can share the space with me.

A thud accompanied that noise.

Sighing, I pulled the pillow away from my head and opened my eyes to confront the noisy roach. Except…well, it was much bigger than a roach. And it was on my windowsill as a big shadow.

And it had antennas to match.

Of course, it was Zim. How could I have suspected otherwise?

Except, I was clad only in my boxer-briefs, completely caught off my guard, on my back oh-so-vulnerable, met my first love. Who was an alien, did I mention?

Nonchalantly as I could manage, I slipped under the covers and greeted him with, "So how long have you been sneaking in here?"

I noticed, with a blush, my voice had raised a few octaves from hysteria.

Zim's alien ruby eyes flashed as he turned his head to look at me.

"I didn't take anything. If you were worried," said he.

There was a pause in which questions filled my head. 'How did he recover so quickly? Why would he sneak into my room? Why isn't he wearing his disguise?'

I sighed. I felt…weighed down. By everything. I just wanted Zim. Honestly. I wanted him to be mine and ohmygodhe'sonmybed.

He was, hunched over, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. He was sitting like a concerned adult.

"Um..." I heard myself say. I watched as Zim's back rose slightly and fell dramatically from his sigh.

"How come-" my voice was still squeaky. I cleared my throat.

"How come you've recovered so quickly?"

Zim's head slowly turned to look at me. There was one more sigh he breathed before he relaxed, grinning, saying in an obvious tone, "You don't think this has happened before?"

He chuckled as my eyebrows crumpled.

"Remember that week I wasn't at Skool? Why did you think I wasn't there? Because I was mad at you? Don't flatter yourself. I had a hunch this kind of thing, the emotion, would happen again so...I invented an easy fix, so, you know, I wouldn't die."

He stood up suddenly, causing me to start slightly. He stretched deliciously and I couldn't help raking my eyes over his subtle curves and slight-muscular form. His shirt rode up mischievously and a forbidden peek of Zim's stomach delighted me secretly.

"The only reason I'm here," he added, relaxing back into gravity, "is to finish what I started in the club tonight."

I glanced back up to his face in worried panic.

"What?" I couldn't help the sudden increase of the beating of my heart or how the room had gotten at least ten degrees warmer or the widening of my eyes as Zim slowly moved over to me, determination set in each step.

A sleek, sexy, non-existent eyebrow rose.

Zim was then beside me and I was limp with expectation and hopeful panic.

He started to lean down and as he was, he whispered, eyes narrowing dangerously, "Didn't I almost kiss you tonight, Dib-worm?" I felt the mattress depress from the hand that was holding Zim up and as he brought his face down, I felt my head trying to sink into the pillow.

'This is crazy!' I thought, watching Zim's crimson eyes travel closer, closer, closer. 'This is scary! No! He can't come at me like this! He doesn't even like me!'

'Doesn't he?' Common sense asked and then reasoned, 'He is trying to kiss you, you know. There's a clue.'

'Oh my god.' I thought. 'No! It's more complicated...'

I felt myself make up excuses for why Zim was currently about to kiss me...but...

"Weren't we interrupted?" Zim breathed. His breath washed over my face and I felt my lips pucker at the slight warmth.

'What am I doing?! What have I gotten-' my thought was interrupted.

By Zim.

His lips.

Against MINE!

Before I thought, before I breathed, I reacted, arching my back, putting the smallest push back on him. I felt a sigh in my lungs, a contented sigh, and it traveled up to my throat where it got stuck and my vocal cords vibrated the low sound of a...moan.

All this, the details, the feeling that every nerve ending I had was on the surface of my skin, the kiss, the instinct, the moan, all this happened in three seconds.

Zim stood up quickly and I could still feel the moan in my throat.

His silhouette raised a lithe arm slowly and he brought his hand to his face.

'Is he regretting it? Is he touching his lips in disbelief?' I wondered wildly.

Suddenly, in a rustle of clothing, he was poised at the window, ready to jump out. Flashing me a zipper smile, he teased, "Sweet dreams, Dib."

Gone.

He was gone and I was stuck with the memory of being kissed by an alien invader. And loving every milli-second.

Sleep was never so welcome.

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:D

Dib always fights it up until the end…