AN: Apologies for the delay in posting - a few computer issues hopefully now resolved! Posting 2 chapters and some smut to make up for it! Enjoy and please read and review, I would love to know what you guys think!
"The conversation between your fingers and someone else's skin.
This is the most important discussion you can ever have."
Iain Thomas
Emma broke the water surface with a gasp and ran her hands over her sun-kissed face, wiping the remaining droplets away and attempting to slick her long blonde hair out of her eyes. Spotting Regina coming out through her patio doors, she grinned and waded towards her. God, that woman was gorgeous and the forest green two-piece swimsuit she was sporting looked like it had been made for her.
Emma had never been shy about her own body, years sharing locker rooms and living quarters in the military had made sure of that. Hell, she worked at being at the top of her fitness levels hard enough to enjoy showing it off once in a while and for her to be more than aware of the effect it had on unsuspecting onlookers. She also hadn't failed to notice that Regina was an arms and abs woman, catching her staring whenever she was wearing her signature tank tops and relishing the attention.
Giving in to the temptation to tease the brunette, she effortlessly pulled herself up over the edge of the pool, stretched her arms and back up showing her rock-hard midriff and casually strutted towards the lounger she had laid claim to earlier.
The dog tags around her neck were nestled between her firm breasts. Her red bikini top left little to the imagination and water was dripping from her torso down her abs, her legs and eventually pooling on the tiled floor of Regina's deck. Emma Nolan was a sight for sore eyes.
Grabbing the beach towel she had left on the lounger, she tied it around her waist over the matching red boy shorts that made her legs look like they went on for miles.
Sitting down, she reached for the aviators she had discarded earlier on before diving into the water and put them back over eyes. Behind the safety the tinted lenses afforded her, Emma glanced towards Regina to ascertain whether her little stunt has been as successful as she had hoped.
Indeed, the brunette had stopped in her tracks, her mouth slightly open and the tray she carried swaying precariously in her hands. Swallowing with a gulp and shaking her head to rid her mind of the raw sexiness that was the vision in front of her, Regina looked into Emma's eyes, frowning slightly at the self-assured smirk growing on the blonde's lips. Savior 1 - 0 Evil Queen.
Regina was a born competitor. It had been drilled into her psyche, had molded her behavior, her outlook on both life and people since she was a child. Winning was as important to her as breathing. Recognizing the challenge for what it was and not one to be outdone in this strange game of one-upmanship they seemed to be engaging in since they first met, she bent down to rest the tray of apple cider and cut-up fresh fruits on the side table between the two chairs, taking longer than strictly necessary to straighten back up with a single purpose in mind.
"Lieutenant."
At the sound of Regina's sharp but amused tone, Emma's eyes snapped back up to the brunette's face from where they had inexorably drifted as her host had bent down. Evil Queen indeed. Evil, perfect olive-skinned cleavage too.
Emma had the grace to blush slightly but attempted (alas to no avail) to hide it behind a cocky grin. Regina was too astute an observer to fall for this basic trick and given the fact that Emma seemed to be a most favored topic of study for the scientist, the blonde really had no choice but to concede the point. 1-1.
Pressing her advantage and making sure Emma's gaze was still firmly on her, Regina slowly brought her hands around her hips, untying the teal sarong she had wrapped around her toned midriff and dropped it carelessly to the floor, neatness be damned.
If Regina was an arms woman, Emma's weakness was undeniably hips and asses. As enticing as the view of the brunette's chest had been, it was nothing compared to the effect Regina's lower body curves had on the blonde's heart rate and she found herself blowing heavily upwards in an effort to cool her face under the guise of removing hair from in front of her eyes. Regina looked at her and smirked knowingly. Swan 1 – 2 Evil Queen.
Smelling blood and showing no mercy for her prey, Regina picked up a slice of pineapple from the tray and extended her hand towards the blonde, offering the piece of fruit with a smoldering look and daring her to simply bite into it. Had Emma's higher brain functions still been intact, she may have still had a chance of surviving the encounter, but she had been dealt a deadly blow, and she could do nothing but open her mouth to accept the offering and taste the defeat that coated it.
Nodding her head once and smiling wryly, Emma surrendered. Whoever said 'evil never wins' had obviously never met Regina Mills, double Ph.D. in astrophysics and malevolence. Swan 1 - 3 Evil Queen. A victory by knockout in the fourth round.
Emma opened her mouth and wrapped her lips around the piece of fruit, catching Regina's fingers in the process and touching them with her tongue, the almost obscene and altogether not entirely voluntary moan that left her throat shot a wave of electricity directly to Regina's center. Had the blonde had her eyes open, she would have caught the slight unbalance it caused her opponent and would have claimed the point for it.
"Mmmmm. Food… You… My Super Hornet…"
"In that order, Lieutenant?" Regina raised an eyebrow, having gathered herself somewhat.
"Well, no… reverse order" Emma swallowed.
"I fail to see how this is any better from my perspective, dear. I am still second best."
Emma leaned forward, pulling her sunglasses over her head and peered into Regina's mirthful eyes.
"Have you ever flown in a fighter jet, Regina?"
At this, Regina chuckled. "I don't fly in anything that does not have a reclining seat, champagne on demand and doesn't show movies, Swan."
"You would love it. The adrenaline rush of a night carrier landing, the crushing weight of 7 or 8 Gs against your chest as you take off… that's one of the most exhilarating, dangerous thing you can think of. Beside you... Greatest high in the world."
The pilot's enthusiasm was evident in her sparkling green eyes and her animated face, yet Regina found the thought sobering. Lt. Swan was a free electron, not attached to this world by its conventional ties of safety and self-preservation but moving solely under the influence of her character and strong will, heedless of risk and laughing in the face of death. In her three years as a consultant at Top Gun, Regina had never met any student or indeed instructor with such much raw reckless untapped talent, with so much disregard for their life whilst in the air and yet so hedonistic when back on terra firma.
"Danger?"
"Yeah. You feel like Icarus, getting closer and closer to the sun."
"Does it ever bother you?" Regina asked softly.
"What? The prospect of getting burnt? Of my wings falling off? Why, what's going to happen?" Emma asked as she got up to untie her towel and lay it down on the lounger once more before lying on top of it, the sun warming her skin as she closed her eyes.
As she settled, the waistband of her boy shorts shifted lower, past her hipbone, revealing a line of writing Regina hadn't noticed before. Distracted by the newly exposed skin, Regina made her way over to Emma to have a closer look and unexpectedly changed the conversation subject.
"What does this mean?"
"What does what mean?" Emma said, blinking into the sun before shielding her eyes with her hand and turning towards the brunette.
"There, your tattoo." Regina pointed at Emma's hip, fighting the urge to run the tip of her index finger over the beautiful script. "What language is this? I would guess something Scandinavian?"
"It's Danish," Emma replied tersely, pulling her sunglasses over her eyes once again and tugging at the waistband, covering her tattoo.
Despite the urge to have the blonde open up to her further, Regina reined in her curiosity and dropped the subject. Emma Nolan was nothing if not blunt, and her body language clearly signified that this particular topic was off limits.
They had made such good stride over the last week - since their first date that wasn't one but really was - and the last thing Regina wanted was to ruin it by pressing the pilot too hard. She was such a mystery, so closed off still and yet could get so animated and enthusiastic when it came to her passions, her job. Yet, almost as soon as Emma lifted a corner of the veil over her personal life, her past, her family, she just as quickly pulled it back down, afraid to have said too much, revealed information that would lead to a breach in the walls that she had painstakingly constructed around herself and ultimately lead to her demise, having left herself open and vulnerable.
Having others take advantage of offered kindness, youthful naivety and being used for someone else's personal gain or entertainment was a feeling Regina was only too familiar with. As such, she tried not to be offended by Emma's behavior and to convince herself that this was not personal even if it was maddening as Hell. If she wanted their relationship to progress in any way beyond this casual and future mutually beneficial acquaintance, she would need to figure out a way to entice the blonde to lower her defences and let her in. The time, however, was not now. The walls were up and were not coming back down any time soon.
"Would you like a glass of the best apple cider you ever tasted?" she asked instead and Emma nodded, accepting the glass as the peace offering it was and smiled gratefully.
"I'm sorry, it's just… I'm not…"
Raising her leg over the blonde's body, she straddled her rock-hard abs, feeling them clench underneath her thighs to support her weight better. Lifting Emma's glasses back up she hovered over the blonde, both hands gripping the lounger's headrest for additional support, her face inches away from Emma's.
"Shhhh… No apologies, remember?"
Regina kissed the blonde's chest, slowly licking a tortuous path to her shoulder and neck, nipping at her jawline before softly claiming her lips, driving all doubts that the pilot was forgiven away.
"Swan… relationships are a bitch, especially here. I mean, don't you find it hard to concentrate already with all that pressure? Having a woman is just asking for trouble, and I don't just mean the homophobic kind of trouble. Where do you even find the time? Where do you find the energy?"
"August…" Emma sighed.
She and her brother in arms had shared much over the course of the last 20-odd years. Sometimes arguably too much. What she had with Regina, however, was something she wanted to fiercely protect. She had promised the brunette that there would be no hints, no talk while on base and despite the itching in her fingers every time she found herself within a 20-feet radius of the older woman, she was upholding her side of the agreement. Discussing the matter in a public area with her best friend was probably not the most responsible thing to do. Plus, it was hardly as if she knew what to tell him. Things were going great but their situation was temporary, and she hadn't wanted to give it any further thought yet. It was all too fragile, too small to expose it to August and his size nines.
"Yes, Emma."
"Your wisdom is infinite, so please enlighten me if you will. Where are we exactly, August?" the blonde skillfully deflected.
"We are at the airport, Emma." The pilot waved at the tarmac they currently overlooked, pointing out the planes to his friend.
"And what are we doing in the airport, August?"
"We are having a friendly drink, catching up! I feel like we haven't talked in ages ever since you've shacked up with the Evil Queen, have fallen prey to her evil bewitching ways and become her willing victim. Does the Savior need saving? Has she cast a spell on you?"
"First of all, how many times… Don't call me that, you ass. Second of all, there is no shacking up. Third of all, she is not evil. Well, not unless I… Anyway. Fourth of all… Fine, she is bewitching I'll give you that," Emma ticked off on her fingers.
"And by the way, I am a very willing victim. No 'but I'm a real boy' rescue required." She just couldn't help herself, she just loved teasing him. "However, this is not the matter at hand. What are we doing at the airport, August?"
"We are waiting for Ruby's plane to land," the dark-haired man muttered in his pint glass.
"And why are we waiting for Ruby's plane to land, August? I will tell you why, shall I? We are waiting for Ruby's plane because you told her that you needed her, that your ass was dragging like a tired old dog after barely three weeks of separation. Yet, you happily sit here and pontificate about relationships being a bitch and concentrating, and I don't know what else. You go on about how it's better to keep the blood flowing up to my brain, but you are very happy with yours all flowing to little Woody down there."
"Its name is not Woody, and it's not small! Besides you're a woman, Em. It's different." August whined.
"August, with all the love I have for you… I don't want to know what you call it. Or how big it is. I am very happy with the fact that the last time I saw it, we were eight and skinny-dipping." The blonde shuddered at the thought.
"How is it different? Do you think there is no blood flowing down there for us too? Either you are being a moron, which is likely in fairness to you, or you have so little clue about the female body that I don't know how you can satisfy Ruby…"
"Louboutins. In the unlikely event of 'in-flight turbulences', I make up for it by buying her shoes."
Before Emma could even recover from the strange turn of the conversation and the over-sharing, a familiar voice resonated in the airport bar and August soon found himself engulfed in a sea of red before being kissed senseless.
"Hi baby!" the tall and skimpily-clad redhead grinned at her husband.
"And hello to you too, Rubes" Emma jumped in. She loved winding her friends up, and August was ripe for the picking.
As expected, she received a playful but determined shove from August and a bear hug from his wife. It was so good to see her again.
"So Pinocchio tells me you're in love with one of your instructors, Emma? That while he goes to bed early every night, you're shacking up with a Latina beauty, far in the desert where no one can hear you scream?"
"Pinocchio is a pathological liar, Ruby. It's in the name, he can't help it. For the last time, there is no shacking up! And August? What the actual fuck?"
"Emma, I didn't tell her that. Ruby, I can't believe you said that. That was a secret."
"Also, Emma… I must have missed the part where you vehemently denied the "in love" part, did I? Or the part about the screaming, come to think of it. Did I miss both?" Even beside the sun, Ruby's shit-eating grin would have been blinding, her wide innocent-looking brown eyes fooling a grand total of zero people.
"Come on, lovebirds. Let's go. Things to do, people to see." Emma swirled the end of her hot chocolate in her cup and got up purposefully, eager to avoid to subject and to hide her blushing. The redhead hadn't been there five minutes and already she had pried her wide open.
"Or things to see, people to do…" Ruby taunted. With a squeal, she took off at a sprint towards the exit, Emma in hot pursuit. August dragged his wife's luggage behind him as he made his way out of the terminal building, laughing and shaking his head at the childishness of it all. He loved it when his family was reunited.
Lieutenant Emma Nolan was seething as she marched towards her motorbike, her feet stomping on the paved ground. The scoldings from her superior officers, she could take. The disciplinary measures, she could handle. Being humiliated in public, being taken as a "textbook example of what NOT to do" set her temper flaring and her blood boiling.
The moment of choice - Swan is defensive. She has a chance to bug out right here...
Better to retire and save your plane than force a bad position. Stay in the diamond another three seconds, the bandit will blow you out of the sky…
What were you thinking here, Swan?
Big gamble with a sixty million dollar plane!
Unfortunately, the gamble worked, the bandit never gets a clean shot...
Huntsman's whisper of "Gutsiest move I ever saw" was an insignificant comfort.
How dare they? How dare she? How dare Regina look her in the eye and treat her this way? Yes, they had agreed and been rather successful at hiding their blossoming relationship from the rest of the people on base. She understood this meant no favoritism, and she expected nothing less from the trained consummate professionals that both she and Regina were. What had just occurred however had left her dumbfounded and in need of major release. They had taken her apart, her and her entire MiG encounter. The hot shower she had just taken before changing into her trademark dark skinny jeans and brown leather jacket over a white tank top had done little to alleviate the tension knotting her shoulders and back.
Digging into her jeans pockets for her keys, she heard the unmistakable clacking of Regina's heels hurrying behind her.
"Lieutenant!"
How that woman could sustain that kind of pace in those shoes was beyond her. She could probably race her over 100 meters and put up a good fight. Regardless, Emma was so not in the mood. Ignoring Regina's pleas for her to stop, she straddled her bike and secured her helmet under her chin.
"Swan!"
Regina had reached her and was glaring at her, a mixture of anger and something else Emma could not quite decipher in her dark eyes. Her jaw was clenched to the point of teeth grinding, and the vision angered the blonde even further. How fucking dare she look like the wronged party? How dare she look outraged? They had made a mockery of Emma, her and Gandalf and she dared chase her to berate her even further?
Screw that.
"Lieutenant! My review of your performance was right on, in my professional opinion…"
Inserting her key into the ignition and turning it, Emma obnoxiously revved the engine to cover the sound of Regina's voice.
"Sorry, I can't hear you" the blonde shouted, pointing her index finger to her ear level and shaking her head in mock regret and with that parting shot, then gunned the Panigale away from Regina and her recriminations.
Emma pulled up to the curb in front of her living quarters, killed the engine and dismounted her bike. Kicking the stand down angrily before undoing the helmet strap, she turned her body in the direction she had just come from, the sound of a vehicle travelling at high speed reaching her ears. A few seconds later, none other than Regina's navy Mercedes pulled up behind her, brakes screeching. If the woman had looked angry when they left the base, she was apoplectic now. She got out of the car, the driver's door nearly coming off its hinges and advanced on Emma, their noses now almost touching.
"Jesus! And you call me reckless? When I fly, my crew and my plane come first."
"I'm gonna finish my sentence, Lieutenant Nolan. My review of your performance was right on. I see some real genius in your flying, but I can't say that in there. I don't want anyone to know..."
Regina's sentence was cut short by the hard pressing of thin lips against her own, hands grasping the back of her neck hard and fingers running through her dark tresses. Reaching for the taunt body and wrapping her arms around the pilot's waist Regina deepened the kiss, her tongue begging for entrance which Emma granted immediately before biting her bottom lip. Hard. The blonde broke the kiss with a moan, dropped her helmet onto her bike's seat and dragged Regina towards the front door. Blindly reaching for her keys, she kicked the door open and both of them stumbled inside, Emma's mouth mapping a tortuous path from Regina's neck up to her earlobe with urgency.
Unable to break contact with the brunette, Emma pushed her unsteadily towards her bedroom where her perfectly good bed was awaiting them. She pushed Regina onto the soft mattress and crawled on top of her, covering her body with frenzied kissed on the way back to her mouth.
"Wait! Emma, wait…"
At Regina's protest, Emma stopped her ministrations, the reality of what they were about to do and their respective states of mind hitting her right in the face. She sat back on her haunches, her hands immediately leaving the shirt buttons they had been fighting with.
"Regina… God, I'm sorry. I didn't…"
"Sssh… Emma." Regina soothed, running a tender hand over the blonde's jawline and cupping her chin, capturing distraught green eyes with her own. "Trust me, this is ok. This is more than ok. I want this as much as you do. Just… not like this."
"Yeah…" the younger woman replied sheepishly. "Angry sex is totally hot but maybe we should keep that for another time, huh? I'm sure we'll have plenty of opportunities to try it out…"
"Here is the cocky naval aviator I know. Welcome back Lieutenant… Presumptuous aren't we?"
"Am I? Are you really saying this is a one-time thing?"
She didn't think so and Regina's barely hidden smile was all the proof she needed. A brazen grin gracing her lips, Emma resumed her interrupted task. Undoing the white shirt buttons, her hands then cupped Regina's breasts over her bra, fingers teasing her nipples before swiping her tongue over the hardening buds.
Regina moaned with pleasure and Emma, emboldened by her lover's reaction, unzipped the pencil skirt hugging Regina's hips and pulled it off over her smooth legs, leaving the older woman in nothing but a matching blue lace underwear set. Regina was simply stunning, her olive skin unmarred. Emma paused to commit the sight to memory and unclasped her bra, discarding it carelessly to the side of the bed before bending down again to suck one nipple into her mouth, her hand caressing the other and pinching it slightly. She briefly wondered how hard she could make them but stored that thought for another time. There were more pressing matters to attend to if the brunette's impatient groan was any indication.
Emma's hot mouth on her chest, her breasts and now descending towards her navel, lips and tongue trailing over every inch of skin, skimming over her navel before gently biting her hipbone had Regina writhe in frustration. The torture was delicious and had she not been so worked up by their argument earlier, Regina would have certainly appreciated Emma's efforts a lot more than she did now.
Digging her fingers into the blond mane hovering over her tight stomach, she gently but firmly guided Emma's head to where she needed her the most. With a wide grin and staring into Regina's eyes, Emma hooked her thumbs in the waistband of Regina's panties and pulled them over her tanned legs. Unable to resist any longer, she tentatively licked the already wet folds in front of her, savoring Regina's taste for the first time and moaned in appreciation.
Regina's hips lifted off the mattress at the touch and Emma dipped her tongue into her centre, lapping at the wetness and gathering the brunette's juices before swallowing.
At Regina's increasing bucking, Emma laid her arm across Regina's stomach to keep her down. She softly circled her clit with her tongue and ran her other hand along the engorged folds, pushing two fingers inside as deeply as she could.
Emma reveled in how tight she was, how her muscles gripped her fingers, how intense the sensation of being inside Regina felt and loving every second, every whimper, ever moan coaxed out of her lover.
She fucked the older woman steadily for a few more moments before increasing the speed, driving Regina higher and higher until she came with a loud cry and what Emma thought might have been her name. She could not say for certain, the thighs clenching and spasming around her ears impairing her hearing somewhat.
Emma was not finished, however, and as the brunette came down from her orgasm, Emma kissed her clit one last time before making her way back up Regina's body. Hovering over Regina, she added a third finger and resumed fucking her slowly but deeply, staring into brown eyes darkened by lust.
Regina curled her fingers into Emma's mane and pulled her down into a toe-curling kiss that left the blonde reeling. Lifting her pelvis, Emma added her weight, the power of her hips to the fingers pushing harder and faster into Regina. Her own center now stimulated Emma groaned with need, every thrust sent her closer to the edge as well. She had never felt as aroused in her life, Regina's whimpers urging her on. Blood was rushing through her ears and she broke the kiss, muffling her own moans against her lover's shoulder.
Regina let go of Emma's hair and reaching back blindly, clasped her hands over the top of the headboard, grounding herself and using it as leverage to push her body impossibly closer to Emma's. She felt her orgasm taking hold of her body for the second time and cried out, the sound the only incentive needed for the blonde to allow her own release. Spent, Emma collapsed over Regina's body, a blissful smile on her face. She kissed the chest underneath her lips, savoring the salty taste of the brunette's skin mixing with her juices on her tongue.
Regina had yet to open her eyes as she sought to recover from another earth-shattering orgasm. Her body was still shivering despite the mild temperature in the room. She had lost count of how many times she had come hours and hours ago but her blonde lover was as wild and hedonistic in bed as she was out of it. Tiringly stroking the blonde's mated hair away from her face, she finally felt Emma shift from her chest to rest her upper body beside her, her open-mouthed pants the only sound breaking the silence.
The last two days had been a whirlwind for both women. After their first night together, Regina had roused alone in Emma's bed, a paper airplane shaped note on the pillow beside her. The blonde was apologizing for not waking her up and advising her she had to get to class. Regina had smiled at her lover's thoughtfulness. That night however, they had ridden back to Regina's and after an evening of grilled chicken salad, chilled white wine and soft music, they had retreated to the master bedroom and not emerged for the weekend, only getting up to attend to their most basic physiological needs, which for Emma apparently involved the inhalation of grilled cheese sandwiches...
"You know, I've always wanted to fly... ever since I first saw a jet when I wasn't old enough to walk. Or at least, that's what my mother always told me. I wanted to fly jets, then I wanted F/A-18s, then I wanted to fly off carriers, and then I wanted Top Gun."
Emma's hand moved to the underside of Regina's breast and caressed it lightly, moving towards but not touching the tightening skin of her nipple. She ran the tip of her finger around it with slightly more determination, never tiring of the sight of the pebbled skin before her.
Regina opened her eyes and smiled sleepily at her, catching the teasing hand between her own and kissing every digit lazily before dropping it back to her chest. "And now?"
"And now I want you."
Regina's face was relaxed and her back was slightly arching to meet the blonde's touch. Her skin was flawless and Emma wanted nothing more than to map every inch of it with her fingers, her palms, her nose, her mouth.
"Do you always get what you want, Lieutenant?"
"I don't know yet" Emma grinned before taking the nipple in her mouth and teasing it with her tongue once more. She was eager to see how hard she could get it before Regina begged her to focus her attention lower.
Emma was resting on her side, legs entwined with her lover, the hand not supporting her head tracing mindless patterns on the olive chest underneath her fingers. The setting sun was casting an orange glow across the bed and the perfect body she was half lying over. Regina's beauty was almost ethereal, otherworldly in this light and Emma wanted to drink it all in, etching the moment in her memory for ever.
It had been so long since she had felt this peaceful and at ease with someone. Her mind was at rest, her body sated and humming. Her ministrations had the brunette close her eyes and she let out a contended sigh.
She had never been one for much quiet reflexion or introspection, finding more solace and purpose in action than in the depths of the dark thoughts she strived to avoid most of the time. Yet this place, this woman underneath her were pulling her in, whispering chances of haven in the storm, comfort, acceptance and home. They were calling out to her to stop chasing the ghosts of a past that was not hers, the ghosts of a redemption that would not come and to start living her life for herself.
Regina's voice interrupted her musings.
"Have you ever thought about killing another human being?"
Emma raised her eyebrows in surprise, her gaze drifting back up to the brunette's face and settling on the dark pools that were softly questioning her.
"I have not had the desire to do so since that little creep Walsh in high school, no" Emma deflected. The cocking of Regina's head told her that this time the brunette was not going to let her escape as easily as she had at the poolside. She stilled her movements and sighed. "About as much as they think about killing me."
"Does it bother you?"
Emma chuckled in disbelief. "What's with the inquisition, Regina?"
At the brunette's slightly mollified look, Emma relented. She was never going to build anything with anyone if she didn't open up and she had not met anyone she had wanted to share parts of herself with as much as Regina since August. With August though, they barely needed to talk. They were living it together. "The danger? Death? Of course, I think about it. But we all know the rules... That's the deal. That's why you're up there. It's them or me. That's the price."
Emma drew away slightly and carefully looked at the woman before her. Regina had stiffened in her arms, averted her eyes and it suddenly dawned on Emma that maybe the brunette was projecting. "It bothers you, doesn't it?"
At the lack of response from the flight instructor, Emma brushed a lock of hair away from Regina's gorgeous face.
"Why?" she asked softly "You're part of it. Everybody dies. Most people don't get to die for something."
"Is this what you want, Swan? Die a martyr? A rebel with a cause?" the brunette angrily bit back and Emma could have sworn that for a second she glimpsed a flash of hurt in her lover's eyes.
"You don't want to confront it, do you? You want to keep it all clean, cerebral... velocity vectors, wing-load diagrams... You use your mind to keep things at a distance. Do you ever just let go, Regina?"
Still, the brunette remained silent and Emma shifted back to lie on her back beside her, severing the soothing physical contact she had been basking in.
"You know what really scares me? Living too long. Losing my brains, my physical abilities. Sitting in a room with my hands in my lap, watching daytime TV."
Regina scoffed at that and turned her head to finally look at Emma, her hand reaching for the dog tags around Emma's neck and running her fingers over the indentations.
"You don't believe any of this. You don't think you'll ever die," Regina retorted.
Emma shuffled again, taking Regina's hand in hers to emphasize her point. She could not help it, the excitement of flying was seeping through her voice and eyes once more.
"But that's exactly it, you see? When I'm up there, I'm cheating death every second. I'm subverting all laws... gravity... whatever. I'm skating the edge of it."
"Winston Churchill."
"What?"
"What he said..."There's nothing so exhilarating as being shot at without result."
"Regina, all you've got is one life. I guess it's worth about the same to everybody. You ever see someone after their partner has died? I watched my mother die. Cancer. She had a long time to think about it, to think about her broken heart and my father's absence. She had a long time to think about the David Nolan shaped hole in her very being. They say you reach an agreement with death. Come to accept the fact that pretty soon you won't be here. I didn't see that. She... She was very brave... Braver than I am. You go up there, there isn't time to think. When you're in the air and doing something really dangerous, you can look ahead... maybe ten seconds. That's your whole future. That's as far as it goes. But imagine what those seconds are worth. If you make a mistake, you're just a smudge on the ground."
"What if you kill yourself? Think of everything you'll miss."
"There's a lot of stuff I don't know about... Fine wine... great art... the opera. I guess if I live long enough, I'll get to it. If I don't, I'll never miss it." Emma shrugged.
Regina could no longer contain her emotions and released the tags with a huff before abruptly pushing the bed sheets away from her still naked body and getting up. Unconcerned with her state of undress, she marched to the wall-length window facing her bed. For once, contemplating the sunset over the desert stretching in front of her eyes did not bring her any form of quietude.
"Are you really that brave?" she shook her head "Actually, no. Are you really that idiotic?"
"Idiotic how?" the blonde frowned before getting up to join her lover.
The mood had shifted so fast that it made her head spin and the conversation was getting out of hand even faster. The last thing she wanted was to upset the brunette but she had always been honest with her, with herself and she refused to sugar-coat anything. She lived with a stark reality on a daily basis, and if anything was to happen between them beyond the next few weeks, beyond graduation, she needed the older woman to understand. Maybe she was clumsy. Maybe she was approaching it all wrong. Maybe she had forgotten how to open up, but she was trying.
Regina angrily ran her shaking hand through her dishevelled hair and turned around, surprised to find herself in the blonde's personal space. Needing to put some distance between them, she raised her hands and clasping them over the pilot's biceps she slowly but firmly pushed her away.
"You think like a child, Emma! You think that if you died nobody would miss you? You think that if you died, somehow it wouldn't matter?"
"I'm not going up there to die, Regina."
Despite Emma's best efforts, her frustration was bleeding in her voice. She inhaled slowly in order to calm herself and started to reach for the Latina before she thought better of it. Regina was clearly distressed, and she did not wish to add any fuel to that particular fire.
"All I am saying is that I am conscious of the risks, of my mortality."
"No, maybe you're not going up there to die," Regina exploded. "You cannot deny however that you are chasing something that you will either find or die trying, and you do not seem to care which outcome prevails! August would miss you. God, I would miss you! Just because people have abandoned you in the past does not mean I will. Just because your father chose a vocation over his family, just because you mother chose her grief over you does not mean that I am unable to put you first. You are an ass, Emma Swan! You are a fucking ass and if you think it doesn't matter you are wrong. Because for my sins, I am falling for an ass."
The swearing was so alien for the blonde that it startled her enough to not fully process Regina's words for a few seconds.
"Falling? Wha.."
"Yes, you complete and utter idiot. Falling. For you. Because quite clearly bad girls with a death wish are my thing now. That's what I didn't want them to see."
Emma found it difficult to breathe. Sure, over the last few weeks their relationship had taken a turn and her purely physical desire for the flight instructor had turned to respect, admiration and a strange but deep-seated fondness. The brunette had pushed back so much at every opportunity, derailed her efforts to woo her at every turn and kept such a cool and collected mask in their interactions that the blonde was blindsided.
She could see that her speechlessness was sending all the wrong signals, yet she could neither find the words nor the voice to adequately respond to Regina's admission. The brunette's walls were coming back up with every second the blonde remained silent, and Emma reacted in the only way she felt able to. She closed the gap between them and held the other woman tightly against her, capturing her luscious lips between her own before running her tongue over them, demanding an entry that was immediately granted. Running strong hands over the woman's back and hips to finally cup her divine ass and pull her closer, she kissed her with all she had. Backing Regina towards the bed, she gave her protesting lover a shove when she felt could go no further and Regina fell, the murderous glint in her eye soon forgotten as Emma flipped her to lie onto her front before crawling over her naked body, worshipping every inch of skin she found with her lips and tongue. Moaning at the sensations their naked bodies, their naked souls touching, merging were triggering she pouring her heart into every single kiss and nip, every touch and lick in the hope that Regina would understand. She may not be able to voice her feelings just yet but she sure as Hell could show her.