A/N: Not abandoned, just a lame author; thanks for sticking with me. Many thanks and blessings to the talented MeraNaamJoker for her beta magic.

When we last visited our scout...he was de-virginized =) Onward...

School was the last thing Embry wanted to do when he awoke the next morning, but the sun rose, and he had no choice but to get out of bed. As he headed for the shower, his mother gave him the obligatory shout from the kitchen, letting him know she was off to work. He went through his normal morning routine, but his mind was not on the coming day at all. How could it be?

He wasn't a virgin anymore. It didn't feel real. Nothing did lately. He was a fucking wolf, for God's sake.

He kept running it over in his mind repeatedly. Leah had come to him out of nowhere, fierce and determined. He had let her take whatever she wanted of him – had given himself up. He wasn't exactly waiting for marriage or anything like that, but it definitely hadn't been the way he'd expected his first time to go.

On the bright side, he thought with a smile, there must have been something about the wolf gene that affected him positively because he had seriously thought he was going to be a two-pump-chump.

At least he had something to feel good about.

After emerging from the small, steamy bathroom, Embry inhaled the cooler air of the house deeply. He was startled to realize someone else was there, and the scent was familiar.

"Sam?" he called, looking down the short hall toward the kitchen and living room area and then turning to his bedroom door. There, just inside the doorway, was his pack leader. He watched Sam's eyes scan over the rumpled bed sheets and disarray of a teenage boy's bedroom before meeting his own. Once more, the look on Sam's face was clear.

He knew.

"Well, this is awkward," Embry blurted.

He watched Sam's momentary pained expression, but the older man quickly composed himself, meeting Embry's eyes.

"I wanted to talk to you about…things. I wasn't expecting…"

"I get it," Embry answered, waving his hands to stop Sam. "I wasn't either. Trust me."

Sam was quiet for a stretch, but Embry just watched and waited. Finally, Sam raised his eyes to meet Embry's and spoke.

"I love Emily more than anything in the world, you know."

Well, that wasn't what he'd been expecting, but he didn't respond. Sam clearly had more to say.

"She's everything to me. The imprint…it opened my eyes in a way I can't describe. She is the center of every thought I have. Every choice I make." His expression was solemn and serious, but the love he spoke of showed in his eyes.

"I know that, Sam," Embry responded simply. "You guys are great together."

"Yes," Sam affirmed but continued, "but I hurt other people. It's the ugly side of imprinting. Everything I felt for Leah used to be so intense; we went through a lot together. I pushed her away after I phased because I was confused and overwhelmed. I knew it was wrecking her, but I couldn't help but keep her at arm's length. There were moments when I would give in to my feelings for her and try to forget that my entire life had been up-ended. I would see that hope in her eyes – the hope that things would go back to the way they used to be – and I knew how it crushed her when I'd push her away again.

"Then I saw Emily. I'd been around her before; she and Leah were close, but it was like being out in the water and getting hit face-first by a wave. I didn't know why, but everything inside me was screaming at me to be near her, to hold her, to give her anything she wanted."

Sam settled against Embry's dresser, leaning back and dropping his eyes to the floor for a few moments. Embry stood still as a statue, waiting and listening.

"My feelings for Leah didn't just evaporate, though. It was more like they were sucked into a vacuum or compressed into a bubble. Emily is everything, but Leah still matters."

At that, Embry scowled involuntarily and saw that Sam noticed.

"I know. It sounds incredibly shitty of me, but it's not something I can help. She was a part of me for so long," Sam defended. "I may be a wolf, but I'm still human. You can't just expel someone from your mind, especially after all we had. I don't want her like I used to, but sometimes I remember. She was the first girl I ever loved. I care for her, but as a friend, if that makes any sense."

"Not really," Embry said, practically snorting. "I seriously don't think Leah would consider you a friend."

"Probably not." Sam frowned, shaking his head.

"Sam, I don't know what all this is exactly, but the last thing I want is to hurt her. This…it wasn't my idea."

"You seem to be a willing participant."

Embry breathed deeply, rubbing his hands over his damp hair.

"Listen, I need to get dressed and stuff. Can you give me a minute? We can finish this while I grab some breakfast before school."

Sam acquiesced and stepped around Embry, pulling the bedroom door closed behind him. While Embry dressed and packed his book bag, he considered what he wanted to share with his pack brother. This was one of the most awkward, strange conversations he'd ever had. Minutes later, he was settled at the kitchen table with enough food to feed four people.

"I think it's all really screwed up," Embry began. "You still thinking about her when you love Emily so much, but I know so much of it is guilt. I've seen it, you know?"

Sam nodded, looking a little ashamed and less defensive than Embry expected.

"But at the same time, I can't fault you. Your situation is totally different from mine. I've never had someone like you and Leah were, and I don't have an imprint, but I do my best to understand it.

"As for Leah, she is…I don't know. Beautiful, crazy, bitchy, she loves her brother, she's unpredictable. I can't deny that I'd been attracted to her, so when she, um, started stuff with me, I couldn't stop it. I knew it could fuck stuff up with the pack, but I'm still a dude."

"I don't want you to think I feel entitled to her or that she can't –" Sam started, but Embry cut him off.

"It's complicated. I know. You don't want her, but you still have an attachment you can't help, right?"

"I still feel very protective of her, even though I know I'm the one who hurt her so badly," Sam admitted. "And I know I don't have any right to dictate how she moves on…or who that might be with."

Embry shoveled a few large bites of food into his mouth before continuing.

"I don't know what she thinks of me," Embry said with a hint of resignation. "She knew it would get back to you eventually. I think she was hoping it would upset you a little, but now, I don't know. I'm not sure if I'm just someone safe she can use to feel good about herself or what's going on, but I can't push her away. It's selfish of me, but..."

"She's using you, but you feel selfish?" Sam asked, looking at the younger man through new eyes.

"I like her," Embry said quietly, looking down at his food. "I don't think she realizes just how much she's closed herself off from everyone other than Seth. I see her every day with him. She's always trying to escape from something, but when she lets go with me, I catch glimpses of the old Leah."

Both men were quiet and thoughtful. Saying it all aloud, Embry realized many things about himself and Leah that he hadn't before. How much he actually did care for her. How deeply he wanted to see her happy again. What a slippery slope he traversed.

After a few minutes, Sam cleared his throat. His face was a little red, but he didn't seem angry.

"Embry, you're a good guy. I trust you with my life. As much as all this concerns me, I can't stop you. I have no control over Leah's choices, but in a way I'm glad it's you. Just please…try to keep your thoughts to yourself, and don't hurt her. She doesn't deserve it after everything I've done to her."

"I don't want her to hurt anymore. I can't say I know exactly what she wants other than an escape, but if I can get through to her somehow, I want to."

Sam smiled slyly, surprising him. "I'm sure this is a completely self-sacrificing thing you do."

Oh. He was teasing. That was unexpected.

"Hey, I said I was selfish," Embry defended.

Sam nodded once. "Just don't let this interfere with your pack duties any longer."

There didn't seem to be anything else to say for the time being, so Sam excused himself and reminded Embry that he was on patrol that night with Jared. He quickly finished off his breakfast and had just enough time to brush his teeth before taking off for school.

With all of the unexpected chaos of his morning with Sam, Embry barely had time to reminisce about his night with Leah. There really wasn't a bigger buzzkill than having the ex-boyfriend of the girl you lost your virginity to show up at your house hours afterward, but at least it had turned out better than Embry anticipated. He had no idea what was truly going on with Leah or where it would lead, but he couldn't help the hope that she meant it when she said there would be more.

School was not going to be easy.