Author's Note: This chapter was a little difficult to write but I'm satisfied with it so I hope you all enjoy it! May I just remind you that you guys are awesome and your reviews are great, thank you for supporting my work!

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or the characters.

I loved Saturday mornings, especially this Saturday since I was actually at home and the weather was neither too cold nor too hot. I hadn't been doing well these past weeks in regards with my health. The new drug they had been making me take made me pretty emotional and that was the last thing I needed at this point in my sickness. Especially when I had to remain strong.

Then again maybe it had nothing to do with the new drug. It wasn't a side effect of the pill or of any of the pills I'm taking. It wasn't even a side effect of the treatment or the cancer they so desperately want to cure. This emotional trauma is not just a side effect, it's a way of life. It's my way of life because I'm dying. Dying makes me emotional, I think that should be self-explanatory.

Other than that today was still a perfect late October morning in my opinion and I sat on my back porch enjoying every bit of it. The different coloured leaves danced around me in rhythm and I could breathe in the crisp air. It felt great to be alive in that instant until my chest started aching, reminding me I had little time left to enjoy it.

Gritting my teeth I looked around my backyard. Since my family had money our house was rather spectacular. We had a pool equipped with a diving board and a slide. Something I enjoyed up until I was eight. Then everything just turned to shit. It had been over a month since my episode that led me to the ICU and I still hadn't told Naruto. It's not that I hadn't wanted to, even though the truth was I didn't want to, but he simply wouldn't hear it.

Each time I began speaking about the time I spent in ICU he would produce a small glare and then grin broadly. He would wave a hand off and tell me he knew I was just a little stressed and that the doctors had it controlled with another pill. He had such blind faith in my ability to gain health that I simply couldn't get the words out. It made me feel incredibly guilty but at the same time I enjoyed so much, the time we were able to spend together without him knowing he was dating a walking corpse.

It didn't help every time Naruto asked me how I was I kept answering stronger even though it was a lie. Everything I said to him now a days was a lie. Shaking my head lightly I look out into the horizon to clear my head.

I heard footsteps behind me and turned to come face to face with my older cousin Neji. He was more like a brother considering he lived with us. He took a tentative seat beside me, almost as if I would magically combust if he wasn't careful around me.

"Hey Neji." I greeted him with a tired smile.

"Hina." He answered back, the nickname sounded weird coming from such a stoic voice but I let it slide, it was only who he was. "I love you, little sister." He confessed making me turn my head to look at him in confusion.

"I know I don't say it enough but I do, I love you very much. And when I become a doctor I'll help everyone who's as brave as you are."

His words were touching, really they were but they just made me feel even worse. "You sound like a cheesy rom-com. Maybe you should save those words for TenTen." I tell him winking slightly, my cousin was head over heels in love with his girl and I wished I would live long enough to see them get married and have children but I knew that was nothing but a wish.

He chuckled dryly at my lame joke and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. If anyone had to ask me this would probably be my favourite moment with him since I was born. It may not seem like much to other people but sitting in silence, absorbing his strength gave me some sort of hope.

We stayed like that for hours until his phone went off, probably TenTen. He merely excused himself and walked inside, leaving me to my disrupted thoughts once again. I was glad my phone vibrated from beside me, it gave me yet another excuse to keep my morbid thoughts away.

I looked at the caller ID and felt a smile tug its way onto my face. "Hey Naruto!" I chirp excitedly. I had seen him only yesterday but I felt lost without hearing his voice or seeing his face.

"Hello Hinata." He answers just as enthusiastically making me giggle slightly, I really really liked him. "What're you doing right now?" He inquired.

"Nothing really, sitting out in my backyard. Autumn is my favourite season." I tell him, the leaves once again picking up as the wind did. It made me feel nostalgic and slightly sad. I was talking incredibly fast, hoping he wouldn't hear my voice quaver. I seemed to get away with it.

He chuckled slightly over the phone catching my attention. "So, it's safe to assume you're not busy and I can come over and hang out with you?" He asked hopeful, the way he still got nervous before asking to hang out with me had my heart bursting, I would never be tired of it.

"Sure, you can come over if you'd like!"

"Awesome, I think my dad is coming too. He and your dad are going to do something dad like, I didn't bother learning the boring details." He told me and I could practically feel him rolling his eyes.

I only nodded before he kept talking. "We'll probably be there in a couple of hours. I really want to talk to you about spending the New Year in my family's cottage. It's amazing!" He gushed. "Talk to you soon." Then he hung up.

My mouth was left agape and my insides were melting, for entirely different reasons, not good reasons. He was speaking about a future with me, even if it was a few months away, it was still a future. A future I did not have.

My body shook involuntarily at the thought of admitting the truth to him. My eyes welled up in tears and my fists clenched by themselves. How was I supposed to tell him the truth? How was I supposed to make him understand that the chances of me spending New Year's with him were slim?

I had a hard enough time convincing myself I was dying. The girl who had dreamed of dying to stop from living had faded into the back of my mind. Naruto had pulled out the younger version of me, a girl who was brave and confident and would fight until the end.

It didn't even matter, both girls were fading. And both girls would leave some of the most important people behind.

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I sat in my room by myself, I was only coming to terms with what I had actually done.

I fell in love.

In love with Naruto. And he was well, I didn't know if he loved me but I knew that he cared deeply for me which is why what I had been doing to him for months was repulsive!

I was continually lying to him, not telling him how dangerously close I was to dying. I was basically one foot in the door already, my body was already deteriorating. That's probably the only thing this cancer engulfed body was useful for, telling me approximately how much time I had left.

Most people with cancer look terrible before they die, I don't. That's probably the hardest part for me to accept. I look fine, I feel like shit. I can barely breathe without wanting to cry from pain and ultimately guilt. He needed to know, he needed to know today.

It scared me, to think about what he would do when he found out that he was dating a grenade. A ticking bomb that would explode sometime soon, that would leave him and the people close to me shattered. I hoped he would be okay, I really did but I doubted that to be true. I didn't know exactly how much I meant to him but I knew from his words and his actions that I meant a great deal and that my death would cause him inexplicable pain.

I got so carried away in my depressing thoughts I hadn't realized I wasn't breathing. No inhale, no exhale. Crap, were those tears I felt running down my cheeks? I didn't bother checking, I just sat on my bed looking out the window, the autumn leaves looked magnificent.

I would never see them again.

"Hina, why are you crying?" A voice startled me, making me glance towards the opened door. I hadn't even sensed him open it. He was supposed to come over, I told him to when he called earlier. How could I have forgotten such an important detail?

"Hi Naruto." I answered emotionlessly. I was preparing myself for the conversation that had to take place today, right now.

I saw him walk closer to me until he was only a foot away from the bed. He looked extremely hesitant but eventually he sat down beside me, wrapping me in such a warm hug it brought new tears to my eyes. Once he noticed he immediately pulled back. "Does it hurt?" He asked gently. Everything about him when it came to dealing with me was gentle and it was a big difference from his normal self.

"No. Naruto, I need to talk with you." My voice quavered, I was unsteady.

I felt him stiffen next to me and he switched places to sit in front of me. I didn't expect him to pull me up to him, making my legs wrap around his torso but it did not feel awkward, not even for me who was extremely shy when it came to anything romantic wise. I simply wrapped my hands around his neck to alleviate his worries that I could feel radiated off of him.

We stayed like that for a couple minutes, I didn't know what this meant to him but for me it meant a little more time with the boy I loved. It meant a few more minutes where he still felt the same feelings he had for me, a few more minutes before he pitied me, before I became his sadness.

"Tell me what's wrong." He begged me, the emotion behind his voice making my breathing shallow.

"I'm sick." I answer, half sobbing.

He pulled away from me slightly to look at me curiously. I knew what he was thinking, he was thinking he knew exactly how sick I was and that it wasn't an issue for him. He was wrong, he didn't know, he didn't know anything. He only knew of my past and of some sort of bravery he saw in me that is non-existent. If anything he had given me the confidence to fight as long as I have, it had nothing to do with me or my will to live.

I shook my head slightly. "No Naruto, you don't understand. I'm…dying." I whispered the word so lowly I wasn't sure if he heard me or not but from the way his arms around my waist tightened significantly I knew he had.

"What're you talking about?" He asked, voice raspy. I could tell he was trying to contain a lot of emotions from showing but I could see it in his eyes. I was forced to look away, I couldn't look at him for this next part.

My arms that rested in his hair grasped it tightly, silently wishing I didn't have to tell him. "My cancer…It's terminal. I'm going to die."

"No." He said plainly, he lacked so much emotion it frightened me. He got up from my bed, me on his lap effortlessly. He deposited me on the floor and stepped a few feet away from me. His ignorance burned me immensely, I needed him to understand not be in denial.

"Naruto, listen to me." I pleaded and stepped closer, grabbing both his hands with mine. I almost breathed out in relief when he didn't pull away from me, that I was sure would've broken me.

"I was…I mean I am on an experimental drug but if it doesn't work it won't leave me with a lot of time left." I tried explaining, but my voice was thick and there were unshed tears caught between my eyelashes.

He cleared his throat awkwardly and looked straight into my eyes, his azure ones seemed dull. Almost as if he was lost right now and I did not know where he would be found, if he could ever be found. "When did they start the drug?"

I looked away from him, this was the most shameful part of my confession. "The day after I met you." I told him, my eyes glued to my carpeted floor.

I felt him squeeze my hands gently, making me glance up at him. "How's it going?" He asked, referring to the treatment. "I mean you look healthy."

"Looks can be very deceiving." I said sadly, taking small glances at his face. "I was told I would live for five months if the drug didn't work properly."

"Five…months?" He repeated, not believing the words.

"Yes and I'm on month three."

"But you…" He started, wanting to tell me I looked healthy enough for the drug to be working but he stopped himself. He probably figured that I knew my own body better than he did, if I told him I was close to dying he had to believe me.

This was it, I pursed my lips to keep myself from crying out loud. My jaw was tense and I looked up, swallowing uncomfortably. He needed my strength for when I delivered these words, he couldn't see me cry. Then I would only be his weakness, his eternal sadness and I refused to be only that. "I'm as good as dead."

The words came out aggressively and I knew he wasn't expecting me to be so straight forward about it but it was the best for this situation. However, the way he started shaking frightened me.

"Why didn't you tell me?!" He shouted, his voice was terrifying. The reaction was very impulsive as well as the way he pushed my hands away from him.

"I.." I had no answer, I was selfish and I wanted to spend time with him without being his grenade.

"You lied to me! You told me you were fighting it, that you felt stronger!"

Wait, what? He was angry because I told him I felt better when I didn't? He wasn't angry that I didn't tell him I was going to die before he started dating me? What was happening?

"Naruto." I called out to him and he chose that second to break down. Tears leaking recklessly down his cheeks. His perfect cerulean eyes tinted red and puffy. My rock, my comfort and my support was breaking down. It hurt to see him like that and it hurt even more to know I was the cause behind those tears.

He was still standing in front of me but his head was down, he looked too fragile to be the eighteen year old boy he was. "Hey, it's okay. You're going to be okay." I whispered softly, allowing my hands to caress his tear stained cheeks.

He only shook his head from side to side within my palms. "It's not okay, I'm not okay. You can't be…"

"Please tell me you're not going to…" He couldn't say the words, I could tell. Death. Dying. Die. Dead. Pick one Naruto! They all mean the same thing and they're all the truth.

"I'm sorry." It was the only thing I could think of saying at that point. I wasn't strong enough to withstand his crying. It was alright when I saw my mother, or my father. Even my sister or my cousin. I could handle them but Naruto… I couldn't do it. I can't do it.

"I'm so sorry!" I sobbed alongside him.

"You're not going to die!" He exclaimed looking fully into my eyes, we both looked like shit. But I didn't think it mattered to either one of us. There were more important matters at hand.

"I am. The sooner you accept it the faster you can heal." I knew I must've sounded like a bitch, but it was the easiest way to make him understand that he needed to get passed this.

"Heal?" He spit out the word. "You think I'll be able to heal if you die?"

I could only nod my head, he was young. He could find someone else, as much as it would hurt it was what was fair to him. He needed to live his life with someone who was as healthy as he was.

"You're insane! I'm in love with you don't you understand?" His words were slurred since he hadn't stopped crying but I could hear him perfectly. At a time when everything seemed like hell his words lifted me onto cloud nine. He was in love with me!

I couldn't help but start crying again, I had royally screwed this up.

"You can't die. You won't die." He told me, voice filled with useless determination.

I looked up startled by his tone only to see that he had gone ghostly pale. His lips were almost turning blue and he seemed to be swaying side to side. He reached for anything around him for support until he couldn't handle himself much longer. He wasn't breathing right, it wasn't just sadness. This was serious!

He then lost his footing and collapsed on the ground, out cold. My blood froze when I took his pulse, it was significantly slow and very weak. Why was he dying?!

I did the only thing I could think to do.

I screamed for help.