"Who was that?" Sirius asked when Penny sat back down.

"Who?"

"The people you and Lily were just talking to." Stella supplied suspiciously. Her dorm mate was acting odd, detached.

"We have transfiguration first." Penny said.

Remus looked at the girl worriedly before meeting his fellow Marauders' eyes, equally worried.

"Hey." Lily sat down quietly.

"What was that?" James asked his girlfriend.

"I'm not hungry." Penny pushed her food away, feeling sick. She rushed out of the hall.

"I'm sorry, I have to-" Lily waved her hand in Penny's direction apologetically before getting up and rushing to follow the girl out of the hall again.

Lily found her friend throwing up in the bathroom. She rushed to hold her blonde hair out of her face. "Shhhh. It's going to be fine." Lily rubbed her back, trying to sooth Penny.

When Penny stopped throwing up, she went to the sink and washed out her mouth. "We have transfiguration." Lily looked at her friend, worried over her detachment.

When they entered Professor' McGonagall's classroom, they saw that the class was still waiting for their professor to arrive, so Lily and Penny took their normal seats with the other Gryffindors.

"Good morning, students." Professor McGonagall greeted. Lily glanced at Penny to see her staring straight ahead, gazing into nothingness. "This year, we are going to start preparing for NEWTs. In order to avoid any messing about" she glanced at the Marauders "we will be sitting in an assigned order."

When Penny's name was called to sit next to Sirius ("Perry, Black"), Lily elbowed Penny's rib to get her up and watched as her friend moved at a subdued pace.

"What's got you, Perry?" Sirius nudged her. "Any other girl would be foaming at the mouth to get the Great Sirius Black as a partner." He frowned when he saw her staring unblinkingly at the front of the classroom. "Perry." He nudged her again. "Pen." He sighed. "Penny, you're starting to worry me. And I know Lily has been worrying about y-"

"Mr. Black, is there a problem?" McGonagall called from the front of the classroom.

With one last glance at his partner, Sirius replied, "None at all."

The morning went on like that and slowly each Gryffindor grew worried for Penny. When sitting at lunch, Lily was surprised when she saw that everyone-except Penny- was sitting at the table.

"Where's Penny?" She questioned. Everyone looked around, surprised she wasn't there. "Where is she?" Lily was at an emotional breaking point. When no one answered she got up to leave.

"Lil." James put a hand around her wrist. "I'm sure she's fine. She's Penny."

"That's just it James. She's not Penny right now." Her voice cracked. "She may do something really really dumb and when it comes down to it none of us will be able to help her." James released Lily.

"I'll help you." Sirius stood up.

"Me too." James and Remus said together. The other Gryffindors followed suit.

"What happened?" Remus questioned. "She was fine unt-"

"This morning." Sirius finished.

"It's not my place to say. She just- she needs us to be there for her." The others knew Lily would tell them if it was really bad (not realizing it was) and agreed to split up to find her.

Penny managed to steal away from her friends during a free period before lunch and orbed to the highest point at Hogwarts she could think of. At home, she would've gone to the top of the Golden Gates Bridge, like her father used to, but she didn't think she could handle seeing Leo or Kyle right now. So she orbed to the roof of the Astronomy Tower, knowing no one else would be able to get up there easily. Since she heard about her grandmothers, she couldn't help but have every possible scenario of how it happened play through her head. And when she able to get that to stop, her father's death would run through her mind. The demons- taking her down to the underworld-tying her in the water so only her head was above water level- her father coming down and fighting off demons until one showed up behind her-his eyes looking at her cold, unseeing-not being able to orb-the demons laughing as she cried-not being able to breath-and then Uncle came-he brought her home-the look on her Gram's face-her mother leaving-the funeral-Wyatt lea-. She stopped. She couldn't think of this. She needed to shut it off. The pain was too much. Everything hurt. Everyone left. This was why she wasn't going to let anyone in. Ever again. But Lily insisted she made friends. And now they could die and she'd be alone again. She hated caring. All these emotions were a cancer slowing killing her from the inside out. She wanted it all to just go away.

"Oh, Penny."

Penny's head shut up to see Sirius Black, hovering on a broom five feet from her. He was looking at her with pity, concerned. She opened hr mouth to say something but she realized she was silently sobbing.

"We split up to find you. I saw something up here when I was checking the Quiddich field. How'd you get up here?" No response besides sobbing. "Lily's worried. Why don't I help you?" He drifted closer, and when he went to grab her, she yanked her arm back, as if she was burned. "Penny. Take it easy. Everything's going to be fine."

"I need to go." She said.

"What?"

"I need to go."

"Go where."

"I-" she looked up. "Can you give me a ride down." She couldn't orb in front of him.

"'course." Sirius took her arm and helped her on to the back of the broom, but couldn't help but notice how perfect her small hand fit in his large one. As he was flying down, he couldn't help but feel how small, frail, the girl behind him was. This was the first time he had seen her aware since breakfast.

Once they got off the ground, Sirius kept an eye on Penny, making sure she didn't wander off while he put his broom away. "What's going on, Pen? You've been acting weird all day."

She paused before looking at her house mate "When I was little, my dad- he... worked a lot with his brother. He would leave me home with my mother. The moment he…the moment he was gone my life changed. I no longer had a father, a mother, or an uncle. I moved back in with my grandmother and her sisters."

"You never told anyone about your home life."

"It didn't matter."

"It does. It shaped you."

"I-I miss him. My dad."

Sirius didn't know what to say, so he just grabbed her hand and squeezed it.

"Penelope!" Lily called, seeing her best friend with Sirius. "Are you alright? Where have you been! You didm;t go to the Unde-"

"I'm fine. I was thinking outside." Sirius snorted at her idea of outside, but didn't say anything when she shot him a look. "Do you think it'd be alright if I skipped the rest of today?"

"It's the first day, but I think if you explained to McG-"

"I don't want anyone to know."

"Know what?" Sirius grew confused. The girls ignored him.

"Pen, you have to tell some-"

"What will it matter? It doesn't change anything. Dumbledore will find out and tell the professors its fine."

"You're right. Let's go."

"Lily, you can't miss the first day of school, too."

"I love them too!"

"Lily, if- if it happens again…" Lily knew Penny was referencing the demon attacks.

"Fine. Be back by tomorrow."

"Where are you going?" Sirius grew frustrated.

"She's not feeling well."

"Fat chance."

The girls just turned away from him and once they were alone, Penny orbed home, alone.