Okay… for whatever reason it's hard for me to write as of late. I've all the ideas and everything written down already, but my brain's mush. That's why I'll skip the actual sex-scene in this chapter… I guess… and because I can't think of any good sex-scene as of lately (I need a man, obviously).

Two those who're competing in the "hidden-song-lyrics" contest (yes, it's a contest now), it started in Chapter 3 already with one line, chapter four with 2 lines and chapter 5 had 3 lines… this chapter will have even more. For whoever gets the most right, I decided to give a prize to: A one-shot written especially for them (whatever you want with whomever you want… and I'd even write those characters I wouldn't normally touch like Botchtista or Long-Nose).

So here it is now… I hope it's acceptable. After that much drama during the past two chapters I decided to add a little fluff in this one… okay… maybe even a lot. Thanks for everyone who reviewed (and you, who gave me that very long and thought-through review under the name of "fire" please give me a hint of who you are, cause I've absolutely no idea).

Warning: Slash, Abuse, Sex

Disclaimer: I own my muses (as soon as Mizzy681 gives them back to me) and no one else.

It only took two days until all of them (or most of them) came back together in more or less a happy occasion as Randy celebrated his 30th birthday. He had spent his actual one with his family, two weeks ago, glad that he had the chance to see his Alana as it had become a rare occasion for them ever since he and Sam had broken up three years ago.

They had already been friends back in his days with Adam and after the older man had dumped him so coldly, she had been willing to catch him, had taken care of him, being the only one who he had let close to him during that time. However, she had also left him as soon as his sulking, his barking and his depressed state had become just too much to bear…. Only two months after their daughter had been born. And now that Sam had a new man on her side, Randy barely got the chance to see his daughter anymore… his little sunshine… his light.

Enough of that… it was time to celebrate, even though he was not really in the mood after Jake had kicked him out two days ago… and he was still trying to figure where he had gone wrong.

John's idea to make this whole party a costume-one was not really helping his mood either as he sat on his couch, his eyes flicking through the crowd of co-workers gathering in his living room. The next show tomorrow would be in St. Louis anyways, so the idea had appeared in his mind that having the party at his own house would be good… now? He was not so sure about it anymore. Half of them were drunk already and those who were not, were either sulking, like Cody, or not even there, like John and Jake.

He wondered what had happened between Cody and John that the older man still had not shown up for his best friend's birthday-party. He took a long sip of his beer, sighing as his gaze drifted over to Cody who was leaning against a wall in a far corner of the room, had bowed down as he stared into his bottle of Coke almost absentmindedly, his Toga hanging loosely over his lithe frame, ending a little over his knees, one shoulder free, showing off the ever-growing muscles in his arms.

Poor boy never seemed to find any luck… just like him.

He himself had decided for a Policeman-uniform, the hat resting on the table in front of him, tie loosened an hour ago when he became the feeling he could not breath anymore, the pain in his heart, the thin air in his four walls, the many eyes on him just too damn much… and he wished nothing more than to just run away… but it was his own party, he couldn't, right?

Stephen had called him yesterday telling him all about his suspicions concerning Mike and Ted, the anger in Randy's voice when he had heard everything dangerously alarming to the older man. He was almost scared for Mike when the two of them would meet the next time since he knew exactly what Randy was capable off when he was in a rage, and especially when it was about one of his best friends.

But now? From what it looked like to him, Randy was in no mood, nor did he seem to have the energy to even bark at Mike, him and Ted sitting on the couch opposite to him, holding hands, Ted's head resting on Mike's shoulder as they both happily chatted to each other, every now and then waving to one of their friends, letting someone else take over the conversation.

It seemed as if all of a sudden they were happy again, as if all of a sudden Mike had changed and as if all of a sudden, Stephen was worrying about nothing. From the corner of the room, his eyes raked over Ted's body, the man wearing a Cowboy-outfit; perfectly hugging his whole frame in all the right places, his hat currently on Mike's spiked up hair, who was wearing an Indian-outfit in return. To everyone who did not know, they seemed like the perfect couple right then and there… but Stephen? He did know… he knew it better than anyone.

While Randy was anxiously waiting for Jake to show up -he had invited him a month ago when everything still seemed to be okay between them, but somehow he honestly doubted that he would show up- he decided to talk to Ted about what he had heard from Stephen.

"Ted?"

The music was not that loud, so sitting opposite each other, Ted should have actually been able to hear him… and he did, slowly rising his head from Mike's shoulder, a content smile on his face while a slight frown appeared on Mike's.

"Yeah?"

"Can we go to the kitchen for a minute? I wanna talk to you about something."

Ted could instantly feel Mike's grip on his waist tightening, flinching a little as Mike's hand squeezed one of his still bruised ribs rather hard.

"Sorry, but Ted isn't in the mood to talk to you!"

Randy's eyes suddenly went cold as his gaze drifted over to Mike, glaring at the slightly younger man with a look that could kill.

"I did not talk to you, bitch!"

Mike swallowed hard as the harsh tone made it to his ears, instantly bowing his head before looking over at Ted with clenched teeth, the younger man chewing on his lips, looking back and forth between his best friend and his lover, uncomfortable in his own skin, as he became a victim of their hatred for each other.

"I… uhmmm…"

Mike squeezed his side again, making Ted almost yelp, but he got the sign and with watery eyes turned back to Randy, biting his trembling lip.

"Sorry… not now… maybe another time."

Randy groaned in defeat, shaking his head before he took his beer, standing up from his black leather-couch and walking over towards Stephen, Mike's gaze staying fixed on him until he was out of sight. He turned back to Ted, sending him a wry smile, patting his thigh and chastely kissing his lips, murmuring against them.

"Good boy."

Cody was still sipping on his Coke, almost unaware of everything going on around him. He was missing John desperately, even though he had proven how much of an asshole he could be two days ago. Still, he loved him with all he had and he was sure, that all those things had only slipped his tongue in the state he had been in. He doubted that John had meant anything he had said. Still… he knew he had every right to snap at him.

He did not even hear the room fill with laughter as he leant closer into the wall, wishing he could be somewhere else. He knew John would show up sooner or later, Randy being his best buddy and all for almost an eternity now, but he also could not just leave. It would hurt Randy's feelings… or so he thought.

He huffed, shaking his head to try to get the thoughts out of his head. Maybe he should start mingling, start enjoying the party… maybe that would help him forget about John for a while… if only for tonight.

And just when he raised his head, ready to start enjoying himself, his gaze immediately fell onto the source of laughter: There he was, standing before the door, surrounded by at least twenty co-workers, half of them rolling around on the floor in laughter, other half pointing at him, shaking their heads while laughing their asses off.

John was seriously wearing a cowboy hat, a silken white blouse, his usual marine-shorts and… and… He had to blink three times before he could even believe it… John was wearing some red stilettos… What the hell?

John ignored all the laughs and comments he got as his eyes met with Cody's, sending the boy a warm, almost heart-melting smile, slowly making his way through the crowd, stumbling, having trouble to walk at all, but nothing could stop him now.

Cody's eyes widened comically as he roamed John's body with them over and over again until he stood right in front of him, cheapish grin playing on his lips as he swallowed down the lump in his throat.

"Hey…"

It was almost a whisper, all of a sudden John feeling like a little schoolboy while asking the girl of his dreams for a date. Cody tore his eyes away from the stilettos again, making their way up to John's handsome face, tongue darting out to wet his lips, only acknowledging him with a small nod.

"I… uhmm… can we talk?"

Cody bit his lip hard, closing his eyes for a second before shaking his head.

"I…" He sighed, opening them again to see the hurt in John's eyes, the sincerity, the regret.

"What are you dressed as?"

"The jerk I am… listen, Codes… I'm really sorry… really, really sorry… can we please just… can we talk somewhere more private? Please?"

He was pleading… the almighty John Cena was pleading him… the else so cocky, tough bastard was begging him for something. At those thoughts the first soft smile in days curled up on Cody's lips and he slowly nodded, letting John take his hand into his own, leaning down to softly peck his lips, his eyes sparkling with love… and lust.

"Thank you…"

While the two of them made their way back to the hotel in utter silence, Randy was talking to Stephen, both sets of eyes glancing over at the couch every now and then, seeing Ted's head now resting on Mike's lap as the latter was chatting with Dolph and Chavo, sipping on his beer, his hand absentmindedly stroking Ted's hair.

"He treats him like a fucking pet…"

"A dog…"

"Yeah… he even keeps him on a leash as it seems."

"What do you mean?"

"Mike didn't let him talk to me… and Teddy obeyed… I mean… what the hell?"

They stood there in silence for a while, just watching the content couple on the couch, none of them knowing what to say anymore.

"I think it's useless."

Randy arched a brow as his gaze drifted back to Stephen, slightly tilting his head.

"What do you mean?"

Stephen shrugged nonchalantly, waving his beer in their direction, his eyes staying fixed on a confused Randy.

"Them… him… I mean, talking Ted out of it. Everyone sees that Mike's hurting him, that he isn't good for him… almost everyone tried talking to him and all he does is pushing us away. If you ask me, he just does not want to listen… he's too damn blind to see that we only care for him… too damn blind to see that Mike's destroying him."

Randy sighed, but nodded in agreement, once again looking over at the two of them, in the exact moment as Ted's eyes darted to Stephen, smiling sadly at the older man., his eyes lingering on him longer than he had wanted as he got lost in thoughts… until Mike nudged him hard into his ribs.

"What the hell, Ted?"

Ted's head jerked up from Mike's lap, the hard tone in his voice making Ted bite his lip hard enough to draw some blood, eyes widening.

"What?"

Mike's hand connected with his cheek so fast that he didn't even see it coming, suddenly the whole room going quiet, everyone's eyes darting to the couple who just minutes ago seemed completely happy, Mike's growl even drowning out the music in the background.

"Don't give me that innocent shit… you were staring at him, undressing him with your eyes, damnit Ted!"

While the southern man rubbed his cheek, tears starting to form in his eyes, Mike pushed him away from his lap with enough force to send him flying down the couch and connecting with the carpet with a hard thud.

Randy and Stephen were over in an instant, the other guys just looking on as chaos broke lose. Stephen knelt down next to Ted, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, his strong, big palm softly caressing the reddening cheek, cold eyes glaring at Mike who kept on rambling.

"You piece of shit! You really think I don't see it, huh? You really think I don't know that you're lusting for someone else… have you already fucked him? Have you also fucked Randy? S'that why he wanted to "talk" to you earlier? Who else are you fucking, you little slut… TELL ME!"

Before anyone could react, before Mike could go any further, a fist connected with his jaw hard… then with his nose… with his eye. The moment Mike had laid a hand on Ted in front of him, the moment Mike had started yelling at him for no reason, had humiliated Ted in front of everyone… that moment had been enough for Randy and he had launched forwards to attack the cocky man, punch after punch connecting with his face, his body until a soft whimper made him stop.

"Randy… please!"

His fist stopped mid-punch, icy-blue eyes softening the instant he laid them on Ted, heaving body cradled into Stephens side on the floor, lips trembling, eyes watery, begging with him. Randy growled, letting his arms drop to his side, lowering his head as his fists clenched and unclenched in an attempt to calm down.

Evan and Hunter had already grabbed Mike, dragging him through the living room and literally throwing him out of the house. Others were trying to look away from the heaping mess whose name was once Ted DiBiase jr., their eyes darting everywhere but on him, Stephen letting out a long, heavy sigh before he looked down at the man in his arm, swallowing hard at the sight of him.

He chewed his lip, slowly rising to his feet, holding his hand out to Ted who was gratefully accepting it.

"Come on… I'll get you back to the hotel."

Ted hesitated for a moment, sad eyes searching for Randy's, waiting for him to say something, but the older man only nodded his head, barely able to look at him as his body slowly started to relax again.

He sighed, turning to face Stephen again, nodding, only flinching slightly as the Irish-man once again draped him in his arm, softly hugging him to his side before smiling warmly at Randy.

"Sorry… I'll make sure he's okay… you guys enjoy the rest of the party, k?"

Randy only groaned, turning his back to them, hurriedly storming into his kitchen to get control of himself again while Stephen accompanied Ted outside and back to the hotel.

It was another hour later that the party was back to normal, everyone already having forgotten what had occurred earlier… or having pushed it out of their heads for the time being. Randy had calmed himself down enough to join his friends back in the living room, but with Cody, John, Ted, Stephen already gone, and Jake still not being there, it was hard for him to have a good time.

Cody was sitting on the bed, bottom lip tucked in, legs crossed in front of him, hands holding onto his ankles as he watched John trying to speak for what must have been the 100th time already. Ever since they had gotten back, John was a mess, searching for words, raking a hand through his hair, sighing, looking at Cody, then back at his feet, pacing the room, his whole body tense.

"John?"

He looked up again, seeing the frown on the young mans face before looking away again. This was harder than he thought it would be.

"I… okay… I might start rambling… but Cody… I want you to hear me out, okay? Don't interrupt me… please… as hard as it might be… just let me finish and then… you can kill me for all it's worth."

The frown on Cody's face now turned into a sheer look of horror as his eyes widened and he gulped down, nodding, waiting for John to continue. The older man turned around to fully face him, taking a long, much needed and deep breath before starting.

"I'm sorry… for everything I've said to you two days ago… I did not mean it… I don't know why I've said it… I was frustrated, I had talked myself into a rage, I wasn't myself… you're the best damn thing that has ever happened to me… and I sure as hell did not want to push you away… and what makes it even worse was that after I had stormed out of the room, I have gone to the bar… I drank… I… well… I went to someones room and… let her take care of me…"

Codys hands automatically clenched into fists as his expression turned from fear into rage and he had to take several deep breaths not to loose it.

"I didn't… Codes… I couldn't… sleep with her… the minute it got too hot… all I could think about was you, but when I got back to our room you were already gone… I'm sorry… I know that even a million apologies can't make up for what a jerk I've been towards you… I just… I'm sorry… I… what if I lie without you? What if I rise without you? What if I dream without you? I could not go on… you're my everything Cody… even though we're only together for a few weeks… I already know that… I… well… Without you I'm no one… I'm nothing at all. I love you!"

While listening intensely, Codys expression had softened again and for the last few sentences his grip on his ankles had tightened, his eyes slowly watering, lips starting to tremble as his baby-blues had never left John's rambling, pacing form.

He stopped again, turning around to look at his lover, chewing nervously on his lips, waiting for the young man to jump him, to kill him, to at least slap him senseless, but nothing of that happened.

"Cody?"

A soft smile crept his lips as he sighed heavily, shaking his head, his voice cracking.

"You're an idiot, John…"

"I know…"

His voice was also cracking, barely a whisper as he knelt down in front of Cody, preying his hands free from his ankles to take them into his own trembling ones, his thumbs slowly rubbing circles into Cody's palms as they locked eyes.

"I know that I fucked up big time… I know it… but please give me another chance… one more… Give me one more chance tonight and I swear I'll make it right!"

The seconds appeared like minutes… like hours as he waited for his loves reaction, his heart thundering in his chest, sweat building on his forehead, teeth digging into his lip hard… until he saw the almost unrecognizable nod. In an instant he captured Cody's lips with his, kissing him for all he was worth, his hands cupping the young mans cheeks to pull him closer, the desperation in this kiss bigger than the lust, letting him feel his regrets, letting him feel his thankfulness for this second chance.

By the time their clothes were off, neither of them could wait anymore, both panting in anticipation, both wanting nothing more than to feel the other inside of them, feel every single touch, hear every single whispered moan, every gasp, smell the faint scent of sex, taste the sweetness of sweat, feel the adrenaline.

Codys cheeks were cupped by two large palms, softly caressed as hips rocked together, chests collided, their gaze' never breaking.

"I trust you… I want you… in me, Codes…"

He was surprised by the hushed whispered words, surprised by the sincerity in John's eyes, the softness in his features, but nonetheless shook his head, before his tongue slowly traced his loves lips, collecting the pearls of sweat on them.

"No… I need you in me, John… please…"

He rose his head again, eyes meeting John's as the older man nodded hesitantly, the gesture of faith warming his heart and he slowly rolled them over until he was on top, kneeling between Codys thighs, his lust-clouded eyes roaming the beautiful body underneath him, hands following his gaze, fingers barely touching the bronze-tanned skin, the gasps leaving Codys kiss-swollen lips music in his ears.

"Damn Cody… you've no idea how long I've really waited for this."

He tore his gaze back up to the young man underneath, seeing his cheeks flushing -not from the heat, but more out of embarrassment- lip tucked in between his teeth as he waited for John's next move.

Their love-making was slow, gentle, soft -something Cody had never experienced before out of lack of emotions- hands roaming everywhere, lips brushing, touching, tongues licking and flicking, breath' tickling, pants urging them on -John felt like being in heaven as the tight passage gripped him vice-like, hot, dry, constricting, spasming, the whole situation new to him, making it hard for him to hold back.

By the time John collapsed next to Cody, they were both spent, their breathing heavy, deep, their bodies glistening in sweat, their hair ruffled, their muscles still spasming, their eyes closed, Johns hand covering Codys as they lay on their bed in silence for what seemed like hours.

It was the first time John felt truly complete, the first time he felt loved… the first time he knew that this was the one thing he wanted for the rest of his life.

It was the first time that Cody felt taken good care of, the first time he felt wanted, needed… the first time he knew that he was not only a toy, but actually an equal partner.

Ted was pacing through his room, grabbing everything that belonged to him, throwing it into his duffel bag in a hurry, feeling the eyes boring through him as Stephen stood in the door, leaning against the frame, watching Ted from a safe distance. They had not spoken one word ever since they had left Randy's house.

He had followed Ted up to his room, helping him with the keys as Ted's shaking hands had given up, had set the bag onto the bed for him, had reassuringly caressed his neck before he had left Ted to make his own decision and it had not taken him long until he had started to frantically pack each and every item of his belongings.

It was moments later that an almost inaudible cough made both of them jerk their heads around to stare at a disheveled Mike standing in the hallway, hands stuffed in his pockets, face bruised, swollen, reddened, hair messed up, eyes lowered to his own feet. Ted clenched his jaw, eyes drifting over to Stephen who was actually shocked by the change that had taken place in them… instead of the warm green they were now fully black, cold, almost scaring.

"Leave! … please!"

Stephen bit his lip, glancing back at Mike before nodding his head towards Ted, pushing himself off the frame. Before he stepped out of the room though, he turned around to face Ted a last time, who just shook his head, already knowing what the elder man wanted to say.

Mike stepped inside as soon as Stephen was out of view, head still bowed, lips slightly parted due to the swelling, slowly raising his head to look at Ted, tears in his eyes.

"I…"

"NO!"

He flinched at the harshness, the coldness in Ted's voice, the loudness in it, taking a step back as he watched Ted stalk towards him.

"I've had enough… once and for all! Don't you even dare to try to lull me in again! It is OVER!"

He gulped audibly, lowering his head again as he wet his lips with his tongue, slowly nodding.

"Just let me say one thing… I've had enough! You're selfish and sorry. You'll never learn how to love! No matter what I do or say, you always find a way to turn it against me… you don't fucking love me, Mike… you are using me… correction… you WERE using me. But not anymore. You've fucked me up for way too long! I've really thought that somewhere deep down inside the old Mike, the loving, caring, sweet and charming Mike… that he's still there… but I was wrong. You kept me on a fucking leash for months… I wasn't allowed to go out alone, to talk to my friends, to chat with someone, wasn't allowed to leave your side… you accused me of cheating on you, of wanting someone else, of not treating you right… but all the time it was YOU who did not deserve ME… all the time it was You who cheated on ME… who screwed around, who treated me like shit… who has even beaten me into a bloody mess… and I coped with it."

He was pacing the room now, his voice filled with rage, with anger, with desperation… whole body shaking as the tears threatened to fall.

"And I've been stupid enough to forgive you again and again… a hundred times… have come back to you, trusted you, let you lie to me, let you get to me… and you know why?"

He was not really expecting an answer as he zipped up his bag, his eyes scanning Mike for any sign of regret, for any sign of change as his voice went back to a normal volume, even started to tremble.

"Because I loved you, Mike… I really did…"

It broke Mike's heart to hear him talking about the past, to hear those words from Ted. The moment Randy's fist had connected with his jaw the first time it had been as if a light had gone on in his head and he knew he had done so much wrong to Ted that it would be hard to ever do him right again. He had thought on his way back to the hotel, replaying each and every time he had abused Ted, each and every time he had yelled at him, had hit him, had humiliated him… and the second he had stepped into the hotel he knew he would not get another chance this time.

Ted looked at him incredulously as Mike slowly opened his lips to speak, but nothing came out. He groaned, shaking his head before he picked up his bag and walked past Mike.

"Good bye, Mike…"

And only a second later Ted was out of the door… out of this relationship… out of Mike's life. Forever.

It was a few minutes after midnight, his house still full with around twenty of his co-workers, most of them beyond busted as Randy had finally given up hope. He sighed, tightening his grip on the beer he was sipping on for almost two hours now, not really feeling like getting busted or celebrating anymore. He watched Evan and Mark dance in the middle of his living-room, the awkward coupling making him cringe inside… was everyone gay now all of a sudden?

A tap on his shoulder brought him out of his own world and he turned his head slightly to stare into emerald green eyes, for the first time in months seeing something else than pain in them… it was happiness. Ted smirked at him, holding his heavy back up to show it his best friend, Randy's eyes instantly lighting up.

"Can I bunk here tonight?"

Randy nodded frantically, his smile growing wider the instant he realized that Ted had finally done it.

"Hell yes you can!"

Ted smiled warmly at him and in a moment of pure thankfulness wrapped his arms tightly around Randy's neck, surprising him as he kissed his cheek, hugging him, thanking him over and over again until he pulled away, a slight blush creeping his cheeks.

"I'm gonna go put my stuff in the guest-room… I'll be right back down."

Randy nodded, his eyes shining wildly, lips curled up in a huge grin as his gaze followed Ted upstairs until he disappeared around the corner. In the moment of bliss, he did not recognize the blond man walking into his house, hair neatly brushed back, black sunglasses on his nose, black suit covering his muscular body as his eyes nervously scanned the room, hands stuffed into his pockets.

He instantly regretted coming when he saw the wide smile spread on Randy's lips, the younger man sipping on his beer as he was turning back around, his eyes almost bulging out of his head as he spotted Jake in the door.

The frown on Jake's face spoke words as he shut his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath, walking further inside to greet some of his co-workers, the ones who were still sober enough to stand at least.

It had taken him quite some time to find the guts to go… he really did not want to see Randy, did not want to be anywhere near him as long as he was able to avoid it. The chances of him falling for him again were still excessively high… but then again, he had promised to come weeks ago… and he was someone who held onto his promises.

Arriving late was still better than not coming at all, right? As he started chatting with Chavo, he could feel Randy's eyes boring into his back, could see him out of the corner out of his eyes and the sadness in the younger mans face almost broke his heart.

Randy blinked a few times as he tried to decide what to do, his eyes never leaving Jake's body, mind never leaving Jake's beautiful smile and eyes, seeing him grin, seeing him laugh, seeing him mingle… though it felt as if something was off and Randy knew exactly what it was… Jake was putting on a show for him.

He took a long breath, glancing at the stairs again to see if Ted was already on his way back down, but as he found them empty, he pushed himself off the wall and slowly strode over towards Jake, inhaling sharply before he tapped him on the shoulder. Jake instantly turned around, putting on his fakest smile ever as he even hugged Randy to his body, patting his back.

"Hey! Happy Birthday again, man… the party's really rocking as I can see."

Randy rolled his eyes, groaning innerly before he pulled away, shaking his head.

"Can we talk?"

"Wha… No… I'm talking to Chavo and Layla here, can't you see?"

Randy's gaze drifted back and forth between the three before he grabbed Jake's wrist rather roughly, dragging him away from them under swearing, protesting and struggling. Every ones eyes were on them as Randy finally managed to push Jake into the kitchen, closing the door behind them and pressing his back against it, blocking Jake's only chance to escape. His eyes stared at the older man in sheer disbelief as he shook his head.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jake?"

"I've no idea what you are talking about…"

He sighed loudly, closing his eyes as he lowered his head, his voice now calm and almost inaudible.

"You know… two days ago… it really hurt me… your coldness, your sudden hardness, your disinterest. I…"

He sighed again, now opening his eyes to look directly at Jake, seeing the Mississippi-native curiously tilting his head, brows arched. Slowly making his way over to him, he could even see his muscles tensing and his hands clenching. He jumped onto the counter, sitting down on it with his hands on either side of his thighs, lowering his head before locking eyes with a confused Jake.

"I should have told you earlier… I should have told Cody or Ted or even John earlier… you know… six years ago me and Adam became an item…"

Turning away from Jake's boring gaze, he continued.

"We became really tight, as tight as can be… we've spend every single minute together, every single breath, every single move… we went through everything together. I loved him more than my own life and I truly believed that he felt the same… He was the one I wanted, I needed, I desired, I loved… the one I wanted to hold in my arms forever."

His voice trailed of during the last part, eyes showing off the pain that he was going through the past years as he swallowed hard.

"Until the day I found him in our bed… with my former best friend… only a day before I wanted to propose to him… and what did the bastard tell me as an excuse? … That he did not love me anymore. Now… there I was, heart-broken, a bloody mess, an emotional wreck… I distanced myself from my closest friends, not trusting anyone anymore, I've built a brick-wall around me, I sank into a deep, depressing hole. Even Sam, who was trying her dearest to cope with me, finally gave up and took Alana with her… the only thing in my life I had left, the only thing that had given me strength after Adam had left and I fell even deeper."

He bit his lip as Jake just continued to listen, his own eyes filling with tears as Randy looked at him.

"I did not want anyone to ever hurt me again, did not want anyone to get close to me again, did not want to fall for anyone ever again… I could not risk feeling that much pain ever again… I was scared of it… sense I started to fuck around, meaningless, careless one-nighters, just some random fucks… nothing to think about, nothing to worry about… until… well… until I met you."

At this Jake's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak, but Randy put a hand up to stop him.

"I first thought that… it was just a fling… it WAS just a fling, for me anyways… but I saw you getting more and more into it… into me… falling for me… and I did not want that, cause I knew I could not give you what you wanted… I was too scared to give you what you wanted. I was an idiot."

He looked back up from his dangling feet to take a deep breath.

"Last week after Raw… when you and Cody thought I was passed out… I heard everything, Jake… every single word."

Jake swallowed, lowering his head, the slight blush creeping his cheeks not going unnoticed by Randy and he actually smiled a little.

"And I realized just then that I could not go on like this anymore… that it was hurting me… it was killing me to see someone else in as much pain as I've been back then… because of ME. So… the next day I drove down to Tampa… to do the only thing that was left… to talk to Adam and finally come to peace with him… with me… with the past."

Jake took a deep breath, looking back up at Randy and what he saw almost made him melt… his eyes were sparkling in a new color, something Jake had never seen before, not in Randy at least… they were filled with something other than lust for once, with something else than desire… Randy was looking at him with love.

"I did that because of you… Jake?"

"Hmmm?"

Randy slit down the counter until he was standing right in front of Jake, gently cupping his cheeks in his hands, thumbs rubbing circles into the soft flesh.

"Can you give me a chance? Please? Let us try it… let me be with you… see where this will lead us… see if there's a chance for us! What do you say?"

Jake was incapable of speaking, almost incapable to even think straight as he felt the warmth radiate from Randy's body sending chills down his back. His knees felt like pudding as he stared straight back into those warm, deep blue pools, searching for something in them… something that would tell him Randy was kidding, that he was just playing one of his games… or that he was dreaming this.

"Jake?"

"Yeah… I… Randy… I dunno… I…"

"I love you!"

Now that totally threw him off, catching him off guard. His eyes widened as he stared wordless into the younger mans eyes… and he knew the moment they locked, that it was the truth. He gulped audibly, slowly nodding his head as good as possible, the wide, warm, sincere smile on Randy's lips only being topped by the heart-shattering kiss that followed.

Okay, apologies for the bad grammar this time, but as said, I've a hard time writing as of late. I hope that the two people I really, really wanted to review the last chapters will review at least this one (that means they have to read it first, which obviously is a really hard task). Sorry, enough sulking... I'm off to visit my parents and hopefully those 4 days will help me to get my head straight again and finally forget everything that's going on. I've the next chapter planned already and will try to publish it come weekend. Until then have fun with this chapter and your imagination!