Hello again everyone. I'm pleased to bring you another chapter. I had to replace my keyboard for my tablet, which I do 99% of my writing on, so writing was rather hard for a few days. But I've a new one now and am happy with it, so on we go.

Chapter 6

Not Too Far Gone

Claire really, really liked Barbara Lake.

She was dorky like Jim, but she was a woman too, and exuded this presence that Claire so associated with motherhood that one only had to walk by before it hit them in the face. It was warm and inviting, a little overwhelming, and so very different from her own mother's aura that it made her a little nervous. But a happy kind of nervous, as if she were about to receive a gift and didn't want to cry when it was handed over.

It had been a while since Claire had been able to talk to a woman about all the crazy things that had happened. Nomura didn't count – she spoke very little and worked very much, and was not a conversationalist. And if Claire was really honest with herself, it felt really good to be able to do something as mundane as shop with this powerfully caring, brilliant female.

"Does Jim go tearing around at night without putting on a hat? I know he's part troll now, but I still think it's a bad idea. It's freezing up here." Barbara gave Toby a reproving look. "Did you bring a jacket?"

"Uh…can I plead the fifth?" Toby grinned sheepishly. He had accompanied them to see the mall, and to help carry items for New Trollmarket. "Sorry Dr. Lake. We were in a hurry."

"A weakened immune system will get into a hurry too." Barbara ruffled his hair. "Do trolls use soap? What about toys, are there troll children living in New Trollmarket? Oh. I don't even know what that is, but I like it." She turned over the vase. "Is it a monkey? Maybe a lizard shape?"

"I'm thinking some kind of dog myself." The mall had no shortage of stores and the stores had no shortage of clothing and decorations. Claire figured that even if the tunnels didn't need cozying up – though they did, they absolutely did – the trolls could eat their décor if things got difficult. "I can't believe you've found homes for over a hundred babies already, that's crazy."

"It's been great. I think Walter is really bonding with Walter Jr. He's been so good with the babies." Barbara selected a gray toboggan and tried it on Toby's head. "Aw, you're so handsome in it. I'm getting it." Toby opened his mouth to protest but Claire shook her head; let the woman have some fun. "And Claire, guess who took his first steps last week?"

Claire couldn't contain a tiny shriek. "I know, Enrique! Mama sent me a video, he's toddling everywhere." Barbara laughed, face bright with amusement. The trip continued a little while, and the chatter was warm and gentle. The only way it would have been better would have been-

No. We'll get there, so don't despair. Claire took a deep breath to center herself and forced herself to pay attention to Barbara again. "What was that Dr. Lake?" The woman pulled another hat out of her bag, this one a deep blue.

"I'm going to adjust this. Stitch up a couple holes in the back and Jim should be able to wear it, right? The horns would start about here, right?" Claire was struck by the notion that Jim would look either very dorky in the hat or extremely cute. She tried to visualize it over his dark, unruly hair, blue eyes peeping up sheepishly. Definitely cute. "What about Aaarrrgghh, and Blinky? Are trolls sensitive to cold at all?"

Claire held back when Toby escorted Barbara in the next shop – she'd gone sock shopping so many times she couldn't stand looking at another Goldtoe if her life depended on it – looking around the area. She leaned against an empty table in the food court, smelling lo mein noodles from one side and chicken sandwiches from the other. The directory in the middle of the tables flashed with advertisements, brilliant colors playing over the cream tile and black tables and chairs.

Her arms ached from the bags and she shifted them, watching the screen. Jim would have carried them for her, she thought amusedly. They hadn't spent much time doing "normal" teen things after he escaped the Darklands, but there had been at least one trip to the mall with Toby along where she remembered the two attempting to understand her fondness for examining a hundred items and buying two.

Claire sighed. Her abdomen hurt and her eyes were hot – she was about to start. Ugh, perfect timing. There was a pharmacy by the mall, she'd have to stop there. A memory of a lifetime ago made her pause. Short into her illness, when Morganna's possession had begun, she had been fatigued enough that her memory blurred. But she would never forget, after a confession that she felt like absolute crap and was completely out of patience and tampons – she cringed remembering that bit, she'd never told boys that, only Mary and Darci – Jim and Toby swinging by her window in the dead of night to deliver a few bags. Inside one had been a box of chocolate and a carton of orange juice. "The first is for your soul. The second is for the vitamin C since that's supposed to boost your immune system." Toby fidgeted and looked to Jim pointedly. The second bag had contained something that made Jim stare out the window with an intense blush creeping up his neck.

She'd pulled the box out and met his embarrassed gaze. "Please tell me those are the right kind, Darci thought they were. There are like a billion types and brands." Claire had held it all, chocolate and juice and tampons, imagined the boys braving the feminine hygiene aisle, and burst into laughing sobs.

"What are you smiling at?" Toby resembled a tiny donkey with his stocky frame and bags hanging from either arm. He now wore a red hat and a matching scarf, obviously bequeathed by Barbara. It made him even rounder and fluffier than usual. She'd have to snap a pic and send it to Darci.

She laughed softly and he rolled his eyes. "I was remembering the time you and Jim brought me stuff for my period."

"Oh yeah. Hey, if I can buy Bengay and denture cream for my Nana, that stuff is cake. Though I avoided the feminine aisle. Jim wasn't completely lost, oddly enough." He glanced over his shoulder as Barbara approached, putting her wallet in her purse. "Hey Dr. Lake, quick question. You ever send Jim to the pharmacy for stuff?"

"Stuff? What stuff?" Barbara peered at them. "Oh, Claire. Mother Nature's loving gift?"

"Yeah." Of course a doctor would know. Claire felt her face flush but Toby just shrugged and Barbara smiled knowingly.

"If you're asking if I ever sent Jim purposely to pick up some decidedly feminine items, then no, I did not. He did sometimes bring them home if he knew I was out." Claire's heart warmed – however stupid it seemed, the idea of a guy going to get such things for his mom was positively darling. "Tell you what, I'm just about finished. We'll hit the drugstore and then head back. I hope these things are helpful." She led the way past the food court and Toby fell back slightly to walk beside Claire.

"Think we should tell her?" he murmured.

Claire nodded. "Definitely. We need something of Jim's from when he was human. And she'd want to know." Her stomach churned. "But if it doesn't work…it would break her heart."

"There is a zero percent chance of that. It is going to work." Toby took a deep breath, as if to cement his own confidence. "We should ask her now."

"Okay." Claire managed to catch Barbara's arm. "Dr. Lake…there's something we need to tell you." The woman paused, worry flashing across her face. "It's not anything bad…in fact, it might be the best thing in the world. But we're not sure of it yet." Claire glanced at Toby, who squared his shoulders, looking like a stern little Santa with his red hat and scarf.

"Dr. Lake, we think we might be able to make Jim a changeling. As in, give him a human form to switch to."

Barbara dropped her bags. Thankfully they were mostly cloth, and Claire grabbed the cheery ceramic bowls before they hit the ground and shattered, but it still drew attention. "We should have sat you down, shouldn't we? Yep, that's on me, sorry…" Toby began, pulling out the nearest chair for her and scooping up the bags. The people that had paused moved on, uninterested again.

The distant shock on Barbara's face vanished, replaced by the look of an animal that had just spotted its first scrap of food in days. "What do you mean? Toby, Claire, how is that possible?"

Toby sat in one of the chairs and Claire took the other. "First thing, Dr. Lake, please don't tell Jim about any of this. We…we are going to make this work, but if it somehow, someway, just doesn't go right, I couldn't stand letting him down like that." Toby's green eyes were alight, and Barbara jerked her head in a single nod. "We're telling you because Blinky and Strickler have finalized the formula. They're thinking that we can make a stone for the amulet that will legit let him switch like a changeling between human and troll. But it's going to take some really weird, really hard to get ingredients. And it's kind of an experiment, they're not sure it'll work without some tests." Toby's legs twined the the rungs of his chair, obviously anxious.

"Dr. Lake, they need something of Jim's from before he became a troll. Hair maybe." Claire couldn't read the woman's expression anymore and wondered if she was angry. "We wanted to tell you as soon as we had the idea, but we wanted to be sure we had a chance before saying anything."

Barbara rested her chin on her fists, elbows on the table. "How long have Blinky and Walter been talking?"

"In seriousness? Maybe a week. We just found out a few days ago. And we're still trying to get Merlin on board, he thinks it's too dangerous." Toby shrugged. "Some of these things are going to be hazardous to go after. Par for the course, am I right? Never just a grocery trip."

Barbara set her hands down, looking at her fingernails. They were a little chipped, and Claire wondered at how the woman could carry all she had and still be concerned about her patients. The apple didn't fall far from the tree, she realized, recognizing the pensive look on Barbara Lake's face. "Would teeth work?" Barbara lifted her chin. "I…I have a little box of his baby teeth at home. In my dresser."

Toby grinned. "That would totally work! Dr. Lake, you the Doc!" His jubilance was met with a wan smile and he cleared his throat. "I'm sure Strickler just wanted to get a better idea of the formula before telling you. Uh…you're not mad at him are you?"

"No. Walter cares about Jim, and me. And you two, even if he shows it badly." Barbara looked at her hands. They were shaking. "I want to be part of this. I'll run home on the gyre and get the teeth just as soon as I can. Can we go now?"

She sounded like an excited child, ready to tear open a present. Claire coughed. "Oh. After…yes, that first. Then we'll go back and…yeah, okay." Barbara took a calming breath. "Obviously we need to act normal around Jim."

"Yeah. That 'defense formula' was just a story we whipped up so he wouldn't know what we were planning. Plus we might need his help to get some stuff." Toby stood up, gathering several of her bags. "Let's get back. Aaarrrgghh is already trying to get info on where one of the ingredients is."

Claire sighed with relief. "Good. I'm ready to get this hunt on the road. So did he say where he was going?"

Toby shook his head. "Nah, just said he had to talk to someone about a lead on the phoenix. Maybe an old friend of his?"

Aaarrrgghh was not bothered by the heat. But he was bothered by Gatto's glowering, fiery eyes. "I had wondered when you would come to pilfer something else from me. I was getting to enjoy the quiet."

The trolls of the volcano skulked and skirted the room; they weren't foolish enough to come close to their master while he was in such a mood. Aaarrrgghh saw little difference between Gatto and Gunmar at the end of the day. He loomed over his kingdom and hoarded treasures, and consumed his own people.

When had trolls become so accepting of such things? Humans had issues with unfairness and power, but Aaarrrgghh was not aware of any sane humans that consumed other people. He huffed in the baking heat, glaring down Gatto. "Only here to ask a question. Not interested in fighting."

The craggy, massive face twisted in curiosity. It was a malevolent expression. "Is that so? You know the drill. I ask a riddle and if you don't know the answer, I eat you. Of course, the same usually stands true even if you do know the answer."

Aaarrrgghh opened his right fist. The odor of the paper wrapped parcel made his nostrils sting. "Ghost Pepper El Diablo Maximus. You eat, you suffer." Gatto's mouth puckered in alarm. "You ever hear of phoenix?"

"Heard of a…? Of course I have. I am a master of fire and all its creatures." Not technically true, but Aaarrrgghh wasn't one to argue semantics. "But what is that information worth to you, dull one?" Aaarrrgghh did not answer. The volcanic creature shut his steaming eyes in thought. "It's not uncommon for her to travel through my magma tunnels. Such a creature is not safe in the world of men. But I have never spoken to her. I only sense her by her brightness. She carries powerful magic."

"Where she at?" Aaarrrgghh was not willing to divulge details; he wouldn't put it past Gatto to expect something for the information if he discerned how desperate Aaarrrgghh was for it.

Unfortunately, he was correct. Gatto smirked as if reading his mind. "I will tell you where she lairs. But you must give me something for my keep in return. Since the lot of you have stolen so much from me in the past."

"Saved you and all other trolls. You eat people. Don't deserve any treasure." Aaarrrgghh felt the warring blackness creep around his eyes but pushed it back with a fierce snort. The lines in his stone skin ceased glowing. The fury still existed deep in his heart, and it made him nervous to be without Toby. His wingman was always a calming influence, bright and encouraging. "What you want? Might be willing to give. But no eating people."

Gatto's smile widened. "The Staff of Avalon."

"No." Aaarrrgghh gave him a stupid look. "Merlin blow you up for suggesting."

Apparently Gatto had expected this, for his sulking quiet was gone in a moment. "Fine…it was a long shot. The Skathe Hrune then."

"Destroyed sealing Morganna away."

"The Triumbric Stones."

"Can't get out of amulet."

"Vendel's Staff?"

"Eaten by Gunmar."

"Oh come on…Inferna Copula."

"Destroyed. And Kairosect used up, Killahead Bridge gone, et cetera." Aaarrrgghh shook his head. "Many old things gone away now." And good riddance to most of them.

"Fine! But I demand some form of treasure! I'll not be cheated a third time!" Gatto growled and the room shook. Aaarrrgghh glared back defiantly. The volcano troll paused and then smiled cruelly. "Ah, I know. It would be a sweet revenge considering all the gastrointestinal discomfort I've suffered."

Aaarrrgghh heard the answer and his heart fell. "Oh…"

James, it seemed, could ignore everything around him while reading.

Nomura kept an eye on him, despite Jim's assurance that the man was harmless to them. She drifted like a cat around the heartstone, green eyes never leaving him. Jim paused in his work and said, "Nomura, he's really okay. I mean, he's not going to cause trouble." He wrinkled his nose. "This stuff better protect the heartstone like Merlin says."

With a large brush he was coating the heartstone – brilliant and golden and humming with warm light – with a thick, clear liquid. It buzzed where his fingers touched, though Merlin had assured him it was safe to touch. "I have protective herbs and minerals in this concoction. It will help feed the stone and provide a layer of protection to any supernatural attack." Merlin had handed it to him, looking weary. "Two coats should do it."

The smell was strange, rather like silt and fertilizer. But the clearness of it was the strangest part. Nomura drew close, eyeing James as he sat against the wall, reading several pages held together in a binder. "He reads writings from the Ga-Huel. Inadvisable, Little Gynt."

"Only the parts about phantoms. He's trying to figure out ways to stop Mordred." And waiting for him to strike again, Jim thought. The air felt cool around him, brittle, and he wondered if Mordred would reappear today. It would be in this room if James was right, and a week was about the right timing. "Do you know anything about ghosts, Nomura?" Jim asked suddenly.

She folded her arms across her narrow chest. "Phantoms aren't ghosts. They are people that were intended to be liches but for some reason their bodies were unable to contain the cursed soul. Another term for a phantom nowadays would be 'wight.' The difference between the two creatures is the presence of a physical body. Both are created from beings of powerful magic, high emotion deaths, and are often linked to sorcerers and magical storages for their souls. Angor Rot was a lich when Morganna returned him to life, and the Inferna Copula would have been what was called the phylactery." Nomura moved so he could continue brushing the solution onto the heartstone and listen at the same time. Her hair gleamed like oil in the light. "Few people set out to create wights. Liches are better for destroying one's enemies. Mordred was filled with great magic indeed to be able to affect the physical world so much as a spirit. Most of them are limited to what you'd think of as poltergeist activity."

Jim thought of Angor Rot, of his death and the cracked relief on that frightening, dying face. "So could Mordred's spirit be saved? Or is it all bad?"

Nomura snickered softly, but with little malice. "Always the first question with you, Little Gynt. Can the depraved demon be saved?" He frowned at her and she recovered. "I'm not certain. Depending on how far gone he is, and if his will has completely drained away, it might be possible to lift the curse binding him to Morganna's will and rage."

Jim considered his words carefully as he continued, "Merlin thought that to banish a phantom, the method was putting them in the Shadow Realm."

"A full-fledged wight can only be exorcised or banished. Or so the Book of Ga-Huel tells us. The trouble is knowing when the wight is truly gone to full darkness." She took the brush to daub a measure onto the very highest part, easily reached with her graceful, lean legs. Jim could make it but he would make a greater racket with metal on stone. "It's like people. How can you tell when one is so evil one can't be saved?"

Jim held up the bucket so she could reach easier. "I don't know if that point exists. I'd like to try, anyway. Sticking him in the Shadow Realm because of someone kidnapping him and filling him up with evil magic…it's wrong."

Nomura blinked down at him. Then she laughed. "Ah…to hear words like that. Perhaps the future of the changelings will not be so dark as I see it."

They were not so different, Jim realized. Changelings had not chosen their form, and they hadn't chosen to be indoctrinated into Gunmar's will. "Are people still being bad to you? You helped save them all. And you can't even change form anymore!"

"Once a changeling, always a changeling. Filthy, double-crossing troll that plays at being human. Survives by kidnapping human babies." Nomura handed the brush back down, creeping off the top of the crystal. "'Impure' is a kinder word than we're used to."

Jim's jaw tightened. "I don't understand. Tons of trolls were taken and experimented on, why are they so bad to changelings?"

"Because we're dirty. We're sullied stone. Inferior to different trolls. Or did you think prejudice was unique to humans?" Nomura waited as he knelt to cover the underside of the stone, and as much of the pieces growing out of the crystal bed as possible.

"I guess I figured a race that could live to be hundreds of years old wouldn't have problems like that. At least, not when they've met good changelings." Jim accepted her hand as she helped him up, swinging the empty bucket. "Do you need me to talk to anyone? This is your home as much as theirs, and we don't have time for people to act stupid."

She grinned that wide, predatory grin but Jim had learned a savage smile from a real one. "I'm a big girl, I don't worry about what people think. But it's nice to have someone in my corner." She punched his shoulder gently.

"Not to interrupt, but you mentioned wights not being too far gone." James stood up and paced closer to them, and Jim again didn't exactly know how to handle him. After his cruel words from the other day, Jim had barely been able to look at his father, and it had been hard enough looking at the man that had abandoned his family to protect them from boatloads of crazy magic. To his credit he didn't push, he didn't snap, and he hadn't tried to get all…Dad-ish. "This book details a few methods of determining the level of corruption in a wight. I should have guessed on some of them, honestly, but I was never too good with magical entities that could talk back."

Nomura glanced at the copy pages. "You going to try one when he pops up?"

"Yes. Which will be any minute now." James looked around and Jim too felt the cold prickle of something coming. The air was shallower, light dimmer. "I'll handle Mordred, you guys just keep away from him and protect the glowing rock." He hesitated, looking at the two of them. "Sorry, not trying to bark orders. I'm just nervous about him. He's never specifically targeted anyone but me."

He opened his hand and Excalibur appeared, resplendent with its shining blade and golden hilt. Nomura cocked her head at it. "Has it always looked like a long sword? I wouldn't have expected that."

"Merlin's never cared much if his weapons fit a particular time period. The design is-"

"Tenth century, maybe a bit earlier. Yes, it doesn't match the time period of the Arthurian legends. But I suppose a wizard doesn't have to worry about little details like that." She snorted. James's brows rose. "I was a museum curator. I know things."

"Color me impressed." James turned, shoulders loosening as he rolled them, stretching. "Okay. He's here."

Jim didn't immediately see Mordred, though he could definitely feel his chill. Beyond the heartstone a small black mass formed, thick like ink but flowing like mist. It spread out in a small pool and out of it, into the soft gold light, rose Mordred. He looked uninjured from the former bout, hair hanging in his face as if he'd dozed off. Jim drew Eclipse, waiting, and Nomura just crossed her arms with faint interest.

Mordred's black armor absorbed the light and he tilted his head back, hair failing away and showing the pale, pained face. "Mordred," James called firmly.

His head snapped around, glaring malevolently. "Pendragon."

"Yeah, I know, 'Die scum, Merlin's puppet, your blood will stain my blade.' How about you hold off on that for a minute?" Mordred scowled, drawing his sword. James glanced at the papers in his free hand. Longsword or not, he could wield it with one hand easily. "Speak your full name. By your maker Morganna, I charge you to say your name."

Mordred flinched. Jim watched his face, wondering at this statement. Finally the phantom opened his mouth and hissed, "Mordred Pendragon, son of Morganna and Arthur." He wretched on the final word.

James turned to them with such life in his eyes. "A phantom can't say its own name. It loses it when it's fully corrupted. So he's not a full wight." He faced Mordred again, whose blue eyes burned with loathing. "Hear that kiddo? It's going to be okay. We'll fix this. I'll have to research a cleansing ritual..."

Mordred spat. "Die, filth!"

Nomura glanced at Jim. "Nice kid."

James hefted Excalibur and watched the ghost strafe toward him, fending off glancing blows as Mordred darted in with a cut. Jim and Nomura watched, following the swift movements. "Should we do something?" Jim asked, edging to block the heartstone from any harm. It was warmer near it, he realized, and the light was comforting in the large, echoing room.

"Take it from me. Never get involved in daddy issues. Other than your own anyway." Nomura jerked her chin upwards. "And the plot thickens." Merlin approached, staff in hand, eyes narrow as he exited the tunnel. Jim tracked the battle with his eyes. James was a far superior swordsman to Mordred, and he moved with an easy grace that was beautiful to watch. He flowed from pose to pose, obviously taking it easy on the ghost.

But Mordred didn't stop. Didn't tire. His swings were constant.

"James, stop this. Attack him and be done. Dancing with the issue won't make it any easier." Merlin's eyes were on Mordred. "I understand how you feel, but he's a threat to others here. I can't let him endanger the trolls, this is their best chance of settling a home. If he hasn't responded in hundreds and hundreds of years, he's not going to break free! The old Mordred is gone!"

James snarled at him. "You don't know that! You can so easily kill the kid you took from me!?"

Merlin's face reddened and stamped the butt of his staff against the ground. "He's already dead, and suffers every moment of his afterlife already! All his thoughts are for Morganna! Haven't you suffered long enough? I can end it for one of you at least!" There was something desperate underlying those words, tinged with guilt.

James shoved Mordred back, Excalibur ringing with the impact. "No. There's no such thing as suffering too long when it comes to your kids. If there is a chance I can save him, I'll do it! So shut up!"

Nomura flinched and Jim looked at her for just a second. But her face was even, green eyes following every movement. Merlin lowered the staff, for once at a loss. Mordred howled in anger, unable to land a hit. James's grimace was bitter, resigned. And all at once a whistle broke the battle.

Mordred froze mid swing. Jim's ears twitched – who was whistling? It was an unfamiliar tune. It wasn't Nomura, the only one he might have assumed. It was a cheerful thing, with dips and sounds like bird chirps. James stepped back from his son, turning warily.

Merlin was whistling. Jim stared nonplussed as the old wizard went on for nearly twenty seconds, and no one moved until he stopped. The silence was heavy as honey. Mordred lifted his head slowly, dreamily, and the cold's bite loosened its terrible hold for a moment. "Uncle Merlin?" he rasped, eyes fixing on the old man in confusion.

Jim's heart surged – had he broken the curse? Merlin's jaw fell and Jim could have sworn there were tears in his eyes. James swallowed hard. But Mordred shook his head hard and struck again, eyes blazing with rage once more. Nomura put a hand on Jim's shoulder. "It would seem there's something in there after all," she muttered.

James gasped; Mordred's blade had finally struck home, sinking into his stomach. The moment had lowered his defenses and Jim shouted in alarm. But James gritted his teeth and swung Excalibur, and with one cleaving blow, took Mordred's head from his neck. It bounced once and rolled away from the heartstone, toward Merlin, and stopped. In a few seconds the ghostly form vanished, cast back by Excalibur.

James stood, pressing a hand to his bleeding stomach. Jim saw the skin seep back across the wound, healing the injury and leaving his dark sweater black where the blood had soaked through. "Merlin. What was that?" Jim managed.

Merlin's face was ashen. If a man could die and still breathe, he'd done it. "It…it was…nothing. I…need to think for a while." He was gone into the shadows again before Jim could press him and James stared dully at the place where he'd had to decapitate his own son. Jim hesitated but crossed the room after a moment, like a wave lingering on the beach, unwilling and inexorable. He stood beside his father and looked at the place. There was no mark, no stain.

"It doesn't ever get easier," James whispered. "Killing my kid is…never any easier."

Jim found his throat hurt, and it took a moment too talk. "I'm sorry. I…don't know what that must be like." Jim rubbed the back of his neck, uncertain. "If he's in there, he understands. At least, I think so. I would try, if I were him. Especially if he doesn't want to hurt anyone deep down."

James looked at him with such an old, desolate expression that Jim didn't move when the man lurched at him and hugged him tightly around the shoulders. He smelled of human, of sweat and tiredness. "I get what you're saying. Thank you Jim."

Jim couldn't hug his father back. But he stood and let him linger there for some time.

End of Chapter 6

Preview of Chapter 7

"…He loved animals, you know."

Jim stopped. Merlin had spoken so suddenly, so softly, that he wasn't sure if he'd understood him. "Who loved animals?"

"Mordred. When he was a boy he would bring me fallen birds. I could mend their wings. He…always loved that. He had a great propensity for white magic. He would have made an excellent healer given time." Merlin turned over the book in his hands, listless. "But he was no warrior. No, that's all Morganna's influence. He couldn't bear to strike an animal, let alone hurt a person. He would rather muck out stalls than fight with a sword."

Jim turned to face Merlin. He'd never spoken in such a way. "He called you 'Uncle Merlin.' Were you like family?"

"I raised him from infancy. Arthur – forgive me, James – knew nothing of his existence and Morganna was often conducting her own studies, so it fell to me to raise a little boy. She couldn't abide babies anyway. It was the most challenging thing I could have imagined. I had an image of a great hero, a warrior beyond compare to imbue with great magic. I never dealt much with the children they were before that." He smiled faintly. It was full of a barbed pain, one that tore as it was drawn out. "Serves me right that I would get the cuddliest little monster ever born. Always wanted to be near me, watching me work, helping me with tasks. He craved affection. I can't tell you how many times I had to pry him off me just to get any work done. I would whistle that song to help him sleep…he loved the sound of the bird whistles. He was always willing to help me, and never thought to ask why I put so much magic into him. He trusted me."

Mordred, a sweet kid. Jim tried to imagine it. A little boy, following Merlin around with starry eyes, letting magic flow through him without a fear. "Sounds like he loved you. And…you loved him."