Thanks very much to Catherine for reviewing! Reply to her review:
;D Trust me, the best way to get people to update is the butter them up. And yeah, Kylie is a firm believer in the twisted version of the 'treat others the way you want to be treated' code. Which basically means she'll treat them nice at first, but if they treat her not-so-nicely, she'll "assume" they want to be treated the same.
You haven't watched the movie yet? You should! It's really good! ...Well, it is a Disney movie, but I still love it!
Here you go!
"Kuzco!" I shouted, walking into the jungle just after Kuzco had. The aforementioned llama turned around, looking exasperated when he saw me.
"There you are. I was wondering when you'd catch up." He said to me, stopping for a minute so that I could walk beside him. I caught up, breathing heavily.
"You could've waited for me." I said through my gasps. He rolled his eyes.
"The emperor waits for no one." Kuzco said snootily. I raised my eyebrows.
"Really? Then what was that just now?" I asked him, now that I had my breath back.
"Well-uh..." He said, obviously looking for an excuse. I rolled my eyes yet again.
"Thought so. So, Oh Mighty Emperor," Heavy sarcasm. "do you have any idea where we're going?" I asked, looking around at the slightly creepy jungle.
"Ha ha. Please. I'm the emperor, and as such, I'm born with an innate sense of direction." I stayed silent, allowing him to finish. "Okay, where am I?" He looked around, his ears flattening against his head. A creak echoed through the area, and Kuzco whipped his head toward the spider web I had noticed earlier.
I looked away. This part always creeped me out.
"Help me! Help me! Help me!" I heard the fly scream, and then there was a sickening crunching sound, and it went silent. Kuzco had a freaked out looked on his face.
"Okay, that was the freakiest thing I've ever seen." He said, looking around again.
"Yzma's freakier." I said flatly, looking around for Bucky. Kuzco nodded.
"Yeah, but-aah!" Kuzco jumped slightly, hearing a rustling in the bushes. I acted frightened as well, but was really watching the spot where Bucky would appear. The bushes all around us rustled, and Kuzco looked like he was about to have a heart attack. The rustling moved to the spot where I was looking, and Bucky jumped out. Kuzco glared at him.
"Hmm. What do you want?" Kuzco asked bitterly, and Bucky chattered cutely and held out an acorn. "Oh, for me?" Kuzco said sweetly. Bucky smiled cutely. "Why, I don't know what to say." Kuzco continued, taking the acorn. Bucky chattered modestly. Kuzco threw the acorn at Bucky, hitting him in the head. "Hit the road, Bucky!"
"Ow!" Bucky said, rubbing his head and muttering to himself.
"Kuzco! He was just trying to be nice!" I said, walking over to Bucky and rubbing his head gently. The squirrel huffed and turned away from Kuzco.
"It's just a squirrel." Kuzco said, then grabbed one of my arms-legs now, I guess-and dragged me away. "He'll liv-aaah!" He tripped down into a hole in the ground, dragging me with him. We fell through several layers of branches, finally landing in a hard stop in the middle of a jaguars' nest. Kuzco got up, and I covered his mouth before he could scream.
"Shhh!" I whispered harshly, letting him go. He stood up straighter and walked between me and the branch that Bucky was probably standing on. Sure enough, I heard the sounds of a balloon being blown up and formed into a llama. I even heard the 'fwak' sound of the needle being pulled off of the branch.
"No, no. No, no, no, no." I heard Kuzco say desperately, the the sound of Bucky making a sound of agreement. "No, no. No, don't." Kuzco tried, and I heard the needle being held up to the balloon. I walked around Kuzco.
"Wait-" It was too late. The sound of a balloon popping echoed across the clearing, but the jaguars didn't wake up. I sighed in relief.
"Ha!" I heard Kuzco yell. That woke them up, and the next second, we were surrounded by growling jaguars.
We ran, jumping over bushes and roots, and almost falling off of a small cliff. Kuzco hit his neck on a branch that I ducked, flinging him up into the air and onto a jaguars back.
The jaguar growled and dug his heels into the ground. Kuzco went flying into me, and we both went flying to the edge of a cliff.
The jaguars cornered us, growling. Wow, such a wide vocabulary, eh?
Ahem. Anyway, we were cornered at the edge of a tall cliff by killer jaguars. Seconds later, Kuzco echoes my thoughts out loud.
"You killer jaguars..." Kuzco spoke, then backed up to the edge of the cliff, nearly slipping off. "...whoa!" The jaguars closed in on us, and we prepared for our last moments.
Then suddenly, we heard a typical 'Tarzan' yell coming from our right side. We looked to the right, and saw Pacha swinging towards us on a vine. When Kuzco recognized him, he gave the jaguars a smug look.
Pacha swung right towards the jaguars, who dodged and watched him fly by. We all watched him kick wildly for a bit, then went back to our previous occupations.
I then suddenly had the feeling of weightlessness, and we were all swinging on a vine with Pacha holding on to us. I found myself screaming along with Kuzco.
"Don't worry, Your Highnesses. I gotcha. You're safe now." Pacha reassured. The next second, the vine caught on a log and sent us whirling around it. When it stopped, we were all tied up.
"Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing, but this to me, might be considered kind of a step back, wouldn't you say?" Kuzco said, looking at me right beside him. I had a flat 'of course' look on my face.
"No, no, no. It's-it's okay. This-this is all right. We can figure this out." Pacha reassured us again, and I rolled my eyes.
Suddenly, the log we were tied to made a cracking sound, bending slightly.
"I hate you." Kuzco said flatly, and I prepared for the fall and the river rapids. The entire log snapped at the base, and we were sent tumbling down.
"Noooo!" Pacha yelled on the way down, while Kuzco and I yelled the typical 'Aaaaah!' The bottom of the log crashed against a cliff side standing out, and we all 'ow'd. Then the top crashed against another protruding cliff face, and then rolled along a slope into the river.
We were all under water for a moment; luckily, I had remembered this part and had taken a deep breath just before we went under. The log popped back up, and we went with the current towards the rapids.
The log crashed against the rocks on Kuzco's side every time. It was on his left, so that I was never bashed against the rocks. Had I not still been feeling the impact, I would've grinned at Disney's revenge.
We were then flung into a slightly calmer portion of the water, all of us coughing up water and taking deep breaths.
"I don't know about you two, but I'm getting all funned out." Kuzco said bitterly, and I nodded silently in agreement.
"Uh-oh." Pacha said. I straightened up, taking the next line before Kuzco did.
"Don't tell us. We're about to go over a huge waterfall." I said flatly.
"Yep." Pacha replied.
"Sharp rocks at the bottom?" Kuzco asked.
"Most likely." Pacha replied again, all of us keeping that same flat tone of voice.
"Bring it on." Kuzco and I said at the same time, looking straight forward. As we went over, Kuzco yelled. "Boo-yahahaha! Whoo!" We then crashed into the water, the force of the impact shattering the log we were tied to.
I burst to the surface, gasping for air. A few meters away, I saw Pacha come up as well. He looked to his side, and gasped. He then dived down after something, probably Kuzco.
Pacha surfaced closer to shore, and dragged Kuzco to land. I swam towards them quietly, not wanting to miss this. Pacha pressed his ear to Kuzco's neck, listening for a heartbeat. Not finding one, he sat up a bit.
"Your Highness. Your Highness, can you hear me?" Pacha spoke to Kuzco, lifting up one of his ears. Kuzco didn't respond. "Oh, boy. Come on, breathe." Pacha exclaimed, smacking Kuzco a few times.
"Breathe!" When Kuzco still didn't respond, Pacha sighed. "Ooh, why me?" He said, looking desperate.
Pacha lifted up Kuzco face, wiped his hands on his shawl, and opened Kuzco mouth. Kuzco's tongue popped out of his mouth, and apparently, he had bad breath, because Pacha quickly drew back.
"Ooh! All right!" Pacha said, leaning down over Kuzco and taking a deep breath. Just as Pacha got close, Kuzco woke up.
"Aah!" The llama shouted, jumping back. Pacha yelled and jumped back as well. They both spat and wiped off their mouths, gagging. They stopped for a bit, and turned back to look at each other.
"Ug!" They both shouted at the same time, turning away. I couldn't help it, I burst out laughing so hard my sides hurt. The two looked at me, still spiting. I walked out of the water, shaking most of the water from my fur.
"Oh, man! That was hilarious!" I said between bouts of laughter. They glared at me, both accidentally catching sight of each other and flinching away disgustedly. I howled.
XD "Kiss of Life" indeed.